Re: update on post op complications

[Guest guest]

Hugs go out to you. In my life I have found that bad patches seem to show up in

bunches. In those times, I tell myself...just get through to the next hour, the

next day, the next week. Then, you can see more clearly. You'll know then

that this man did you guys a favor. He knew his own limits for love and

apparently he has a pretty narrow view of what love means. Talking about it and

leaning on your family is exactly the thing to do. Be strong and hug your son

too.

in Oregon

>

> Saw the NS wed. He doesn't think my bowel incontinence will improve or the

inability to urinate on my own either. He is sending me to a rehab specialist

for further eval. On a darker note. My fiance took me to the doc wed. When we

got home he said he couldn't handle my medical problems anymore & he was

leaving. As he was packing my son came in the room & he told him I don't love

your mom anymore because her medical problems are not getting better. He packed

& left. Not only dealing with the news from the docs but now this. I am truely

devestated.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow. How are you feeling about all this? You have quite alot to deal with. I

am hearing three life altering events that happened to you in one day. Your

medical issues. Your fiance abandoning you in your time of need. And the third

is he shared his insensitive reason for leaving with your son. How old is your

son? How inappropriate! Your fiance will only love you if you stay in good

health? What?

>

> Saw the NS wed. He doesn't think my bowel incontinence will improve or the

inability to urinate on my own either. He is sending me to a rehab specialist

for further eval. On a darker note. My fiance took me to the doc wed. When we

got home he said he couldn't handle my medical problems anymore & he was

leaving. As he was packing my son came in the room & he told him I don't love

your mom anymore because her medical problems are not getting better. He packed

& left. Not only dealing with the news from the docs but now this. I am truely

devestated.

>

[Guest guest]

HUGS. I'm so sorry for all that you are going through right now. I have lost

two relationships for the very same reason and it really really stings. It's not

like we have a choice, or are doing something that we can change. My last one

said. " I just cant deal with your pain "

HA! Try living with it! In all fairness, I think it was really more, " I just

cant deal with not being able to fix your pain " I can understand that in a way.

It is a very helpless feeling to watch a loved one suffer and not be able to fix

it. I am sure the parents of children with TCS (and other health issues) feel

the same way. Not that it excuses the behavior, no way. But, I guess everyone

has their limits and better to know now than later. But...what goes around comes

around and one day they too will be down and out.....I have never derived

pleasure from another persons misfortune but the first guy that dumped me

because he couldnt deal with my disabilities wound up in a motorcycle accident

about a month later. Thankfully he wasnt seriously hurt, but he was banged up

enough to realize that he could have been and he might have wound up worse than

me. He also realized that if that had occurred while we were together, I would

have stuck right by his side

and taken care of him as best I could. It was a real eyeopener for him and I

have to admit I got a good chuckle out of it (I know, shame on me but I'm human

dammit! lol) The truth of the matter is, none of us know from one minute to the

next what shape we will be in, thats where the whole for better or worse part

comes in.

TCS will teach you alot. It will teach you how to love yourself despite your

shortcomings, that you are not your body, that you are not " what you can or

cannot do " , that your worth is not based on " being " anything except yourself. It

will teach you your strengths, your weakness's and your capacity to carry on,

even when you are positive you cant and... it will teach you who truly loves

you. Dreams will be shattered ...new ones will emerge and somehow in the end, it

all makes sense.   Hang in there dear, you are stonger than you know.

Subject: Re: update on post op complications

To: tetheredspinalcord

Date: Saturday, March 6, 2010, 8:22 PM

 

Wow. How are you feeling about all this? You have quite alot to deal with. I am

hearing three life altering events that happened to you in one day. Your medical

issues. Your fiance abandoning you in your time of need. And the third is he

shared his insensitive reason for leaving with your son. How old is your son?

How inappropriate! Your fiance will only love you if you stay in good health?

What?

>

> Saw the NS wed. He doesn't think my bowel incontinence will improve or the

inability to urinate on my own either. He is sending me to a rehab specialist

for further eval. On a darker note. My fiance took me to the doc wed. When we

got home he said he couldn't handle my medical problems anymore & he was

leaving. As he was packing my son came in the room & he told him I don't love

your mom anymore because her medical problems are not getting better. He packed

& left. Not only dealing with the news from the docs but now this. I am truely

devestated.

