Re: I (heart) paper clip

[Guest guest]

If I reincarnate

> and get another chance to try to unravel fearful and guilty cancer,

> then cool.) Either way, there are a multitude of positives I can

> associate with having cancer and I do love it for those reasons. In

> learning how to deal with it, I've matured so much and have come to

> peace with so much in my life.

>

> Put cancer up on that alter, would you? It's pretty awesome.

>

> :-)

>

> H

Cancer, yeah, cancer = life! Why try to cure life?

More and more I'm experiencing that old saying, what resists,

persists.

I've been having some chest pains, usually the thought 'heart

attack' comes right away. For awhile now, I've envisioned Jesus

reaching into me, and his heads just melt any resistance, any part

that is saying 'no'. Not just the chest area, anywhere I feel

tightness.

And just in the past few days I've come to wonder if that's how

he 'cured' lepers, not by taking away the leprosy, but by helping

them learn to accept and look forward to it (#6 turnaround).

When you can say and feel, I am willing to have cancer... I look

forward to having cancer, where then is there any problem? Look and

look and look, it can't be found.

I envision Jesus in a few different places, one of them on the

cross, arms spread wide. That's the position I usually do 'the work'

in, lying on my bed, my arms spread wide. Enough, enough! with my

closing off from the world, from life.

But then, perhaps in the future, I'll realize I have to do the work

on;

I shouldn't close off from the world, from life. Is that true?

hahahahahahahaha

[Guest guest]

>

>

> Totally awesome. This is how I like to approach life now. People can

> tell me that existence is all just a projection of guilt and fear.

> Ok. Fine. But can I at least even enjoy that? I can foster a sense

> of humor, joy, appreciation, and affection for even the perceived

> negative experiences of my life. Apparently I have incurable cancer.

> Wow! God would never have cancer. Unthinkable! Ok, well, docs tell

> me *I* do. It's my job to unravel all the fears surrounding that

> prognosis. (Fear of death, of a lower-quality life, of not being

> able to sustain a long-term loving relationship w/ someone of the

> opposite sex, of possibly not being around to see my daughter grow

> up, of my parents' anguish surrounding my health, of my own

> anguish, of the all the other seemingly apparent restrictions.) The

> fears are nothing more than having a non-willingness to experience

> exactly what I am going through right now with a sense of serenity.

> Non-willingness or not, I'm experiencing it.

>

Hi Hypegia,

I think you are missing the reason why Jesus goes to such lengths in

ACIM to explain the full darkness of the ego thought system of fear,

guilt and separation. LOL ... it's not because he enjoys horror

stories. No one is going to give up his special separate existence if

everything is fine with it. What Jesus wants his students to see is

that being a separate special person is not really a nice thing at

all in fact it is quite horrific.

" You who are steadfastly devoted to misery [separation] must first

recognize that you are miserable and not happy. The Holy Spirit

cannot teach without this contrast, for you believe that misery

[separation] is happiness " (T.14.II.1:2,3)

This world and our bodies are poor substitutes for our reality

outside of the dream. Being a creation of a thought of sin, guilt and

fear everything in the dream is a manifestation of those thoughts.

This is why we have cancer and every other disease known to man.

Every sickness is our attempt to prove that the dream is real and

that Love does not exist. Now why in heaven's name would you want to

meet any sickness with " a sense of humor, joy, appreciation, and

affection for even the perceived negative experiences of my life " ?

That seems like insanity to me! What ACIM recommends is that you look

at any sickness or problem and see it as it really is i.e. a

projection of guilt and fear. A key point here is that you must look

at it WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, and just see what being sick is costing you.

Once you see what the ego thought system is really costing you, you

will be much more likely to make a real choice for Love. This may or

may not heal the physical body, but it will return you to the peace

of love within.

What I see all the time is a lot of people using the Work to make

their lives in the dream happier. After all if I take away all my

stories what problems do I have in the world. The Work thus becomes

an excellent tool of the ego to entrench us further into the dream

and protect our specialness. Rather than look at what the dream truly

is, we endlessly distract ourselves with pointless trivial pieces of

Work around wilting vegetables in the fridge. One final point

did not have her awakening experience doing the Work, or loving what

is. She woke up when the pain of the ego thought system of

separation, guilt and fear became too much for her to tolerate and

she made a choice for Love instead of the ego's voice of separation.

