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Newland wrote:

>

>

> The aliens among us

> <http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2011/12/the-aliens-among-us/> /

> Discover Magazine

>

> Response to Amy Harmon's article, Navigating Love and Autism

>

<http://www.google.com/url?sa=X & q=http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/26/us/navigatin\

g-love-and-autism.html & ct=ga & cad=CAEQAhgAIAAoATAAOABA4oLl9wRIAVAAWABiBWVuLVVT & cd\

=ABzc6zk9O2M & usg=AFQjCNEs9HbJO5B3GmrgyeEdX6JJAyzcNw>

>

> http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2011/12/the-aliens-among-us/

>

> Comments?

I thought the points made about micro-norms were dead-on, .

Personally, I've never understood why so many Aspies feel that sharing a

label in common is enough to make for compatibility. In my experience,

we Aspies (as a group) are no more compatible with each other than we

are with NTs. lol

I was also pleased to see the reference to within-group conformity as a

major hallmark of human behavior, one that is probably biologically

wired in all of us.

Winner makes many references to this in her writing as

well, pointing out that even groups known to be nonconformist (by

mainstream standards) nonetheless exhibit within-group conformity among

their own kind. She often uses the classic 60s era hippie as an example

when writing about within-group conformity.

In my experience, sometimes it is the so-called nonconformist groups

that can be the most conforming in terms of their dress and values. I

wouldn't be surprised if some of the " purity tests " common to 'alt'

groups are even more restrictive than those out in mainstream culture.

Best,

~CJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Often we have to conform to the group's expectations in order to be

celebrated as unique within the group. " ~~ Winner

http://www.socialthinking.com/

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One thing I forgot to mention was the insight provided by one of the

commenters regarding the difficulty that some Aspies having in " agreeing

to disagree " . Not to mention the endless perseverating that won't allow

an argument to die until the perseverator has had the last word... sigh.

from the article comments...

" thing that rang true from the article is the tendency for aspies to

have difficulty with “agreeing to disagree.” cessation of argument over

differences is a temporary truce. that migh lead to problems of long

term group cohesion. "

Best,

~CJ

Newland wrote:

>

>

> The aliens among us

> <http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2011/12/the-aliens-among-us/> /

> Discover Magazine

>

> Response to Amy Harmon's article, Navigating Love and Autism

>

<http://www.google.com/url?sa=X & q=http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/26/us/navigatin\

g-love-and-autism.html & ct=ga & cad=CAEQAhgAIAAoATAAOABA4oLl9wRIAVAAWABiBWVuLVVT & cd\

=ABzc6zk9O2M & usg=AFQjCNEs9HbJO5B3GmrgyeEdX6JJAyzcNw>

>

> http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2011/12/the-aliens-among-us/

>

> Comments?

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>

> Personally, I've never understood why so many Aspies feel that sharing a

> label in common is enough to make for compatibility. In my experience,

> we Aspies (as a group) are no more compatible with each other than we

> are with NTs. lol

I know this first hand.

--Liz

Aspie divorcing Aspie … and his AS traits had a lot to do with it!

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> > > > > > > Personally, I've never understood why so many Aspies feel that sharing a > > label in common is enough to make for compatibility. In my experience, > > we Aspies (as a group) are no more compatible with each other than we > > are with NTs. lolOn the one hand, I find that my asper rigidity and need to have it "right" can make it harder to get along with someone else with the same personality traits but different conception of "right". On the other, my own awareness of AS and individual variation can also make me more tolerant, and maybe even understanding, of individual quirks. (I can't wear collars, you can't bear Gore-Tex - but we both have sensory issues, and I know that yours are as much of an issue for you as mine are for me.) I need to be in the back of the church next to a wall, he feels much better way up front - so we recognize how much it means for the other to stand in our safe place (I wouldn't do this for anyone but you....)Particularly distressing, though, for all concerned, is when I "get" where a toddler is coming from, but cannot comprehend or accept why the other teachers don't understand! (Aren't they supposed to be the ones with theory of mind AND child psychology?)Andromeda

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