>

[Guest guest]

Sab, et al

Thanks to those of you who send such wonderful, healing thoughts to various

members. I wanted you to know I print some of them out to save for my

daughter should the day come that she needs them. Gratefully, Randee

In a message dated 3/7/2010 5:38:47 P.M. Central Standard Time,

anirbas9@... writes:

First i am really sorry for what is happening to you.

Your situation has me thinking:

You are sick but he cannot handle it....

Your personnality is the same, you are still the same person he fell in

love with the only thing that changed is your health.

It makes me realise how sick people are strong, perseverent and have faith.

What is easy for some people is a completely different tasks for another

one.

I think it's better that he leaves you than that he stays for pity....

You cannot waste energy that you don't have for someone that cannot bring

you up but down.....

Please keep faith in love, true love, have faith in life.

Be yourself , be proud of who you are and overhall don't let anyone tell

you who or how to be.You have to cope with your situations let him handle

his and focus on you and your son, focus on getting the best life possible

for both of you.

Take pride and joy in little things: the big one will be gifts.

Just remember you are not alone and i am sending positive tought for your

situation to get better.

Take car of yourself

Sab

>

> Hello Stormy,

>

> Any man that leaves you when you are already feeling down and have some

health issues is not worth having around, sorry to say he probably did you

a favor, you might feel down in the dumps over it but it might be a

blessing, when you least expect it you will meet the man of your dreams who

will

love you for you...hang in there I know it might not seem so right now but

things will get better...

>

> Sharon

>

>

>

>

> ____________ ____ ____

> From: stormy <stormyweathered@sto>

> To: _tetheredspinalcord@tetheredspintet_

(mailto:tetheredspinalcord )

> Sent: Fri, March 5, 2010 5:11:12 PM

> Subject: update on post op complications

>

> Â

> Saw the NS wed. He doesn't think my bowel incontinence will improve or

the inability to urinate on my own either. He is sending me to a rehab

specialist for further eval. On a darker note. My fiance took me to the doc

wed.

When we got home he said he couldn't handle my medical problems anymore &

he was leaving. As he was packing my son came in the room & he told him I

don't love your mom anymore because her medical problems are not getting

better. He packed & left. Not only dealing with the news from the docs but now

this. I am truely devestated.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

[Guest guest]

First i am really sorry for what is happening to you.

Your situation has me thinking:

You are sick but he cannot handle it....

Your personnality is the same, you are still the same person he fell in love

with the only thing that changed is your health.

It makes me realise how sick people are strong, perseverent and have faith.

What is easy for some people is a completely different tasks for another one.

I think it's better that he leaves you than that he stays for pity....

You cannot waste energy that you don't have for someone that cannot bring you up

but down.....

Please keep faith in love, true love, have faith in life.

Be yourself , be proud of who you are and overhall don't let anyone tell you who

or how to be.You have to cope with your situations let him handle his and focus

on you and your son, focus on getting the best life possible for both of you.

Take pride and joy in little things: the big one will be gifts.

Just remember you are not alone and i am sending positive tought for your

situation to get better.

Take car of yourself

Sab

>

> Hello Stormy,

>

> Any man that leaves you when you are already feeling down and have some health

issues is not worth having around, sorry to say he probably did you a favor, you

might feel down in the dumps over it but it might be a blessing, when you least

expect it you will meet the man of your dreams who will love you for you...hang

in there I know it might not seem so right now but things will get better...

>

> Sharon

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: tetheredspinalcord

> Sent: Fri, March 5, 2010 5:11:12 PM

> Subject: update on post op complications

>

>  

> Saw the NS wed. He doesn't think my bowel incontinence will improve or the

inability to urinate on my own either. He is sending me to a rehab specialist

for further eval. On a darker note. My fiance took me to the doc wed. When we

got home he said he couldn't handle my medical problems anymore & he was

leaving. As he was packing my son came in the room & he told him I don't love

your mom anymore because her medical problems are not getting better. He packed

& left. Not only dealing with the news from the docs but now this. I am truely

devestated.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, Thank you everyone for being there, understanding and reaching out with

love.

Subject: Re: update on post op complications

To: tetheredspinalcord

Date: Sunday, March 7, 2010, 5:41 PM

 

Sab, et al

Thanks to those of you who send such wonderful, healing thoughts to various

members. I wanted you to know I print some of them out to save for my

daughter should the day come that she needs them. Gratefully, Randee

In a message dated 3/7/2010 5:38:47 P.M. Central Standard Time,

anirbas9hotmail (DOT) com writes:

First i am really sorry for what is happening to you.

Your situation has me thinking:

You are sick but he cannot handle it....

