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Re: AMEN /June

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Hi June,

I am answering your nh experiences with teeth brushed,

shaving, hair and bathing.

I feel like I have to be at the nursing home every

night when it is Jim's bedtime. I don't want to be

controlling, but they just pick him up out of his

chair and put him in bed and change his diaper on the

bed. I have asked that they toilet him. He knows how

to use the toilet if he is brought in and assisted to

sit on the toilet. It is a time of combativeness

during toileting at times, so I think they are trying

to avoid the combativeness. But Jim is losing a lot of

his self-help skills that he did have, even though few

they be. So they don't have him brush his teeth

either, if I'm not there to make sure that Jim brushes

his teeth. I bring the electric toothbrush in at the

end of the week to clean them up good. He still has

all of his teeth and one of the few at the nh that

does. I have him go to the dentist every 4 months. He

just went two weeks ago for a cleaning and the dentist

said his teeth looked good. Because I am making sure

he brushes them everynight and floss them. The morning

crew is much better. When they get Jim up in the

morning they have him brush his teeth to get rid of

the morning breath. They do shave him, but they can't

get as close a shave as I do, so I usually shave Jim

when I see he needs it. They do have a hair salon and

I drop a note in the bin near the door that Jim needs

a hair cut and then I pay her the day she cuts Jim's

hair. I went in the first time with Jim to let her

know how he wears his hair combed and now she knows

how to cut it.

I must say, they are good about bathing Jim. He seems

to really enjoy his showers there and it was really a

chore for me to get him to go into the shower at home,

even though we had a handicap bar in the shower and a

seat for him. I had to give Jim a sponge bath a lot,

because he would resist so often getting into the

shower at home and it would turn into combativeness. I

am really glad that they can get him to bathe.

Sometimes, he wants to stay extra long in the shower

and they let him. It's good news to me.

I had another problem with the clothes today. Now,

Jim's shoes are lost and they had someone else's shoes

and socks on Jim. Arghhhhhhhhhh! His name is all over

his shoes too. I have used my masking tape again and

inked on it to find Jim's shoes and a pair of pants

that are missing and probably were on someone else. I

found that when you talk to the peers about the

problem it gets results, because they do not want

their co workers hearing of their stupidity. After

enough times, it usually starts to sink in. I haven't

had a problem with the sedation in almost a month,

since I talked to the coworkers about the nurse that

sedated Jim before dinner. That nurse left on her own

accord I believe. I don't think she was fired, but

other peers talking about what she did, was not a good

thing for her. When you talk straight with them it

doesn't seem to phase them and they repeat their same

mistakes. I have gone to the head nurse and she says

she will talk to them, but I have my doubts, because

the situation doesn't change. I have found the most

effective thing to do is talk to the director and also

the coworkers about problems and things start to

change. I never liked being a snitch, but if it helps

my husband, I will be. I will not stand by and see him

mistreated or like a man without a face and no

identity. As long as I am around, he will be treated

with respect and dignity.

Just to let you know, I am not a complete nut about

everything has to be perfect, but some things just are

not acceptable. When the staff makes effort to make

Jim comfortable and treat him with respect I praise

them and will even treat them to some bakery goods to

share. They always love that.

Ocassionally, I bring them health food too, like

vegetables and dip. And I have submitted one staff

member's name for Employee of the Month. So they

aren't all bad. It's that small handful that make me

want to scream. Jan

--- June Christensen

wrote:

> After his stint in the hospital last week and the

> overmedication, I called Hospice, and they will come

> if a doctor orders it. Finally, yesterday and

> today,

> he seemed much less drowsy and even tho he's on the

> same medications, I think the UTI has been resolved,

> and that's the reason for the improvement. I'm

> watching carefully for any signs of that coming

> back,

> and I think the NH may have learned, too, that his

> bad

> behavior is related to physical problems.

>

> Send us some of that excess moisture!

>

> --- Donna Mido wrote:

>

> > June,

> >

> > The east coast is getting all your rain!

> >

> > No, if Mom got her teeth brushed, I did it. Mom

> > didn't have the trouble eating that everyone talks

> > about. But she wasn't on all the meds either.

> And

> > they do forget how to do the very complicated

> > process of chewing and swallowing. We really

> forget

> > how many steps are involved.

