Guest guest Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 One of the things we always check for when behavior changes is a Urinary Track Infection. Does he have a GP you can check with. There are also other meds that can be given to calm the aggression. But it certainly can be a problem. Make sure without his knowledge to hide any thing that can be used as a weapon. Knives, guns, etc. This is not not unheard of. Maybe Jan C can help as she has had some of these problems with Jim. She should be on later. Hugs, Donna R Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in a nh. She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine. False Home Delusion Problems Today 's delusion that we have another home, and we need to go there, is causing very serious problems. This has recently become an almost daily problem. Yesterday we went and did some xeroxing at a copy place, and when we returned home he seemed satisfied that we were indeed home. This morning after breakfast he said he wanted to go shopping, so I got us ready. Just before we were ready to leave he said he wanted to go home and check on his things before going to the store. I tried reminding him that we came home yesterday, but he was adamant that we needed to go home. I suggested going shopping first, and going home afterward. That was not acceptable. Finally, rather than argue, I drove to a nearby landmark he would recognize and drove back here, showing him the street names as we passed them. When we reached our driveway he grabbed the wheel and would not allow me to proceed. He insisted I take him to the real home, our other home. I tried repeating the process, but that didn't work. He became angry, abusive and threatening. He even threatened to kill me and made menacing gestures but obviously did not act upon his threats. I parked in a university parking lot near home and offered to follow his directions to go where he wanted. He didn't know the way. I offered to call his son in CT and have him provide directions " home " or give the address. He didn't agree to that. I offered to call or take him to an old and trusted friend who would know where he lived. He finally agreed to that, but his friend was not home. His second choice for a friend to consult was at home but his phone was busy. I asked if he would be able to recognize his friend's house. I knew he lived near the university football stadium. So when we got there, was unable to direct me to his friend's house. I drove to the law school and found a phone book and got his friend's address. I tried phoning but the line was still busy. I couldn't find the street, and tried calling again and got through. We got directions and visited his friend who helped me calm . could not be convinced, naturally who can argue with someone deep in the throes of a delusion, but finally agreed to return here, even if he won't admit it's home. He let me help him urinate, and make him lunch, but he's still angry with me. He's fallen three times, and barely lets me help him stand up. He has fortunately not injured himself, at least not yet. I know he doesn't want to be hospitalized, and I hope I won't have to call the paramedics. I already had planned to try to make an appointment for him with a neuro-psychiatrist recommended by Geri Hall, and will make that my first priority for Monday. I just hope I can get him to an appointment. I've sent an email to his son asking him to call, and say something loving and supportive. I hope he snaps out of his present state soon. It's not good. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 Kathy, you have written the way my husband has been. I sure hope he doesn't go back to that. I told the Doctor and he upped Don's Zoloft. It has done wonders. My darling is his old self again. He doesn't fight me in the car, nor argue about my driving. He is calm most of the time. I am sure you read my other letter about how dangerous they can be to the caregiver, so I am especially glad that you are going to contact a doctor tomorrow. Be sure to tell the doctor how agitated your husband is. He will be more likely to want to see him soon. Best wishes dear, you need it with all our love too, Imogene Caregiver for my true Texas Gentleman Husband of 37 years. First diagnosed with Alzheimer's by a Neurologist OCT, 2005. But, on May 2, 2006 Dr. Schillerstrom, Geriatric/Psychiatrist diagnosed LBD with Parkinsonism. My precious husband, Don, is taking Zoloft and Razadyne. A happy personality is contagious. Infect someone today. In a message dated 3/8/2008 3:51:08 PM Central Standard Time, kathymjacobs@... writes: Today 's delusion that we have another home, and we need to go there, is causing very serious problems. This has recently become an almost daily problem. Yesterday we went and did some xeroxing at a copy place, and when we returned home he seemed satisfied that we were indeed home. This morning after breakfast he said he wanted to go shopping, so I got us ready. Just before we were ready to leave he said he wanted to go home and check on his things before going to the store. I tried reminding him that we came home yesterday, but he was adamant that