Guest guest Posted December 19, 2011 Report Share Posted December 19, 2011 Liz Cademy wrote: > Because we care for people who value the tradition. This sentence just about says it all, Liz. It's all about the ability and willingness to bend and honor a tradition because it is important to others. Given the theory-of-mind deficits that afflict many Aspies, this concept may be lost on them, however. Best, ~CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2011 Report Share Posted December 19, 2011 Are you from Thailand? > > > ..... Trying to ramp up for the reality of what this Christmas will be. > > I think it's fairly well established that Christmas parties and Aspies > generally don't go well together, isn't it? > > I have to admit that I personally take a Scrooge-like maybe even > Puritannical view of it all. I simply can't see how all the excesses > and indulgence can all be justified when so many people around the world > are in such difficult economic straights. Why is it necessary to > participate in all this rigmarole? > > Anyway, for what it's worth, I've found a very good solution to it > myself by spending the season in Buddhist Thailand where Christmas isn't > celebrated at all. Banks and schools and government departments here > are all open on the 25th as a normal working day. Hurray!! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2011 Report Share Posted December 19, 2011 > >> ..... Trying to ramp up for the reality of what this Christmas will be. > > I think it's fairly well established that Christmas parties and Aspies > generally don't go well together, isn't it? > > I have to admit that I personally take a Scrooge-like maybe even > Puritannical view of it all. I simply can't see how all the excesses > and indulgence can all be justified when so many people around the world > are in such difficult economic straights. Why is it necessary to > participate in all this rigmarole? Because we care for people who value the tradition. Not all of us can avoid the holiday gift-giving madness. Some of us have kids. [And every modern culture seems to have at least one " give gifts to kids " holiday.] Or relatives who judge us by our ability to give " appropriate " gifts. [Relatives we care about … I'm not suggesting we bust a gut finding the perfect gift for someone we dislike.] I have friends, NT, who give their teen daughters a list of gifts to give them. With prices, and everything is barely affordable for the girls. [skip going to every teen dance this season and buy Mom a new food processor.] It's not all an Aspie problem! We give gifts on Hanukkah, not Christmas. Over the years, I've minimized the angst of gift giving, so my kids and I were able to exchange lists for lower cost items without making a scene. But they're kids in the USA, gifts are required. And I'm happy in another way. The sheepskin slipper episode in my blog happened last year, and was the best gift my ex gave me in years. Most years, I buy my own " gifts " . One year, I even wrapped them for myself. It went right past him. I would e-mail him lists -- he ignored them. Finally, 6 months before he went psycho, I assembled a " book of Liz " that included, among other things, a list of occasions where I wanted gifts and a list of gifts. *That* got through … he picked one item and had me walk him through ordering the slippers, from a company he chose (not the one I suggested). 6 weeks later, the slippers were wearing out. So was the marriage. --Liz ---------- Cartesian Bear at Zazzle: Shirts and Gifts: http://www.zazzle.com/cartesianbear?rf=238831668488066559 Zazzle Coupons: http://www.zazzle.com/coupons?rf=238831668488066559 Knit Suite: Mobile Apps for Knitters http://knitsuite.polymathsolution.com Gifts for Knitters: http://www.squidoo.com/gifts-for-knitters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2011 Report Share Posted December 19, 2011 Yep. And my gifts this year cost extremely minimal. Nada. Zilch. I got very creative and looked for ways to create experiences for others cheaply, as opposed to going out to stores galore and buying things. Case in point #1. The local university had a silent auction for its autism program a couple of months ago. The basket I won had a retail value of $850.00 (you read that right). I won with a bid of only $75.00 (less than 10% of the basket's value). The adult autism books (which I wanted for Greater Chattanooga Aspies) had an estimated retail value of over $200.00. So, $200.00 for $75.00 is a pretty good deal, since it went for a good cause at the university. In addition to the books was a combination autism bracelet/necklace. Since the cost of the books took care of my winning bid, the bracelet/necklace was in essense, free. That is going as my gift to my best friend for Christmas, and it does have a puzzle piece attached to each the bracelet and necklace. Very nice. As a side note, the university has an autism program for students. The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga is one of them. UTC is the only one of the 15 that is of no cost to students. None. The others have a price tag that students (or their parents) will pay to be a part of since the these other programs do not receive enough funding. Case in point #2. My best friend's family has a tradition, where everyone buys only one gift and it can *not* be more than $5.00. Imagine what that does for creativity. What will I do? Bake a cake and bring it as my gift. It'll be a chocolate cake with chocolate icing. Thing is, I have had the ingredients for a couple of weeks already, and I did not plan on making the cake for a Christmas gift exchange. But since the challenge is to make something for less than $5.00, the cake is it. Besides, I got the ingredients from a local grocery store on sale for less than $5.00 (when adding everything up together). More like around $3.00. What I am trying to get at is that people have different ways of celebrating the holidays. If I lived in a country where the custom was to not celebrate Christmas (like Thailand), I wouldn't celebrate it with anyone else there but me (and those who celebrate it). But to celebrate it in the way I want to celebrate it, no one can tell me differently - regardless where I live around the world. > > > Because we care for people who value the tradition. > > > This sentence just about says it all, Liz. > > It's all about the ability and willingness to bend and honor a tradition > because it is important to others. > > Given the theory-of-mind deficits that afflict many Aspies, this concept > may be lost on them, however. > > Best, > ~CJ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2011 Report Share Posted December 19, 2011 gcaspiesinchatt wrote: > Case in point #2. My best friend's family has a tradition, where everyone buys only one gift and it can *not* be more than $5.00. Imagine what that does for creativity. What will I do? Bake a cake and bring it as my gift. It'll be a chocolate cake with chocolate icing. Thing is, I have had the ingredients for a couple of weeks already, and I did not plan on making the cake for a Christmas gift exchange. But since the challenge is to make something for less than $5.00, the cake is it. Besides, I got the ingredients from a local grocery store on sale for less than $5.00 (when adding everything up together). More like around $3.00. I trust her family likes chocolate cake? The reason I ask is because I've known lots of people (AS and NT alike) who bring a gift because: 1. It is convenient for them. 2. They received the item from someone else last year and banished it to a closet. 3. The item was purchased in a lot at great discount and they need to free up storage space. 4. The gift confirms their personal definition of 'creative'. 5. The item represents what *they* want the person to have, not what the recipient might actually enjoy. IOW, it's all about the *giver*, not the recipient. Don't get me started on my rant about holiday crafters who knit mittens every year for their brother (who lives in Miami Beach) because mittens are so very fun to knit. Or the guy who is so proud of his frugal nature (ugh!) that he regifts white elephants and deeply discounted miscellaneous items, announcing the item's pedigree (not to mention evidence of the giver's frugality) to each recipient. While some people might appreciate that information, in my experience most recipients would prefer to be left in the dark, under the illusion that the gift was actually selected with them personally in mind. Okay, I've stopped myself. With great difficulty. lol Best, ~CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2011 Report Share Posted December 19, 2011 Hi , On Mon, 19 Dec 2011 at 12:34:36 -0000, you asked: > Are you from Thailand? If you mean " Am I a native Thai? " the answer is no. Neither am I a citizen or a Buddhist, but this is where I spend quite a lot of my time. As with anywhere, there are pros and cons to being here, but being able to escape Christmas and the traditions that go with it is definitely one of the pros from my point of view. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2011 Report Share Posted December 19, 2011 I feel each person should do what is best for him or her, even if it goes against the view of many who think otherwise. So while I don't see the same as you do on this, you should do what you feel is best for you, . I can respect that. > > Hi , > > On Mon, 19 Dec 2011 at 12:34:36 -0000, you asked: > > > Are you from Thailand? > > If you mean " Am I a native Thai? " the answer is no. Neither am I a > citizen or a Buddhist, but this is where I spend quite a lot of my > time. As with anywhere, there are pros and cons to being here, but > being able to escape Christmas and the traditions that go with it is > definitely one of the pros from my point of view. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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