Fw: Article: Interviewing Mom

[Guest guest]

Just received this and thought I'd pass it on...~ "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."--Albert Camus Sent from my VZW BlackBerryDate: Mon, 07 May 2012 11:50:41 -0400To: ReplyTo: dan@...Subject: Article: Interviewing MomThis article describes how an interview can help you understand and appreciate your mom. Hope this is helpful.DanDan CoulterNOTE TO EDITORS: (We're distributing this article at no charge -- provided you run it unedited and unchanged, including the About the Author and Copyright information -- for use in websites, newsletters, magazines, and other communications. If you have any questions, please contact Dan Coulter at dan@... or .) ARTICLE:INTERVIEWING MOMBy Dan Coulter How well do you know your mom? You might say, "Hey, she’s my mom!" Yes, I’m sure you know a lot. But how much do you know that’s not solely tied to what she does for you? Maybe you’ve already bought your mom a gift or planned something special for Mother’s Day. In addition to that, why not give her something really personal? An interview. I have Asperger Syndrome. I know how easy it is to assume Mom knows how much you appreciate her. It took me a long time to understand how much it means for a mom to hear that out loud. It also can take time for a son or daughter to see Mom as a person who has more to her life than the family she loves. It’s easy to take what moms freely give. It’s not always easy to understand how to give back. I found that when I want to understand something better, one of the best ways is to ask questions. A great way to understand a person better is to interview that person. So, why not interview your mom? It will show her you’re interested in her life, and give you insights that can help you show you care. If she asks "Why?" tell her the truth: you want to know more about her. You can make up your own questions, but here are some you might want to include. 1. What’s your favorite color? 2. What’s your favorite song? 3. What’s your favorite place? 4. If you had a day to yourself to do anything you want, what would you do? 5. What makes you happy? 6. What makes you sad? 7. What’s your least favorite chore? 8. What was your favorite childhood toy? 9. What’s a great memory from being a teenager? 10. What’s a great memory as an adult? 11. What’s your biggest worry? 12. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done yet? 13. What’s something I could do that would make your life better? 14. What is your hope for me? 15. What’s something I don’t know about you that would surprise me? When you ask your questions, listen carefully to the answers. It’s fine to ask follow-up questions, but keep the focus on Mom. Even if you think you know the answer to a question, you may be surprised. It’s kind of ironic that so many little girls who were raised on princess stories of being rescued by a prince, turned into rescuers in their families. Girls became women who became moms who provide daily rescues with encouragement and band aids. With left-behind lunches and homework ferried to school. With long hours of research and never-ending efforts to help their children who have challenges. Doing an interview can give you ideas on ways you can "reciprocate rescue" your mom. Even though she’s an expert, Mom will appreciate being on the receiving end of a bit of rescuing. Especially if it comes from you. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter is the author of the upcoming book, "Life in the Asperger Lane." You can find more articles on his website at: www.coultervideo.com. © Dan Coulter 2012 Used by Permission All Rights Reserved(If you want to add an email address to the list receiving articles from Dan Coulter, please send an email to articles@... with "subscribe" in the subject field. If you no longer wish to receive these emails, please send an email to articles@... with "unsubscribe" in the subject field. Please use this email address only to subscribe or unsubscribe, and send correspondence to dan@.... Thanks.)

[Guest guest]

Nice Coulter piece, .

I won't cut and paste as leaving the Coulter questions on this comment may be helpful.

I'm a strong proponent of video and audio family histories. Not the kinds of videos made on the fly of baby's every first anything, or the kind of on the fly pictures and blogs so common on the Internet, but a serious sit-down with significant family members before they're too old or are gone. Coming from a radio and television talent and production background of my mother's involvement in commercial and community radio and TV, it was easy for me to become technically adept at doing histories, and our family started doing them early (at my mother's prompting) via her interviews with her parents and their close relatives --and our extended family -- long before they passed away. She also kept transcriptions of radio broadcasts on which my sisters were featured as holiday broadcast participants. Many of those recordings were made a significant family gatherings, such as a fiftieth anniversary or after a family member had gone through a significant event or reached a particular point of accomplishment -- or departure -- in their life.