Obviously we don't need to go to that extreme of ten years of

clinical depression as did, but do not underestimate the

importance of seeing the darkness of the ego thought system.

An imprisoned will engenders a situation which, in the extreme,

becomes altogether intolerable. Tolerance for pain may be high, but

it is not without limit. Eventually everyone begins to recognize,

however dimly, that there must be a better way. As this recognition

becomes more firmly established, it becomes a turning point. This

ultimately reawakens spiritual vision, simultaneously weakening the

investment in physical sight (T-2.III.3:4-8)

[Guest guest]

[...]

>

> " You who are steadfastly devoted to misery [separation] must first

> recognize that you are miserable and not happy. The Holy Spirit

> cannot teach without this contrast, for you believe that misery

> [separation] is happiness " (T.14.II.1:2,3)

But, frankly, I realize that I am Happy

[at least most of the times, at least

Now] and I am unhappy only rarely. I realize

that I find life very beautiful and I greatly

enjoy the life, the world... at least most of the

times.

I don't calim to have no 'separate'

eixtence. Yet, I can't claim to find

my life miserable - doing so will be

an outwright ungrateful lie.

What suggestions you have for me?

I think my three yaer old son too

might be same way - most of the times,

so incredibly joyous, happy and grateful

to just be alive.

Regards,

ac

[Guest guest]

>

>

> But, frankly, I realize that I am Happy

> [at least most of the times, at least

> Now] and I am unhappy only rarely. I realize

> that I find life very beautiful and I greatly

> enjoy the life, the world... at least most of the

> times.

>

> I don't calim to have no 'separate'

> eixtence. Yet, I can't claim to find

> my life miserable - doing so will be

> an outwright ungrateful lie.

>

> What suggestions you have for me?

>

Hmmm ... buy a copy of A Course in Miralces, and anything by Ken

Wapnick that seems appealing. A DVD of " The Matrix " with Keneau

Reeves should also put you on the ladder up to Heaven.

" The Holy Spirit takes you gently by the hand, and retraces with you

your mad journey outside yourself, leading you gently back to the

truth and safety within. He brings all your insane projections and

the wild substitutions that you have placed outside you to the truth.

Thus He reverses the course of insanity and restores you to reason "

(T-18.I.8:3-5)

[Guest guest]

>

> Hmmm ... buy a copy of A Course in Miralces, and anything by Ken

> Wapnick that seems appealing. A DVD of " The Matrix " with Keneau

> Reeves should also put you on the ladder up to Heaven.

>

> " The Holy Spirit takes you gently by the hand, and retraces with you

> your mad journey outside yourself, leading you gently back to the

> truth and safety within. He brings all your insane projections and

> the wild substitutions that you have placed outside you to the truth.

> Thus He reverses the course of insanity and restores you to reason "

> (T-18.I.8:3-5)

>

Basically, I'm just beginning to feel as if I'm backing out of my own

life. Not that I'm rejecting it, but taking a conscious back seat (and

maybe we're all just back seat drivers...) and relenting to the ride.

I realize that there is so much that I don't have to do! And it's

relieving and refreshing. I can be late to work, but I can absolutely

enjoy the ride there despite knowing that I'll be late and I might

meet up with some consequences. Whatever. Fascinatingly taking in a

view of the farms and woods whizzing by my car windows is so much more

enjoyable than berating myself for being late. I notice stuff all the

time now that I didn't allow myself to before because I was so

preoccupied with my depressing thoughts.

It's interesting being who I am. And I am no one special. Just one

nerve sensing and feeling things from their own little station in

life. The relenting, the giving up the need to stress, doesn't stop my

life. It does, however, stop much of my 'negative' behavior and

self-bashing thoughts. So, in that sense, I ENJOY MY LIFE. As opposed

to how it was before of when I used to think I wasn't good enough,

that I didn't have enough, that my life wasn't the best I thought it

should be, that the people in my life weren't the coolest... Yeah. I

SO much more enjoy my life than what I felt for it before. Why don't

you tell me what's better than that and is that a state one can grow

into?? And how??

