Guest guest Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 oh maggie, i can so relate, getting dad to shower before hospice came was looking moving the earth out of the solar system. sounds like you do have an agenda going but i was thinking about a few more things, do you have handicapped ralilings in teh shower, we had our bathroom totally handicapped accessbile for dad, we had railings put in on all 3 walls of the tub/shower, i replaced the shower rod which dad was tall adn reached up instead of down, so i had it replaced with a steel rod and had it bolted into teh studs so he could hold wiht his entire weight and it wont move. we also had a raling put by the toilet high towards the end of the seat to hold onto while going down adn lower towards the back wall to help when getting up. i also used lavendar scented shampoos and soaps, granted dad was thrilled when he saw the lavendar scent on teh bottle but when donnie said he used it , it was ok then, also the bathroom had ralings or towel racks secured in studs on both sides of the bathrrom walls so he could grab one then the other, their eyesight which is depth perception is frequetly effected, as was dads, he would miss the table and have glasses half on teh table and halt if it a miracle we didnt break more glasses and plates. we also played some of dads favorite music when he was in teh shower. or i would 'serenade ' him with my singsong, i would sing i am dreaming of a white christmas and change ti to i am dreaming of a purple christmas as it is my fav color. or we would sing you are my sunshine my only sunshine to each ohter, dad would calm down then often. with their eyes they cannot tell where the bathroom walls are, make her feel secure, put her hand on the rails or on the wall, give her something to hold on to, becuase the depth perception is so affected they cant tell how far anyting is, and that is scary, i found covering one eye and walking dads route opened my eyes to things taht would distress him. for example, dad went from rug to floor and he was always scared to step onto teh floor, like it was going to swallow him up. so i bought some room size carpet and cut it to fit our hallway so dad had a path to follow, footing that felt good to him under his walker and feet. i had donnie take doors off the hinges to give dad more room to walk with or without his walker with out banging into walls. that always upset him when he couldnt go straight and dad was a righty leaner and would always fall to the right 99.9% of the time. he would lean to teh right,. as soon as he felt comfortable with all teh handicapped ralis that helped his anxiety. i am not sure if this will help but i wanted to share you never know, try singing this is teh way, you know this is the way we wash our clothes, but adapt it to the shower, this is the way we wash our hair wash our hair wash our hair, this is theway we rinse our hair, maybe if you it as you do it, may relax her and then she hears waht you are doing, remembver their minds are going back in time alot, like daddy saying to me, dont you rememver when i changed your diapers yesterday and now you are wiping my butt for me today. i was 44 at teh time, so yesterday was 43 years ago. but to him it was yesteryda, that is how i figured out nursery rhtmes and songs like that worked well as daddy would go back in time like he was taking care of me. good luck and hugs, sharon ---- M Sumner wrote: Doris, Thank you so much for trying to help. But as you must already know, when you speak to someone with LEWY BODY DEMENTIA, as my mother has, one minute she is with me mentally, next minute she is almost in another planet. Having been living with me 1 1/2 year she still gets lost going to the bathroom which is accross from her bedroom. She tells me she already brushed her teeth when in fact she has not and her tooth brush is bone dry. At the same time they are tricky, maybe on purpose or maybe because they do not know better and same thing with washing her hands. If i gave her option to take shower or sponge bath and she could actually understand what the meaning of the question is, she would pick sponge bath and never take a shower again, at the same time, shower is a much better option, i feel she is much more cleaner and she actually admits after the shower, she is more relaxed, i got to keep trying, and easier to wash her hair. I even have a shower pick handle " thingy " and i let her hold it and rinse herself to make it more fun. I also bought her something they use for bottom of feet when she gets a pedicure so she can scrub her heel. Trust me i am trying everything. Every little bit of idea helps me closer to finding the answer and at the end, and when i find the answer i will share with everyone, because as far as people tell me, Dementia or not this is a big battle with older people. It is so very sad and heart