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Hi, Maggie,

Ugh! Your mom sounds very determined. These things usually pass after a

while, but she has stuck to her guns about the pajamas for over a year. Is

there any way she would wear even slipper socks or something like that instead

of

shoes. Is there any way you can take her shoes off after she falls asleep?

I am kind of at a loss for good suggestions on this one. I will be keeping

you in my thoughts.

Hugs,

Piper

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My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular clothes.

I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one day.

But Nothing.

Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go thru

this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

and your need to relax., let's take your shoes off,

i even take them off and she will put them back on.

Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

Anyone have any ideas?

Maggie/So California

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Maggie, our LO's can go through so many of these weird things. My granda refused

to take his slippers off when he went to bed also. How about gently slipping

into the conversation at bedtime that she'd asked you earlier on to have her

shoes re-soled or heeled and if she takes them off then you can take them first

thing in the morning.

.xx

Feedback please

My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular clothes.

I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one day.

But Nothing.

Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go thru

this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

and your need to relax., let's take your shoes off,

i even take them off and she will put them back on.

Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

Anyone have any ideas?

Maggie/So California

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HI Maggie,

What a time you must be having.

Would you mother wear those leisure suits - track pants and tops? Maybe if you

brought in a set for her as a present and asked her to wear it you may slowly be

able to replace her wearing her regular clothes with these - a lot more comfy

I'm sure. You've got me stumped on the shoes.

Best of luck and please let us know how you make out.

Courage

Feedback please

My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular clothes.

I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one day.

But Nothing.

Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go thru

this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

and your need to relax., let's take your shoes off,

i even take them off and she will put them back on.

Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

Anyone have any ideas?

Maggie/So California

__________________________________________________________

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Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

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Hi, maggie -

Maybe this is pretty widespread - I don't know. And I don't know " why " it

happens - just another odd twist of LBD. My mom goes through phases like you're

describing. The pj thing from time to time. So sometimes she sleeps in regular

clothes - I don't really care as long as she sleeps. Does your mom say " why " she

won't wear pjs? My mom said they were for babies! And she doesn't want to put on

shoes. I can't convince her to do anything at such times, so I no longer try. I

have taken her out to restaurants without shoes (she doesn't walk anymore)! I'm

probably suspected of elder abuse. Would your mom take shoes off during the day

for awhile? If so, this would give them the breathing time you want.

Let us know how it goes.

Lin

M Sumner wrote:

My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular clothes.

I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one day.

But Nothing.

Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go thru

this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

and your need to relax., let's take your shoes off,

i even take them off and she will put them back on.

Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

Anyone have any ideas?

Maggie/So California

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

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maggie wrote:

> My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

> Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular clothes.

>

> I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one day.

> But Nothing.

>

> Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go thru

> this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

> and your need to relax., let's take your shoes off,

> i even take them off and she will put them back on.

>

> Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

>

>

Does she say why she needs her shoes on? Mom usually has a reason

(however odd it may be) for what she does.

I try to remember that just because it seems uncomfortable for me

doesn't mean it is for Mom, and sometimes I think she just wants to

retain some sense of independence and doing things her way.

jacqui (in Puget Sound)

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Thank you Jacqui,

I has been so hot in so california..105 most of

the day and now 7 still 100 degree. They must

be making her HOT.

She will say they have to stay on, and she is

suppose to keep them on when she sleeps.

I can not figure this one out.

Maggie

--- jacqui wrote:

> maggie wrote:

>

> > My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

> > Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> clothes.

> >

> > I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one

> day.

> > But Nothing.

> >

> > Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> thru

> > this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

> > and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> off,

> > i even take them off and she will put them back

> on.

> >

> > Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

> >

> >

>

> Does she say why she needs her shoes on? Mom

> usually has a reason

> (however odd it may be) for what she does.

>

> I try to remember that just because it seems

> uncomfortable for me

> doesn't mean it is for Mom, and sometimes I think

> she just wants to

> retain some sense of independence and doing things

> her way.

>

> jacqui (in Puget Sound)

>

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Thank you Lin,

The only time she takes them off, is during

shower and after for 5 minutes till i use blow

dryer to make sure they are totally dry and not

be wearing shoes with wet feet.

I think she does not know why she does it.

She will go, OHH NO, OHH NO and if i slip them

off, she gets out of bed and he has them on

1 minute later.

It is so strange

Maggie

--- l pratt wrote:

> Hi, maggie -

> Maybe this is pretty widespread - I don't know.

> And I don't know " why " it happens - just another odd

> twist of LBD. My mom goes through phases like you're

> describing. The pj thing from time to time. So

> sometimes she sleeps in regular clothes - I don't

> really care as long as she sleeps. Does your mom say

> " why " she won't wear pjs? My mom said they were for

> babies! And she doesn't want to put on shoes. I

> can't convince her to do anything at such times, so

> I no longer try. I have taken her out to restaurants

> without shoes (she doesn't walk anymore)! I'm

> probably suspected of elder abuse. Would your mom

> take shoes off during the day for awhile? If so,

> this would give them the breathing time you want.

> Let us know how it goes.

> Lin

> M Sumner wrote:

> My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

> Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> clothes.

>

> I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one day.

