you all pick me up

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, My day started with so many feelings of pressure and being trapped

and just pain ole stress along with that constant depression that we all feel

and battle here.I kinda let it all get the best of me today.I almost burnt some

bridges that would have been irreplaceable.That seems to be what I do

best.Instead I started writing to all of you and asking for something,

(anything) in response.I read every single response (offline and on).I read them

over and over.Im not done fighting.My sister came and offered to spend the

night.I went to leave only to find that my wonderful peice of POOP car wouldnt

start.I went with my nephew, (her son).We road around and talked about what a

great man my dad was, relationships, and my situation, Ive been there for him

many of time and tonight made up for every one of those times.Hes a great

kid.Then a dear friend had reached out to me earlier and I called this person

back.The talk we had was so amazing and eye opening.I decided at

that point the first thing I need to do is fix what I started to break in my

own life.Moms life never feels the effect of my troubles.But I have to say, I

can be pretty hard on my own life sometimes.I go out of my way to shelter mom

from everything exept lbd, and if I could do that I would.

So anyway I made another call and was able to fix a very very important part

of my life that I had almost broken today.I then decided to come back home and

just let my sister go home for the night.I once again read through every single

email.I cried, I cried some more and I laughed until I almost POOPED at Carols

writing.And Im not talking about a litlle bit of crap.I almost pooped a whole

plethera of poop.Im just writing to say that Im okay.You guys are the best and

you mean the world to me.I am going to bed now and the last thing I think about

before I sleep is how through lbd as cruel and crappy as it is, Ive found the

greatest friends a person could ever have.Thank you for being here today.You all

mean the world to me .And Im still here and not going anywhere.

PS.Im gonna brush my teeth before I go to bed, I will probably dream about

elephant poop and great friends.I just hope the elephant doesnt try to poop on

my friends, cuz that would be a nightmare, maybe a dillusion or hallucination,

whatever the case I will have no other choice but to stuff the elephant in the

waste basket. You guys are the greatest.Please know that Im okay, and I hope

you all are too. Ron

RON

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