breaking to see our loved ones decline little by little in front of us. Not to mention medicine one day has her awake almost 24 hours and other days it makes her sleepy and she takes same medication every day. Like her doctor says this is a rollacoaster ride. Take care, thank you so much Maggie --- DORIS KARATOPRAK wrote: > Hi Maggie, > > I don't often respond to messages, but when I was > reading yours I had an idea. > > Do you think that if you gave your mom a choice re > cleaning, ie > " Mom would you like to take a shower, have a bath or > a sponge bath? " Or narrow it down to two choices, > if that's better, that maybe she would choose one of > them? There may be a fear of the shower or water > that is making her refuse to take a shower. > > Just an idea. Doris in Canada > > M Sumner wrote: > Sharon, > > Thank you so much. You are full of good > information. > > This week i've been lucky, no mention of > the many husbands she spoke about last week. > I did do as you say and changed the topic, but > she would not move on with me. This week > is all together different, we had an all out > war about taking a shower, she almost left > the bathroom totally in the nude and almost > threw up when i mentioned shower...Whew!!! > like the doctor tells me sometimes, this > is a rollacoaster ride, dealing with dementia. > > The problem last week is when the hallucination > becomes so vivid for them, they are out to war > with you if you disagree. > > You are so kind and i thank you for all the many > times you have come to my rescue. > > Hug > > Maggie > > --- LadySmilingAtU2@... wrote: > > > maggie, > > daddy had many times he was adamant about > something, > > and after talking ot his hospice nurse, i had come > > to this conclusion, does it hurt him to think what > > he is thinking, does it jeopardize his well being, > > if the answer was no, then i didnt argue with him, > > > if teh answer was yes, i would say no dad you cant > > go for a drive right now and come up with some > > reason, donnie has to take the car to get teh oil > > changed. only if i belived it would cause him pain > > would i arge with him, otherwise i basically went > > along with him, oh dad you talked to grandpa today > > * grandpa died in 88. * i figured it iddnt hurt > dad > > to agree with him and i asked waht grandpa said, > he > > would say he told the story about his sailign ship > > days. i learned to pick and chose my argumetng.s > > dad yes you have to take a shower you arent clean, > > > or dad you cant drive teh car today donnie is > fixing > > it, etc, it isnt worth stressing yourself out, > > what i would do is just say oh really, i didnt > know > > that, maybe when he comes you can introduce me and > > then try to discreetly change the subject, mom > > would you like a drink or a snack, etc. good luck > > sharon > > ---- M Sumner wrote: > > Sharon, > > > > Thank you for that bit of information. > > My mother had had some wild days, i have no clue > > what is going on, but wanted to share and see > > if anyone has experienced this. > > > > For an entire week now, everytime my mother > > sees a magazine or book, that has a picture of a > man > > she will claim she is married to that person and > > that > > person is outside the front door waiting to take > her > > away and has tried to leave, 1st day 30 times, > > second > > day 3 times, today only talked about it. So far > > this week she was married to Rock Hudson, (I told > > her mother, Rock Hudson is not only dead, he > > likes men, she laughed like crazy and said i was > > crazy myself that he is her husband. LOL. Also > > claims she is married to Dr Phil and Oprah s > trainer > > Mr. Green forget the first name at the moment. She > > never did this before this is very new. You have > to > > laugh or it might make you cry. > > > > Please share if you have similar story, or any > > suggestion if she does it again this week. > > > > Maggie > > --- LadySmilingAtU2@... wrote: > > > > > yes you are so right but we got the lawyer to > meet > > > dad on a good lbd day and when it came time for > > dad > > > to sign the paperwork dad had a bad lbd day, but > > the > > > lawyer said he was comfortable with dad signing > > hte > > > paperwork as he had spoken to dad several times > > and > > > knew what dad said he wanted. we got lucky and > > just > > > under the gun. hugs, sharon > > > ---- ljrob09 wrote: > > > Regarding durable power of attorney: > > > > > > I was under the impression that you had to be of > > > " sound mind " to > > > create these legal documents. Once someone is > > > cognitively impaired > > > and cannot understand the implications of what > > they > > > are committing > > > to, I do not believe that a lawyer or notary > would > > > allow the document > > > to be created. At that point, I think you would > > > have to get a court > > > to appoint you