Re: Judging Your Neighbor/Self, Write it Down

[Guest guest]

Hi Joy

I'd judge your family first - particularly what

Judging Your Neighbor/Self, Write it Down

OK - it's not my neighbor, it is myself - and I want to get clear

till self-realization - at least some space to breathe in. I need

some help with finding out what it is about myself that I need to

judge in order to ask the questions. So maybe you can help. The

situation I am in is that basically my family to me is a non-entity.

I have no desire to be in contact with them, too much stuff has gone

down over the years. My cutting off from them has resulted in a kind

of aloofness from social contacts period. And this is an issue. I

think I have some reside of resentment towards my biological family -

but honestly can't pinpoint one thing about them or me in relation to

them or to myself that I can do an inquiry on. But I feel that this

is something to explore. Any suggestions?

Best wishes for doing the Work,

joy

[Guest guest]

suggests that people point outward when doing the Work. See if any of

these topics or something similar resonate with you:

My family should phone me more often.

My family should invite me for holidays.

My family should send me presents on my birthday.

My __________ should love me. (mother, sister, whatever.)

Even if you don't think any of these is the issue, try one just to see what

comes up, especially on the turnarounds.

Vivian

Judging Your Neighbor/Self, Write it Down

OK - it's not my neighbor, it is myself - and I want to get clear

till self-realization - at least some space to breathe in. I need

some help with finding out what it is about myself that I need to

judge in order to ask the questions. So maybe you can help. The

situation I am in is that basically my family to me is a non-entity.

I have no desire to be in contact with them, too much stuff has gone

down over the years. My cutting off from them has resulted in a kind

of aloofness from social contacts period. And this is an issue. I

think I have some reside of resentment towards my biological family -

but honestly can't pinpoint one thing about them or me in relation to

them or to myself that I can do an inquiry on. But I feel that this

is something to explore. Any suggestions?

Best wishes for doing the Work,

joy

[Guest guest]

Hi Vivien,

In pointing outwards, I feel more sorrow than accusation, more

resignation than even that. I don't feel rancor at them and hold zero

expectations towards them. This was given up long ago. I think maybe

the focus need be on *You are free now*.

hm.

joy

>

> suggests that people point outward when doing the Work. See

if any of these topics or something similar resonate with you:

>

> My family should phone me more often.

>

> My family should invite me for holidays.

>

> My family should send me presents on my birthday.

>

> My __________ should love me. (mother, sister, whatever.)

>

> Even if you don't think any of these is the issue, try one just to

see what comes up, especially on the turnarounds.

>

> Vivian

> Judging Your Neighbor/Self, Write it

Down

>

> OK - it's not my neighbor, it is myself - and I want to get clear

> till self-realization - at least some space to breathe in. I need

> some help with finding out what it is about myself that I need to

> judge in order to ask the questions. So maybe you can help. The

> situation I am in is that basically my family to me is a non-

entity.

> I have no desire to be in contact with them, too much stuff has

gone

> down over the years. My cutting off from them has resulted in a

kind

> of aloofness from social contacts period. And this is an issue. I

> think I have some reside of resentment towards my biological

family -

> but honestly can't pinpoint one thing about them or me in

relation to

> them or to myself that I can do an inquiry on. But I feel that

this

> is something to explore. Any suggestions?

>

> Best wishes for doing the Work,

> joy

>

>

[Guest guest]

mona says doing the work on yourself is difficult

because you have a motive , an outcome in mind..

and we are so attached to those kinds of self

judgements.. we arent open minded... enough to really

do the work.

she has a cd on doing the work when it feels like

its all about yourself..

called do i have to judge my neighbor?..

you could get one at letsdothework.com..

web page.. -

I cant remember it totally but you can do the work on

a person who you feel is like you.who feels or acts

like you do.. and judge them. .

or just on people in general..

I should be a better cook.. people should be good cooks..

Im too depressed .. people should not be depressed.

But based on what you have written.. i think you could

come up with something to write on your family..

