Re: ...Eats, Shoots, and Leaves....

[Guest guest]

I actually have been following this thread and I don't really get it.. Like you Helena I am a bit confused?

 

Spot the difference??? 

Not really -- Unless you exchange the spelling (and meaning) of accept and except.  Is that what you meant?

 

Re: ...Eats, Shoots, and Leaves....

 

OK, from the perfectionistic pedantic ex-teacher:

 

Spot the difference:

 

Except if you are a homosexual, you'd want a opposite sex therapist.

Except, if you are a homosexual you'd want a opposite sex therapist.

 

Does that help?

 

S.

 

Except if you are a homosexual, you'd want a opposite sex therapist.Russel, that is a very bizarre and unscientific statement. Are you a homophobe?Maybe what you mean to say is, " Because I am uncertain and uncomfortable about my own sexuality, I will only work with an opposite sex therapist. "

I am a man and I have requested male therapists and psychiatrists for past forty years. And I am not gay--not that that actually has anything to do with anything. Now I am moving half a continent away to Colorado and I just arranged for an ACT therapist through email. I picked a woman this time because I liked her answers to my questions.

Bud Polk

[Guest guest]

Oh dear, several of my posts have not come through over the last day or so (maybe being caught as Spam on the listserve?) including my explanation of why I thought people might have misunderstood 's point owing to his punctuation. Nothing to do with confusion of except with accept! See the teacher coming out in me!

"Except if you are a homosexual, you'd want a opposite sex therapist."

is what wrote. I think this could be read as Unless you are a homosexual, you'd want an opposite sex therapist.

I suggest he maybe could have written:

Except, if you are a homosexual you'd want a opposite sex therapist.

That would mean to me:

On the other hand, if you are a homosexual you'd want a opposite sex therapist.

I am assuming that he was just pointing out that choosing a therapist with the gender you are not attracted to would be one way of avoiding the problem of attraction.

So I think some people thought he was saying the exact opposite of what he intended.

Probably not particularly important to push the point but I think it could be helpful cos it illustrates how easily internet communication can lead to upsets!

Does my post make sense now?

S.

Except if you are a homosexual, you'd want a opposite sex therapist.Russel, that is a very bizarre and unscientific statement. Are you a homophobe?Maybe what you mean to say is, "Because I am uncertain and uncomfortable about my own sexuality, I will only work with an opposite sex therapist." I am a man and I have requested male therapists and psychiatrists for past forty years. And I am not gay--not that that actually has anything to do with anything. Now I am moving half a continent away to Colorado and I just arranged for an ACT therapist through email. I picked a woman this time because I liked her answers to my questions.Bud Polk

[Guest guest]

"Unless you are a homosexual, you'd want an opposite sex therapist."

"On the other hand, if you are a homosexual you'd want an opposite sex therapist."

On the other hand calls for a following comma and Unless doesn't. But the meaning is the same to me.

I didn't think that you (as a teacher) would be confused about "accept" and "except" -- just that some readers might be.

Helena

Re: ...Eats, Shoots, and Leaves....

Oh dear, several of my posts have not come through over the last day or so (maybe being caught as Spam on the listserve?) including my explanation of why I thought people might have misunderstood 's point owing to his punctuation. Nothing to do with confusion of except with accept! See the teacher coming out in me!

"Except if you are a homosexual, you'd want a opposite sex therapist."

is what wrote. I think this could be read as Unless you are a homosexual, you'd want an opposite sex therapist.

I suggest he maybe could have written:

Except, if you are a homosexual you'd want a opposite sex therapist.

That would mean to me:

On the other hand, if you are a homosexual you'd want a opposite sex therapist.

I am assuming that he was just pointing out that choosing a therapist with the gender you are not attracted to would be one way of avoiding the problem of attraction.

So I think some people thought he was saying the exact opposite of what he intended.

Probably not particularly important to push the point but I think it could be helpful cos it illustrates how easily internet communication can lead to upsets!

Does my post make sense now?

S.