Love ya,

Hypegia

[Guest guest]

wow.. i love your posts.. you and mary are inspiring..

my husband has a test tuesday i think he has cancer..hes lost

30 pounds and i wonder how it will be.. if he does..

I've noticed its only really amazing people who get cancer..

they say god only gives us what we cam handle..

im healthy and yet i always beleived i would die before my husband.. i

never thought i would live this long.. evem// i just knew i would

go first.. and now i wonder..i could still go before him..even

if he does have cancer --hes been so good to me --i hate to think

of being alone.. but its not my business.. thanks roslyn

- In Loving-what-is , " Hypegia Phoebe " wrote:

>

>

> >

> > > > Not that I'm disagreeing, but it's interesting to think that even

> > > > something as innocuous as a paper clip could be construed as

being

> > > > an object of projected guilt and fear. Tell me what your ideas

are

> > > > on how a paper clip could be a projection of guilt and fear

> >

> > I've been thinking about the paper clip posts. I don't see a paper

> > clip as a projection of guilt and fear. However I find I haven't been

> > loving the paper clip. Not like I love a beautiful sunset, or my

> > friend Roslyn, or Chootie the cat who lives here, or my Cat

s CD.

> >

> > I used to have altars, special places set up to honor items. I'd put

> > feathers there, I think maybe a crystal or two, a special rock,

> > picture of Jesus. Maybe a bowl of water, candle or two.

> >

> > Is a feather any more or less special than a paper clip? Actually a

> > paper clip is incredibly beautiful. It's sleek lines, little ridges,

> > sensuous curves. I feel my chest and heart expanding as I think these

> > thoughts, my eyes are relaxed and shiny, my breathing deep. I'm in

> > love!?!?

> >

> > Is that maybe kinda how saw that cockroach when she 'woke up'?

> > Is that how she sees everything?

> >

> > What if I could build a world with infinite possibilities? Why

would I

> > create something I didn't like, didn't think worthy?

> >

> > Anyway, right now, I love paper clips. I love the dirty keyboard I'm

> > typing on, the discolorations on my skin, the way my belly sticks out

> > so I can't see my waste.

> >

> > As the stories lose their meaning, more and more only love is left.

> >

>

> Totally awesome. This is how I like to approach life now. People can

> tell me that existence is all just a projection of guilt and fear. Ok.

> Fine. But can I at least even enjoy that? I can foster a sense of

> humor, joy, appreciation, and affection for even the perceived

> negative experiences of my life. Apparently I have incurable cancer.

> Wow! God would never have cancer. Unthinkable! Ok, well, docs tell me

> *I* do. It's my job to unravel all the fears surrounding that

> prognosis. (Fear of death, of a lower-quality life, of not being able

> to sustain a long-term loving relationship w/ someone of the opposite

> sex, of possibly not being around to see my daughter grow up, of my

> parents' anguish surrounding my health, of my own anguish, of the all

> the other seemingly apparent restrictions.) The fears are nothing more

> than having a non-willingness to experience exactly what I am going

> through right now with a sense of serenity. Non-willingness or not,

> I'm experiencing it.

>

> Now, to add the wrinkle that cancer itself is just a projection of

> fear and guilt. So what? If I come to know how to unravel that and

> miraculously heal myself of incurable cancer, then I will. (Though, I

> feel that Love is what cures all and if I can't figure it out by the

> time I die, then oh well, my life was still lived. If I reincarnate

> and get another chance to try to unravel fearful and guilty cancer,

> then cool.) Either way, there are a multitude of positives I can

> associate with having cancer and I do love it for those reasons. In

> learning how to deal with it, I've matured so much and have come to

> peace with so much in my life.

>

> Put cancer up on that alter, would you? It's pretty awesome.