we needed to go home. I suggested going shopping first, and going home afterward. That was not acceptable. Finally, rather than argue, I drove to a nearby landmark he would recognize and drove back here, showing him the street names as we passed them. When we reached our driveway he grabbed the wheel and would not allow me to proceed. He insisted I take him to the real home, our other home. I tried repeating the process, but that didn't work. He became angry, abusive and threatening. He even threatened to kill me and made menacing gestures but obviously did not act upon his threats. I parked in a university parking lot near home and offered to follow his directions to go where he wanted. He didn't know the way. I offered to call his son in CT and have him provide directions " home " or give the address. He didn't agree to that. I offered to call or take him to an old and trusted friend who would know where he lived. He finally agreed to that, but his friend was not home. His second choice for a friend to consult was at home but his phone was busy. I asked if he would be able to recognize his friend's house. I knew he lived near the university football stadium. So when we got there, was unable to direct me to his friend's house. I drove to the law school and found a phone book and got his friend's address. I tried phoning but the line was still busy. I couldn't find the street, and tried calling again and got through. We got directions and visited his friend who helped me calm . could not be convinced, naturally who can argue with someone deep in the throes of a delusion, but finally agreed to return here, even if he won't admit it's home. He let me help him urinate, and make him lunch, but he's still angry with me. He's fallen three times, and barely lets me help him stand up. He has fortunately not injured himself, at least not yet. I know he doesn't want to be hospitalized, and I hope I won't have to call the paramedics. I already had planned to try to make an appointment for him with a neuro-psychiatrist recommended by Geri Hall, and will make that my first priority for Monday. I just hope I can get him to an appointment. I've sent an email to his son asking him to call, and say something loving and supportive. I hope he snaps out of his present state soon. It's not good. Kathy Welcome to LBDcaregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 Kathy, Oh so been there, done that! Mom went through a major phase of this - to the point that she would sometimes get up and out of bed in the middle of the night and leave the house (it took her a while to figure out the locks, but she was persistent!), and then go door to door looking for her " real " home - you know, the " other one " - she'd say to me. It got to the point that I would sleep on the floor in front of her bedroom door to make sure I wasn't missing hearing her getting up during the night. It wasn't much longer after this stage that we realized that we just couldn't keep her safe here at home any longer. It wasn't just this - there were a number of factors involved. But long story short was that her ability to be safe at home basically went away - even with my essential 24/7 supervision and intervention. We ended up moving her into a Memory Care assisted living facility - with coded locked doors - series of them, actually. It was such a good thing. Of course, she was young, and spry, and when she would allow me to get her hair done and get her dressed up - folks who were coming to visit other residents would not realize Mom was a resident - and on more than one occasion she slipped out the door seeking " home, " too. Never boring, Lewyville! Blessings, Dina Care Manager to Mom, aged 67 dx'd with LBD 10/2006 Home with the Lord 9/15/07 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 there are several theories of the 'home delusions' one is that your loved one is looking for a home of younger times, he is not his current age is not where he is in his mind it might be 5, 10, 15, or more years ago. this also will cause him not r ecognizing you, he is a dapper man of 30 again and doesnt realize he has spent a life time with you riaising children and possibly grandchildrn, he may even call his gandkids by your childrens names,again he is younger in his mind. there is also a theory that when dementia patients talk about giong home may be following their religious beliefs that heaven is home and they are starting to find teh path to heaven. both theoies are hard on the family, but you need to remember he is just as confused as you are but he doesnt undestand it it his disease. good luck and hugs, sharon p108nky wrote: Today 's delusion that we have another home, and we need to go there, is causing very serious problems. This has recently become an almost daily problem. Yesterday we went and did some xeroxing at a copy place, and when we returned home he seemed satisfied that we were indeed home. This morning after breakfast he said he wanted to go shopping, so I got us ready. Just before we were ready to leave he said he wanted to go home and check on his things before going to the store. I tried reminding him that we came