> But Nothing.

>

> Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go thru

> this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

> and your need to relax., let's take your shoes off,

> i even take them off and she will put them back on.

>

> Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

>

> Anyone have any ideas?

>

> Maggie/So California

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

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Thank you Courage,

I will not give up. I am more worried about her

feet's health...If she might get infection

or something.

Like i said in other e mails, the temperature

here has been over 100, these are not open

shoes, they are closed shoes, they must be

getting sweatty and all.

Just don 't know what to do, i tried

changing her shoes to sandals and same thing

she will go OHHH NO and put them back.

Strange.

Maggie

--- gaat wrote:

> HI Maggie,

>

> What a time you must be having.

> Would you mother wear those leisure suits - track

> pants and tops? Maybe if you brought in a set for

> her as a present and asked her to wear it you may

> slowly be able to replace her wearing her regular

> clothes with these - a lot more comfy I'm sure.

> You've got me stumped on the shoes.

> Best of luck and please let us know how you make

> out.

> Courage

>

> Feedback please

>

>

> My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

> Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> clothes.

>

> I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one

> day.

> But Nothing.

>

> Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> thru

> this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

> and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> off,

> i even take them off and she will put them back

> on.

>

> Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

>

> Anyone have any ideas?

>

> Maggie/So California

>

>

>

__________________________________________________________

> Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

>

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

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Thank you for feedback ,

Even more than the shoes, i am worried about

what is next?...What will doing this do to her

feet, bacteria? Infection? It has been HOT here.

So confused, but i will try eveything recommended

and see how things go.

What a dilema ???

Maggie

--- daniel campbell

wrote:

> Maggie, our LO's can go through so many of these

> weird things. My granda refused to take his slippers

> off when he went to bed also. How about gently

> slipping into the conversation at bedtime that she'd

> asked you earlier on to have her shoes re-soled or

> heeled and if she takes them off then you can take

> them first thing in the morning.

> .xx

> Feedback please

>

>

> My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

> Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> clothes.

>

> I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one

> day.

> But Nothing.

>

> Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> thru

> this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

> and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> off,

> i even take them off and she will put them back

> on.

>

> Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

>

> Anyone have any ideas?

>

> Maggie/So California

>

>

>

__________________________________________________________

> Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

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Have you tried taking them off after she is asleep and

then putting them where she can't see them? If she

asks for them, tell her you had to take them to the

repairman for repairs and see what happens.

--- M Sumner wrote:

> Thank you Courage,

>

> I will not give up. I am more worried about her

> feet's health...If she might get infection

> or something.

>

> Like i said in other e mails, the temperature

> here has been over 100, these are not open

> shoes, they are closed shoes, they must be

> getting sweatty and all.

>

> Just don 't know what to do, i tried

> changing her shoes to sandals and same thing

> she will go OHHH NO and put them back.

>

> Strange.

>

> Maggie

> --- gaat wrote:

>

> > HI Maggie,

> >

> > What a time you must be having.

> > Would you mother wear those leisure suits - track

> > pants and tops? Maybe if you brought in a set for

> > her as a present and asked her to wear it you may

> > slowly be able to replace her wearing her regular

> > clothes with these - a lot more comfy I'm sure.

> > You've got me stumped on the shoes.

> > Best of luck and please let us know how you make

> > out.

> > Courage

> >

> > Feedback please

> >

> >

> > My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

> > Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> > clothes.

> >

> > I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one

> > day.

> > But Nothing.

> >

> > Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> > thru

> > this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to

> breath

> > and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> > off,

> > i even take them off and she will put them back

> > on.

> >

> > Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

> >

> > Anyone have any ideas?

> >

> > Maggie/So California

> >

> >

> >

>

__________________________________________________________

> > Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> > Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> > http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship

> answers from someone who knows. Yahoo! Answers -

> Check it out.

>

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?link=list & sid=396545433

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

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Jacqui,

You would think she would want them off

due to heat, but no, it changes nothing

and she is not bothered by it either.

She only goes to day care 4 hours a few

times a week and no one has told her to keep

them on, it is something she has made up

on her own. Very worried about infection

or bacteria causing problem.

No sign of overheated either.

I told her i needed to clean them and i would

bring them back, she went into a mini rage

She went crazy as if i was assaulting her

very strange.

maggie

--- jacqui wrote:

> M Sumner wrote:

>

> >I has been so hot in so california..105 most of

> >the day and now 7 still 100 degree. They must

> >be making her HOT.

> >

> >

>

> One would think, but Mom's thermostat is broken and

> she wears a

> sweatshirt and a sweater in 90 degree weather and

> still complains of

> being cold. When I hold her hand, it is indeed on

> the cool side. Do

> you see her flushing or showing signs of being

> overheated?

>

> >She will say they have to stay on, and she is

> >suppose to keep them on when she sleeps.

> >

> >

>

> Mom thought there were things she was required to do

> at the nursing home

> by someone, I am not quite sure who it was. I

> generally ask her to tell

> me who it is that has given these instructions and

> if it is something

> I'd like to have done differently, I ask her if she

> would like me to

> talk to them and see if they can change the order

> (Mom is a retired RN

> and so " doctor's orders " is meaningful to her).

