Imogene

[Guest guest]

Hello Imogene-

Experiencing a balmy 22 degrees here in Des Moines. Had our share of storms

last week...rain followed by sleet followed by ice followed by snow and more

sleet. Whoa!!

It will be 58 here again...come April or May. (grins)

Happy Sunday to you and Don, with many hugs-

Sandie

-- Re: Re: Heard from Diane/Carol Incognito/Imogene

Enjoy the snow, Donna. You can have my share. I love the beauty of it when

it is fresh, but don't like having to work in it, especially along with Ice

Please keep my share up there with you. It is cool, about 58F, but a

beautiful day in San .

Love a bunch,

Imogene

In a message dated 12/15/2007 10:01:33 PM Central Standard Time,

twomido@... writes:

,

I think everyone is doing stuff for Christmas too. But we are waiting for

a

major storm here in MI too.

I haven't been upstairs to see if it started yet, but it is suppose to snow

all night.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th

year in a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

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[Guest guest]

Howdy Imogene,

Imogene, when Jim was living at home and combative and getting hard to handle,

because he was uncooperative and becoming more and more unsafe at home, I waited

until the next time I had to call the paramedics, because of his aggressiveness

and it was at a time when I was just not going to put up with it anymore, so

while he was in emergency being checked for a UTI and other infections that

could cause him to be aggressive, I asked to speak to the Social Worker and from

there the ball got rolling to put Jim in a nursing home and from that point on,

I did not look back. I was ready. The Social Worker had Jim admitted into the

hospital, because by law they have to stay for 3 days and show good behavior

before being admitted to the nursing home and then the hospital transfered Jim

by ambulance transport that is used for transportation from one place to

another, not an emergency type ambulance and I met Jim at the nursing home when

he arrived. It was so much easier than me

trying to drag him to a nursing home and hope that he would get out of the car.

I stayed with Jim the entire day to acclimate him and everything ran smoothly.

Imogene, the Social Worker gave me a list of nursing homes in our area and they

had to have a contracted doctor from Jim's health care provider at the nursing

home. Jim being in the hospital for 3 days gave me plenty of time to check them

out, but I had checked out many of the NHs before this too and had a list of NHs

numbered in order of 1 being best to 7 being least liked. When I went in my

order my first choice was booked and so was my second choice. Where Jim is now

was my third choice on my list. I was lucky they had an opening or I would have

waited again until I could get one of my top 3 choices. I am glad I didn't have

to wait, because I might have had second thoughts about putting Jim in a nursing

home and have to start that all over again at another time.

It is funny, because now when Jim comes home for the weekends he is not

aggressive or uncooperative anymore. The nursing home has really helped him to

mellow out. It's not medications making him mellow, because other than the

Exelon Patch all his meds are the same as he was taking while living at home. I

guess because I am not 24/7 in his face, he is more happier to see me.

I really enjoy having Jim only 10 minutes away from me. It would be so

stressful to drive for miles and hours away to see him. I could not handle that.

This way, it is easy to get him home for the weekends too.

Oh Imogene, I have so many key stories, but one that stands out in my mind is

over a battle that Jim and I had. What else?! It is when I was going through

that nightmare of Jim driving. He got the keys out of my purse when I was not in

the room with him and he hid them. They were my keys to drive the car and they

had the house keys on them too. I was very upset he took them and when he set

them down I grabbed them when he wasn't expecting me to be near by and I put

them in my pocket. Well, sometime during the day I was very tired and I could

not stay awake, so I layed down to take a nap. Jim was still walking at this

time. Wouldn't you know the keys fell out of my pocket while I was sleeping and

Jim got them again. I was very upset and I didn't feel like cooking and decided

we were going to go out to eat. Jim would not give me the keys back, but Ah Ha!

