Re: my story, for now... (Nora)

[Guest guest]

>

>

> For me, when that higher self that I am says something I can hear it

> unless I am all engrossed in the thoughts/ feelings of the lesser

> me. The thing that hides loves meaning is the screams of fear and

> dismay. What I need to learn is that I always have a choice for

> sometimes I am not at all sure that I do and I very much want to. I

> can not imagine someone choosing fear over love but perhaps my

> imagination is limited.

> When I know better I do better.

>

> Trying to truly know,

Hi Nora,

You do not have to imagine " someone choosing fear over love " just look

around and every person you see has chosen fear over love which is why

they are in this dream. No one in their right mind would choose to be

separate and live in a constant state of fear and guilt unless they

were terrified of Love.

Here is a spiritual exercise which will speed your awakening from the

dream more than anything I have encountered. Just try to become aware

of what being in a nice separate body is costing you. To be separate we

must embrace a thought system of kill or be killed. Every body survives

by the death of countless other bodies. Every mouthful of food we eat

is obtained by killing a variety of animals and plants. The animals

which are our dinner, previously survived by killing other animals or

plants and so it goes on in a grizzly chain of slaughter.

Being separate also means that we must hate those who are different

from us, either they have something we want or they want to take what

we have. It is not socially acceptable to hate openly, so we normally

deny the hate we feel and push it into our unconscious. It can be

enormously helpful to get in contact with how much we really hate

everyone and want to kill them, even those who we claim to love.

Specialness comes with a heavy price tag of hate, guilt, fear and

murder, but that is rarely seen because of the heavy psychological

defense mechanisms of denial and projection.

" You who are steadfastly devoted to misery [separation] must first

recognize that you are miserable and not happy. The Holy Spirit cannot

teach without this contrast, for you believe that misery [separation]

is happiness " (T.14.II.1:2,3)

If we can get in touch with our deep hatred of others and our wish to

kill them to preseve our specialness and look at it without judging

ourselves for choosing it, then and only then will we be in a position

to make a real choice for the Voice for Love.

It is interesting to note that did not have her awakening

experience by " loving what is " , she awoke after fully experiencing the

horror of the ego thought system of specialness. Lying on the floor of

the boarding house in a massive depression and daily wanting to kill

herself and probably everyone else around her, I think she became quite

well aquainted with the cost of separation/specialness. Not that we

have to take it to that extreme, but until we look upon our own

specialness and what it costs us (without judgement) we are not going

to progress very far up the spiritual ladder to God.

Ken Wapnick has an excellent book on this topic: " Ending our Resistance

to Love " (US. $7.00) available through Amazon.com, which I would highly

recommend.