Re: Re:Pretty slow message board these past few days.

[Guest guest]

Carol, I'll toast you with a glass of wine. Glad you got some badly needed

sleep.

Love a bunch,

Imogene

In a message dated 12/16/2007 9:59:31 AM Central Standard Time,

adhd5464@... writes:

,

I am so glad someome else has a M-I-L who didn't put herself out. Millie

used to like to have the three d-i-l's compete for favorite d-i-l status by

putting things out there for us to complete for her. I finally got wise and

quit playing the game.

She is such as cold fish, and no matter how many times she tells me that she

loves me, I just can't forget the incredible damage she did to her own

children. My husband has no way to deal with anything emotional.

If I ask him if he loves me, he says, " I married you,didn't I? "

If I ask him to whisper something soft and mushy in my ear, I get " lake

bottom and cow pies " as a response.

I know the unfinished business will always be her relationship with her

sons, and my guess is she can't live enough years for the sons to really

forgive

her.

She taught them not to worry about anything. Her belief was that worry

doesn't do any good anyway. However, her not worrying, really was to

absolutely

ignore everyone but yourself.

Jim's dad was not at all affectionate, and if he patted Milie on the head

before he left for work, that was an extreme sign of affection. Jim talks more

to our six dogs than he talks to people.

If your husband didn't have to earn a living, I suspect staying put would

have been an option. Wherever you end up, I am sure they have assisted living

facilities and nursing homes with a bed by the window.

We are always just children in our parent's homes, even if we are nearly our

AARP years ourselves.

Millie would be in a nursing home if she qualified, but just being Lewy Body

is not enough to stay permanently. On a good day she is functioning too

high.

Our Hospice doctor is not very Lewy Saavy, so he won't prescribe the

Razadyne. We are currently in Donut Hole with medicare, and at least now I

have my

husband working on seeing if AARP has paid any toward that.

In two weeks I will get to meet the Hospice doctor. he is coming by the

house while I am on my break.

My doctor put me on Adderall for my ADHD, but 10 mg, did very little.

The Melatonin at night has become crucial, as at least I wake up semi-sane,

even in the middle of the night to deal with Millie.

I should be putting up a Christmas tree, and I have a gorgeous white

fiber-optic one i got after season last year, but my house is too messy to even

consider making room for a tree.

It is all I can do to get my clothes clean for the next week of school, much

less keep up two households.

I can't even see through enough to hire someone to clean my house.

I am detecting a massive dose of caregiver stress here. I might actually be

entitled to this never-ending pity party.

I snuck out to Wal-Mart this morning and did get somethings we needed.

If the Adderall will just kick in, I might get something done around my

house.

The stained-glass snowman remains unwrapped, and a reminder of the party I

didn't get to. I did get about six extra hours of sleep because I didn't

attend, and in dog naps, that is 42 hours.

Dimpsey, and , thanks for your encouraging words. if either of you

get a chance to have a beer in the next few days, please toast me, so at least

I have raised a glass. I'll drink what ever is on sale.

So, I'll close here, and thank my miriad of therapists here on this site.

We do some much for each other, I am so glad to be able to chronicle the

crap, as opposed to just holding it in.

Carol

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