Except if you are a homosexual, you'd want a opposite sex therapist.Russel, that is a very bizarre and unscientific statement. Are you a homophobe?Maybe what you mean to say is, "Because I am uncertain and uncomfortable about my own sexuality, I will only work with an opposite sex therapist." I am a man and I have requested male therapists and psychiatrists for past forty years. And I am not gay--not that that actually has anything to do with anything. Now I am moving half a continent away to Colorado and I just arranged for an ACT therapist through email. I picked a woman this time because I liked her answers to my questions.Bud Polk

[Guest guest]

They have quite opposite implications for me!

The first punctuation to me means that all non-homosexuals would want (or would be advised to go for) an opposite sex therapist, which is not what I think meant.

The second punctuation implies to me that homosexuals would be better off choosing a therapist of the opposite sex which is what I think was suggesting just to cover homosexuals as well as heterosexual people!

It is tricky to explain. A bit like those optical illusions. Once you've read something one way it's hard to read it any other way.

Probably not that important though!

S.

Except if you are a homosexual, you'd want a opposite sex therapist.Russel, that is a very bizarre and unscientific statement. Are you a homophobe?Maybe what you mean to say is, "Because I am uncertain and uncomfortable about my own sexuality, I will only work with an opposite sex therapist." I am a man and I have requested male therapists and psychiatrists for past forty years. And I am not gay--not that that actually has anything to do with anything. Now I am moving half a continent away to Colorado and I just arranged for an ACT therapist through email. I picked a woman this time because I liked her answers to my questions.Bud Polk

[Guest guest]

ding ding ding ding ding !!! I get it now. I read both examples too quickly and without enough thought.

Language is very tricky indeed. It's not surprising that we misunderstand each other sometimes. Although not important in the grand scheme of things, this exchange is helpful in that it reminds me to be patient and non judgmental when reading other people's posts.

Thanks!

Helena

Re: ...Eats, Shoots, and Leaves....

They have quite opposite implications for me!

The first punctuation to me means that all non-homosexuals would want (or would be advised to go for) an opposite sex therapist, which is not what I think meant.

The second punctuation implies to me that homosexuals would be better off choosing a therapist of the opposite sex which is what I think was suggesting just to cover homosexuals as well as heterosexual people!

It is tricky to explain. A bit like those optical illusions. Once you've read something one way it's hard to read it any other way.

Probably not that important though!

S.

Except if you are a homosexual, you'd want a opposite sex therapist.Russel, that is a very bizarre and unscientific statement. Are you a homophobe?Maybe what you mean to say is, "Because I am uncertain and uncomfortable about my own sexuality, I will only work with an opposite sex therapist." I am a man and I have requested male therapists and psychiatrists for past forty years. And I am not gay--not that that actually has anything to do with anything. Now I am moving half a continent away to Colorado and I just arranged for an ACT therapist through email. I picked a woman this time because I liked her answers to my questions.Bud Polk

[Guest guest]

Hi S, Hi Helena,This conversation gave me the giggles.After some thought I realize I should had written:Except, if you are a homosexual - not that there is anything wrong with that! - you'd want an opposite sex therapist.

 

Great, Helena! Now I can stop checking, double checking and triple checking whether I really made  sense of this as well.

 

S.ding ding ding ding ding !!!  I get it now.  I read both examples too quickly and without enough thought.

 Language is very tricky indeed.  It's not surprising that we misunderstand each other sometimes.  Although not important in the grand scheme of things, this exchange is helpful in that it reminds me to be patient and non judgmental when reading other people's posts.

 Thanks!Helena

[Guest guest]

,

I'm a gay man, and I feel I've done more useful work with male therapists

(psychodynamic and CBT) than with women (CBT and person-centered). And I haven't

felt any sexual attraction to any of them. All that may be sampling error, but

I'm just saying. People are complicated.

bb

> >

> > ding ding ding ding ding !!! I get it now. I read both examples too

> > quickly and without enough thought.

