Jannis - hallucinations

[Guest guest]

Jannis-

Your posts really touch my heart. This one brought on some tears. Thank you

for sharing such candid visits with us here in the group. Your positive

attitude and appreciation are a true testimony to your faith. I found faith has

to be the reason I made it through the journey with my dad.

Thinking of you today and feeling your joy for the 2 hour gift you were given

with your mom.

Sending along heartfelt hugs-

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

dad, Merle, passed from LBD 9-20-02, age 65

mum, (MIL), Jo, passed from LBD 4-29-07, age 78

-- Jannis Hallford wrote:

Jeez...I wish people were all that my mother saw. Instead, she sees demons

clawing at her and trying to take her to hell with them.

My personal feeling is that she is already in hell. I can't imagine anything

much worse than what she's going through. She had to have her purse right

beside her on her bed, because she thought we were all stealing from her. She

started going through it the other day, looking for her wedding rings. I told

her they weren't in there, that they were in her jewelry box. I had to get the

jewelry box and let her open it and check for all her jewelry. She was then

satisfied, and I could put it up, but she still held tight to her purse.

For over a month now, she's been totally gone. Suddenly, yesterday, she came

to the surface and asked for something to eat. She'd been refusing food for the

last 4-6 weeks, only taking a bite or two and then spitting it out. She refused

to take anything from me, but would only accept food or drink from my dad. She

thought we were poisoning her.

So we fixed her some chicken noodle soup, and she even fed herself! She ate an

entire bowlful! She then settled back down on her bed, and my nephew read the

Bible to her while my sister, father and I worked out the details of a DPOA for

both of them. My sister and nephew left to go to the grocery store, and she

called my name. I went over to her, and she said, " Your daddy gave you power of

attorney? " I said, " Yes, Mom, he did. But it's just for emergency purposes. "

She said, " Well, at least leave enough money for our funerals. " I said, " Mom,

we're not spending anything. But what if you're sick, and Daddy gets sick? We

have to have some way of taking care of you. " She thought for a moment, and in

a flash of clarity, said, " Of course, you're right. "

Then she started chatting. We sat for TWO HOURS and talked and laughed and

discussed everything in the world, from politics to religion to my siblings...my

mother was back. She doesn't know what's wrong with her. She thinks she has a

brain injury from a fall. I told her that I thought her brain was just fine.

It was hard for me to lie to her, because I've never done it in my entire life.

I just told her that she'd been sick, and she needed to rest up and eat more.

She said, " I eat as much as I can. " I said, " Well, Mom...eat as much as you

can, and then take two more bites. " She laughed and laughed. We discussed one

of my siblings, who has a brain tumor, and another sibling with severe heart

disease, and she worries about them. She worries about the third sibling who is

diabetic and has high blood pressure. This was my REAL MOTHER.

I don't know if today she will have dived back down to the depths, but I will

always remember those two hours. They were a gift from God, and I thank Him for

them.

Jannis

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[Guest guest]

Sandie ~ Thank you for your sweet words. So much of the time I feel as if I'm

just stumbling along here, trying to manage everything for everyone, and when I

get a gift like the talk with Mom, it reminds me that within the dementia lies a

beautiful woman with clear thoughts and a tender, loving heart. Therefore, when

I get tired, or depressed, or irritated/aggravated and pushed to the limit, I

remember that's my MOM in there...the one who loves me and carried me and gave

birth to me.

Jannis

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