Re: Recognising acceptance

[Guest guest]

I think one of the biggest misunderstandings about ACT's Acceptance is that people think it is dealing with external experiences. In other words, people misunderstand that word as saying "acceptance of external experiences." Actually, what ACT is cultivating is acceptance of internal experiences.For example, instead of accepting the death of your grandmother, you accept your grief, other feelings and thoughts linked to her death. Instead of accepting that you can't give a house to your son in a better area, you accept your frustration, anger or any other emotions along with thoughts linked to not getting that for him.To simplify even further, Acceptance/Willingness can be

simplified with the following saying:"Feel your feelings, think your thoughts."SignatureIf you live in New York City and are interested in joining or forming an ACT Study Group, please contact me. C.Subject: Recognising acceptanceTo: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Tuesday, February 1,

2011, 7:54 AM

Hi Actors.

I have had a lot of problems trying to visualise what acceptance is. No-one can find the right words, I don't think, and the ones that have been used are inevitably vague and open to interpretation to those who haven't experienced it.

A few things have come to me: these are so obvious, but no-one has mentioned it (as far as I can see) so will raise them in case they help another.

Acceptance isn't a "state of being". You are not an "accepting person" or not. Every one of us probably has issues that we have problems accepting - but then, presumably there are things that we have accepted.

Following that, I presume we can all then look back at issues that have troubled us both in the past and at present, which are still painful, but we can see clearly that we have accepted. This is an eye-opener for me.

I have come up with a long list. They cause anxiety and a bit of tension, although it is numb and I know in my heart of hearts that they are pretty much unchangeable. I have accepted these. They include the death of my grandma, the fact that I cannot give my son a house in a better area, that some of my work colleagues don't like me, that my brother will never change his ways....... and many more.

I can look at these, and see quite clearly that I have accepted them. I can also see quite clearly what I have NOT accepted, in contrast. Some of my son's difficulties remain in this group. And there are some issues I am moving towards accepting, but not there yet.

I wonder if this is obvious, but helpful to someone nevertheless

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