home yesterday, but he was adamant that we needed to go home. I suggested going shopping first, and going home afterward. That was not acceptable. Finally, rather than argue, I drove to a nearby landmark he would recognize and drove back here, showing him the street names as we passed them. When we reached our driveway he grabbed the wheel and would not allow me to proceed. He insisted I take him to the real home, our other home. I tried repeating the process, but that didn't work. He became angry, abusive and threatening. He even threatened to kill me and made menacing gestures but obviously did not act upon his threats. I parked in a university parking lot near home and offered to follow his directions to go where he wanted. He didn't know the way. I offered to call his son in CT and have him provide directions " home " or give the address. He didn't agree to that. I offered to call or take him to an old and trusted friend who would know where he lived. He finally agreed to that, but his friend was not home. His second choice for a friend to consult was at home but his phone was busy. I asked if he would be able to recognize his friend's house. I knew he lived near the university football stadium. So when we got there, was unable to direct me to his friend's house. I drove to the law school and found a phone book and got his friend's address. I tried phoning but the line was still busy. I couldn't find the street, and tried calling again and got through. We got directions and visited his friend who helped me calm . could not be convinced, naturally who can argue with someone deep in the throes of a delusion, but finally agreed to return here, even if he won't admit it's home. He let me help him urinate, and make him lunch, but he's still angry with me. He's fallen three times, and barely lets me help him stand up. He has fortunately not injured himself, at least not yet. I know he doesn't want to be hospitalized, and I hope I won't have to call the paramedics. I already had planned to try to make an appointment for him with a neuro-psychiatrist recommended by Geri Hall, and will make that my first priority for Monday. I just hope I can get him to an appointment. I've sent an email to his son asking him to call, and say something loving and supportive. I hope he snaps out of his present state soon. It's not good. Kathy --------------------------------- Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 Kathy, If you think that is going to fight you on going to the Neuro appt. then I would suggest that you don't tell him till the day arrives and then maybe say that the " doctors " appointment is for you and that you need his support. I know its a tremendous lie but we do what we have to do to get them to where we can find some help. I had to tell my mom many, many fiblets when she was in the beginning/middle stages of this damned disease. Courage False Home Delusion Problems Today 's delusion that we have another home, and we need to go there, is causing very serious problems. This has recently become an almost daily problem. Yesterday we went and did some xeroxing at a copy place, and when we returned home he seemed satisfied that we were indeed home. This morning after breakfast he said he wanted to go shopping, so I got us ready. Just before we were ready to leave he said he wanted to go home and check on his things before going to the store. I tried reminding him that we came home yesterday, but he was adamant that we needed to go home. I suggested going shopping first, and going home afterward. That was not acceptable. Finally, rather than argue, I drove to a nearby landmark he would recognize and drove back here, showing him the street names as we passed them. When we reached our driveway he grabbed the wheel and would not allow me to proceed. He insisted I take him to the real home, our other home. I tried repeating the process, but that didn't work. He became angry, abusive and threatening. He even threatened to kill me and made menacing gestures but obviously did not act upon his threats. I parked in a university parking lot near home and offered to follow his directions to go where he wanted. He didn't know the way. I offered to call his son in CT and have him provide directions " home " or give the address. He didn't agree to that. I offered to call or take him to an old and trusted friend who would know where he lived. He finally agreed to that, but his friend was not home. His second choice for a friend to consult was at home but his phone was busy. I asked if he would be able to recognize his friend's house. I knew he lived near the university football stadium. So when we got there, was unable to direct me to his friend's house. I drove to the law school and found a phone book and got his friend's address. I tried phoning but the line was still busy. I couldn't find the street, and tried calling again and got through. We got directions and visited his friend who helped me calm . could not be convinced, naturally who can argue with someone deep in the throes of a delusion, but finally agreed to return here, even if he won't admit it's home. He let me help him urinate, and make him lunch, but he's still angry with me. He's fallen three times, and barely lets me help him stand up. He has fortunately not injured himself, at least not yet. I know he doesn't want to be hospitalized, and I hope I won't have to call the paramedics. I already had planned to try to make an appointment for him with a neuro-psychiatrist recommended by Geri Hall, and will make that my first priority for Monday. I just hope I can get him to an appointment. I've sent an email to his son asking him to call, and say something loving and supportive. I hope he snaps out of his present state soon. It's not good. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2008 Report Share Posted March 9, 2008 > > > Kathy, you have written the way my husband has been. I sure hope he doesn't > go back to that. > > I told the Doctor and he upped Don's Zoloft. It has done wonders. My darling > is his old self again. He doesn't fight me in the car, nor argue about my > driving. <snip> Imogene, Thank you. Your posts always give me hope and courage. I believe senses his growing loss of control and his fear drives the delusions. When he has his most lucid moments, he tells me how much he loves me and appreciates me, and that he'd be long " gone " if he didn't have me in his life. I see the current situation as a fear-driven transition that we will either get through and able to keep him at home, or will end with institutionalization and all that implies in his case. He says he would rather die. The fact that your husband weathered the transition gives me hope that with the right medical and geriatric nursing assistance we can also make it past this current phase. To all the group members who have read of this problem and provided valuable insight, I left to himself much of yesterday, delivering meds on time, helping with urination, and bringing him dinner. By bedtime he was fine. Today he slept late and is doing well. Thank you all. I'll let you know how consulting with doctors and the elder care nurse go. Kathy Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2008 Report Share Posted March 9, 2008 >Hello Kathy, My name is Joanne and I am knew to this group, but not new to LBD. I care for my Mother who has this terrible illness. I have been through the I want to go home thing for a lot of years but it seems to have subsided in her current stage of progression. I think what I learned from this experience is that Mom was regressed into her past, thinking of her home in where she grew up with her Parents. She was sundowning and wanting to go home, find her parents, etc. I usually can head this off by keeping her in a lot of light. I play music instead from her past I give her familiar pictures of family and friends from this time period. Because Mom believed the picture was the person. She began to not be able to separate a picture from a person, a movie actress from a person in the room. She felt they were right there talking to her. I found ways to distract her and keep her thinking about something else. I would take her for an ice cream cone, something pleasant. I also took her to a psychiatrist that specializes in dementia he was the one that explained the LBD to me. Mom has frequent hallucinations where she sees little children and angels, dogs etc. I don't make a big deal out of it but instead I give her a baby doll to hold, a stuffed dog animal, we have a dog too and we have her lay by Mom and it calms her down. Many of these things were very troublesome in the beginning. But I have since learned not to play into her anxiety but instead I just agree with her and I do what I think is best for her. WE have her father and mothers pictures in the hallway and all her childrens pictures and so when she says she wants her mom and dad I walk her down the hallway with her walker, and she feels very content with that. I hope my sharing my experiences, help you to know you are not alone, and to know that this too shall pass. Medication management does help a great deal with the anger and anxiety. Best to you Joanne P > Today 's delusion that we have another home, and we need to go > there, is causing very serious problems. This has recently become an > almost daily problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 HI Lin, Of course. I got it from someone here years ago. Wish I could remember who now. Courage False Home Delusion Problems Today 's delusion that we have another home, and we need to go there, is causing very serious problems. This has recently become an almost daily problem. Yesterday we went and did some xeroxing at a copy place, and when we returned home he seemed satisfied that we were indeed home. This morning after breakfast he said he wanted to go shopping, so I got us ready. Just before we were ready to leave he said he wanted to go home and check on his things before going to the store. I tried reminding him that we came home yesterday, but he was adamant that we needed to go home. I suggested going shopping first, and going home afterward. That was not acceptable. Finally, rather than argue, I drove to a nearby landmark he would recognize and drove back here, showing him the