I've just about had it

[Guest guest]

I've been in this group for awhile and have just sat back and read email

correspondences and tried to understand and have cried so many times because it

either related to me so much that it touch my emotions or simply tears of

frustration.

In 2002 I was diagnosed with Lupus. In 2007 I was FINALLY diagnosed with

Fibromyalgia.

I have had more surgeries than I can count. (a lot of scar tissue removals).

Everything from removing an ovary to removing lymph nodes.

I have recently been getting injections at the hospital's pain clinic on a

regular basis.

In the past 5 months I have gained over 45 pounds and I was already struggling

with my weight. I had a baby in Oct 2007. I took no medication during the

pregnancy or for the following year while I nursed.

Apparently that year and 9 months took a huge toll on my body. I have been

through hell since then and I believe now that I am finally at the worst.

I can barely hold myself up. EVERYTHING hurts. EVERYTHING.

I can't hug my daughter w/o PAIN, I can't pick her up w/o PAIN. I can't lie down

w/o PAIN, I can't stand up w/o PAIN.

And now for some odd reason my breasts are producing milk again after stopping

breastfeeding 10 months ago.

I feel like a freak! A freak walking around in an even BIGGER freak's body!

I just want to wake up from this nightmare!

I have a rhuemetologist that barely listens to me, a primary that moved out of

state so I don't have a new one yet, a decent psychiatrist. Besides these people

who see me once in a blue moon to just put me on more drugs, I have no support

system. Being on Medicaid doesn't help either.

Here's what I am currently taking:

Lyrica 150mg 3x/day

Plaquenil 200 mg 2x/day

Propranolol 20 mg

Cymbalta 120 mg

Ibuprofen 800 mg 2x/day

Vesicare 10 mg

Bentyl 10 mg 3x/day

Tramadol 50 mg 4x/day

Vicodin 5/500 2x/day

Trazodone 200 mg

Flexeril 10mg

Imitrex 50mg

Xanax .5mg

Multi Vitamins

Vitamin D + Calcium

I don't know what anyone can really do for me via an email, but I really think

it's about time I speak up and see if at least there's someone to talk to.

Thanks for reading