Re: patti/sharon

February 14, 2008

patti,

thank you for your wonderful letter, we took care of my dad until he died in

sept 2005. and i was very active in this group until this past oct when i had to

have some kidney surgeries and i have just not been able to bounce back like i

used to.

but your letter was very informative and very true andvery appreciated. up

until recently i have hada positive attitude but since my surgeries and during

thattime my mil was diagsnosed then died of lung cancer. my husband was worn

out traveling between his mom in tenn welive in pensacola florida and coming

home to take me to jacksonville for my procedures. his mom was diagnosed oct 12,

hewas in tenn, he came home the 14th, we left the 15th to go to jaciksonville,

and the 16-20 i was in the hospital, we stayed at carol's until i had my last

tube removed from my kidney on the 26th it took us 2 days to get home as i

couldnt sit that long *6-7 hours * normally. so we got home the 27th, we got a

phone call teh 28th at 4pm that donnie should leave in the morning as mom took a

serious turn to the worse and is dying. then at 10pmwe got a call for him to

come NOW. we are 9-10 hours from tenn. he and most of the family got to spend

monday with mom she died on hallween

morning, it was so hard for me to stayhome but i couldnt sit long enough for

him to get there in a reasonable amount of time. so while he was holding his

moms hand as she took her last breath, i was here at home praying for them all.

it was the hardest thing in my life that i ever did not be there for him when

his mom died. but hewas right when he refused to let me go there with him, i was

NOT up to it.

but back to your letter, positive attitude we are both working on that, we are

trying to catch up on all the missed payments from the october and november

donnie has since decided to go to truck driving school. as his brother is going

to live with us, so donnie can travel and make good money and knowthat i am ok

becuase his brother is living with us. so that is a great attitude adjuster

there.

eating right , well we are working on that too.

exercise, that can be difficult becuase i have a urostomy bag and if i sweat

too much it falls off and i pee everywhere, but we bowl in a league every firday

nite i only bowl with a light 8 lb ball but yes i do bowl and love it. and

donnie bought me one ofthose gazelles that you see advertised on tv, not quite a

treadmill. we are setting that up, and my brother in law has a treadmill he uses

as he had a triple bypass not quite 2 years ago and then he also has a standing

bike for riding, i cant use the treadmill but i may try the bike too. so we ahve

tat all avaialbe and we are in hte process of cleaing out the covered carport so

we havea place to set them up. i cant wait i am rady for my gazelle to be set

up for me.

as for doing things i enjoy, we have just about got my coca cola/craft room

done, it is a 15 x 30 room that is decorated up in coca cola, red walls, black

floor and trim, white ceiling. all my stuff is stored in coke crates or in

things painted red or black to match, i have an embroidery sewing machine i

havent used yet and a regualr sewing machine that i am ready to use. probably

anohter 2-3weeks of minor stuff and my room will be ready. but i still have

done my crafts, i make fleece blankets, and fleece pillows. and i plan on

making alot ofthings for dogs, fancy bandanas et. so i have that i enjoy to do

and with the big tv i can watch my movies or a tv program. plus i am in hte

middle of my coke collection which is very relaxing to me.

and one more thing i have that i am so grateful for, is the love of my

husband, we werent married when my dad asked us to move down to florida from

tenn to take care of him donnie left his large family of brothers and sisters

and his mom and came to florida to help me take care of daddy. and with lbd you

know how ugly things can get, daddy was ugly mny times to me, donnie or both,

after one year of takingcare of daddy donnie and i got married and he is the

best thing that has ever happened to me, no matter how sick i am, he iswillig to

do whatever it takes to make me happy, and with him i am happy he is my soulmate

we complete each others lives along wiht God's blessings

thank you so much for all the wonderful suggestions hugs, shoarn

Patti Winters wrote:

Sharon,

There are some things we can do (with or without family history).

*First, and maybe most difficult, is to have a positive attitude. I

remember the AZ study on Nuns. They did brain autopsies on a group of

nuns. It showed that some, even though they had the physical

diagnosis, did not have the symptoms of AZ during their lives. They

believed that it was their positive attitude that caused this to occur.