street names as we passed them. When we reached our driveway he grabbed the wheel and would not allow me to proceed. He insisted I take him to the real home, our other home. I tried repeating the process, but that didn't work. He became angry, abusive and threatening. He even threatened to kill me and made menacing gestures but obviously did not act upon his threats. I parked in a university parking lot near home and offered to follow his directions to go where he wanted. He didn't know the way. I offered to call his son in CT and have him provide directions " home " or give the address. He didn't agree to that. I offered to call or take him to an old and trusted friend who would know where he lived. He finally agreed to that, but his friend was not home. His second choice for a friend to consult was at home but his phone was busy. I asked if he would be able to recognize his friend's house. I knew he lived near the university football stadium. So when we got there, was unable to direct me to his friend's house. I drove to the law school and found a phone book and got his friend's address. I tried phoning but the line was still busy. I couldn't find the street, and tried calling again and got through. We got directions and visited his friend who helped me calm . could not be convinced, naturally who can argue with someone deep in the throes of a delusion, but finally agreed to return here, even if he won't admit it's home. He let me help him urinate, and make him lunch, but he's still angry with me. He's fallen three times, and barely lets me help him stand up. He has fortunately not injured himself, at least not yet. I know he doesn't want to be hospitalized, and I hope I won't have to call the paramedics. I already had planned to try to make an appointment for him with a neuro-psychiatrist recommended by Geri Hall, and will make that my first priority for Monday. I just hope I can get him to an appointment. I've sent an email to his son asking him to call, and say something loving and supportive. I hope he snaps out of his present state soon. It's not good. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Oh thank you Dianne but I'm afraid I can't take credit for it. Someone here came up with it years ago but I can't remember who it was. (Sandie, I think we'll have to get that room at Gunthers ready sooner than we originally thought!) Courage False Home Delusion Problems Today 's delusion that we have another home, and we need to go there, is causing very serious problems. This has recently become an almost daily problem. Yesterday we went and did some xeroxing at a copy place, and when we returned home he seemed satisfied that we were indeed home. This morning after breakfast he said he wanted to go shopping, so I got us ready. Just before we were ready to leave he said he wanted to go home and check on his things before going to the store. I tried reminding him that we came home yesterday, but he was adamant that we needed to go home. I suggested going shopping first, and going home afterward. That was not acceptable. Finally, rather than argue, I drove to a nearby landmark he would recognize and drove back here, showing him the street names as we passed them. When we reached our driveway he grabbed the wheel and would not allow me to proceed. He insisted I take him to the real home, our other home. I tried repeating the process, but that didn't work. He became angry, abusive and threatening. He even threatened to kill me and made menacing gestures but obviously did not act upon his threats. I parked in a university parking lot near home and offered to follow his directions to go where he wanted. He didn't know the way. I offered to call his son in CT and have him provide directions " home " or give the address. He didn't agree to that. I offered to call or take him to an old and trusted friend who would know where he lived. He finally agreed to that, but his friend was not home. His second choice for a friend to consult was at home but his phone was busy. I asked if he would be able to recognize his friend's house. I knew he lived near the university football stadium. So when we got there, was unable to direct me to his friend's house. I drove to the law school and found a phone book and got his friend's address. I tried phoning but the line was still busy. I couldn't find the street, and tried calling again and got through. We got directions and visited his friend who helped me calm . could not be convinced, naturally who can argue with someone deep in the throes of a delusion, but finally agreed to return here, even if he won't admit it's home. He let me help him urinate, and make him lunch, but he's still angry with me. He's fallen three times, and barely lets me help him stand up. He has fortunately not injured himself, at least not yet. I know he doesn't want to be hospitalized, and I hope I won't have to call the paramedics. I already had planned to try to make an appointment for him with a neuro-psychiatrist recommended by Geri Hall, and will make that my first priority for Monday. I just hope I can get him to an appointment. I've sent an email to his son asking him to call, and say something loving and supportive. I hope he snaps out of his present state soon. It's not good. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2008 Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 What a touching story with great insight on your part Kathy. , Oakville Ont. Mother, age 92, died Aug. 12/06 after 13 year decline from PDD > > People have offered different possible " meanings " behind the false > home delusion. I suspect it may mean different things in different > cases, but I'd like to share some observations about my husband's > experience. > > He started having this delusion as he began to have difficulties with > every day life. It first appeared last fall when he failed his driving > test at license renewal time. As he lost the ability to write checks > and had to ask my assistance to write them to pay bills he began to > talk more about the other " real " home. > > When they revoked his license after the third failure to pass the > driving test he wandered out of the house one night. A neighbor found > him laying in the road and called the paramedics. He insisted that > home was around the block and looked for it in our neighborhood over > several days. > > Visits to his internist and neurologist did not turn up any physical > stressors. > > In January he had his first bad fall. Visits to his doctors again > failed to turn up any ailments, but provided the diagnosis " Lewy Body > Dementia " from his neurologist. This time both doctors gave him the > choice, get home health aides for the time I am away from work, or I > could quit work to care for him, but he should no longer be home > alone. I began working entirely from home, meeting via telephone, > although my company prefers I meet in person. > > At this point the false home problem really got worse. Every time I > discussed quitting work, or getting HHAs he'd have an episode. The > Zombies he hallucinates got worse too. > > The more his life threatened to go out of his control the worse the > delusion became until two days before he fell and broke his neck the > delusion reached crisis level. Taking him for a drive and bringing him > back home didn't solve the problem, it just made him furious. He > didn't know where home was, but he just was not home. > > is a holocaust survivor. He escaped from the Warsaw ghetto as > a teenager the day after his mother was taken away in a boxcar. He > lived under a false identity and by his wits. As a result, it's very > important for him to be in control. As he finds it harder to be in > control of his day to day affairs, he feels more alienated and less at > home. > > I think that for , being home is being in control. > > Kathy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2008 Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 Kathy, Thanks for your story. I'm watching my husband deteriorate and feel very helpless and hopeless. We have reached the point were we have no relationship and I'm not hopeful that things will ever get any better. His neurologist feels that he's " fine " , but I'm concerned about his driving. I don't know how to get him tested by DOT, without making him very angry. Our primary care doctor wants him to have some more neurological tests, but I'm afraid he'll be resistant. I'm at such a total loss as to what to do and how to do it. My 37 year old diabetic son is also in the home and he recently was released from the hospital with his third heart attack and a collapsed trachea. He also has new bleeding in one of his eyes and just had basal carcinoma removed from his back. My husband blames my son for everything. I don't know where to turn. Thanks for listening. jane --- stimtimminss wrote: > What a touching story with great insight on your > part Kathy. > > , Oakville Ont. > > Mother, age 92, died Aug. 12/06 after 13 year > decline from PDD > > > > > > People have offered different possible " meanings " > behind the false > > home delusion. I suspect it may mean different > things in different > > cases, but I'd like to share some observations > about my husband's > > experience. > > > > He started having this delusion as he began to > have difficulties with > > every day life. It first appeared last fall when > he failed his driving > > test at license renewal time. As he lost the > ability to write checks > > and had to ask my assistance to write them to pay > bills he began to > > talk more about the other " real " home. > > > > When they revoked his license after the third > failure to pass the > > driving test he wandered out of the house one > night. A neighbor found > > him laying in the road and called the paramedics. > He insisted that > > home was around the block and looked for it in our > neighborhood over > > several days. > > > > Visits to his internist and neurologist did not > turn up any physical > > stressors. > > > > In January he had his first bad fall. Visits to > his doctors again > > failed to turn up any ailments, but provided the > diagnosis " Lewy Body > > Dementia " from his neurologist. This time both > doctors gave him the > > choice, get home health aides for the time I am > away from work, or I > > could quit work to care for him, but he should no > longer be home > > alone. I began working entirely from home, meeting > via telephone, > > although my company prefers I meet in person. > > > > At this point the false home problem really got > worse. Every time I > > discussed quitting work, or getting HHAs he'd have > an episode. The > > Zombies he hallucinates got worse too. > > > > The more his life threatened to go out of his > control the worse the > > delusion became until two days before he fell and > broke his neck the > > delusion reached crisis level. Taking him for a > drive and bringing him > > back home didn't solve the problem, it just made > him furious. He > > didn't know where home was, but he just was not > home. > > > > is a holocaust survivor. He escaped from > the Warsaw ghetto as > > a teenager the day after his mother was taken away > in a boxcar. He > > lived under a false identity and by his wits. As a > result, it's very > > important for him to be in control. As he finds it > harder to be in > > control of his day to day affairs, he feels more > alienated and less at > > home. > > > > I think that for , being home is being in > control. > > > > Kathy > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2008 Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 Jane, I'm so sorry to hear about all that's going on in your life. I can't imagine what you are going through having a son who has been so ill. I send my best to him and you. Re your husband and his driving, AAA offers something online. And we have some helpful things on our website. Here are two of them: DriveABLEâ„¢ assessment A DriveABLEâ„¢ assessment is an effective tool to determine whether someone with a medical condition is able to drive safely. Driving skills can change. Even the best of drivers can become unsafe when their abilities are reduced due to medical conditions or medications. http://www.driveable.com/ Driver Safety by AARP http://www.aarp.org/families/driver_safety jane oie <jao362@... > To Sent by: LBDcaregivers LBDcaregivers@yah cc oogroups.com Subject Re: Re: False Home 03/19/2008 09:45 Delusion Problems AM Please respond to LBDcaregivers@yah oogroups.com Kathy, Thanks for your story. I'm watching my husband deteriorate and feel very helpless and hopeless. We have reached the point were we have no relationship and I'm not hopeful that things will ever get any better. His neurologist feels that he's " fine " , but I'm concerned about his driving. I don't know how to get him tested by DOT, without making him very angry. Our primary care doctor wants him to have some more neurological tests, but I'm afraid he'll be resistant. I'm at such a total loss as to what to do and how to do it. My 37 year old diabetic son is also in the home and he recently was released from the hospital with his third heart attack and a collapsed trachea. He also has new bleeding in one of his eyes and just had basal carcinoma removed from his back. My husband blames my son for everything. I don't know where to turn. Thanks for listening. jane --- stimtimminss wrote: > What a touching story with great insight on your > part Kathy. > > , Oakville Ont. > > Mother, age 92, died Aug. 12/06 after 13 year > decline from PDD > > > > > > People have offered different possible " meanings " > behind the false > > home delusion. I suspect it may mean different > things in different > > cases, but I'd like to share some observations > about my husband's > > experience. > > > > He started having this delusion as he began to > have difficulties with > > every day life. It first appeared last fall when > he failed his driving > > test at license renewal time. As he lost the > ability to write checks > > and had to ask my assistance to write them to pay > bills he began to > > talk more about the other " real " home. > > > > When they revoked his license after the third > failure to pass the > > driving test he wandered out of the house one > night. A neighbor found > > him laying in the road and called the paramedics. > He insisted that > > home was around the block and looked for it in our > neighborhood over > > several days. > > > > Visits to his internist and neurologist did not > turn up any physical > > stressors. > > > > In January he had his first bad fall. Visits to > his doctors again > > failed to turn up any ailments, but provided the > diagnosis " Lewy Body > > Dementia " from his neurologist. This time both > doctors gave him the > > choice, get home health aides for the time I am > away from work, or I > > could quit work to care for him, but he should no > longer be home > > alone. I began working entirely from home, meeting > via telephone, > > although my company prefers I meet in person. > > > > At this point the false home problem really got > worse. Every time I > > discussed quitting work, or getting HHAs he'd have > an episode. The > > Zombies he hallucinates got worse too. > > > > The more his life threatened to go out of his > control the worse the > > delusion became until two days before he fell and > broke his neck the > > delusion reached crisis level. Taking him for a > drive and bringing