guardian and declare the person > > > incompetent. > > > > > > I'm not a lawyer, that is just my general > > > impression. Maybe someone > > > else knows better. > > > > > > > > > Daughter of Bill, 91 > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Maggie > > > > > > > > > > > > I have DPOA for my mom. I am not sure if > you > > > do > > > > > not, > > > > > > but we are selling her home. Escrow closes > > > next > > > > > > week. > > > > > > I have been signing most of her documents > > this > > > > > way: > > > > > > Margaret L. by Dena J. Leavitt, her > > > > > attorney > === message truncated === ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles. Visit the Yahoo! Auto Green Center. http://autos.yahoo.com/green_center/ -- I am daugher of Leonard, diagnosed May 2004, probably had lbd since 1993,.Dad had a serious fall in 7/05 causing him to hav hip surgery .After that he developed aspiration pneumonia 7/05 with pulmonary embolyis, which he almost died from. He had a 2nd bout of aspiration pneumonia and uti 8/05. He died when his blood pressure fluctuations started dropping without coming back up on 9/25/05, may he rest in peace with his mom and dad, a smile a day keeps the meanies away Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 Sharon, Those are fantastic ideas, love them and i will try them tomorrow. Here is an update on something that did work for me today. -Time out-. Wanted her brush her teeth this morning and she said as usual NO, i already brushed them, so i show her tooth brush dry that means we have to brush, she then in a threatening way said i am going to go to bed. (meaning i am not going to brush). I took a deep breath gave her a time out and let her go to sleep for 20 minutes, came back as if we never spoke about brushing and asked her very nicely, how about we brush your teeth so that we can have breakfast and she agreed. Brushes too fast but somedays i re-brush them for her. WHEW!!!! Will try the singing but time out worked Yippy Thank you, stay in touch. Maggie --- LadySmilingAtU2@... wrote: > oh maggie, > i can so relate, getting dad to shower before > hospice came was looking moving the earth out of the > solar system. > sounds like you do have an agenda going but i was > thinking about a few more things, > do you have handicapped ralilings in teh shower, we > had our bathroom totally handicapped accessbile for > dad, we had railings put in on all 3 walls of the > tub/shower, i replaced the shower rod which dad was > tall adn reached up instead of down, so i had it > replaced with a steel rod and had it bolted into teh > studs so he could hold wiht his entire weight and it > wont move. we also had a raling put by the toilet > high towards the end of the seat to hold onto while > going down adn lower towards the back wall to help > when getting up. i also used lavendar scented > shampoos and soaps, granted dad was thrilled when > he saw the lavendar scent on teh bottle but when > donnie said he used it , it was ok then, also the > bathroom had ralings or towel racks secured in studs > on both sides of the bathrrom walls so he could > grab one then the other, their eyesight which is > depth perception is frequetly effected, as was > dads, he would miss the table and have glasses half > on teh table and halt if it a miracle we didnt break > more glasses and plates. we also played some of > dads favorite music when he was in teh shower. or i > would 'serenade ' him with my singsong, i would > sing i am dreaming of a white christmas and change > ti to i am dreaming of a purple christmas as it is > my fav color. or we would sing you are my sunshine > my only sunshine to each ohter, dad would calm down > then often. with their eyes they cannot tell where > the bathroom walls are, make her feel secure, put > her hand on the rails or on the wall, give her > something to hold on to, becuase the depth > perception is so affected they cant tell how far > anyting is, and that is scary, i found covering one > eye and walking dads route opened my eyes to things > taht would distress him. for example, dad went > from rug to floor and he was always scared to step > onto teh floor, like it was going to swallow him > up. so i bought some room size carpet and cut it to > fit our hallway so dad had a path to follow, > footing that felt good to him under his walker and > feet. i had donnie take doors off the hinges to > give dad more room to walk with or without his > walker with out banging into walls. that always > upset him when he couldnt go straight and dad was a > righty leaner and would always fall to the right > 99.9% of the time. he would lean to teh right,. as > soon as he felt comfortable with all teh handicapped > ralis that helped his anxiety. i am not sure if > this will help but i wanted to share you never know, > try singing this is teh way, > you know this is the way