*Eat right. There was a great posting on power foods recently. I

think in the back of our minds we know what to eat. But, this was a

very concise list. I also strongly believe in daily fish oil for

myself and my husband. Also, I just bought a juicer to make sure we

get the needed fruits and veggies in our diet.

*Exercise. Walk, ride a bike, garden, anything that will make you

move. It is also shown that being outside greatly benefits our stress

level. I racewalk and my husband bikes. It's hard at times to explain

to hospice when they call that the hubby is riding his bike. But, I

know he needs it now more than ever.

*Do anything possible to help deal with stress. Read, write in a

journal, knit, crochet, bubble bath, bake a cake, read a book, full

spectrum lights (I can see a difference in myself and we're in

Florida), lavender (I get the Bath & Body Works spray and spray it on

the bed), lift weights or any other exercise that gives you a

release, etc, etc. We are all different and like different things. It

has been hard on us to not go on any trips since my MIL got more ill.

So the best thing we've found for this is to take " one day vacations "

whenever we can. Since we live close to Orlando, we are able to hit a

theme park for the day after visiting her to make sure she's ok. Kind

of the make lemonade thing.

If anyone out there likes to read, I'd recommend " Ageless Face,

Ageless Mind: Erase Wrinkles and Rejuvenate the Brain " by

Perricone MD. I can't seem to find the time to sit down with a book

as much as I'd like to, but have enjoyed downloading books from

Audible.com, and have listened to this one twice.

Hope this help,

Patti

---------------------------------

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February 14, 2008

Sharon,

You surely have a lot to be thankful for. You're husband sound as

wonderful as mine. Not many of those out there! And your craft room

sounds like a piece of heaven. Your exercise porch is going to be

better than any gym once that gets completed. You're a very blessed

women.

I'm sorry you had to experience so much in so short a period of

time. You're definately in my thoughts and prayers.

Patti

In LBDcaregivers , Sharon Murray

wrote:

>

> patti,

>

> thank you for your wonderful letter, we took care of my dad

until he died in sept 2005. and i was very active in this group

until this past oct when i had to have some kidney surgeries and i

have just not been able to bounce back like i used to.

>

> but your letter was very informative and very true andvery

appreciated. up until recently i have hada positive attitude but

since my surgeries and during thattime my mil was diagsnosed then

died of lung cancer. my husband was worn out traveling between his

mom in tenn welive in pensacola florida and coming home to take me

to jacksonville for my procedures. his mom was diagnosed oct 12,

hewas in tenn, he came home the 14th, we left the 15th to go to

jaciksonville, and the 16-20 i was in the hospital, we stayed at

carol's until i had my last tube removed from my kidney on the 26th

it took us 2 days to get home as i couldnt sit that long *6-7 hours

* normally. so we got home the 27th, we got a phone call teh 28th

at 4pm that donnie should leave in the morning as mom took a serious

turn to the worse and is dying. then at 10pmwe got a call for him

to come NOW. we are 9-10 hours from tenn. he and most of the family

got to spend monday with mom she died on hallween

> morning, it was so hard for me to stayhome but i couldnt sit long

enough for him to get there in a reasonable amount of time. so while

he was holding his moms hand as she took her last breath, i was here

at home praying for them all. it was the hardest thing in my life

that i ever did not be there for him when his mom died. but hewas

right when he refused to let me go there with him, i was NOT up to

it.

> but back to your letter, positive attitude we are both working

on that, we are trying to catch up on all the missed payments from

the october and november donnie has since decided to go to truck

driving school. as his brother is going to live with us, so donnie

can travel and make good money and knowthat i am ok becuase his

brother is living with us. so that is a great attitude adjuster

there.

>

> eating right , well we are working on that too.

>

> exercise, that can be difficult becuase i have a urostomy bag

and if i sweat too much it falls off and i pee everywhere, but we

bowl in a league every firday nite i only bowl with a light 8 lb

ball but yes i do bowl and love it. and donnie bought me one

ofthose gazelles that you see advertised on tv, not quite a

treadmill. we are setting that up, and my brother in law has a

treadmill he uses as he had a triple bypass not quite 2 years ago

and then he also has a standing bike for riding, i cant use the

treadmill but i may try the bike too. so we ahve tat all avaialbe

and we are in hte process of cleaing out the covered carport so we

havea place to set them up. i cant wait i am rady for my gazelle

to be set up for me.

