You'll Know Yours Is A Redneck Church If:

[Guest guest]

1. The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a

chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two

fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to

catch'em.

3. The pastor says, " I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering. "

Then five guys and two women stand up.

4. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel drive truck

because " It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get

out of. "

6. The choir is known as the " OK Chorale " .

7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in

the church directory.

8. Baptism is referred to as " branding " .

9. There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

10. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable

11. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

12. People think " rapture " is what you get when you lift something too

heavy.

13. The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.

14. The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from)

Bob's Barbecue.

15. The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy

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