Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 ~ I am new to the group and I talk alot myself. Your sweet e-mail was short and to the point and a breath of fresh air! I appreciated you scripture:0) thank you and God bless! Ingrid Me 30 dh 39 dd 12 ds 10 ds 6 TL '95 TR 17Jan2002? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2001 Report Share Posted November 28, 2001 Greetings Everyone! I just thought I would drop a quick line to say that I enjoy reading everyones questions and responses. There are so many touchy things and many of your conversations answer questions of my own. Thank you! For myself, I do not write much so do not take it personal. I work M-F:8-5 so getting into the chat is difficult for me, although I do have evenings at home. Well, enough of that. I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving and are ready to battle the crowds for Christmas shopping. Until later, EVERYONE SMILE!!! " Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share troubles? " - Proverbs 17:17 __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 Hi Haakon.Brilliant start. I love playing the guitar. I'm absolutely hopeless - I have about 4 chords that I can play without having to desperately at the fretboard -- but with those 4 chords I can play everything R.E.M. have ever written. :0) Not sure about climbing - think I'd pass out 8 feet from the ground! Those bits of 'leisure' are so important. They're not as heavy as love and work, and a nice place to start. But, yes, it's hard, isn't it! We spend so much time concentrating on the problems in our lives, this sort of thinking seems all a bit fanciful at first. Our minds will tell us it's pointless. Still, let's do it anyway.http://tinyurl.com/4haakonThese are Russ 's worksheets from the Happiness Trap, and in the middle there is a Values Worksheet. This might help you take your thinking a step further.I really look forward to hearing more.Best wishes, xSubject: Re: hello againTo: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Friday, 28 January, 2011, 19:08 i'm sorry i am not answering much. but here goes. For : those things are hard to see. i'm not sure what i want, or wanted. for along while i haven't been able to think about what i want, i just think i want to be someone else. i can't conceive of this guy (me) being anything for himself. i never thought about what i wanted to be when i was a kid, i think. what i would like things to be like now? hm. i guess i would like a girlfriend. i would like to have a good job. i don't know what kind of job. i have started climbing (indoors), and i like that. but i just don't want to be myself. i can't picture myself as a guy who does/has these things. sorry. i'll try again. sometimes i have thought that i would like to be a psychologist, but that may be just because a friend of mine, who i look up to very much; is a psychologist. i would like to be a good guitar player. i would like to be smart, independent. i think this is hard. i'll try thinking about it and write more later. haakon > > > Subject: hello again > To: ACT_for_the_Public > Date: Thursday, 27 January, 2011, 20:46 > > > > > > > > Â > > > > > > > > > > > > i don't know if this is the right place to write this, but i can't seem to make things work. yesterday i had kind of a breakthrough in accepting pain. but today....i was at a friends house, and i just remember the old me (the same me). i don't have a personality. it is like i am nothing. i feel nothing, i want nothing. it's completely crazy. this friend of mine and his girlfriend, they just seem to like life, and each other. i'm not saying that it's perfect, but they are someone. i have been depressed and out of it for ten years, and i can't stand to feel like nothing anymore. i just emulate others. now i am home again. alone. and feeling empty. i want things to be different. i really do. but it just doesn't seem to matter. what can i do in a situation like this? i feel so empty, with no goals, no prospects, no charm, no good stories. sitting on the train home i was thinking "it would probably be best if someone blew up the train now, so i could die > without doing it myself". i don't know. i don't want to die now. but if i can't be with my friends without being sad, then what should i do? i feel dead inside. i can accept pain. i have pain. but that can't be all. > > > > i end up not knowing who i am when i am with friends. i'm tired now. tired of the same shit. i don't see a good life up ahead. it cannot keep on being like this. i feel like i am the dumbest...that's probably not the worst part, i feel like i have no passions, feelings, wants, except for not being hurt. i have nothing that is ME. i feel dead and cold. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 hey, helena. my therapist is not into ACT. he didn't seem to care much for it. i have been working on steven hayes' book (get out of your mind..), but i am finding it hard now. i more or less made it to the chapter about values, and it stopped there. i know i have values. but there are some serious barriers. if i move towards a value, i feel vulnerable and uncomfortable, i become anxious, feel strange and irritable. especially if it's about social activities. one of the worst things for me is talking to girls. i can be a very entertaining person, people think i am funny. but when i try talking seriously or get too close, the alarm goes off. makes me really sad, just thinking of it. in relationships i have a tendency to get very insecure and really clingy. hehe. this post is getting brave. so if i value having a close relationship to a girl, that just doesn't work out. it gets so destructive. in one way, i really want it. but this guy (me!) just can't handle it. i can't handle the possibility of conflict. i get super-anxious, jealous, clingy, self-deprecating, everything. so i value it, but all this comes up in association to it. these are NOT easy thoughts to defuse. and they have facts behind them, standing there shouting and booing me. anywaysssss....progress in therapy, doesn't seem to be much of it. i am going there tuesday again, and i just have to tell him that it is not going anywhere. but i can't quit. then i would feel totally alone and helpless. i want to move forward now, instead of digging through the same slimy, disgusting dirt two times a week without any visible results. haakon > > > > Hello again yourself... > > > > Do you realize that it is your mind that is feeding you the idea that you are no one, have no personality, are alone, empty, and a big fat nothing? Do you believe this stuff your mind is dishing out to you? Do you realize that it is not YOU? Apparently you don't, or you wouldn't tell us this stuff as though it were true. W ith the help of the ACT books or your therapist, you will need to learn how to defuse those thoughts instead of buying into them before you will be able to make any progress. > > > > Unless you are in a coma, you do have a personality, you are not alone-- you were visiting friends and you are engaging in dialogue on this list--and no human being is worth nothing. If you feel empty, that's to be expected until you get to the point where you start filling yourself up with the quiet satisfaction of living a life according to your values--but first, accepting the things you cannot change and defusing those crazy lying thoughts . > > > > Do you think you are making progress with your therapist? Is he or she an ACT therapist who can help you learn and practice ACT? It sounds like you need a level of help that may be beyond the scope of the members on this list -- not that we can't offer compassion and suggestions, but we can't do therapy. With the help of your therapist, y ou may want to set small, attainable goals and commit to achieving them, one at a time . You mentioned reading an ACT book and getting stuck on the values part, but I don't remember which one. Is your therapist familiar with the book and can work with you on it ? > > > > Also--so important--practice small acts of kindness for yourself, as recently pointed out. Perhaps when you get up tomorrow morning, you could take a moment to decide how you will treat yourself to one small thing today. Then do it. Have a piece of your favorite pie and savor every bite. Buy a new t-shirt in a color that flatters you. Go for a walk in the sunshine, rain or snow. Visit a pet store and play with the puppies. Small stuff like that. > > > > Hang in there. > > > > Helena > >   > > > >  > hello again > >  > > > > > > i don't know if this is the right place to write this, but i can't seem to make things work. yesterday i had kind of a breakthrough in accepting pain. but today....i was at a friends house, and i just remember the old me (the same me). i don't have a personality. it is like i am nothing. i feel nothing, i want nothing. it's completely crazy. this friend of mine and his girlfriend, they just seem to like life, and each other. i'm not saying that it's perfect, but they are someone. i have been depressed and out of it for ten years, and i can't stand to feel like nothing anymore. i just emulate others. now i am home again. alone. and feeling empty. i want things to be different. i really do. but it just doesn't seem to matter. what can i do in a situation like this? i feel so empty, with no goals, no prospects, no charm, no good stories. sitting on the train home i was thinking " it would probably be best if someone blew up the train now, so i could die without doing it myself " . i don't know. i don't want to die now. but if i can't be with my friends without being sad, then what should i do? i feel dead inside. i can accept pain. i have pain. but that can't be all. > > i end up not knowing who i am when i am with friends. i'm tired now. tired of the same shit. i don't see a good life up ahead. it cannot keep on being like this. i feel like i am the dumbest...that's probably not the worst part, i feel like i have no passions, feelings, wants, except for not being hurt. i have nothing that is ME. i feel dead and cold. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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