>

> The issue of problems with the feet that will be

> tough to observe

> because of the shoes is valid, and if she won't buy

> into the doctor or

> some other authority saying she needs to have them

> off at night or to

> wear something like slippers instead, then it is a

> dilemma.

>

> With Mom, I am able to do things like taking her

> shoes and telling her

> they need to be adjusted, and giving her something

> more suitable in

> their place. I don't know if this would work for

> you.

>

> jacqui (in Puget Sound)

>

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June,

Thank you.

I have tried that, but will try again tonight.

She will actually wake up from sleep and she will

go crazy looking for them, one time i put them

high up inside her closet, she picked another pair of

shoe and put those on to bed.

Maggie

--- June Christensen

wrote:

> Have you tried taking them off after she is asleep

> and

> then putting them where she can't see them? If she

> asks for them, tell her you had to take them to the

> repairman for repairs and see what happens.

>

>

> --- M Sumner wrote:

>

> > Thank you Courage,

> >

> > I will not give up. I am more worried about her

> > feet's health...If she might get infection

> > or something.

> >

> > Like i said in other e mails, the temperature

> > here has been over 100, these are not open

> > shoes, they are closed shoes, they must be

> > getting sweatty and all.

> >

> > Just don 't know what to do, i tried

> > changing her shoes to sandals and same thing

> > she will go OHHH NO and put them back.

> >

> > Strange.

> >

> > Maggie

> > --- gaat wrote:

> >

> > > HI Maggie,

> > >

> > > What a time you must be having.

> > > Would you mother wear those leisure suits -

> track

> > > pants and tops? Maybe if you brought in a set

> for

> > > her as a present and asked her to wear it you

> may

> > > slowly be able to replace her wearing her

> regular

> > > clothes with these - a lot more comfy I'm sure.

> > > You've got me stumped on the shoes.

> > > Best of luck and please let us know how you make

> > > out.

> > > Courage

> > >

> > > Feedback please

> > >

> > >

> > > My mother has LBD and has refused to put on

> her

> > > Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> > > clothes.

> > >

> > > I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas

> one

> > > day.

> > > But Nothing.

> > >

> > > Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> > > thru

> > > this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to

> > breath

> > > and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> > > off,

> > > i even take them off and she will put them

> back

> > > on.

> > >

> > > Now it has been 2 months and she will not do

> it.

> > >

> > > Anyone have any ideas?

> > >

> > > Maggie/So California

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

__________________________________________________________

> > > Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> > > Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> > > http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> > Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship

> > answers from someone who knows. Yahoo! Answers -

> > Check it out.

> >

>

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?link=list & sid=396545433

> >

>

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> Need a vacation? Get great deals

> to amazing places on Yahoo! Travel.

> http://travel.yahoo.com/

>

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M Sumner wrote:

>I has been so hot in so california..105 most of

>the day and now 7 still 100 degree. They must

>be making her HOT.

>

>

One would think, but Mom's thermostat is broken and she wears a

sweatshirt and a sweater in 90 degree weather and still complains of

being cold. When I hold her hand, it is indeed on the cool side. Do

you see her flushing or showing signs of being overheated?

>She will say they have to stay on, and she is

>suppose to keep them on when she sleeps.

>

>

Mom thought there were things she was required to do at the nursing home

by someone, I am not quite sure who it was. I generally ask her to tell

me who it is that has given these instructions and if it is something

I'd like to have done differently, I ask her if she would like me to

talk to them and see if they can change the order (Mom is a retired RN

and so " doctor's orders " is meaningful to her).

The issue of problems with the feet that will be tough to observe

because of the shoes is valid, and if she won't buy into the doctor or

some other authority saying she needs to have them off at night or to

wear something like slippers instead, then it is a dilemma.

With Mom, I am able to do things like taking her shoes and telling her

they need to be adjusted, and giving her something more suitable in

their place. I don't know if this would work for you.

jacqui (in Puget Sound)

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M Sumner wrote:

>I told her i needed to clean them and i would

>bring them back, she went into a mini rage

>She went crazy as if i was assaulting her

>very strange.

>

*hug*

jacqui (in Puget Sound)

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Maggie,

I empathize with your frustrations. Maybe we just pick the battles that we can

win. If she wants to wear her clothes and shoes , then let her. That will just

be one less thing you have to contend with. The clothes and the shoes are not

hurting her; they even give her a sense of control. I know from the history

books that wearing your clothes was done in Europe in previous centuries.

My prayers are with you. You have great courage. Don't let this clothing issue

get you down.

Hugs and good wishes.

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Maggie -

Okay, now i understand better your concern - you're worried about fungal

infections. Are her feet bathed as part of her hygiene along with body bath? If

so, then someone is keeping an eye on her feet. If not, and if she likes

" getting clean " or " smelling good " or whatever might appeal to her - how about

asking her to help you give her shoes and her feet a bath? I don't know if these

shoes can be dampened or not - if no, you may have to use powder or anything

that resembles cleaning solution. If you aren't invested in your mom having her

shoes off specifically at night, you could do this during the day.

