Re: Social Isolation

[Guest guest]

Oh , I hate to have to agree with you, but you are right. I lost a lot of

friends when I was dealing with my husband and cancer. Most must of thought it

was catching and stayed away. Now that I am dealing with my own pain and I am in

new surroundings, people just

don't understand I really can't socialize much.

It's sad because now I am an old woman struggling alone. (I do have support of

my children here in California), but for the most part, I still struggle alone.

Thanks for saying it like I couldn't.

Gentle hugs from southern Califonia

Ro

[Guest guest]

Subject: Re: Social Isolation

Hello Ro!

What part of Southern California are you in? I spent a great deal of time in

Santa Ana. I loved going to Laguna Beach and watching the people play speed

chess and the surfers and kites and kids and naturally all the bathing beauties

(Ha. Ha).

And talk about people watching at Venice Beach!/! That is truly an experience

at any age. I think it was more enjoyable than Knott's Berry Farm and

Disneyland.

Ron in Dallas

[Guest guest]

I know it's true that the pain changes the way the

world looks to us and the way we react to it.

It's true that I've had times when I don't even

recognize myself. I definitely don't do things the

same happy, energetic, passionate way I used to.

I used to be known for that, so most people are

confused and put off by my new self. I was a sort of

characature to them, I guess. Always ready to cheer or

encourage or advocate. They didn't know me beyond

that, really.

I've never had visitors to my house or phone calls,

nothing like that. I have always been the one to call

and 'check in' with others, concerned for them and

what not. If I weren't, I wouldn't even have that.

All my intimate friendships have developed from chance

encounters, but I make it a point to never abandon a

friendship. I try to keep up with important dates and

call every now and then to make sure they're ok.

As a result I have three friends that are friendly towards

me as well, and with whom I have common ideals and understanding. One is a

Christian, one is Atheist and one is Jewish and they're spread out far and away,

Canada, New York and North Carolina. I haven't seen any of them in 3 years.

Every other part of my life I do alone. I work now, in

a small office and am friendly with the other workers,

but we work all day long, so it's down to 'how are

you's and 'have a good weekend's.

I live alone, 1000 miles away from any family, see no one on the

weekends. It's been this way for me since I left my

parent's home and I keep trying to change it, but it's

a big circle, you know?

I continually reach out, but don't get much in return.

The good thing is that no matter what the body is

doing, the mind is allowed to find new pathways.

Those of you who are married, especially those of you

who are supported by your spouse, seems like you'd

feel a bit blessed by that at least.

Or is it better to always be alone, like I am? I'm not

sure.

Sometimes I think it would be better to have

someone to yell at, but I don't think it would be too

much to ask if it were possible to have someone who

actually wanted to spend time with me, and who

wouldn't mind if I needed to go 'cave' for a while to

deal with my pain.

thanks

Uabi

--- Wells wrote:

I have a new identiy now....that of a moaning,

> groaning lonely middle aged woman. I don't like this

> person I have become.

>

> KT