Guest guest Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Waves hi! Nan-bipolar I, mania main feature Jay-Aspie, diagnosed this year. Yeah, nuttin' but a party at our home.....lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 > Just wondering, can those of you that are in a relationship with one person being Bipolar and the other with Aspergers, make yourselves known to me? > > I'm the Aspie. My (now late) husband was the Bipolar. We were both ignorant of my diagnosis during the 20 years we were married, and that ignorance lead to all sorts of misunderstandings about my character and commitment to the relationship. For my husband, the cumulative stresses finally awakened the predisposition for Bipolar Disorder that was sleeping quietly in his genes. He was diagnosed (with Bipolar II) only in the final years of his life. Best, ~CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Hi Cj, I am with Helen on this one, but differ slightly. My bipolar has always been in my, genetically. I was very fizzy when young, and Jon and I were attracted to eachother, precisely because of the differences. I don't think you should blame yourself too much. I suspect that the relationship troubles have something to do with worsening my Bipolar, however, I chose Jon, and love him greatly. Had I not met him, other relationship troubles may well have occurred with another man, aspie or not. That's just how life pans out. Obviously your husband loved you a lot when with you, and his intensity may well have triggered you to withdraw at times. I know Jon has this trouble when I am very manic and buzzy, because it hurts and confuses him! So we're learning to work around our vast differences. I am just sad that others don't always get the chance to do this, in knowledge, because its so effing hard to get either disorder diagnosed. That doesn't mean you brought it out in him, he may well have had it anyway. Mine was mainly triggered by my crazy upbringing! Yes my relationship troubles didn't help, but equally that could be my fault for having this silly illness in me, as much as it is in Jon for being aspie. Fundamentally, had you developed cancer or another highly stressful illness, and that triggered his BP, then I expect you wouldn't be blaming yourself half as much, because it's something that can't be helped. Well I view Aspieness and Bipolar as being in the same camp. It's largely genetic, with a dose of social/nurture in there, but it just can't be helped. It's a case of two very extreme personality and development conditions. And you can't blame a person for that, just as you wouldn't blame a person for Dyslexia or having Downs Syndrome or similar. They're all really different, but it's not the persons fault, it's just the way the cards fall. I like 's answer to another current thread around trust in a relationship, about knowing that you are a freak, and being ok with it. I know I am not normal, and I do call myself a freak - some people might not be comfortable with that specific label, but it's essentially accepting yourself for who you are and embracing it. People with sever disfigurements have to, of having Diabetes and going weird at times and acting like a drunk when it's hard to control the illness. I think we're all freaks, and the normal people, frankly are bland and the abnormal ones! Like at the opticians, I found out I have a double astigmatism. The optician said 'oh, don't worry, it's a common abnormality, around 80% of people have it.' To which I asked 'If 80% have it, why is that not the 'norm' and the people who don't have it classed as the freaks?' Simples! Looking to hear from any more people who have the bipolar and aspie mix and also what other chatrooms/forums they may be lurking, please! > > Just wondering, can those of you that are in a relationship with one person being Bipolar and the other with Aspergers, make yourselves known to me? > > > > > > I'm the Aspie. My (now late) husband was the Bipolar. > > We were both ignorant of my diagnosis during the 20 years we were > married, and that ignorance lead to all sorts of misunderstandings about > my character and commitment to the relationship. For my husband, the > cumulative stresses finally awakened the predisposition for Bipolar > Disorder that was sleeping quietly in his genes. He was diagnosed (with > Bipolar II) only in the final years of his life. > > Best, > ~CJ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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