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I have a therapist now who understands NT/AS relationships and I now realise that what I need from is perfectly reasonable for a human being in an intimate relationship but that cannot give me what I need with a consistency that I need it or without the constant nudges.

Harry Harlow did an famous experiment years ago with Rhesus monkey's on "attachment". Attachment = primary emotional relationships between child and primary caretakers(s).

-Rhesus monkeys were removed from mothers at birth and placed with mother surrogates.

Mother one: Wire mesh mothers with a feeding bottle.

Mother two: Terrycloth mothers without any food.

-Monkeys preferred terrycloth mother as love is derived from close body contact. It is a basic human need to want that closeness.

I have often wondered how this blends in with autism if your partner's brain is hard wired differently or does not need that same level of attachment? Did your therapist give you any insight or suggestions? I dealt with the same issue in my marriage as well that ended in divorce as our level of needs were different.

Other's?

Best.

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Newland wrote:

<< I dealt with the same issue in my marriage as well that ended in

divorce as our level of needs were different. >>

Same here. My NT husband was a very touchy high-contact sort of person.

By comparison, I was the " cold fish " .

He also was inclined to feel easily rejected and would personalize and

read all sorts of things into my natural reserve.

Best,

~CJ

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