> >

> > Language is very tricky indeed. It's not surprising that we misunderstand

> > each other sometimes. Although not important in the grand scheme of things,

> > this exchange is helpful in that it reminds me to be patient and non

> > judgmental when reading other people's posts.

> >

> > Thanks!

> > Helena

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>

> ,

>

> I'm a gay man, and I feel I've done more useful work with male therapists

(psychodynamic and CBT) than with women (CBT and person-centered). And I haven't

felt any sexual attraction to any of them. All that may be sampling error, but

I'm just saying. People are complicated.

>

> bb

Hi bb,

If I remember correctly has said as much himself. The confusion arose

over misleading punctuation in his post that gave much more prominence to his

statement than he expected as it made him appear to be saying the opposite of

what he intended:-)

Oh the perils of internet!

I have also had male therapists, and also GPs in the years before they worried

about being sued if they weren't chaperoned when doing examinations - I was

going to say body searches but that's not the right expression, is it :-)

I have never had any problem with sexual attraction ie feeling attracted getting

in the way of therapy. I think often the danger is more one of What if he thinks

I think he thinks I think ..... In other words anxiety resulting from excessive

What iffing.

I have had piano lessons with a male teacher for years now and am not attracted

to him (happily married) but yesterday when we were playing a duet I had one of

those awful intrusive thoughts: What if I lost control and kissed him? I had

absolutely no desire to - it was just one of those unwanted thoughts that pop up

just as the result of being a human. OCD is fed by paying such anxieties more

attention than they deserve. Asking yourself for example What does having this

thought mean about me? I am glad to say I did no self-analysis at all but just

said Oh, no there I go again smiling to myself as I have learnt (eventually) to

do with CBT and continued playing. I suppose the comparable ACT reaction might

be to say Thank you mind!

I got the impression that the original poster (E.?) on this topic about how to

react when seeing their therapist in public was really dealing with a " wouldn't

it be awful if " situation and more a " getting anxious about becoming anxious "

problem which is so common when you analyse your thoughts.

S.

[Guest guest]

Oh, apologies if I misunderstood you. I wasn't offended or anything. But

it's easy to lose context in these long threads..

*smiles at the piano teacher incident*

bb

> >

> > ,

> >

> > I'm a gay man, and I feel I've done more useful work with male therapists

(psychodynamic and CBT) than with women (CBT and person-centered). And I haven't

felt any sexual attraction to any of them. All that may be sampling error, but

I'm just saying. People are complicated.

> >

> > bb

>

> Hi bb,

>

> If I remember correctly has said as much himself. The confusion arose

over misleading punctuation in his post that gave much more prominence to his

statement than he expected as it made him appear to be saying the opposite of

what he intended:-)

>

> Oh the perils of internet!

>

> I have also had male therapists, and also GPs in the years before they worried

about being sued if they weren't chaperoned when doing examinations - I was

going to say body searches but that's not the right expression, is it :-)

>

> I have never had any problem with sexual attraction ie feeling attracted

getting in the way of therapy. I think often the danger is more one of What if

he thinks I think he thinks I think ..... In other words anxiety resulting from

excessive What iffing.

>

> I have had piano lessons with a male teacher for years now and am not

attracted to him (happily married) but yesterday when we were playing a duet I

had one of those awful intrusive thoughts: What if I lost control and kissed

him? I had absolutely no desire to - it was just one of those unwanted thoughts

that pop up just as the result of being a human. OCD is fed by paying such

anxieties more attention than they deserve. Asking yourself for example What

does having this thought mean about me? I am glad to say I did no self-analysis

at all but just said Oh, no there I go again smiling to myself as I have learnt

(eventually) to do with CBT and continued playing. I suppose the comparable ACT

reaction might be to say Thank you mind!

>

> I got the impression that the original poster (E.?) on this topic about how to

react when seeing their therapist in public was really dealing with a " wouldn't

it be awful if " situation and more a " getting anxious about becoming anxious "

problem which is so common when you analyse your thoughts.

>

> S.

>