(No subject)

[Guest guest]

>

> hey mary, i hope (oh well, hope is for kids) it's ok, if i pop in

> here, it's just i would like to drop in my two cents to what you

> have written.

***Hi Rose ~

This subject of suicide makes me think of hearing kt say that when

she hears about someone commiting suicide, she gets kind of, what

she would call, excited for them. 'cause she knows how painful an

unquestioned mind is. Some people find a way 'out' thru the work,

some thru meditation, drugs, etc., and some thru suicide. In our

story, some choices are better than others, 'higher' lets say. Can

I really know that things havent happened EXACTLY as they were meant

to happen? I am not where kt appears to be with this, and I dont

pretend to be. However, I do see her as clear and what she says

reasonates with something inside of me that feels true. All of the

horrible, sad, terrifying stories we have about death don't ring as

true for me as they once did. We can't save each other (and when I

am in the presence of an expressed 'need' I can choose to meet it if

I am able to ~ that feels good and kind to me)...my partner's

brother shot himself, and I see he did what he needed to do for

himself. I see him as free ~ and yes, this is my story and it feels

balanced, peaceful and kind to me. If I still wished it had

happened differently, I see that I would have to change all that is,

all of history....I tried that for many years, I prefer now to see

things as unfolding as they are meant to (when I do).

Anyway, thank you for this topic. I appreciate it.

Cheers,

>

> trees which were burnt, fruit flies, and elephant are not that

> desperate that they think about comitting suicide. that's the

> difference to me. and especially, when i learn that the background

> of that depression is a lack of a certain substance within the

> organism. if i had known that before, i would have made sure, that

> our friend would have been in a closed environment, till they had

> found the right substance. a cousin of these two people is also

> affected from that genetical defekt. he also became depressed.

> luckily he found a doc, which picked out the right medicine for

him,

> and within two hrs after taking the first pill, his depression

> started to vanish so noticable/remarkably, that he wondered what

has

> been before, and felt himself like rather changed.

> don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with dying, not even

> commiting suicide. it's just, i really like it ; -), when there is

> an easy way out, like having a cup of coffee, or going to a

dentist,

> or getting a warm sweater, or doing the work, or taking a pill. i

> love that easiness. our friend loved to live, when he was ok. we

had

> so much fun together, and we, my darling and me, lack his

uniqueness

> and the joy we experienced in that friendship.

> if i had to choose, a little medication or suicide, what would i

> choose? what would you choose?

> i know you (maybe/my story) come from the premise, that you are

not

> here (i don't think i can leave this world, cuz i don't think i'm

> here.)

> well me, in my ego state, in my personality i am here, with that

> heavy, paraliysed body. i know feeling just like a field of

sparks,

> not located also, and, you know, when i wonder about things, i

> defenitly have a feeling of being here. ; -) (my daughter goes to

> the Apartheit topic of south africa in school currently and we

have

> had several talks about that lately)

>

> hm. one more little thing, i know a farmer from australia who

> reported, that his impression was, that one of his cows committed

> suicide, when it/she was heavily injured, so maybe even animals

have

> that opportunity.

>

> is that knowledge neccessary/important for me and my life?. i

don't

> know. it's just, life is far more than my little thinking

apparatus

> can squeeze in, and that little cow story is like a reminder to

me.

>

> love, rose.

>

>

> > > based on what she has said, that she sees death as equal to

> life, i

> > > would think not...do you find the thought of 'death' sad mary?

> >

> > No, no and yet, well, maybe sometimes. Trees got burned up. And

> yet a

> > thousand years from now all those trees would be gone anyway. A

> fruit

> > fly lives around 24 hours, an elephant much longer, some trees

500

> years.

> >

> > I think maybe I die everytime I go to sleep. says dying is

> like

> > going to sleep. And every time I wake up I am born.

> >

> > Or maybe going to sleep and awakening are nothing more than

going

> from

> > one room to another in a house.

> >

> > Ah, I see a story is running. Even that I see it is a story.

> >

> > hahahohohee

> >

>