Especially if there's a late-in-life conferring of the big DX, many folks want to come to some degree of completion or resolution over lots of family stuff that's happened in the past. Some of it can't be resolved, such as trying to reconnect with hopelessly self-isolating and distant close or distant relatives, but it's surprising to discover how open even some of the stuffiest or most stand-offish relatives can be if approached with some degree of sensitivity, which includes a genuine interest in knowing more about them.

Because it isn't "just about us or me."

Coulter's questions are ice breakers, but they're by no means complete. If you're interested in rounding the circle, or giving contact another try, one thing that's helpful is to listen to the Friday morning NPR broadcasts in the US that feature one on one audio interviews with family members. You can learn a lot about "how to do" by listening to complete amateurs getting it right most of the time.The feature is "Story Corps." Story Corps has not featured interviews with more than one other person, but our family history interview sessions expanded things to include other relatives or significant persons after the one-on-one was done. That really gave the listener a different take on what may have been a shared experience seen through the eyes of another family member who isn't the first one-on-one interviewee.

N. Meyer

Article: Interviewing Mom

This article describes how an interview can help you understand and appreciate your mom. Hope this is helpful.

Dan

Dan Coulter

NOTE TO EDITORS: (We're distributing this article at no charge -- provided you run it unedited and unchanged, including the About the Author and Copyright information -- for use in websites, newsletters, magazines, and other communications. If you have any questions, please contact Dan Coulter at dan@... or .)

ARTICLE:

INTERVIEWING MOM

By Dan Coulter

How well do you know your mom?

You might say, "Hey, she’s my mom!" Yes, I’m sure you know a lot. But how much do you know that’s not solely tied to what she does for you?

Maybe you’ve already bought your mom a gift or planned something special for Mother’s Day. In addition to that, why not give her something really personal? An interview.

I have Asperger Syndrome. I know how easy it is to assume Mom knows how much you appreciate her. It took me a long time to understand how much it means for a mom to hear that out loud. It also can take time for a son or daughter to see Mom as a person who has more to her life than the family she loves. It’s easy to take what moms freely give. It’s not always easy to understand how to give back.

I found that when I want to understand something better, one of the best ways is to ask questions. A great way to understand a person better is to interview that person.

So, why not interview your mom? It will show her you’re interested in her life, and give you insights that can help you show you care. If she asks "Why?" tell her the truth: you want to know more about her.

You can make up your own questions, but here are some you might want to include.

1. What’s your favorite color? 2. What’s your favorite song? 3. What’s your favorite place? 4. If you had a day to yourself to do anything you want, what would you do? 5. What makes you happy? 6. What makes you sad? 7. What’s your least favorite chore? 8. What was your favorite childhood toy? 9. What’s a great memory from being a teenager? 10. What’s a great memory as an adult? 11. What’s your biggest worry? 12. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done yet? 13. What’s something I could do that would make your life better? 14. What is your hope for me? 15. What’s something I don’t know about you that would surprise me?

When you ask your questions, listen carefully to the answers. It’s fine to ask follow-up questions, but keep the focus on Mom. Even if you think you know the answer to a question, you may be surprised.

It’s kind of ironic that so many little girls who were raised on princess stories of being rescued by a prince, turned into rescuers in their families. Girls became women who became moms who provide daily rescues with encouragement and band aids. With left-behind lunches and homework ferried to school. With long hours of research and never-ending efforts to help their children who have challenges.

Doing an interview can give you ideas on ways you can "reciprocate rescue" your mom. Even though she’s an expert, Mom will appreciate being on the receiving end of a bit of rescuing.

Especially if it comes from you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter is the author of the upcoming book, "Life in the Asperger Lane." You can find more articles on his website at: www.coultervideo.com.

© Dan Coulter 2012 Used by Permission All Rights Reserved

(If you want to add an email address to the list receiving articles from Dan Coulter, please send an email to articles@... with "subscribe" in the subject field. If you no longer wish to receive these emails, please send an email to articles@... with "unsubscribe" in the subject field. Please use this email address only to subscribe or unsubscribe, and send correspondence to dan@.... Thanks.)