Re:Pretty slow message board these past few days.

[Guest guest]

I didn't go to the party. Jim took pizza over to his mom and she was in a foul

mood. I went in to eat a slice of pizza with her and she was tirading. I

decided to see what the issues were.

She went from wanting to burn her house down to asking me to get her poison so

she could drink it. I casually explained they would do an autopsy and that they

would know she couldn't get out to get the poison, so I'd end up in prison for

murder.

She offered to pay for a divorce so I would not even be connected to her son

anymore and could live with her full-time and sleep in her bed llike a sister.

I had such a headache from a cold front moving through, and the drama of the

stained-glass snowman, I took a fioricet and went to bed.

Millie was up at midnight rattling around so I got up and fixed her some

breakfast. If it is dark, I always fix her breakfast, no matter what the time.

She put in her dentures and then complained the roof of her mouth was burning.

I wonder if she didn't rinse the polident off them before putting them in her

mouth. Then she complained of her nose itching, probably related.

never doubting the power of ice cream, I gave her a small cup of vanilla, and

asked her to take the dentures out so the ice cream would neutralize the

Polident, if that were the problem. she wouldn't take out the teeth, but did

finish the ice cream. She then was tired enough to go to bed again.

So, I slelpt through the party, even though my husband offered to come over

once Millie fell asleep. so, i have a snowman, and two veggie trays and a

little more sleep to my credit.

If i hadn't had the headache, I probably would have gone to the party.

the fact that I slept from 6:30 to midnight testifies to my exhaustion. Heck,

i wouldn't have been able to drink having taken the fioricet.

Millie hates the relationship she has with her oldest son. She is the one who

turned his heart to stone almost 60 years ago, and she is now paying the price.

She never checked on her kids when they were sick. She would say, either they

will get better or die, and whatever happens, we will deal with that. Since Jim

is asthmatic, and both parents would smoke in the car, he didn't learn any

compassion.

If she has unfinished business, it is Jim, and it will be a problem they both

take to their graves.

So, thanks for all your encouragement.

Since things are rather slow on the site this weekend, I will not apologize

for the pity party and follow up.

Some of this might be the result of the switch to vicodin for pain.

I snuck out early this morning like a school morning so i can run to Wal-Mart

without a tag-a-long.

thanks for listening.

Carol

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[Guest guest]

,

I am so glad someome else has a M-I-L who didn't put herself out. Millie used

to like to have the three d-i-l's compete for favorite d-i-l status by putting

things out there for us to complete for her. I finally got wise and quit

playing the game.

She is such as cold fish, and no matter how many times she tells me that she

loves me, I just can't forget the incredible damage she did to her own children.

My husband has no way to deal with anything emotional.

If I ask him if he loves me, he says, " I married you,didn't I? "

If I ask him to whisper something soft and mushy in my ear, I get " lake bottom

and cow pies " as a response.

I know the unfinished business will always be her relationship with her sons,

and my guess is she can't live enough years for the sons to really forgive her.

She taught them not to worry about anything. Her belief was that worry

doesn't do any good anyway. However, her not worrying, really was to absolutely

ignore everyone but yourself.

Jim's dad was not at all affectionate, and if he patted Milie on the head

before he left for work, that was an extreme sign of affection. Jim talks more

to our six dogs than he talks to people.

If your husband didn't have to earn a living, I suspect staying put would have

been an option. Wherever you end up, I am sure they have assisted living

facilities and nursing homes with a bed by the window.

We are always just children in our parent's homes, even if we are nearly our

AARP years ourselves.

Millie would be in a nursing home if she qualified, but just being Lewy Body

is not enough to stay permanently. On a good day she is functioning too high.

Our Hospice doctor is not very Lewy Saavy, so he won't prescribe the Razadyne.

We are currently in Donut Hole with medicare, and at least now I have my husband

working on seeing if AARP has paid any toward that.

In two weeks I will get to meet the Hospice doctor. he is coming by the house

while I am on my break.

My doctor put me on Adderall for my ADHD, but 10 mg, did very little.

The Melatonin at night has become crucial, as at least I wake up semi-sane,

even in the middle of the night to deal with Millie.

I should be putting up a Christmas tree, and I have a gorgeous white

fiber-optic one i got after season last year, but my house is too messy to even

consider making room for a tree.

It is all I can do to get my clothes clean for the next week of school, much

less keep up two households.

I can't even see through enough to hire someone to clean my house.

I am detecting a massive dose of caregiver stress here. I might actually be

entitled to this never-ending pity party.

I snuck out to Wal-Mart this morning and did get somethings we needed.

If the Adderall will just kick in, I might get something done around my house.

The stained-glass snowman remains unwrapped, and a reminder of the party I

didn't get to. I did get about six extra hours of sleep because I didn't

attend, and in dog naps, that is 42 hours.

Dimpsey, and , thanks for your encouraging words. if either of you get

a chance to have a beer in the next few days, please toast me, so at least I

have raised a glass. I'll drink what ever is on sale.

So, I'll close here, and thank my miriad of therapists here on this site.

We do some much for each other, I am so glad to be able to chronicle the crap,

as opposed to just holding it in.

Carol

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