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Re: Turn Around Help

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you cant kick a ball or yell.. youll scare the sheep..

once you write on here .. everyone answers.. but you

dont have to agree or read the stuff..

you could do the work on your neighbor or their sheep..

sheep should not poop is it true.?

im trying to be funny.. i would be annoyed if i could smell that

also.. sorry, roslyn

> >

> > Unloading on others frees up your energy. Is that true?

> >

> > A - It may be true as in the instance where throwing a tantrum takes

> > the edge off an unbearably tight feeling in the chest. It may feel

> > good to displace anger ordinarily directed at self onto another,

> > thereby freeing up some space within to gloat and feel smug and

> > superior. It may feel empowering to unload onto another, giving them

> > a part of your high and mighty knowledge and wisdom about how things

> > need to be. Ultimately, I think it's not true, it's a farce, it's

> > fake, it's a ploy by the ego, where for a moment you gain temporary

> > strength, but in the long run, you get left by the curb, because

> > after a while people get hip to your BS.

> >

> > TA - Unloading on others doesn't free up your energy

> > Unloading on yourself frees up your energy

> > Unloading on others frees up your energy

> > Unloading on yourself doesn't free up your energy.

> >

>

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Dearest Joy

This is a group of people helping each other. Not superficial help like

trying to share other people's pain. Not feeling sorry for others and in

that somehow reassure ourselves that we are better off than them. Not being

a sympathetic audience for people's problems. We are a group where honesty

prevails (most of the time :-)), we get down and dirty into the real issues,

rather than trying to molly coddle people and support their ongoing stories.

We all know the extent and eloborateness of our own stories, we recognise

our own stories in whatever anyone else shares. We have all been in enough

pain to have said: No more, I have had enough, I want to be free. We have

had glimpses of the freedom that lies beneath our stories.

Just glancing through your posts, I see you have as many stories as the rest

of us:

- People shouldn't tell me what is right

- It is 's fault that I dropped my enquiry

- is negative

- My family should be free

- People shouldn't give feedback unless I ask them

- I shouldn't be bleeding

- I shouldn't be menopausal (well, I can almost share your pain here :-))

- My washing machine shouldn't have broken down

- I shouldn't live in a war zone

- I shouldn't have sheep or bedouin living next to me

- I shouldn't have the smell of feces and urine in my brain

- I am much worse off than anyone else, they can't understand how bad my

situation really is

What I see is a person who has almost reached her threshold of pain. I see a

person who projects even her desire for her own freedom onto others, not

daring to admit yet that she wants freedom more than pain.

If you post on the list you will get comments, that is the reality, that is

what we do. The comments are all loving, the whole universe is loving you

and supporting you and waiting for you to choose freedom. I hope you stay

around long enough to see the negativity you now perceive is deep love and

caring, that what you may see as criticism comes from clarity, a clarity

that you can choose to guide you to freedom.

Love

Hanle

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This week I have read a book called " Broken Open " by Lesser

- about changing through difficult times and coming out of those times.

She has previously been a midwife and talks about the similarities

between childbirth and life changes (what she calls the 'Phoenix

process').

The contractions in the uterus, the purpose of which is to widen the

cervix, so that the baby be born. How these contractions in our own

lives, and the pain around these changes, can be seen in the same way

- delivering a new 'us'.

It's something that rings true for me at the moment and in the times

when the contractions hit, doing The Work goes out of the window and I

try to just hold this image in mind :-)

It is helping to put many changes into perspective.

And Joy, she also talks about her menopause - another Phoenix process.

With love,

Jon

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I think I have to just outline this - I am in the desert - with

bedouins - I rented this place for a year. It's 3 months now since I

moved in. Moved 8 times in 4.5 years. I am with 4 cats that keep on

moving with me. Money is tight. I am hypersensitive to everything. I

chose this place not knowing that this would be my situation. The

sheepherders moved in a month after I did. I cannot leave the house

because of burning garbage and sheep shit and urine smell. So I spend

my days on the net, trying to find a job that I can work from home and

between all that, maintain my sanity with making music and cleaning the

house. When I do have to leave - it's for food. I am counting the

minutes till I can move to a final place - my own place - where I can

breathe easier and not be interfered with by pollution and harmful

things to me. I don't believe in kicking milk cartons - or anything

like that. I think it's stupid personally. What I like is kicking ass.

Literally - so I do martial arts from time to time - and singing for

salvation also does.

That's it - my little life in a war zone. Thanks for the tip though -

joy

> >

> > Unloading on others frees up your energy. Is that true?

> >

> > A - It may be true as in the instance where throwing a tantrum

takes

> > the edge off an unbearably tight feeling in the chest. It may feel

> > good to displace anger ordinarily directed at self onto another,

> > thereby freeing up some space within to gloat and feel smug and

> > superior. It may feel empowering to unload onto another, giving

them

> > a part of your high and mighty knowledge and wisdom about how

things

> > need to be. Ultimately, I think it's not true, it's a farce, it's

> > fake, it's a ploy by the ego, where for a moment you gain

temporary

> > strength, but in the long run, you get left by the curb, because

> > after a while people get hip to your BS.

> >

> > TA - Unloading on others doesn't free up your energy

> > Unloading on yourself frees up your energy

> > Unloading on others frees up your energy

> > Unloading on yourself doesn't free up your energy.

> >

>

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Of course it's funny. Because you're Roslyn and I'm Joy. 2 different

people with 2 different POV's - and one has thinner skin than the

other. It also happens that this email affected me in an adverse way.

But please have a laugh. It's all good. So anyway - take care - Joy

> > > >

> > > > Apparently it is not true, at least not right now. It might be

> > true

> > > or at least more true at some time in the future.

> > > >

> > > > I can think of many reasons for not wanting someone else to

share

> > > the responsibility of doing housework. Can you? Perhaps writing

> > down

> > > some of those reasons would make you appreciate the freedom and

> > > flexibility you currently enjoy to do housework your way.

> > > >

> > > > Vivian

> > >

> > >

> > > Heute schon einen Blick in die Zukunft von E-Mails wagen?

> > Versuchen Sie´s mit dem neuen Yahoo! Mail. www.yahoo.de/mail

> > >

> > >

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