I know i have a hard time as well.. but i think

with some time.. you can come up with a judge

your neighbor worksheet.. you can also write it

out as you felt years ago.. as a child.. for example.. .

PArents shouldnt argue.. Today it wouldnt bother me..

but as a child it did.. so you pretend you are that child

again.. and have the same feelings as a child..

and do the work from there..

i hope this helps.. roslyn

-- In Loving-what-is , " joyshechinah "

wrote:

>

> OK - it's not my neighbor, it is myself - and I want to get clear

> till self-realization - at least some space to breathe in. I need

> some help with finding out what it is about myself that I need to

> judge in order to ask the questions. So maybe you can help. The

> situation I am in is that basically my family to me is a non-entity.

> I have no desire to be in contact with them, too much stuff has gone

> down over the years. My cutting off from them has resulted in a kind

> of aloofness from social contacts period. And this is an issue. I

> think I have some reside of resentment towards my biological family -

> but honestly can't pinpoint one thing about them or me in relation to

> them or to myself that I can do an inquiry on. But I feel that this

> is something to explore. Any suggestions?

>

> Best wishes for doing the Work,

> joy

>

[Guest guest]

also mona has said when you have a belief..

to question about yourself or anything

... you can also ask so what ?

whats wrong with that?

whats not ok about that?

or who doesnt like that?

or who said that about you?

rh

> >

> > OK - it's not my neighbor, it is myself - and I want to get clear

> > till self-realization - at least some space to breathe in. I need

> > some help with finding out what it is about myself that I need to

> > judge in order to ask the questions. So maybe you can help. The

> > situation I am in is that basically my family to me is a non-entity.

> > I have no desire to be in contact with them, too much stuff has gone

> > down over the years. My cutting off from them has resulted in a kind

> > of aloofness from social contacts period. And this is an issue. I

> > think I have some reside of resentment towards my biological family -

> > but honestly can't pinpoint one thing about them or me in relation to

> > them or to myself that I can do an inquiry on. But I feel that this

> > is something to explore. Any suggestions?

> >

> > Best wishes for doing the Work,

> > joy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I'm new to this group and, from my training, seeing the word " judging "

so much requires me to get over a bad reaction to the word.

To me, judging is the " J " word which means it's not allowed in my class

(Internal Energy Plus class). The reason I don't allow that word in is

because it has tainted with a negative connotation.

Instead of judging, I stress entering into a centered state where you

feel the emotion you are feeling but it is not ruling you. It doesn't

take away your clarity and focus so you can find the next step to take.

Objectivity is what I would strive for, to make a rational, conscious,

aware decision about something because deciding is a much more positive

word than judging.

But, if you would, what is the implied meaning of the word " judging "

here?

In Truth,

Ahrens

http://scottahrens1.blogspot.com <http://scottahrens1.blogspot.com>

> > >

> > > OK - it's not my neighbor, it is myself - and I want to get clear

> > > till self-realization - at least some space to breathe in. I need

> > > some help with finding out what it is about myself that I need to

> > > judge in order to ask the questions. So maybe you can help. The

> > > situation I am in is that basically my family to me is a

non-entity.

> > > I have no desire to be in contact with them, too much stuff has

gone

> > > down over the years. My cutting off from them has resulted in a

kind

> > > of aloofness from social contacts period. And this is an issue. I

> > > think I have some reside of resentment towards my biological

family -

> > > but honestly can't pinpoint one thing about them or me in relation

to

> > > them or to myself that I can do an inquiry on. But I feel that

this

> > > is something to explore. Any suggestions?

> > >

> > > Best wishes for doing the Work,

> > > joy

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

i misquoted mona.. she says its ok to have a motive

just notice it and make peace with the motive..

giovanni says sometimes when you do the work with a motive

its internal violence just notice that..

but dont be at war with motives.. make peace

So what if you have a mtoive do the work anyway..

