Not in a good place right now

[Guest guest]

I'm feeling pretty down about all the losses I have suffered from this TC. Most

recently I have been unable to work because of unrelenting lumbar pain that

makes standing, sitting, walking -- any activity unbearable within minutes. I

consider myself lucky that I can still get relief from the pain when laying

flat. Even though when I lay flat I have spasms in my lumbar area that run down

the back of both legs. These spasms are so painful. But still better than the

pain I have from sitting, standing, or walking.

The loss from having to leave my work is heartbreaking for me. I loved my job.

Laying around makes me sad and anxious. I am a doer. My whole life up until

2004 I could manage the pain enough to raise my family, work, go to school. But

now my abiltiy to do things like I used to are over. And I am really

struggling.

I know I will feel better emotionally as time goes on. I have been through

other really hard things in my life so I know I am strong.

But just right now -- and just between me and all of you who also share this

disorder -- I am grieving the losses that come with having TC.

Your friend in TC, Marti