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> Gottman has studied heterosexual and same sex relationships. The challenges

couples face turn out to be very similar. I'm sure this is a surprise to many,

as it is logical to assume that there would be fewer misunderstandings in same

sex partnerships. Ah, there is much we need to understand about the relationship

" roles " that each partner assumes. .. Others?

Whether heterosexual or same-sex relationships, each person is in a

different place on the male/female continuum. Not only with respect to

gender/relationship roles, but fundamental emotional wiring. IOW, some

men are more in tune emotionally, much in the way that is more closely

associated with women. The reverse is also true. Taken together, it all

affects a couple's ability to communicate with each other.

Best,

~CJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let your wise mind be governing your words, not your emotions.

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Whether heterosexual or same-sex relationships, each

person is in a

different place on the male/female continuum. Not only

with respect to

gender/relationship roles, but fundamental emotional

wiring. IOW, some

men are more in tune emotionally, much in the way that is

more closely

associated with women. The reverse is also true. Taken

together, it all

affects a couple's ability to communicate with each other.

Okay, I have run across this paradigm in many different discussions,

and it still confuses me. If we are all in different places

vis-a-vis male/female characteristics, such that a given male may be

more "female" in certain ways than a particular female, how does it

make sense to call these traits male and female?

Thanks for any clarification.

Andromeda

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On 8/27/2012 2:48 PM, Luxenburg

wrote:

Okay, I have run across this paradigm in many different

discussions, and it still confuses me. If we are all in different

places vis-a-vis male/female characteristics, such that a given

male may be more "female" in certain ways than a particular

female, how does it make sense to call these traits male and

female?

Thanks for any clarification.

They are only male and female traits and behaviors in the sense that

they are traits and behaviors most common to males and females,

based partially on cultural values and partially on temperament and

biological differences. When people speak of male and female traits

and behaviors, they are really referring to the conventional traits

and behaviors that a society has come to associate with gender.

In truth, a continuum has always existed, with people hiding or

denying certain (opposite sex) traits and behaviors within

themselves in order to be seen as 'normal' for their gender.

Not sure I'm explaining this well... I know what I want to say, yet

am just having trouble articulating the idea. Perhaps someone else

can improve on it.

Best,

~CJ

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