sharon to donna

[Guest guest]

my mail to you is bouncing again, ugh just thought i would et you know

hugs,ss

---- Donna Mido wrote:

Maggie,

I remember being frustrated so often, What always helped me was to not get

frustrated and it made it so much easier, but it was easier said than done. I

always had to try and remember it was to my benefit to keep the frustration at

bay.

The other thing I had to remember was that she couldn't reason. I would " join "

her world, and one of the things I could always do was blame someone else. " How

could anyone have put that sign on the wrong table? " And I would move the sign.

I would have told her that was meant for the next table, not us. It does mean

joining her as fast as she can think, but she really can't reason if she is like

Mom was. I could pull quite a few stunts. I couldn't have convinced Mom to eat

though. She was like your mom in that respect.

If she said she didn't want to go to an appointment, I would say, " Ok, but you

call the MD and tell him. You just made that appointment. " (She hadn't, I did.

and I knew she couldn't call and cancel the appointment very easily.)

It is so hard to remember they really can't reason. And you can use that to

help you get done what needs to be done. By the way, Mom did get dressed and go

to the MD appointment that she didn't want to go to. It was easier for her than

to try and call him. I was scared stiff as I didn't know what I was going to do

if she just wouldn't go. But I just progressed as if we were going. And she

went along!

Hope this helps.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

Re: Sharon & Maggie From Lin

You have to take one day at a time.

I have very difficult days, like one day

we went to eat lunch out, i ordered the food

and as we get the food,(pricey place). She

reads a sign that said, thank you for not

smoking. She reads it and goes, you see

i can not eat now because look at what the sign

says. Trying to explain to her that the thank

you for not smoking and her food arriving have

nothing to do with each other was totally

impossible for her to grasp. Took my time

letting her change her mind, but no way she

was going to eat that day. She did not change

her mind that entire day.

About children my mother loves children

only problem she wants to grab, talk and

carry other peoples children and very hard

to explain to strangers what i am dealing with.

I have to try to remove her from this situation.

I did have a question. How many loved ones

with LBD are still able to read?

My mom can still write and read, she reads

the bottom of the t.v. with print related to

the news. No longer wants to take the time

to read a book or magazines, but will reads

a little here and there.

Every tip we share helps alot .

Thank you for all the support

Maggie

--- l pratt wrote:

> Hi friends,

> What a wonderful site this is! I feel so supported

> and so understood here - thanks to you both for

> sharing.

> Handling hallucinations and delusions can be so

> hard - and yes, it seems they get worse as the

> disease progresses. My mom has also had mental

> illness her whole life, so medicating her is, as her

> MD says, even trickier than usual. And I know

> dealing with meds is hard, too!

>

> How wise of you, Maggie, to address your mom's

> concerns as you do. Guess the point is to be

> reassuring and demonstrate you can take of any

> problem. My mom sometimes sees kids and they bother

> her, so we just say, " Children, you have to go play

> in your own room. Good-bye. " And then we go to the

> door, say good bye again, and close it. Now the kids

> are gone.

>

> Several years ago my mom went through a long

> period of accusing all of us of everything

> imaginable - you've taken this, stolen that, hidden

> something else. This was very upsetting to her, and

> of course there is no reasoning with a demented

> person. Can't convince them of anything - their

> reality can't be changed. Changing her meds helped.

> That only happens now when she has UTIs, but is

> likely in our future.

>

> Sharon, your experiences have been so painful.

> Even when we know it's the disease speaking, hearing

> such things is awful. You've posted about this, and

> your hurt is clear. You

> sure did everything you possibly could for your

> dad related to the house and many other situations -

> not a thing to fault yourself for.

>

> Sure do appreciate both of you writing. Today with

> mom has been quite hard, so it's been especially

> uplifitng to read your messages and know others

> understand. Thank you!

>

> Peace,

>

> Lin

>

>

>

> M Sumner wrote:

> Hi LadySmiling,

>

> That is horrible, that you had to endure

> an accusation like that.