him > > back home didn't solve the problem, it just made > him furious. He > > didn't know where home was, but he just was not > home. > > > > is a holocaust survivor. He escaped from > the Warsaw ghetto as > > a teenager the day after his mother was taken away > in a boxcar. He > > lived under a false identity and by his wits. As a > result, it's very > > important for him to be in control. As he finds it > harder to be in > > control of his day to day affairs, he feels more > alienated and less at > > home. > > > > I think that for , being home is being in > control. > > > > Kathy > > > > > __________________________________________________________ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2008 Report Share Posted March 20, 2008 Jane and Kathy, Some where in the " files " or " link " at the bottom of this message, you will find Jan C's bag of tricks. She has a $10,00 kill switch put on her car in a very short time at a garage. She could run the car and he couldn't start it unless he knew how to make the " Kill switch " work. She said it was under the steering wheel and she could quickly turn it off and start the car. He couldn't and didn't know why the car wouldn't start for him. He made lots of keys so she could never take enough keys away from him and he wouldn't have one anyway. Hope this helps. Hugs, Donna R Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in a nh. She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine. Re: Re: False Home Delusion Problems Kathy, Thanks for your story. I'm watching my husband deteriorate and feel very helpless and hopeless. We have reached the point were we have no relationship and I'm not hopeful that things will ever get any better. His neurologist feels that he's " fine " , but I'm concerned about his driving. I don't know how to get him tested by DOT, without making him very angry. Our primary care doctor wants him to have some more neurological tests, but I'm afraid he'll be resistant. I'm at such a total loss as to what to do and how to do it. My 37 year old diabetic son is also in the home and he recently was released from the hospital with his third heart attack and a collapsed trachea. He also has new bleeding in one of his eyes and just had basal carcinoma removed from his back. My husband blames my son for everything. I don't know where to turn. Thanks for listening. jane --- stimtimminss wrote: > What a touching story with great insight on your > part Kathy. > > , Oakville Ont. > > Mother, age 92, died Aug. 12/06 after 13 year > decline from PDD > > > > > > People have offered different possible " meanings " > behind the false > > home delusion. I suspect it may mean different > things in different > > cases, but I'd like to share some observations > about my husband's > > experience. > > > > He started having this delusion as he began to > have difficulties with > > every day life. It first appeared last fall when > he failed his driving > > test at license renewal time. As he lost the > ability to write checks > > and had to ask my assistance to write them to pay > bills he began to > > talk more about the other " real " home. > > > > When they revoked his license after the third > failure to pass the > > driving test he wandered out of the house one > night. A neighbor found > > him laying in the road and called the paramedics. > He insisted that > > home was around the block and looked for it in our > neighborhood over > > several days. > > > > Visits to his internist and neurologist did not > turn up any physical > > stressors. > > > > In January he had his first bad fall. Visits to > his doctors again > > failed to turn up any ailments, but provided the > diagnosis " Lewy Body > > Dementia " from his neurologist. This time both > doctors gave him the > > choice, get home health aides for the time I am > away from work, or I > > could quit work to care for him, but he should no > longer be home > > alone. I began working entirely from home, meeting > via telephone, > > although my company prefers I meet in person. > > > > At this point the false home problem really got > worse. Every time I > > discussed quitting work, or getting HHAs he'd have > an episode. The > > Zombies he hallucinates got worse too. > > > > The more his life threatened to go out of his > control the worse the > > delusion became until two days before he fell and > broke his neck the > > delusion reached crisis level. Taking him for a > drive and bringing him > > back home didn't solve the problem, it just made > him furious. He > > didn't know where home was, but he just was not > home. > > > > is a holocaust survivor. He escaped from > the Warsaw ghetto as > > a teenager the day after his mother was taken away > in a boxcar. He > > lived under a false identity and by his wits. As a > result, it's very > > important for him to be in control. As he finds it > harder to be in > > control of his day to day affairs, he feels more > alienated and less at > > home. > > > > I think that for , being home is being in > control. > > > > Kathy > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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