Need to vent

[Guest guest]

Hi all

I jst got back from a weekend away with some friends, im having trouble

catching up with all the groups emails and i want to reply to so many , you

guys have been so supportive its unbalievable!

I need to vent, i really do. Things at home are just unbarable. I thought it

would have helped for me to get away with my friends for 2 nights. but i feel

like im fell into a hole and im not able to get out. i came back home , my

mother went through a massive espisode, where she started banging on the door,

yelling , crying . I called my sister over to our house thinking it might help

but it actually made the situation turn to the worse. She became soooo

agressive, ive never seen my mother like this before, she hardly ever used to

raise her voice at anyone and always hated and strictly forbade us to use foul

language when we were younger , its so hard for me to see he do all these htings

and pointing them towards me and my sister.

Well i tried to leave the house to go to my sisters, but my mother became even

more histerical at the fact that we both left the house ( although we told her

to come and she refusd because she was on hate mode and was actually asking us

to leave). I ended up going back home, i locked myself in my room and logged on

..

I feel like im letting go, it kills me to say this , but i cant handle it ,

shes my mother and i love her, but it is getting impossible. I consider myself

to have a strong personality and very patient. But this is getting me on the

verge of breakdown in that i cannot physically or emotionally handle it

anymore. Nor do i have a heart to put her to a nursing home because the ones we

have are in terrible shape and i know thats he wouldnt be well taken care of-

unlike abroad sinve LBD is not common.

I am meeting with a nurse tomorrow who is plannig to come 9 -6 everyday, she

is also going to refer me to a local neurologist who she spoke really highly

of and who is willing to make house visits and correspods with my mothers

neurologist in the states.

I can barely think straught anymore , i cannot focus, i dont have time for

therapy, i thought about anti depressant pills, but im really not confotable

with taking pills, i dont know why , i got so used to not taking medicine ....

This is just a bad day i guess

Thanks for reading