>

> :-)

>

> H

>

[Guest guest]

hype .. are you saving your emails for your daughter..

if she isnt open to them now maybe when she is older..

they will be a sourse of inspiration..

they are to me..

i send my kids inspiring emails others write but i am in their

business and

i dont think they read them.. but maybe..

i know im in your business.. and your daughters..

and also doctors can be wrong.. but even if they were

i guess we're all going sometime.

i wish my kids talked to my husband more.. he is very together..

in my opinion. but he doesnt push anything.. on them.

hes just a wonderful person, love, roslyn

- In Loving-what-is , " Hypegia Phoebe " wrote:

>

>

> >

> > > > Not that I'm disagreeing, but it's interesting to think that even

> > > > something as innocuous as a paper clip could be construed as

being

> > > > an object of projected guilt and fear. Tell me what your ideas

are

> > > > on how a paper clip could be a projection of guilt and fear

> >

> > I've been thinking about the paper clip posts. I don't see a paper

> > clip as a projection of guilt and fear. However I find I haven't been

> > loving the paper clip. Not like I love a beautiful sunset, or my

> > friend Roslyn, or Chootie the cat who lives here, or my Cat

s CD.

> >

> > I used to have altars, special places set up to honor items. I'd put

> > feathers there, I think maybe a crystal or two, a special rock,

> > picture of Jesus. Maybe a bowl of water, candle or two.

> >

> > Is a feather any more or less special than a paper clip? Actually a

> > paper clip is incredibly beautiful. It's sleek lines, little ridges,

> > sensuous curves. I feel my chest and heart expanding as I think these

> > thoughts, my eyes are relaxed and shiny, my breathing deep. I'm in

> > love!?!?

> >

> > Is that maybe kinda how saw that cockroach when she 'woke up'?

> > Is that how she sees everything?

> >

> > What if I could build a world with infinite possibilities? Why

would I

> > create something I didn't like, didn't think worthy?

> >

> > Anyway, right now, I love paper clips. I love the dirty keyboard I'm

> > typing on, the discolorations on my skin, the way my belly sticks out

> > so I can't see my waste.

> >

> > As the stories lose their meaning, more and more only love is left.

> >

>

> Totally awesome. This is how I like to approach life now. People can

> tell me that existence is all just a projection of guilt and fear. Ok.

> Fine. But can I at least even enjoy that? I can foster a sense of

> humor, joy, appreciation, and affection for even the perceived

> negative experiences of my life. Apparently I have incurable cancer.

> Wow! God would never have cancer. Unthinkable! Ok, well, docs tell me

> *I* do. It's my job to unravel all the fears surrounding that

> prognosis. (Fear of death, of a lower-quality life, of not being able

> to sustain a long-term loving relationship w/ someone of the opposite

> sex, of possibly not being around to see my daughter grow up, of my

> parents' anguish surrounding my health, of my own anguish, of the all

> the other seemingly apparent restrictions.) The fears are nothing more

> than having a non-willingness to experience exactly what I am going

> through right now with a sense of serenity. Non-willingness or not,

> I'm experiencing it.

>

> Now, to add the wrinkle that cancer itself is just a projection of

> fear and guilt. So what? If I come to know how to unravel that and

> miraculously heal myself of incurable cancer, then I will. (Though, I

> feel that Love is what cures all and if I can't figure it out by the

> time I die, then oh well, my life was still lived. If I reincarnate

> and get another chance to try to unravel fearful and guilty cancer,

> then cool.) Either way, there are a multitude of positives I can

> associate with having cancer and I do love it for those reasons. In

> learning how to deal with it, I've matured so much and have come to

> peace with so much in my life.

>

> Put cancer up on that alter, would you? It's pretty awesome.

>

> :-)

>

> H

>

[Guest guest]

>

> wow.. i love your posts.. you and mary are inspiring..

>

> my husband has a test tuesday i think he has cancer..hes lost

>

> 30 pounds and i wonder how it will be.. if he does..

>

> I've noticed its only really amazing people who get cancer..

>

LOL. It's like the chicken and the egg... I think that many people

coping with what they perceive is extraordinary challenge are the ones

that learn first hand what is important to worry about and what is

not. A nurse at my oncology clinic was telling me that some think her

job might be depressing but she says she actually feels like the

cancer patients are more evolved and it inspires her. Whatever.

It's still hard for me at times and there are those days that I cry

like a baby. I used The Work on much of my stresses dealing with

cancer and it has done wonders for me and I'll always be grateful that

I found The Work when I did.