Also realize that the work doesnt always work..

or may work later.. and there are other tools

to use.. talking to a friend etc.

i sometimes misquote.. sorry roslyn

In Loving-what-is , " mrcitrus6 " wrote:

>

> mona says doing the work on yourself is difficult

> because you have a motive , an outcome in mind..

> and we are so attached to those kinds of self

> judgements.. we arent open minded... enough to really

> do the work.

> she has a cd on doing the work when it feels like

> its all about yourself..

> called do i have to judge my neighbor?..

> you could get one at letsdothework.com..

> web page.. -

> I cant remember it totally but you can do the work on

> a person who you feel is like you.who feels or acts

> like you do.. and judge them. .

> or just on people in general..

> I should be a better cook.. people should be good cooks..

> Im too depressed .. people should not be depressed.

> But based on what you have written.. i think you could

> come up with something to write on your family..

> I know i have a hard time as well.. but i think

> with some time.. you can come up with a judge

> your neighbor worksheet.. you can also write it

> out as you felt years ago.. as a child.. for example.. .

> PArents shouldnt argue.. Today it wouldnt bother me..

> but as a child it did.. so you pretend you are that child

> again.. and have the same feelings as a child..

> and do the work from there..

>

> i hope this helps.. roslyn

>

>

>

> -- In Loving-what-is , " joyshechinah " <adamatova@>

> wrote:

> >

> > OK - it's not my neighbor, it is myself - and I want to get clear

> > till self-realization - at least some space to breathe in. I need

> > some help with finding out what it is about myself that I need to

> > judge in order to ask the questions. So maybe you can help. The

> > situation I am in is that basically my family to me is a non-entity.

> > I have no desire to be in contact with them, too much stuff has gone

> > down over the years. My cutting off from them has resulted in a kind

> > of aloofness from social contacts period. And this is an issue. I

> > think I have some reside of resentment towards my biological family -

> > but honestly can't pinpoint one thing about them or me in relation to

> > them or to myself that I can do an inquiry on. But I feel that this

> > is something to explore. Any suggestions?

> >

> > Best wishes for doing the Work,

> > joy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Roslyn,

What I've found useful is to check out my motives when coming to the

Work and look at doing The Work on those, such as:

" I want a better life "

" I don't want to feel like this "

Here's one I've worked on in the past - " I want to feel better " :

http://www.selfhappiness.com/2007/10/inquiry-i-want-to-feel-better.html

With love,

Jon

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Welcome to the group.

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me judging means the negative

thoughts and beliefs that you mention.

In " Loving What Is " there is quite a bit about not being spiritual

with our judgments, getting real instead and also about getting really

petty, letting the ego run riot on paper.

That's one of the great things about The Work for me - it's not about

trying to resist or manipulate how I feel - it's actually about the

opposite, really going into it, allowing the emotions without trying

to change them, expressing my judgments AND then inquiring into them.

I remember when I first started with The Work the relief that I felt

from simply having somewhere to take all of this stuff that I was

either suppressing or was coming out as anger, irritation, annoyance.

I hope this helps,

Jon

[Guest guest]

I love the brilliance of yours and Hillary's responses about judgement, Jon. It

is very clarifying. I'm getting some real clarity about the ego from your

responses. I'm hearing that if the ego is not allowed it's place, it will pop

up somewhere else--and it may not be very pretty.

I'm also getting more clarity on the knowing that awareness is Presence. And

the more present I am, the more I can see beyond the ego.

So the work allows the ego to come out and play, while who I really am gets to

observe. What a great way to foster awareness. You know, I never even thought

about it that way. Wow!

I know that has said that when she first woke up, she did the work

constantly. And gradually it became unnecessary to do it so much. I remember

thinking as I read that that it would seem that her enlightenment would make it

so unnecessary to do the work. But I now see that had the witness

activated--the awareness of the ego without buying into it's negativity.

As I become more present, I am more able to catch myself in a negative state

and just witness it. And the awareness of it being ego helps to move past it.