You just need an approach and props your mom would go for, but this kind of

circuitous route might work better than the direct " you have to do it. " Could

just be my mom, but she will automatically disagree whenever I - or anyone -

gives instructions. Guess she needs to feel in charge, so I engage her help and

guidance instead -and let her show me " how to do it. " meanwhile, I get done

whatever it is that needs doing.

Obviously your mom " needs " her shoes on - is there a way to figure out why? If

so, then you'll know what kind of " trick " you can perform.

Keep us posted.

Lin

Donna Mido wrote:

Maggie,

Have you told the MD and had him tell her she can't wear them to bed. Sometimes

it just takes the right person.

Does she have a favorite person, even a little one? Have them ask her how come

she is wearing her shoes.

Somewhere in her head she has a good reason and if you can find out what it is,

it might be easier to solve. Some times they are worried they won't be " ready "

in time.

These are just a few of my thoughts.Hope things work out.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

Re: Feedback please

June,

Thank you.

I have tried that, but will try again tonight.

She will actually wake up from sleep and she will

go crazy looking for them, one time i put them

high up inside her closet, she picked another pair of

shoe and put those on to bed.

Maggie

--- June Christensen

wrote:

> Have you tried taking them off after she is asleep

> and

> then putting them where she can't see them? If she

> asks for them, tell her you had to take them to the

> repairman for repairs and see what happens.

>

>

> --- M Sumner wrote:

>

> > Thank you Courage,

> >

> > I will not give up. I am more worried about her

> > feet's health...If she might get infection

> > or something.

> >

> > Like i said in other e mails, the temperature

> > here has been over 100, these are not open

> > shoes, they are closed shoes, they must be

> > getting sweatty and all.

> >

> > Just don 't know what to do, i tried

> > changing her shoes to sandals and same thing

> > she will go OHHH NO and put them back.

> >

> > Strange.

> >

> > Maggie

> > --- gaat wrote:

> >

> > > HI Maggie,

> > >

> > > What a time you must be having.

> > > Would you mother wear those leisure suits -

> track

> > > pants and tops? Maybe if you brought in a set

> for

> > > her as a present and asked her to wear it you

> may

> > > slowly be able to replace her wearing her

> regular

> > > clothes with these - a lot more comfy I'm sure.

> > > You've got me stumped on the shoes.

> > > Best of luck and please let us know how you make

> > > out.

> > > Courage

> > >

> > > Feedback please

> > >

> > >

> > > My mother has LBD and has refused to put on

> her

> > > Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> > > clothes.

> > >

> > > I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas

> one

> > > day.

> > > But Nothing.

> > >

> > > Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> > > thru

> > > this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to

> > breath

> > > and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> > > off,

> > > i even take them off and she will put them

> back

> > > on.

> > >

> > > Now it has been 2 months and she will not do

> it.

> > >

> > > Anyone have any ideas?

> > >

> > > Maggie/So California

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

__________________________________________________________

> > > Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> > > Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> > > http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

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> > Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship

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Dear maggie, i missed your post from yesterday when replying to today's message.

When you bathe her feet, do you see any sign of infection? If not, you can

probably relax. My mom becomes hysterical if I hide anything or try to tell her

" why' she needs to do any given thing. So like I said elsewhere, I take a very

circuitous route. What about two foot baths a day during this heat that worries

you? And has your mom seen - or have you consulted - a podiatrist? You can

explain your concern and what you are able to do with the foot bath. Of course

we know our feet are supposed to " breathe. " And only you can judge to what

degree this needs to be an issue. But perhaps getting an expert opinion from a

podiatrist who works with elders and the demented would be helpful.

Peace, Lin

M Sumner wrote:

Thank you Lin,

The only time she takes them off, is during

shower and after for 5 minutes till i use blow

dryer to make sure they are totally dry and not

be wearing shoes with wet feet.

I think she does not know why she does it.

She will go, OHH NO, OHH NO and if i slip them

off, she gets out of bed and he has them on

1 minute later.

It is so strange

Maggie

--- l pratt wrote:

> Hi, maggie -

> Maybe this is pretty widespread - I don't know.

> And I don't know " why " it happens - just another odd

> twist of LBD. My mom goes through phases like you're

> describing. The pj thing from time to time. So

> sometimes she sleeps in regular clothes - I don't

> really care as long as she sleeps. Does your mom say

> " why " she won't wear pjs? My mom said they were for

> babies! And she doesn't want to put on shoes. I

> can't convince her to do anything at such times, so

> I no longer try. I have taken her out to restaurants

> without shoes (she doesn't walk anymore)! I'm

> probably suspected of elder abuse. Would your mom

> take shoes off during the day for awhile? If so,

> this would give them the breathing time you want.

> Let us know how it goes.

> Lin

> M Sumner wrote:

> My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

> Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> clothes.

>

> I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one day.

> But Nothing.

>

> Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go thru

> this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

> and your need to relax., let's take your shoes off,

> i even take them off and she will put them back on.

>

> Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

>

> Anyone have any ideas?

>

> Maggie/So California

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>

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Would it help if the dr told her it would be best now to leave them off?

Re: Feedback please

Jacqui,

You would think she would want them off

due to heat, but no, it changes nothing

and she is not bothered by it either.