>

> as for doing things i enjoy, we have just about got my coca

cola/craft room done, it is a 15 x 30 room that is decorated up in

coca cola, red walls, black floor and trim, white ceiling. all my

stuff is stored in coke crates or in things painted red or black to

match, i have an embroidery sewing machine i havent used yet and a

regualr sewing machine that i am ready to use. probably anohter 2-

3weeks of minor stuff and my room will be ready. but i still have

done my crafts, i make fleece blankets, and fleece pillows. and i

plan on making alot ofthings for dogs, fancy bandanas et. so i have

that i enjoy to do and with the big tv i can watch my movies or a

tv program. plus i am in hte middle of my coke collection which is

very relaxing to me.

>

> and one more thing i have that i am so grateful for, is the love

of my husband, we werent married when my dad asked us to move down

to florida from tenn to take care of him donnie left his large

family of brothers and sisters and his mom and came to florida to

help me take care of daddy. and with lbd you know how ugly things

can get, daddy was ugly mny times to me, donnie or both, after one

year of takingcare of daddy donnie and i got married and he is the

best thing that has ever happened to me, no matter how sick i am, he

iswillig to do whatever it takes to make me happy, and with him i am

happy he is my soulmate we complete each others lives along wiht

God's blessings

> thank you so much for all the wonderful suggestions hugs, shoarn

>

> Patti Winters wrote:

> Sharon,

>

> There are some things we can do (with or without family history).

>

> *First, and maybe most difficult, is to have a positive attitude.

I

> remember the AZ study on Nuns. They did brain autopsies on a group

of

> nuns. It showed that some, even though they had the physical

> diagnosis, did not have the symptoms of AZ during their lives.

They

> believed that it was their positive attitude that caused this to

occur.

>

> *Eat right. There was a great posting on power foods recently. I

> think in the back of our minds we know what to eat. But, this was

a

> very concise list. I also strongly believe in daily fish oil for

> myself and my husband. Also, I just bought a juicer to make sure

we

> get the needed fruits and veggies in our diet.

>

> *Exercise. Walk, ride a bike, garden, anything that will make you

> move. It is also shown that being outside greatly benefits our

stress

> level. I racewalk and my husband bikes. It's hard at times to

explain

> to hospice when they call that the hubby is riding his bike. But,

I

> know he needs it now more than ever.

>

> *Do anything possible to help deal with stress. Read, write in a

> journal, knit, crochet, bubble bath, bake a cake, read a book,

full

> spectrum lights (I can see a difference in myself and we're in

> Florida), lavender (I get the Bath & Body Works spray and spray it

on

> the bed), lift weights or any other exercise that gives you a

> release, etc, etc. We are all different and like different things.

It

> has been hard on us to not go on any trips since my MIL got more

ill.

> So the best thing we've found for this is to take " one day

vacations "

> whenever we can. Since we live close to Orlando, we are able to

hit a

> theme park for the day after visiting her to make sure she's ok.

Kind

> of the make lemonade thing.

>

> If anyone out there likes to read, I'd recommend " Ageless Face,

> Ageless Mind: Erase Wrinkles and Rejuvenate the Brain " by

> Perricone MD. I can't seem to find the time to sit down with a

book

> as much as I'd like to, but have enjoyed downloading books from

> Audible.com, and have listened to this one twice.

>

> Hope this help,

> Patti

>

> ---------------------------------

> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with

Yahoo! Search.

>

February 14, 2008

patti,

i am blessed with mysoulmate, took 2 failed attemtps with peoplel with

addictions for me to realize tha i didnt have to live the life i grew up with

both parents alcoholics, mom a binger, friday nites, dad chronic,

i have alot of health issues that you will learn as i start writing

Andersen/Murray law strikes again lol. but i am glad that S, Jan and Jim

Colello, you, Ron, Imogene and others have found their soulmates, certainly

makes the tough times easier with someone that genuinely loves you without any

'buts' hugs. sharon