>

> When i was young, and just learning

> about dementia, i worked in a hospital

> and i had to interview a patient that had

> dementia to figure out her financial status

> for this hospital i worked for. The best

> she could explain to me what Alzheimer or

> dementia felt like was her thoughts were dizzy

> and she could not focus on anything.

>

> Only good part, our relatives don' t really

> know they are in this state of mind. My own

> mother thinks her memory is fine, and maybe

> mine is not. LOL

>

> Thank you

>

> Maggie

>

>

> --- LadySmilingAtU2@... wrote:

>

> > maggie and lin,

> > my dad just a few monthsafter signing everything

> > over to mine and his name then went into i dont

> > trust you, i hate you mode, it was awful. he

> > accused me of stealing him blind, for selling his

> > house from underneaht him, in reality he made me

> > sell the house in tenn that his and my names were

> > on, the longer i put off selling it th uglier he

> > got, so i gave in and we made 25k$ on it, but

> could

> > have made more if dad had let me negtioate but

> alas,

> > so prepare yourselves, unfortuantely the dr jekyll

> > mr/mrs hyde routine does eventually comes, good

> > luck and hugs, sharon

> > ---- M Sumner wrote:

> > Hi Lyn,

> >

> > Thank you for your response .

> > The only time i do see her upset is when

> > she claims she wants to use the bathroom

> > but she can' t because people are in there

> > making a mess, if i don t find an answer

> > quickly she will get aggitated.

> >

> > I always tell her either, they left already,

> > or let's go together and see if we can

> > figure out what is going on. That so far

> > has done the trick, worried that one day

> > it might not work.

> >

> > Her doctor claims, one day she will go into

> > accusing me of stealing something from her ,

> > that is the biggest hallucination his patients

> > caregivers complain to him about.

> >

> > Hope everything helps, feel free to share

> > other things if you feel like doing so.

> >

> > Take care

> > Maggie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > --- l pratt wrote:

> >

> > > Dear Maggie,

> > > Just getting to my end-of-last-week messages.

> > > Thanks very much for yours. The hallucinations

> > > really can be an issue. Do they bother your mom?

> > > Those my mom has (and so far not too frequently)

> > > don't seem to disturb her greatly - if whoever

> is

> > > with her has the presence of mind to " handle "

> > them.

> > > I'm glad to have heard from you.

> > >

> > > Peace,

> > > Lin

> > >

> > > M Sumner wrote:

> > > Thank you for your e mail.

> > >

> > > Wanted to mention that the hallucinations are

> > > the worse part of dementia, my mother has

> > > some very good days, but today, she was talking

> > > and talking in the bathroom, claiming once or

> > > twice that she could not use bathroom because

> > > some people were in her bathroom, it just

> > > breaks your heart, if not for hallucinations

> > > my mom could live pretty semi normal life.

> > >

> > > Hope your loved one is doing well

> > >

> > > maggie

> > > --- l pratt wrote:

> > >

> > > > Dear Maggie,

> > > >

> > > > Thanks so much for the information. Guess I

> > failed

> > > > to type several key words - mom was stable for

> > > about

> > > > 3 years on Razadyne. Worked very well - no

> > > > significant behavior problems or eating

> issues.

> > > But

> > > > over the past months it clearly was not

> working

> > > well

> > > > anymore. Her dementia was progessing, and

> > anxiety

> > > > and mild aggression set in. So the MD started

> > > Exelon

> > > > - 3mg. twice a day was the start dosage.

> Perked

> > > her

> > > > up within first few days, but on 5th day she

> was

> > > > somnolent, and on 6th hyper-alert and

> > > > overstimulated. Have decreased to 1.5 mg

> 2X/day.

> > > > Will see how that goes. I apologize for

> leaving

> > > out

> > > > important info. Many thanks again. It's

> helpful

> > to

> > > > learn that others have good success with Ex. I

> > > know

> > > > the dementia will only get worse, and this is

> a

> > > > " stop-gaop " measure, but I would like to help

> > mom

> > > > have as many good days as possible.

> > > >

> > > > Peace, Lin

> > > > M Sumner wrote:

> > > > Please explain to me

> > > > Why your mom was taken off Razadyne if

> > > > you claim it was working.

> > > >

>

=== message truncated ===

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