Guest guest Posted July 3, 2007 Report Share Posted July 3, 2007 Hi, Courage, I wish I had some great advice to give you on this horrific situation. I don't even know what to say - except your sister is an idiot. I can't even imagine how frustrated you must feel. I will continue to hope that somehow your sister will come around to see things your way. She obviously doesn't know how much expertise you have on the subject of meds - again, she is an idiot. Always remember we are here. Please come here to vent as much as you need to - you can scream your fingers off at us! Sending you lots of love and big hugs, Piper ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 3, 2007 Report Share Posted July 3, 2007 oh courage, bleeeeeech. i'm soooooooo sorry. big love, anna --- gaat17 wrote: > Hi All, > > Here's the latest in this family soap opera. I've > been sending out emails and talking to two of my > brothers about how I feel. Have had mixed results - > one is at least open to talking about my concerns. > Anyway, the long and the short of it is that my > sister has stated in no uncertain terms that while > we (meaning me!) may question her decision all we > (I) want it is final. So mom's got to remain higher > than a kite - her pupils are always constricted > which is a sure sign of too much opioid in the blood > stream and/or overdose - and this is probably going > to carry her off very soon. > > Let me tell you how stupid I am. I actually > swallowed my pride today and sent an email to all my > siblings - including my sister - and explained that > mom was indeed taking an opioid (endocet) in the > past for pain (my sister said mom was only being > given tylenol) and that dilaudid was a stronger > opioid which would only make mom's chronic > constipation and excessive sweating worse. Sure > she's not in pain right now but that's because she > is circling the cosmos shes so high! If my sister > is going to insist that that doctor up mom's meds > the least she could have done was to find out what > meds she was taking and realize that both these meds > (endocet and dilaudid) are opioids... > My sister said that mom has been in severe pain > for the last 4 months with muscle spasms (this is > the first I'm ever hearing of this) and that mom has > excessive sweating at night and that I paid no > attention to this. Nothing can be done for the > sweating (believe me I've researched it all) and we > already have mom on max dose of HRT patch which she > shouldn't even be taking. As for the muscle spasms > she is no longer taking any meds for Parkinsons and > that's why we went with endocet to combat this pain. > Ok, now wait for it.....this is where the real laugh > comes in......I went on to say that they must have > had some faith in my ability to oversee mom's meds > and health issues since they left it up to me for > the last 7 years and that I'd like to have mom's POA > for health because I could have at least talked the > doctor into lowering the dose if not getting her off > this med all together. Are you rolling on the floor > yet? Stupid me, my parents signed over everything > to her and I remember our even discussing my having > POA for health and my not thinking this was > important because I didnt' think she and I would > disagree over meds...... My sister didn't even > bother to respond to me. > Believe me, if I could kick my own ass I > would.....and how. Well, so much for talking to the > doctor and so much for talking to my brothers. I > have no choice now but to accept what is going on. > Poor mom and stupid me. Reaching for my ativan. > Courage > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____Ready for the edge of your seat? Check out tonight's top picks on Yahoo! TV. http://tv.yahoo.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 3, 2007 Report Share Posted July 3, 2007 Dear Courage, I feel so bad for you. Please just know that your not alone with these types of problems. The hardest part of taking care of my mom is the rest of my family. Not to go into it but believe me can I ever relate.Please know that theres people out here that care and relate to you. You are named appropriately. God bless Ron gaat17 wrote: Hi All, Here's the latest in this family soap opera. I've been sending out emails and talking to two of my brothers about how I feel. Have had mixed results - one is at least open to talking about my concerns. Anyway, the long and the short of it is that my sister has stated in no uncertain terms that while we (meaning me!) may question her decision all we (I) want it is final. So mom's got to remain higher than a kite - her pupils are always constricted which is a sure sign of too much opioid in the blood stream and/or overdose - and this is probably going to carry her off very soon. Let me tell you how stupid I am. I actually swallowed my pride today and sent an email to all my siblings - including my sister - and explained that mom was indeed taking an opioid (endocet) in the past for pain (my sister said mom was only being given tylenol) and that dilaudid was a stronger opioid which would only make mom's chronic constipation and excessive sweating worse. Sure she's not in pain right now but that's because she is circling the cosmos shes so high! If my sister is going to insist that that doctor up mom's meds the least she could have done was to find out what meds she was taking and realize that both these meds (endocet and dilaudid) are opioids... My sister said that mom has been in severe pain for the last 4 months with muscle spasms (this is the first I'm ever hearing of this) and that mom has excessive sweating at night and that I paid no attention to this. Nothing can be done for the sweating (believe me I've researched it all) and we already have mom on max dose of HRT patch which she shouldn't even be taking. As for the muscle spasms she is no longer taking any meds for Parkinsons and that's why we went with endocet to combat this pain. Ok, now wait for it.....this is where the real laugh comes in......I went on to say that they must have had some faith in my ability to oversee mom's meds and health issues since they left it up to me for the last 7 years and that I'd like to have mom's POA for health because I could have at least talked the doctor into lowering the dose if not getting her off this med all together. Are you rolling on the floor yet? Stupid me, my parents signed over everything to her and I remember our even discussing my having POA for health and my not thinking