> they say god only gives us what we cam handle..

>

> im healthy and yet i always beleived i would die before my husband.. i

> never thought i would live this long.. evem// i just knew i would

> go first.. and now i wonder..i could still go before him..even

>

> if he does have cancer --hes been so good to me --i hate to think

>

> of being alone.. but its not my business.. thanks roslyn

>

>

I'm slowly coming to the point where I'm having an attitude of 'What's

next? What's next? What's next?', which feels like enthusiastic

anticipation. It's different than that anxious feeling of 'Oh, no. I

don't know if I can handle what's coming...' I'm not all concretely

there yet, though. I'm still flip flopping between the two. I told my

friend that I feel I am coming to find this role -- this

Woman-With-Cancer -- to be exciting instead of dreadful. Is the cancer

coming back? Cool. What's next? Full blown chemotherapy? I can do

this! What's next? Losing my hair? Haha! I'm gonna be bald. That'll

look funny. Let's do this! What's next? I'll be laid up in bed for a

month or two? Ok. Give it to me!

It's interesting trading in my dream life lost (all stress) to embrace

my real life. Losing the dream and realizing that reality is much more

exciting is definitely interesting. I still get resentful. I'm dating

a great guy now who has treated me all but perfect and I adore him

(and I've stayed single for the past two years). He told me the other

day that it does weigh on his mind that I can't have kids (because my

cancer would go haywire from the hormones). I was devastated. He may

be another thing that cancer (seemingly) takes away from me. I know

I'll be ok, but it's a constant coping process...

Could you handle it, Roslyn, being the Woman-With-Husband-With-Cancer?

Could you absolutely dive yourself into that role? Fear or no fear, if

your husband does have cancer, that'll be your role to assume. How

would it feel to not have fear? To understand that this role that is

God-given to you is just that, God-given? And if God gives you that

role and God is only Good, then could you push up your sleeves, look

at the challenge before you, and assuredly tell yourself, " I can do

this. " ? Can you even do it without hope? Without wanting it to be

different than what it is? Can you embrace it exactly for what it's

worth instead of worrying about your fabricated dream-life popping

like a fragile bubble? Screw the safe dream-life running its

propaganda in your head. It's that that would screw up your sense of

peace, not your husband developing cancer. This is the adventure that

life is giving you to live. Or, it could be hell for you. Either way,

it doesn't matter. As long as you are drawing breath and consciously

aware, your life still goes on despite what you are feeling about it.

Except what's the kinder, more peaceful and serene belief to have for

yourself: exciting adventure or dreadful hell?

I'm sure as hell not saying I'm all that. LOL. But maybe I ask you the

questions because I want to answer them for myself...

Love you, lady...

Hypegia

[Guest guest]

Here's a quote from that I adore from her July Parlor Newsletter

as she contemplated if her daughter died:

" And every time I thought of you, that every time I wanted to hold you

and touch you and smell your hair—my baby daughter—I would grab

someone else, and get to know them as deeply as I have known you. "

This is an absolutely inspiring thought. It makes me realize you just

go onto what's next. (What's next? What's next? What's next?) And

there is something always there waiting in line next for you in which

to find joy and love, despite all that has already come and gone. Always.

-H-

[Guest guest]

im so glad i read this today..

my husband is ok.. but still losing weight.. so

i dont know why..

My friend who does my nails.. has cancer and im going

out there today to spend two days with her..

I think i will print this out..

Dee is a wonderful person.. i admire her so much.

-she is so caring

I agree with the nurse.. love, roslyn

-- In Loving-what-is , " Hypegia Phoebe "

wrote:

>

>

> >

> > wow.. i love your posts.. you and mary are inspiring..

> >

> > my husband has a test tuesday i think he has cancer..hes lost

> >

> > 30 pounds and i wonder how it will be.. if he does..

> >

> > I've noticed its only really amazing people who get cancer..

> >

>

> LOL. It's like the chicken and the egg... I think that many people

> coping with what they perceive is extraordinary challenge are the ones

> that learn first hand what is important to worry about and what is

> not. A nurse at my oncology clinic was telling me that some think her

> job might be depressing but she says she actually feels like the

> cancer patients are more evolved and it inspires her. Whatever.