She only goes to day care 4 hours a few

times a week and no one has told her to keep

them on, it is something she has made up

on her own. Very worried about infection

or bacteria causing problem.

No sign of overheated either.

I told her i needed to clean them and i would

bring them back, she went into a mini rage

She went crazy as if i was assaulting her

very strange.

maggie

--- jacqui wrote:

> M Sumner wrote:

>

> >I has been so hot in so california..105 most of

> >the day and now 7 still 100 degree. They must

> >be making her HOT.

> >

> >

>

> One would think, but Mom's thermostat is broken and

> she wears a

> sweatshirt and a sweater in 90 degree weather and

> still complains of

> being cold. When I hold her hand, it is indeed on

> the cool side. Do

> you see her flushing or showing signs of being

> overheated?

>

> >She will say they have to stay on, and she is

> >suppose to keep them on when she sleeps.

> >

> >

>

> Mom thought there were things she was required to do

> at the nursing home

> by someone, I am not quite sure who it was. I

> generally ask her to tell

> me who it is that has given these instructions and

> if it is something

> I'd like to have done differently, I ask her if she

> would like me to

> talk to them and see if they can change the order

> (Mom is a retired RN

> and so " doctor's orders " is meaningful to her).

>

> The issue of problems with the feet that will be

> tough to observe

> because of the shoes is valid, and if she won't buy

> into the doctor or

> some other authority saying she needs to have them

> off at night or to

> wear something like slippers instead, then it is a

> dilemma.

>

> With Mom, I am able to do things like taking her

> shoes and telling her

> they need to be adjusted, and giving her something

> more suitable in

> their place. I don't know if this would work for

> you.

>

> jacqui (in Puget Sound)

>

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Thank you so much Lin,

I greatly appreciate all your in put .

Today i took a better approach and after her bath

had her sit on a chair and took away her shoes

while i dried her feet and while a blow dryed her

hair, so today she got 1/2 hour without her shoes.

Another thing i did today, during the drive to

her day care, told her to please at night, remove

your shoes...I will try to mention each day, and

see if after the end of the month, one of those

comments maybe stick . I can only hope.

She has been doing this for 2 months, so i have

not notice any damage, but it is just not natural

i know, i can not stand to have shoes on that long.

She does have appointment in 15 days with doctor

i will see what he says, that is a good idea you had

to check with a doctor, but it sure worries me.

We talk all day long, we probably only connect

4 minutes a day, so if i can tap in and let her know

about her shoes at times like that, i will have won

the battle. Even more than shoes, i am just horrified

what else she might have coming in similar style or

whatever you might call it.

Take care and thank you

Maggie

- l pratt wrote:

> Dear maggie, i missed your post from yesterday when

> replying to today's message. When you bathe her

> feet, do you see any sign of infection? If not, you

> can probably relax. My mom becomes hysterical if I

> hide anything or try to tell her " why' she needs to

> do any given thing. So like I said elsewhere, I take

> a very circuitous route. What about two foot baths a

> day during this heat that worries you? And has your

> mom seen - or have you consulted - a podiatrist? You

> can explain your concern and what you are able to do

> with the foot bath. Of course we know our feet are

> supposed to " breathe. " And only you can judge to

> what degree this needs to be an issue. But perhaps

> getting an expert opinion from a podiatrist who

> works with elders and the demented would be helpful.

>

> Peace, Lin

>

> M Sumner wrote:

> Thank you Lin,

>

> The only time she takes them off, is during

> shower and after for 5 minutes till i use blow

> dryer to make sure they are totally dry and not

> be wearing shoes with wet feet.

>

> I think she does not know why she does it.

>

> She will go, OHH NO, OHH NO and if i slip them

> off, she gets out of bed and he has them on

> 1 minute later.

>

> It is so strange

>

> Maggie

> --- l pratt wrote:

>

> > Hi, maggie -

> > Maybe this is pretty widespread - I don't know.

> > And I don't know " why " it happens - just another

> odd

> > twist of LBD. My mom goes through phases like

> you're

> > describing. The pj thing from time to time. So

> > sometimes she sleeps in regular clothes - I don't

> > really care as long as she sleeps. Does your mom

> say

> > " why " she won't wear pjs? My mom said they were

> for

> > babies! And she doesn't want to put on shoes. I

> > can't convince her to do anything at such times,

> so

> > I no longer try. I have taken her out to

> restaurants

> > without shoes (she doesn't walk anymore)! I'm

> > probably suspected of elder abuse. Would your mom

> > take shoes off during the day for awhile? If so,

> > this would give them the breathing time you want.

> > Let us know how it goes.

> > Lin

> > M Sumner wrote:

> > My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

> > Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> > clothes.

> >

> > I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one

> day.

> > But Nothing.

> >

> > Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> thru

> > this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

> > and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> off,

> > i even take them off and she will put them back

> on.

> >

> > Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

> >

> > Anyone have any ideas?