we wash our clothes, but > adapt it to the shower, this is the way we wash our > hair wash our hair wash our hair, this is theway we > rinse our hair, maybe if you it as you do it, may > relax her and then she hears waht you are doing, > remembver their minds are going back in time alot, > like daddy saying to me, dont you rememver when i > changed your diapers yesterday and now you are > wiping my butt for me today. i was 44 at teh time, > so yesterday was 43 years ago. but to him it was > yesteryda, that is how i figured out nursery rhtmes > and songs like that worked well as daddy would go > back in time like he was taking care of me. good > luck and hugs, sharon > ---- M Sumner wrote: > Doris, > > Thank you so much for trying to help. But as > you must already know, when you speak to someone > with LEWY BODY DEMENTIA, as my mother has, one > minute she is with me mentally, next minute she > is almost in another planet. Having been living > with me 1 1/2 year she still gets lost going to > the bathroom which is accross from her bedroom. She > tells me she already brushed her teeth when in > fact she has not and her tooth brush is bone dry. > At the same time they are tricky, maybe on purpose > or maybe because they do not know better and same > thing with washing her hands. > > If i gave her option to take shower or sponge bath > and she could actually understand what the meaning > of the question is, she would pick sponge bath > and never take a shower again, at the same time, > shower is a much better option, i feel she is > much more cleaner and she actually admits after > the shower, she is more relaxed, i got to keep > trying, and easier to wash her hair. I even > have a shower pick handle " thingy " and i let her > hold > it and rinse herself to make it more fun. I also > bought her something they use for bottom of feet > when she gets a pedicure so she can scrub her heel. > Trust me i am trying everything. > > > Every little bit of idea helps me closer to finding > the answer and at the end, and when i find the > answer > i will share with everyone, because as far as people > tell me, Dementia or not this is a big battle with > older people. > > It is so very sad and heart breaking to see our > loved ones decline little by little in front of us. > Not to mention medicine one day has her awake > almost 24 hours and other days it makes her sleepy > and she takes same medication every day. > > Like her doctor says this is a rollacoaster ride. > > > > Take care, thank you so much > Maggie > > > > --- DORIS KARATOPRAK wrote: > > > Hi Maggie, > > > > I don't often respond to messages, but when I > was > > reading yours I had an idea. > > > > Do you think that if you gave your mom a choice > re > > cleaning, ie > > " Mom would you like to take a shower, have a bath > or > > a sponge bath? " Or narrow it down to two choices, > > if that's better, that maybe she would choose one > of > > them? There may be a fear of the shower or water > > that is making her refuse to take a shower. > > > > Just an idea. Doris in Canada > > > > M Sumner wrote: > > Sharon, > > > > Thank you so much. You are full of good > > information. > > > > This week i've been lucky, no mention of > > the many husbands she spoke about last week. > > I did do as you say and changed the topic, but > > she would not move on with me. This week > > is all together different, we had an all out > > war about taking a shower, she almost left > > the bathroom totally in the nude and almost > > threw up when i mentioned shower...Whew!!! > > like the doctor tells me sometimes, this > > is a rollacoaster ride, dealing with dementia. > > > > The problem last week is when the hallucination > > becomes so vivid for them, they are out to war > > with you if you disagree. > > > > You are so kind and i thank you for all the many > > times you have come to my rescue. > > > > Hug > > > > Maggie > > > > --- LadySmilingAtU2@... wrote: > > > > > maggie, > > > daddy had many times he was adamant about > > something, > > > and after talking ot his hospice nurse, i had > come > > > to this conclusion, does it hurt him to think > what > > > he is thinking, does it jeopardize his well > being, > > > if the answer was no, then i didnt argue with > him, > > > > > if teh answer was yes, i would say no dad you > cant > > > go for a drive right now and come up with some > > > reason, donnie has to take the car to get teh > oil > > > changed. only if i belived it would cause him > pain > > > would i arge with him, otherwise i basically > went > > > along with him, oh dad you talked to grandpa > today > > > * grandpa died in 88. * i figured it iddnt hurt > > dad > > > to agree with him and i asked waht grandpa said, > === message truncated === ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Boardwalk for $500? 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