> >

> > If I wanted Mom's hair washed or cut, they had an

> in

> > house beauty shop and I had appointments and they

> > came and got her. And I paid out of pocket for

> that

> > " added " service. But he should be shaved! And his

> > teeth brushed. It sounds like they are not doing

> a

> > good job of hygiene or communicating with you. I

> > would ask the floor nurse how he is to get his

> hair,

> > shaving, and teeth done.

> >

> > Hope it gets better. It is much harder to fight

> the

> > nh and the disease and sometimes even our LOs. Is

> > he on Hospice? That helps some but not always.

> > They come in and do some of that and if you get a

> > good Hospice Aide you might get most of that done.

>

> >

> > Hugs,

> >

> > Donna R

> >

> > Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to

> MI)

> > for 3 years and 4th year in a nh.

> >

> > She was almost 89 when she died in '02

> >

> > No dx other than mine.

> >

> >

> > Re: AMEN Donna R.

> >

> > Some of you that do have or have had family

> members

> > in

> > nursing homes, did you have a problem with them

> not

> > seeing that teeth are brushed, that they are

> shaved,

> > hair washed every time they shower, etc. At least

> > two

> > weeks ago, I asked for his hair to be cut, and to

> > date

> > it hasn't been done; I know it couldn't be done

> the

> > week he was in the hospital, but I told him he's

> > beginning to look like Willie and he'd have

> > to

> > have a pony tail soon. I have some other issues,

> > too,

> > but they seem to respond to them better, but this

> > personal care is not done. Tonight when I went at

> > dinner time, he had not been shaved, hair was oily

> > and

> > smelled bad, and the last time his teeth were

> > brushed

> > is when I did it Thursday afternoon. After all

> the

> > years of seeing the dentist faithfully and having

> > teeth cleaned, brushing at least twice daily, it

> > really makes me upset that his teeth are getting

> in

> > such bad condition. Also, has anyone noticed that

> > they don't seem to be able to open their mouths

> very

> > wide? I have a hard time getting him to open his

> > mouth to eat or brush teeth - he will just barely

> > open

> > his lips and then seems to push the food out

> rather

> > than letting me put it in. He also sort of does

> > that

> > when brushing teeth. It reminds me of when I

> > started

> > solid food on my babies, and how they would roll

> > their

> > tongues forward. I guess it is true that they

> > regress

> > to being like an infant!

> >

> > We are having horrible heat and dry weather here

> in

> > Kansas; the last two days have been in the upper

> 90s

> > and only a little over an inch of rain has fallen

> > throughout the month of June.

> >

> > --- Donna Mido wrote:

> >

> > > Thanks you Sandie,

> > >

> > > Yes, I remember we were both going through that

> > > hell, not even as much with our LO as with the

> nh.

> >

> > > I wish they would shut down some of the bad

> ones.

> > >

> > > I even sat with the State Inspector as I happen

> to

> > > be there the day they did the inspectationsl

> The

> > > staff were very uncomfortable with me talking to

> > her

> > > and moved past where we were sitting

> continously.

> > > The SI asked if something was happening down

> that

> > > hall as she was aware of all the staff trouping

> > by.

> > > I told her, " no, they are just uncomfortable

> with

> > me

> > > talking to you. "

> > >

> > > I told her everything I could as I didn't think

> I

> > > might get another such chance. They still got a

> > > " very good " rating and I was quite surprised.

> > Guess

> > > it does no good to even try and let the people

> > know

> > > who might be able to do something.

> > >

> > > I have not been back in the 4 years since she

> > died.

> > > I want to. I hope they have a new Director of

> > > Nursing at least. He use to follow me around,

> > > casually. He had one woman who saw her Mom,

> > removed

> > > and had the police escort her out and refused to

> > let

> > > her come in and visit with her Mom. With her,

> > they

> > > even filed a court order to get custody of her

> > Mom.

> > > I told her to get her Mom out of there as she

> > wasn't

> > > going to get an attorney and was going to try

> and

> > > fight them herself in court. I couldn't even

> > > believe they could go for custody as she was

> > taking

> > > care of her Mom. She just wasn't happy about

> the

> > > care her Mom was getting. It was a bad place.

> > >

> > > I hope you have had some of it fade better than

> I

> > > have. Hugs and good thoughts.

> > >

> > > Donna R

> > >

> > > Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to

> > MI)

> > > for 3 years and 4th year in a nh.

> > >

> > > She was almost 89 when she died in '02

> > >

> > > No dx other than mine.

> > >

> > >

> > > -----Original Message-----

>

=== message truncated ===

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