> >

> > Maggie/So California

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> > Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> > Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> > http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

> >

> >

> > Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

> >

> >

> >

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Lin,

All good ideas, and yes fungal infection, or even

a minor infection does worry me. I will continue

to try new things till something works, my mother

for sure has problem with listening to anything

i have to say, she is very combative to any suggestion

i am sure this is part of her LBD and i take a deep

breath and try to move on, but to show you how

combative she can be, i took her to rest room after

her day care and had her wash her hands, I hand

her a paper towel, but she instead of taking paper

towel from me, she wanted to use towel dirty already

in trash can, i took her face in my hand and had

her look at me, i said mom, please, this towel is

clean, please take this one...You know what she did?

She dried her hands on her shirt, it is like she

just hates anything i suggest, she was not like this

before.

To this day, she thinks nothing is wrong with her

or her memory and she tells me so. So when i say

something, no matter how minor it s like, you are

not going to tell me what to do .

You have given me lots of good tips, i will keep

everyone posted as to which one works, because i know

in a few months, it will be something new all over

again. She is 99 percent of the time, singing

and very happy, then she has moments like with paper

towel and tells me , wow is she changing ? and it is

scary. Next time it could be crossing the street

or parking lot, or something that could hurt her.

Sigh!!!

Take care,

Maggie

--- l pratt wrote:

> Maggie -

> Okay, now i understand better your concern -

> you're worried about fungal infections. Are her feet

> bathed as part of her hygiene along with body bath?

> If so, then someone is keeping an eye on her feet.

> If not, and if she likes " getting clean " or

> " smelling good " or whatever might appeal to her -

> how about asking her to help you give her shoes and

> her feet a bath? I don't know if these shoes can be

> dampened or not - if no, you may have to use powder

> or anything that resembles cleaning solution. If you

> aren't invested in your mom having her shoes off

> specifically at night, you could do this during the

> day.

>

> You just need an approach and props your mom

> would go for, but this kind of circuitous route

> might work better than the direct " you have to do

> it. " Could just be my mom, but she will

> automatically disagree whenever I - or anyone -

> gives instructions. Guess she needs to feel in

> charge, so I engage her help and guidance instead

> -and let her show me " how to do it. " meanwhile, I

> get done whatever it is that needs doing.

>

> Obviously your mom " needs " her shoes on - is there

> a way to figure out why? If so, then you'll know

> what kind of " trick " you can perform.

>

> Keep us posted.

>

> Lin

>

> Donna Mido wrote:

> Maggie,

>

> Have you told the MD and had him tell her she can't

> wear them to bed. Sometimes it just takes the right

> person.

>

> Does she have a favorite person, even a little one?

> Have them ask her how come she is wearing her shoes.

>

>

> Somewhere in her head she has a good reason and if

> you can find out what it is, it might be easier to

> solve. Some times they are worried they won't be

> " ready " in time.

>

> These are just a few of my thoughts.Hope things work

> out.

>

> Hugs,

>

> Donna R

>

> Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI)

> for 3 years and 4th year in a nh.

> She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other

> than mine.

>

>

> Re: Feedback please

>

> June,

>

> Thank you.

> I have tried that, but will try again tonight.

> She will actually wake up from sleep and she will

> go crazy looking for them, one time i put them

> high up inside her closet, she picked another pair

> of

> shoe and put those on to bed.

>

> Maggie

>

>

>

> --- June Christensen

> wrote:

>

> > Have you tried taking them off after she is asleep

> > and

> > then putting them where she can't see them? If she

> > asks for them, tell her you had to take them to

> the

> > repairman for repairs and see what happens.

> >

> >

> > --- M Sumner wrote:

> >

> > > Thank you Courage,

> > >

> > > I will not give up. I am more worried about her

> > > feet's health...If she might get infection

> > > or something.

> > >

> > > Like i said in other e mails, the temperature

> > > here has been over 100, these are not open

> > > shoes, they are closed shoes, they must be

> > > getting sweatty and all.

> > >

> > > Just don 't know what to do, i tried

> > > changing her shoes to sandals and same thing

> > > she will go OHHH NO and put them back.

> > >

> > > Strange.

> > >

> > > Maggie

> > > --- gaat wrote:

> > >

> > > > HI Maggie,

> > > >

> > > > What a time you must be having.

> > > > Would you mother wear those leisure suits -

> > track

> > > > pants and tops? Maybe if you brought in a set

> > for

> > > > her as a present and asked her to wear it you

> > may

> > > > slowly be able to replace her wearing her

> > regular

> > > > clothes with these - a lot more comfy I'm

> sure.

> > > > You've got me stumped on the shoes.

> > > > Best of luck and please let us know how you

> make

> > > > out.

> > > > Courage

> > > >

> > > > Feedback please

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > My mother has LBD and has refused to put on

> > her

> > > > Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> > > > clothes.

> > > >

> > > > I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas

> > one

> > > > day.

> > > > But Nothing.

> > > >

> > > > Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> > > > thru

> > > > this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to

> > > breath

> > > > and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> > > > off,

> > > > i even take them off and she will put them

> > back

> > > > on.

> > > >

> > > > Now it has been 2 months and she will not do

> > it.

> > > >

> > > > Anyone have any ideas?

> > > >

> > > > Maggie/So California

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

__________________________________________________________

> > > > Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> > > > Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> > > > http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > > removed]

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> > > Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship

> > > answers from someone who knows. Yahoo! Answers -

> > > Check it out.