But, wow, if I really let it play in all it's anger and judgment, I can shine

the light of awareness on it and watch it dissolve.

I'm going back to The Work!! My ego needs time to play while I watch!

Thanks, Jon and Hillary!

mary s

Jon Willis wrote:

Hi ,

Welcome to the group.

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me judging means the negative

thoughts and beliefs that you mention.

In " Loving What Is " there is quite a bit about not being spiritual

with our judgments, getting real instead and also about getting really

petty, letting the ego run riot on paper.

That's one of the great things about The Work for me - it's not about

trying to resist or manipulate how I feel - it's actually about the

opposite, really going into it, allowing the emotions without trying

to change them, expressing my judgments AND then inquiring into them.

I remember when I first started with The Work the relief that I felt

from simply having somewhere to take all of this stuff that I was

either suppressing or was coming out as anger, irritation, annoyance.

I hope this helps,

Jon

---------------------------------

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

thanks jon.. my big one is i want to be better..

Neal donald Walsch says get rid of the word and idea of better..

no better just different..

will check out the link.. thanks.. rh

-- In Loving-what-is , " Jon Willis " wrote:

>

> Hi Roslyn,

>

> What I've found useful is to check out my motives when coming to the

> Work and look at doing The Work on those, such as:

>

> " I want a better life "

> " I don't want to feel like this "

>

> Here's one I've worked on in the past - " I want to feel better " :

>

> http://www.selfhappiness.com/2007/10/inquiry-i-want-to-feel-better.html

>

> With love,

>

> Jon

>

[Guest guest]

i can relate.. my wanting to be better.. was a

desire to feel better.. of course.. same thing..

and it does make a person feel worse..

good work.. rh -

-- In Loving-what-is , " Jon Willis " wrote:

>

> Hi Roslyn,

>

> What I've found useful is to check out my motives when coming to the

> Work and look at doing The Work on those, such as:

>

> " I want a better life "

> " I don't want to feel like this "

>

> Here's one I've worked on in the past - " I want to feel better " :

>

> http://www.selfhappiness.com/2007/10/inquiry-i-want-to-feel-better.html

>

> With love,

>

> Jon

>

[Guest guest]

hi joy ~

i see these beliefs in what you wrote that you could do the work on

(it can be amazingly helpful to do the work on even those most

innocent seeming thoughts when we can't pin point somethign that we

think is significant)

~ my family has become a non-entity

~ too much has gone down over the years between us

~i need more social contact

~i am too aloof

~ i need to be clearer

~ i need to be self-realised

questionign any one of these thoughts would be helpful for me...and

may lead to underlying beliefs that arent showing up yet.

wishing you well,

c

>

> Well, is it like: I have the " bad " family, and I should have

another one?

> You could pick one family member at a time.

>

> Don't try to swallow too much at once.

>

> Keep it easy.

>

> Love,

>

>

>

> ----- Ursprüngliche Mail ----

> Von: joyshechinah

> An: Loving-what-is

> Gesendet: Montag, den 10. Dezember 2007, 14:23:48 Uhr

> Betreff: Judging Your Neighbor/Self, Write it Down

>

> OK - it's not my neighbor, it is myself - and I want to get clear

> till self-realization - at least some space to breathe in. I need

> some help with finding out what it is about myself that I need to

> judge in order to ask the questions. So maybe you can help. The

> situation I am in is that basically my family to me is a non-

entity.

> I have no desire to be in contact with them, too much stuff has

gone

> down over the years. My cutting off from them has resulted in a

kind

> of aloofness from social contacts period. And this is an issue. I

> think I have some reside of resentment towards my biological

family -

> but honestly can't pinpoint one thing about them or me in relation

to

> them or to myself that I can do an inquiry on. But I feel that this

> is something to explore. Any suggestions?

>

> Best wishes for doing the Work,

> joy

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Machen Sie Yahoo! zu Ihrer Startseite. Los geht's:

> http://de.yahoo.com/set

>

>