Your personnality is the same, you are still the same person he fell in

love with the only thing that changed is your health.

It makes me realise how sick people are strong, perseverent and have faith.

What is easy for some people is a completely different tasks for another

one.

I think it's better that he leaves you than that he stays for pity....

You cannot waste energy that you don't have for someone that cannot bring

you up but down.....

Please keep faith in love, true love, have faith in life.

Be yourself , be proud of who you are and overhall don't let anyone tell

you who or how to be.You have to cope with your situations let him handle

his and focus on you and your son, focus on getting the best life possible

for both of you.

Take pride and joy in little things: the big one will be gifts.

Just remember you are not alone and i am sending positive tought for your

situation to get better.

Take car of yourself

Sab

>

> Hello Stormy,

>

> Any man that leaves you when you are already feeling down and have some

health issues is not worth having around, sorry to say he probably did you

a favor, you might feel down in the dumps over it but it might be a

blessing, when you least expect it you will meet the man of your dreams who will

love you for you...hang in there I know it might not seem so right now but

things will get better...

>

> Sharon

>

>

>

>

> ____________ ____ ____

> From: stormy <stormyweathered@ sto>

> To: _tetheredspinalcord @tetheredspintet _

(mailto:tetheredspinalcord@ yahoogroups. com)

> Sent: Fri, March 5, 2010 5:11:12 PM

> Subject: update on post op complications

>

> Â

> Saw the NS wed. He doesn't think my bowel incontinence will improve or

the inability to urinate on my own either. He is sending me to a rehab

specialist for further eval. On a darker note. My fiance took me to the doc wed.

When we got home he said he couldn't handle my medical problems anymore &

he was leaving. As he was packing my son came in the room & he told him I

don't love your mom anymore because her medical problems are not getting

better. He packed & left. Not only dealing with the news from the docs but now

this. I am truely devestated.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You know Randee, you do just the same for a lot of people on this site.

I take my strenght on this site, with you all.

I've read somewhere that everything is in the way you interprete things.

If you breathe, cry and let time do its work, then you can put your heart aside

and think clearly!!!!!

There is always a nicer version of the story than the one that first comes up

to our mind!!!!!

> >

> > Hello Stormy,

> >

> > Any man that leaves you when you are already feeling down and have some

> health issues is not worth having around, sorry to say he probably did you

> a favor, you might feel down in the dumps over it but it might be a

> blessing, when you least expect it you will meet the man of your dreams who

will

> love you for you...hang in there I know it might not seem so right now but

> things will get better...

> >

> > Sharon

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ____________ ____ ____

> > From: stormy <stormyweathered@sto>

> > To: _tetheredspinalcord@tetheredspintet_

> (mailto:tetheredspinalcord )

> > Sent: Fri, March 5, 2010 5:11:12 PM

> > Subject: update on post op complications

> >

> > Â

> > Saw the NS wed. He doesn't think my bowel incontinence will improve or

> the inability to urinate on my own either. He is sending me to a rehab

> specialist for further eval. On a darker note. My fiance took me to the doc

wed.

> When we got home he said he couldn't handle my medical problems anymore &

> he was leaving. As he was packing my son came in the room & he told him I

> don't love your mom anymore because her medical problems are not getting

> better. He packed & left. Not only dealing with the news from the docs but

now

> this. I am truely devestated.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I totally agree with when she wrote that her boyfriend left her not

because i could not deal with the pain but the fact that he could not FIX it.

I lot a men see things like problem and if they cannot find a way to fix it they

feel like failure, then they need to go cause they cannot bear their feeling of

failure and uselessness. If they would listen to what wemen say.... We don't

need to be fixed ....neuro cannot do it. we need them to be there, to hold us in

their arms.

That for me redefines the word RELATIONSHIP, you should not be with someone to

fix them but to help them blossom and rise.

Thanks for taking my mind away from the pain for a while

I love reading comments it has me rethink my way of thinking!!!!1love it

Take care Sab

> >

> > Saw the NS wed. He doesn't think my bowel incontinence will improve or the

inability to urinate on my own either. He is sending me to a rehab specialist

for further eval. On a darker note. My fiance took me to the doc wed. When we

got home he said he couldn't handle my medical problems anymore & he was

leaving. As he was packing my son came in the room & he told him I don't love

your mom anymore because her medical problems are not getting better. He packed

& left. Not only dealing with the news from the docs but now this. I am truely

devestated.

> >

>

>

>

>

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>

>

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