I had hidden car keys, so I grabbed those and Jim and I left the house and drove

off to eat. Now, in my frame of mind

being upset with Jim and being so tired, I forgot that I did not have the house

keys on the spare car keys that I had, but I still hadn't thought of this as we

ate and then drove home and then it hit me. We couldn't get in the house! It was

now around 10PM and we called his daughter that usually has an extra key of

ours, but I forgot I had the locks changed to a safer lock where Jim couldn't

escape from the house and didn't give her the new key. I dialed information on

my cell phone for a lock smith, but it was late and the locksmith was closed. I

had to go into the backyard and pick up a brick and I threw it at our bathroom

window and broke the window and got the ladder and crawled into the window and

came around and unlocked the door for Jim to come in. Now, I had a broken window

and had to call the window guys in an emergency repair, because I had to tape

the window up with electrical tape for the night, so the wind wouldn't blow

through. I found the keys in a shoe

later. Jim hid a lot of things in shoes I found. Jim has given me a lot of

memories. They all seem funny to me now, but at the time it wasn't so funny.

Hahahahaha

I love Jim's shower nights at the nh, he smells so good! I have them use Jim's

soap. The nh uses antibacterial soap that they have in the shower rooms and it

was drying the heck out of Jim's skin and scalp, so they use Jim's shampoo and

soap when they shower him now and he is the best smelling guy at the HOME. LOL I

keep hand sanitizer handy at the nh, so Jim gets that rubbed on his hands

everyday to keep the germs away!

Imogene, look in shoes for the gate key and you might find it. I'm glad you

enjoyed the day anyway. Your key episode brought back a lot of key memories.

It was raining cats and dogs here today. Where the heck did that expression

come from?! LOL I would have prefered a sunny day like you had. In a few days

it will be the shortest day of the year and dark really early and then the days

get longer again. OH HAPPY DAYS! I do not like these dark early days.

Hang in there Imogene!

Love ya lots...................Jan

Iward27663@... wrote:

Jan, thank you for going into detail about how you found a nursing home.

There are many around this hospital, but what ones would the hospital send Don

to if needed? So now I know how to go about lining up a nursing home that is

suitable.

We were going to put Don in the Nursing home that his daughter works in. She

has been nurse for nearly 25 years, and took care of Mamaw and Papaw, and

said she would care of her daddy, Don. but at the same time He would be 90

minutes away from me. I couldn't handle that. So, I am going to look locally, so

I can look in on Don every day or near abouts. (how's that for sentence

structure?)

Today I spent several hours looking for the back gate key that Don had lost.

Poor Don was having a very bad day. It was a beautiful day, but kicking the

leaves around didn't do my allergies any good, still in all I enjoyed being

out in the wonderful sunshine! Never found the keys. I hid all the other keys

and asked him to ask me when he needed to use a key and I would open

whatever--

Later I had to give my precious man a bath. He was so appreciative and loves

me so much that it was really nice to receive his affection when I was

helping him get ready for bed. It has been a joyous day! It reminded me of when

I

gave my babies a bath, and they were all clean and sweet, when I put them to

bed. They were in such a good lovable moods and so was my sweetheart.

Love a lot, does a body good,

Imogene

In a message dated 12/18/2007 3:52:23 PM Central Standard Time,

janetcolello@... writes:

Hi Courage,

I'm here to say that I do not have a POA for Jim, his kids have all the POA

and I made all the arrangements to have Jim put into a nh. They probably

could have argued, but then they would have had to put some time in to care for

Jim and help me out if they didn't agree and of course, they didn't want that,

so they never said a word against it. If it was up to Jim's kids and I

wasn't in the picture, they would have put him in a nh years before I did

anyway.

I was never asked for a POA to move Jim to a nh, it all went smoothly and it

was with a Social Worker from the hospital that helped me when I contacted

her and said I was ready. She gave me a list of NHs in the area that accepted

Medicaid and that had doctors from Jim's Health Provider. He could not stay in

a nh that did not contract doctors from his health provider. They do know at

the hospital too, that Jim's daughter has POA. At the nh also, I do not

have a Health Directive POA for Jim, his daughter was given that.

They know at the nh that his daughter has the POA, but they always turn to

me about Jim's medications and his health issues. The daughter is not involved

nor does she want to be, so it is fine with her. At the hospital too, I sign

all of Jim's papers for medications and health issues. If it is really an

emergency they will contact Jim's daughter to see that we are all on the same

page as for what to do. But thankfully, I am really able to speak for Jim. I

do know what he has requested in his Directive, so we are all on the same page

with that.

Just answering your question and I guess in some cases it doesn't have to be

with a POA to put a LO in a nh.....................Jan

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