> > >

> >

>

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?link=list & sid=396545433

> > >

> >

> >

>

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Maggie,

Call the MD before you go and tell him what your problem is or email him. Ask

him for his support in telling her not to wear shoes to bed. Or maybe that she

has to wear slippers to bed these days.

Yes, there are going to be other things. I hear the frustration in your email.

I bet she hears it when you talk to her. Each time that happens for her, she is

reminded she has a problem of dementia. I think she doesn't hear the worry you

have, I think she hears that she is a problem!

Get her some nice bedroom slippers that she can't resist that you can give her

as a gift that she will like and can wear to bed. Lots of fuzzy and warm and

colorful. Maybe some of those animal ones. Trade her! Shoes for slippers. If

you make this play, it might work. Get someone else to give her the slippers.

That might work even better.

It is important for you to understand she won't be told what to do, or it

sounds that way to me from what you told us here.. When she does the dangerous

thing or whatever, you need to know how to handle that too. My daughter could

do stuff with Mom that I couldn't do. Even strangers could, So I had my

daughter and strangers help when I needed it.

As much as they are grown ups, they are thinking more and more like a child. So

you need to match that thought process.

It is the little control she has left. And if I were you, I wouldn't tell her

every day about the shoes. She doesn't remember that message, (short term is

going, going gone,.) She is back fighting with her mother (you) long time ago.

Hope you find a way that isn't so stressful for you. Wonder if you could wrap

her feet or use socks that to big to put into her shoes? Mom use to give up if

it were to hard to do.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

Re: Feedback please

>

> June,

>

> Thank you.

> I have tried that, but will try again tonight.

> She will actually wake up from sleep and she will

> go crazy looking for them, one time i put them

> high up inside her closet, she picked another pair

> of

> shoe and put those on to bed.

>

> Maggie

>

>

>

> --- June Christensen

> wrote:

>

> > Have you tried taking them off after she is asleep

> > and

> > then putting them where she can't see them? If she

> > asks for them, tell her you had to take them to

> the

> > repairman for repairs and see what happens.

> >

> >

> > --- M Sumner wrote:

> >

> > > Thank you Courage,

> > >

> > > I will not give up. I am more worried about her

> > > feet's health...If she might get infection

> > > or something.

> > >

> > > Like i said in other e mails, the temperature

> > > here has been over 100, these are not open

> > > shoes, they are closed shoes, they must be

> > > getting sweatty and all.

> > >

> > > Just don 't know what to do, i tried

> > > changing her shoes to sandals and same thing

> > > she will go OHHH NO and put them back.

> > >

> > > Strange.

> > >

> > > Maggie

> > > --- gaat wrote:

> > >

> > > > HI Maggie,

> > > >

> > > > What a time you must be having.

> > > > Would you mother wear those leisure suits -

> > track

> > > > pants and tops? Maybe if you brought in a set

> > for

> > > > her as a present and asked her to wear it you

> > may

> > > > slowly be able to replace her wearing her

> > regular

> > > > clothes with these - a lot more comfy I'm

> sure.

> > > > You've got me stumped on the shoes.

> > > > Best of luck and please let us know how you

> make

> > > > out.

> > > > Courage

> > > >

> > > > Feedback please

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > My mother has LBD and has refused to put on

> > her

> > > > Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> > > > clothes.

> > > >

> > > > I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas

> > one

> > > > day.

> > > > But Nothing.

> > > >

> > > > Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> > > > thru

> > > > this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to

> > > breath

> > > > and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> > > > off,

> > > > i even take them off and she will put them

> > back

> > > > on.

> > > >

> > > > Now it has been 2 months and she will not do

> > it.

> > > >

> > > > Anyone have any ideas?

> > > >

> > > > Maggie/So California

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

__________________________________________________________

> > > > Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's

> > > > Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

> > > > http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/222

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > > removed]

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> > > Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship

> > > answers from someone who knows. Yahoo! Answers -

> > > Check it out.

> > >

> >

>

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?link=list & sid=396545433

> > >

> >

> >

>

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Donna,

You are incredible. Everything you said is so

true, she will just not take what she thinks

of as orders and as you say, that is the little

control she has left and she is going to keep it.

Not until you said it, i could tell it does

have correct a ring to it, like when she would rather

wipe her wet hands on her blouse, rather than

to take a clean paper towel from me. She had

an angry look as if i am not going to listen or

do what you want...type look.

I have never gotten doctors e mail address

but i will look into it.

I am going to do as you say, get my daughter

to give her some slippers maybe made of cotton

then her feet could breathe and i won t have to

worry, and possibly as you say coming from another

person, she will even see it as a good idea and

not resist.

You always have your thinking cap on and maybe

my frustration as you say had me going in circles

and not getting very far with this problem.

Thank you once again.

You are great support to all of us in this group

and i appreciate it very much

Maggie

--- Donna Mido wrote:

> Maggie,

>

> Call the MD before you go and tell him what your

> problem is or email him. Ask him for his support in

> telling her not to wear shoes to bed. Or maybe that

> she has to wear slippers to bed these days.