> It's still hard for me at times and there are those days that I cry

> like a baby. I used The Work on much of my stresses dealing with

> cancer and it has done wonders for me and I'll always be grateful that

> I found The Work when I did.

>

>

> > they say god only gives us what we cam handle..

> >

> > im healthy and yet i always beleived i would die before my husband.. i

> > never thought i would live this long.. evem// i just knew i would

> > go first.. and now i wonder..i could still go before him..even

> >

> > if he does have cancer --hes been so good to me --i hate to think

> >

> > of being alone.. but its not my business.. thanks roslyn

> >

> >

>

> I'm slowly coming to the point where I'm having an attitude of 'What's

> next? What's next? What's next?', which feels like enthusiastic

> anticipation. It's different than that anxious feeling of 'Oh, no. I

> don't know if I can handle what's coming...' I'm not all concretely

> there yet, though. I'm still flip flopping between the two. I told my

> friend that I feel I am coming to find this role -- this

> Woman-With-Cancer -- to be exciting instead of dreadful. Is the cancer

> coming back? Cool. What's next? Full blown chemotherapy? I can do

> this! What's next? Losing my hair? Haha! I'm gonna be bald. That'll

> look funny. Let's do this! What's next? I'll be laid up in bed for a

> month or two? Ok. Give it to me!

>

> It's interesting trading in my dream life lost (all stress) to embrace

> my real life. Losing the dream and realizing that reality is much more

> exciting is definitely interesting. I still get resentful. I'm dating

> a great guy now who has treated me all but perfect and I adore him

> (and I've stayed single for the past two years). He told me the other

> day that it does weigh on his mind that I can't have kids (because my

> cancer would go haywire from the hormones). I was devastated. He may

> be another thing that cancer (seemingly) takes away from me. I know

> I'll be ok, but it's a constant coping process...

>

> Could you handle it, Roslyn, being the Woman-With-Husband-With-Cancer?

> Could you absolutely dive yourself into that role? Fear or no fear, if

> your husband does have cancer, that'll be your role to assume. How

> would it feel to not have fear? To understand that this role that is

> God-given to you is just that, God-given? And if God gives you that

> role and God is only Good, then could you push up your sleeves, look

> at the challenge before you, and assuredly tell yourself, " I can do

> this. " ? Can you even do it without hope? Without wanting it to be

> different than what it is? Can you embrace it exactly for what it's

> worth instead of worrying about your fabricated dream-life popping

> like a fragile bubble? Screw the safe dream-life running its

> propaganda in your head. It's that that would screw up your sense of

> peace, not your husband developing cancer. This is the adventure that

> life is giving you to live. Or, it could be hell for you. Either way,

> it doesn't matter. As long as you are drawing breath and consciously

> aware, your life still goes on despite what you are feeling about it.

> Except what's the kinder, more peaceful and serene belief to have for

> yourself: exciting adventure or dreadful hell?

>

> I'm sure as hell not saying I'm all that. LOL. But maybe I ask you the

> questions because I want to answer them for myself...

>

> Love you, lady...

>

>

>

> Hypegia

>

[Guest guest]

yes and the memories are so powerful..

i know we are suppose to be in present time always

but im not often.

i feel very close to an old boyfriend i only

was with a very very short time..

i know we knew each other in a past life.. so we were

very close immediately.. and i still love him.. and

feel close though i havent really talked to him in

30years.

maybe when we are sleeping our souls meet up somewhere.

my story..

but yeah we can find that love in others too.

love the one your with, i love you, roslyn

>

> Here's a quote from that I adore from her July Parlor Newsletter

> as she contemplated if her daughter died:

>

> " And every time I thought of you, that every time I wanted to hold you

> and touch you and smell your hair—my baby daughter—I would grab

> someone else, and get to know them as deeply as I have known you. "

>

> This is an absolutely inspiring thought. It makes me realize you just

> go onto what's next. (What's next? What's next? What's next?) And

> there is something always there waiting in line next for you in which

> to find joy and love, despite all that has already come and gone.

Always.

>

> -H-

>