Dad goes into care today

[Guest guest]

Hello All,

I have been trying to get on the list but kept getting bounced off for

days now.

I found out yesterday through two of my brothers that dad is going into

care today. Dad will be on the same floor as mom but on the other

wing. He only has to cross through the hall and he can be with mom full

time now. I feel sad and relieved. Sad that dad has to leave his home,

change his life but very relieved that there will be eyes on him now and

perhaps he might even consent to take his meds properly.

My brothers came by last night to drop off my mom and dad's sofa and

chair. This set was in the parlor so no one was allowed to sit on it as

mom said that we 5 children were a horror on her furniture. It is so

weird having it in my home now and using it. Even though mom and dad

bought this set over 15 years ago it is still new and the cushions are

so stiff that when you sit on it you darned near get bounced off again.

Did I mention that it is a dusty rose colour and one of those diamond

backed faux antique looking things? So not my style.......Anyway, why

am I going on and on about this sofa??????

I want to go see dad tonight - I'd go during the day but since I mind

and she cries her eyes out everytime we take her to the LTCF I

though tonight would be best. The only problem is that I don't know if

my sister will be there. I saw my dad last wednesday when I dropped in

to see mom for a minute and while I know that he knows my sister and I

are on the outs and he is likely to take her side he wasn't mean to me.

Don't know what to do????

Courage

[Guest guest]

Courage,

You need to visit your dad. This is will to be ongoing, so go for it. The

sooner you and

your sister confront each other, the less stress you will live with around that

initial

meeting. Could you greet her with open arms to break the silence, or with a

request to go

somewhere to talk? You know I understand. My estrangement is long distance so

less

impactful with day to day life. With your sister so near and your dad now in

care too, the

meeting is bound to happen, and hopefully for the better for you all once it

takes place.

Estrangement is hard on the whole family.

Please keep in touch as to how you deal with this. I am with you.

How good both your parents are in the same facility! Once you overcome this

hurdle

visiting both will be so much easier. Plus hopefully your dad will be with your

mom often,

causing more peace of mind about her. I bet will be allowed to use the

sofa in your

home!

>

> Hello All,

>

> I have been trying to get on the list but kept getting bounced off for

> days now.

>

> I found out yesterday through two of my brothers that dad is going into

> care today. Dad will be on the same floor as mom but on the other

> wing. He only has to cross through the hall and he can be with mom full

> time now. I feel sad and relieved. Sad that dad has to leave his home,

> change his life but very relieved that there will be eyes on him now and

> perhaps he might even consent to take his meds properly.

>

> My brothers came by last night to drop off my mom and dad's sofa and

> chair. This set was in the parlor so no one was allowed to sit on it as

> mom said that we 5 children were a horror on her furniture. It is so

> weird having it in my home now and using it. Even though mom and dad

> bought this set over 15 years ago it is still new and the cushions are

> so stiff that when you sit on it you darned near get bounced off again.

> Did I mention that it is a dusty rose colour and one of those diamond

> backed faux antique looking things? So not my style.......Anyway, why

> am I going on and on about this sofa??????

>

> I want to go see dad tonight - I'd go during the day but since I mind

> and she cries her eyes out everytime we take her to the LTCF I

> though tonight would be best. The only problem is that I don't know if

> my sister will be there. I saw my dad last wednesday when I dropped in

> to see mom for a minute and while I know that he knows my sister and I

> are on the outs and he is likely to take her side he wasn't mean to me.

>

> Don't know what to do????

> Courage

>

[Guest guest]

Courage,

Glad the burden of your Dad is falling on other shoulders. And glad he will get

a more consistent life.

Sorry about your sister. Maybe you could go see your Dad when ever you want.

Decide if your sister is there and you don't want to see her, you can go visit

your Mom. Or if she isn't there, but comes later you can leave. You don't have

to decide ahead of time, just what you will do, IF she ends up being there.

Do you have anyone else you can go with, so you won't have to do battle alone?

You can do it anyway you like. You can even not visit him if that is what is

best for you!

Just some thoughts. Good luck and lots of hugs along the way.

Donna R

Do you want to read more about Lewy Body? You can also read the Thistle, the

LBD Newsletter. Just click on:

http://www.lewybodydementia.org

Dad goes into care today