>

> Yes, there are going to be other things. I hear the

> frustration in your email. I bet she hears it when

> you talk to her. Each time that happens for her,

> she is reminded she has a problem of dementia. I

> think she doesn't hear the worry you have, I think

> she hears that she is a problem!

>

> Get her some nice bedroom slippers that she can't

> resist that you can give her as a gift that she will

> like and can wear to bed. Lots of fuzzy and warm and

> colorful. Maybe some of those animal ones. Trade

> her! Shoes for slippers. If you make this play, it

> might work. Get someone else to give her the

> slippers. That might work even better.

>

> It is important for you to understand she won't be

> told what to do, or it sounds that way to me from

> what you told us here.. When she does the dangerous

> thing or whatever, you need to know how to handle

> that too. My daughter could do stuff with Mom that

> I couldn't do. Even strangers could, So I had my

> daughter and strangers help when I needed it.

>

> As much as they are grown ups, they are thinking

> more and more like a child. So you need to match

> that thought process.

> It is the little control she has left. And if I

> were you, I wouldn't tell her every day about the

> shoes. She doesn't remember that message, (short

> term is going, going gone,.) She is back fighting

> with her mother (you) long time ago.

>

> Hope you find a way that isn't so stressful for you.

> Wonder if you could wrap her feet or use socks that

> to big to put into her shoes? Mom use to give up if

> it were to hard to do.

>

> Hugs,

>

> Donna R

>

>

> Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI)

> for 3 years and 4th year in a nh.

> She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other

> than mine.

>

>

> Re: Feedback please

> >

> > June,

> >

> > Thank you.

> > I have tried that, but will try again tonight.

> > She will actually wake up from sleep and she will

> > go crazy looking for them, one time i put them

> > high up inside her closet, she picked another pair

> > of

> > shoe and put those on to bed.

> >

> > Maggie

> >

>

=== message truncated ===

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,

I thank you so much.

For some reason, the way she behaves, is as if shoes

gives her security feeling, but she did not

have these issues a few months ago...It is just

hard when the changes come and we are just not ready

for them.

Donna gave me some good tips and i tell you

she hit it on the nose. About my mom wanting

to keep a little control she has left, that rings

so true. That i should get someone to get her

some comfy slipper and not come from me, which

just rings so true. She sees me as trying to order

or control her and she is resisting that. If i can

even get her some slippers in cotton her feet

could breathe and i would not have to worry about

an infection.

As i mentioned, my worry is also what comes next

what is she going to resist next, maybe while i am

crossing a parking lot with her, she might refuse

to hold my hand or to move from a fast moving car,

just that her behavior was not like this and she

is changing.

Donna really is on the right track on everything

she said.

I thank you, Lin, Donna and all that came up with

very good suggestions and i will keep you guys posted

as to what ultimately helped.

GOD BLESS

Maggie

--- Barrett wrote:

> Maggie,

>

> I empathize with your frustrations. Maybe we just

> pick the battles that we can win. If she wants to

> wear her clothes and shoes , then let her. That will

> just be one less thing you have to contend with. The

> clothes and the shoes are not hurting her; they even

> give her a sense of control. I know from the history

> books that wearing your clothes was done in Europe

> in previous centuries.

>

> My prayers are with you. You have great courage.

> Don't let this clothing issue get you down.

>

> Hugs and good wishes.

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

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Hi Doris,

First of all thank you.

As i was telling the group. It's as if

shoes give her security of some kind. I did

try hiding and her anger was terrible, she then

put on another pair to bed. She would go OHH NO

you are not going to do that to me and repeated

OHH NO, and stuff that does not make sense to anyone.

About paranoia, i don t think so, at least not

at this time. What is your mom doing in this area?

I was telling the group, what scares me even more

than the shoes, is what will she resist next ? Will

she refuse to hold my hand going over an obstacle

on the side walk, or crossing the parking lot at a

store, my worry is now about shoes causing her health

problem, but it goes deeper that she could pull this

in another form of some kind.

I will try to stay in touch. I am not giving up

So nice of you to write

GOD BLESS

Maggie

--- DORIS KARATOPRAK wrote:

> Hi Maggie,

>

> I was just wondering if she wears socks. If she

> isn't wearing them in her shoes, might it be

> possible to put socks on her feet and maybe she'll

> let you take the shoes off? Also, because we are

> going through the paranoia stage with my mom right

> now, I'm wondering if she thinks that someone will

> take her shoes or clothes if she doesn't wear them.

> Does she suffer from paranoia? Also can you hide

> her shoes or will that agitate her too much?

>

> Good Luck

>

> Doris in Canada

>

>

>

> Feedback please

> >

> >

> > My mother has LBD and has refused to put on her

> > Pajamas for 1 year now, sleeps in her regular

> > clothes.

> >

> > I figured she might agree to put on Pajamas one

> > day.

> > But Nothing.

> >

> > Now she wants to sleep with shoes on, and i go

> > thru

> > this speech nightly. Mom your feet need to breath

> > and your need to relax., let's take your shoes

> > off,

> > i even take them off and she will put them back

> > on.

> >

> > Now it has been 2 months and she will not do it.

> >

> > Anyone have any ideas?

> >

> > Maggie/So California

> >

> >

> >

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