this was important because I didnt' think she and I would disagree over meds...... My sister didn't even bother to respond to me. Believe me, if I could kick my own ass I would.....and how. Well, so much for talking to the doctor and so much for talking to my brothers. I have no choice now but to accept what is going on. Poor mom and stupid me. Reaching for my ativan. Courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2007 Report Share Posted July 6, 2007 Courage, i really wish i had an answer or some words of wisdom for you to help ease or combat this situation. I know every family has either a complete ass who joins in the caregiving near the end when they've never contributed to any of the caregiving or someone who is so afraid of losing their LO that they bury their head in the sand like an ostrich hoping it will all go away. Your sister appears to want power but none of the responsibility that goes along with it. I'm sorry to say but your sister sounds like a complete fruit cake!! If she believes that your mom will pass on saturday then she believes in good omens as these dates are supposed to represent this, not death. my wicked side comes out while thinking of her. Have you ever thought of putting pen to paper and documenting your journey, i know, i know...it sounds a lot what with already writing to us but i'm thinking that on days ahead when all of this is over you can look back on what you achieved for both your parents, look at decisions you have made and leave a piece of history for your grandchildren. They will be able to see the real strengh you possess and how you coped with organising their mother's wedding, their births, both your parents, your dad's passing and of course in the future your moms. Your story and great knowledge of this disease could also help other people and be cathartic to you. As i 've said to you many times, don't live in her head or even try to instead realise what you achieved and you'll be the one who will look back and say, i gave it my all and no one else could have or would have done that, i know it's not about glory but a sense of being a truly compassionate human being, which you are!! Sorry i tend to rabble when i'm pissed at someone. .xxxxx Decision is final Hi All, Here's the latest in this family soap opera. I've been sending out emails and talking to two of my brothers about how I feel. Have had mixed results - one is at least open to talking about my concerns. Anyway, the long and the short of it is that my sister has stated in no uncertain terms that while we (meaning me!) may question her decision all we (I) want it is final. So mom's got to remain higher than a kite - her pupils are always constricted which is a sure sign of too much opioid in the blood stream and/or overdose - and this is probably going to carry her off very soon. Let me tell you how stupid I am. I actually swallowed my pride today and sent an email to all my siblings - including my sister - and explained that mom was indeed taking an opioid (endocet) in the past for pain (my sister said mom was only being given tylenol) and that dilaudid was a stronger opioid which would only make mom's chronic constipation and excessive sweating worse. Sure she's not in pain right now but that's because she is circling the cosmos shes so high! If my sister is going to insist that that doctor up mom's meds the least she could have done was to find out what meds she was taking and realize that both these meds (endocet and dilaudid) are opioids... My sister said that mom has been in severe pain for the last 4 months with muscle spasms (this is the first I'm ever hearing of this) and that mom has excessive sweating at night and that I paid no attention to this. Nothing can be done for the sweating (believe me I've researched it all) and we already have mom on max dose of HRT patch which she shouldn't even be taking. As for the muscle spasms she is no longer taking any meds for Parkinsons and that's why we went with endocet to combat this pain. Ok, now wait for it.....this is where the real laugh comes in......I went on to say that they must have had some faith in my ability to oversee mom's meds and health issues since they left it up to me for the last 7 years and that I'd like to have mom's POA for health because I could have at least talked the doctor into lowering the dose if not getting her off this med all together. Are you rolling on the floor yet? Stupid me, my parents signed over everything to her and I remember our even discussing my having POA for health and my not thinking this was important because I didnt' think she and I would disagree over meds...... My sister didn't even bother to respond to me. Believe me, if I could kick my own ass I would.....and how. Well, so much for talking to the doctor and so much for talking to my brothers. I have no choice now but to accept what is going on. Poor mom and stupid me. Reaching for my ativan. Courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2007 Report Share Posted July 8, 2007 Dear Courage, i almost peed my pants at the thought of her writing a self help book!!! Now that i would need to see. You don't need to write the book....I WILL, i'll ghost write it and use another name, fill it with inuendos, that way she won't be mentioned but she'll know it's her and won't be able to prove it!!! It'll drive her potty...lol... .xx P.S. she must have one of those 'Oh god i'm wonderful' mirrors she looks in every morning, you know like in snow white!! Re: Decision is final , Once again you have me smiling. About possibly writing a book I don't think that I could. My sister, a lawyer, would probably sue me for using my mom's name and block the publishing/selling even if I did write it. Did I mention that she wrote a self-help book and actually got a publisher interested in it - talk about someone who needs a library full of these books herself. I'm not sure what its about, perhaps LBD, I'm sure the 13th chapter deals with getting in touch with your power-tripping self and how to play God. She's all into this " The Secret " stuff and manifesting, which to me is quite an old concept expect it was called the power of positive thinking, so I'm sure she'll have a bit about how to manifest the quick demise of your parent so that you can then manifest the purchase of your new condo! (Ok, now I'm being mean! but heck I have to blow off steam some way). Courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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