a story for Toni

[Guest guest]

Hi Toni and All:

Am going to share some personal events out of respect for the growth I see

in your post. I don't like to share personally, but this is a real effort

for us to find answers.

On 18 August 1999, Gerry Eitner and I produced a concert for peace at the

Washington Monument. It was hot as blazes, close to 100d and the entire area

was in a serious drought. Reagan, an opera singer, came to pick me up as

I'd been ill and said, " oh my God, your house is like the garden of Eden it

is so green! "

I responded, " of course, it's green, we live in the jungles of Virginia,

surrounded by water and everything is green. "

She looked shocked and said, " you really haven't been out, have you? We're

in a drought. " We were less than a mile from my house when I saw that

everything was brown, brown, brown. (Perhaps I should have worked to extend

the

meditations of light further in circumference.)

At my house, it rained every day for twenty minutes all summer, and I had

assumed that it had done so all over DC but I was wrong, it was only just the

area around my house on Bull Run Mountain.

I had been meditating there for seven years. It was an oasis of peace.

That night I came home from the concert and meditated as I did every morning

and every night, and I asked the ArchAngels to help me pour light on the

earth and I visualized the globe. Every place took light. Every place but in

DC there was a dark spot. So, I zoomed in, and the dark spot was the

Pentagon. And, then I saw the Pentagon bombed.

I told both Gerry and about the bombing the next day - it was two years

before 9-11. It scared me to death. My meditations have scared me in the

past (like when my third eye opened in my early 20s and I knew no one who

meditated and I instantly stopped sure that I was the weirdest person on the

planet).

Anyway, I decided it was time to bring the kundalini down. I remember Alice

posting then to " hold a potato, " although I did not post my vision because

I believe Mike and I were in a debate then about whether I should do a Travel

of the Sacred Tree in a fashion that he believed was dangerous. I do

remember he said, " if Samten says you must stop then you must. " I said, " fine,

I

will honor his wishes. " Samten said, " go, I will hold you to ground ... it

was a very, very beautiful travel. "

Anyway, afterwards I did decide to bring down the energies as the last

travel I had dedicated to the planet and I said, " enough is enough. " What

finally

did work was to have a glass of wine every night for five months. Alcohol

kills kundalini. (Nicotine does not.)

I didn't tell anyone else about the vision because I thought I was crazy

(and I'm sure my friends, Gerry and , wondered as well).

Twice I have been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Twice the illness has

completely vanished with meditation. Thrice I've been ill when I stop

meditating, the third time is now. And, so, I know I must begin meditating

again.

It is difficult because I live in the normal world, not in a monastery, and

so, I must walk around and deal with reality while being in bliss, it's very

weird and I have no one to help guide me and tell me how to do this. The

teachers I have had are more often in seclusion and in monastic situations where

it is far easier to be in this condition. One is constantly and solely and

only in the here and now. Planning is useless. And, although I was born

with enormous faith in the divine, I lack faith and self-confidence in myself.

So, I cannot with conviction go to someone with my vision(s). I also feel

very weird walking around blissed out and then I'm smiling all the time and I

wonder what people must think of this woman walking around smiling all the

time (also my brown eyes turn green).

And, I have a duty to be a good mother to my young son. So, I felt that it

was my job to shut down the energies and be normal for him. But, it doesn't

work, I grow seriously ill, things fall out of harmony and I have no choice

but to return to the meditation.

Anyway, the point of all of this is that I know for sure that meditation

creates peace around oneself and in one's environment.

And, as I'm in the nation's capital now that I've moved, perhaps that is my

job.

I also know that in a previous life (the most recent one) I did not speak

out when I should have because I was a woman then too. And, so, one of my most

important karmic lessons is to have the courage to speak to protect myself

and others. I don't have any guilt about the past life, I was in a position

of power, but I was a woman and women had been stripped of power, so, I did

what I could to protect my family. But, I recognize that I must speak my truth

quietly and clearly.

So, I put this out here with trepidation as I don't like sharing so

personally but it is in respect for the enormous work you've done, Toni. I'm

truly

impressed. And, maybe someone has some answers for us and/or for me.

I've another story for Alice on the ArchAngel of astrology which I'll write

up another day.

Much Love,

Annette