work on the work

[Guest guest]

i am angry and disappointed in The Work because it " lies " to me. it makes

me feel worse, and i can't see through my thoughts. it makes me feel

defective and " left out " of the happiness it promises. The Work should work!

1. of course it's true! check the advertising!

2. in my experience, it really dosen't make me feel more clear, more

peaceful or more happy with the issues i " work " on. so, NO. i don't know.

3. i feel resentful and angry. i read katie's " wisdom " and think: fraud.

bullshitter. it makes me feel trapped in my own prison w/ no way out.

doomed to repeat the same painful experiences over and over again because i

can't

see through " the lie " (what if the painful truth is just the truth?). a lot

of the time the turnarounds make me feel worse than the original statements.

it feels like an intense pressure in my heart, very painful.

4. i don't know. i would just think the work was an exercise in denial and

self-deception...but wouldn't keep trying to get it right. i would let go

of the need to keep trying. maybe find something else. i would let go of the

hope of the work " working " . which actually might be more peaceful! *but i

don't want to. i want to get it right!*

TA's

the work shouldn't work. this seems to be the reality of it for me. why

keep trying to make it happen?

i should " work " . as in, i feel broken and confused sometimes, and i think i

shouldn't. well, this is true. as in, maybe if i really did the work more

often, every day, it would start sinking in.

i should work harder at doing the work. maybe this is true. except that it

feels painful and confusing to do it most times, so maybe the kindest thing

is to leave it alone. which i also do!

okay, i feel like i'm in a hall of mirrors...

thanks for reading!

jeremy