'as you reap, so shall you sow' - just a story?

September 7, 2006

i guess it's all a story, right?

it's all a story. is that true? i don't know. i don't know nuthin!

so much for taking the high road, and doing unto others crap.

i'm in a bad mood today. really pissed off that after i was

coopertive to the officers investigating my case, now that i have a

question for them, they don't get back to me.

been looking for work, was told by two people i'd get called

yesterday about work. no calls.

i have no control in this world. is that true? sure seems to be.

i'm going through menopause, talk about not having control! you

cannot relate to this unless you've gone through it. one minute

you're feeling fine, then bam! it's like you just stepped into a

furnace.

screw it all. if i don't get locked up when i get my sentence, i'm

just gonna go down to new orleans and volunteer. if they want to

come down there and git me, i'll probably be happy, as living

conditions are kinda rough down there.

did some worksheets last night.

why is it sometimes i'll do a worksheet, seem to arrive at peace

around something, but then the next day i'm struggling with the same

crap?

okay, here is my fear that i'm not wanting to look at. i want to

open the case up, try to find out what proof exactly they have that

i started the fire. but i've been in this town for nearly two

months. the people who've been kind enough to let me stay in their

basement, (kinda a trade, been doing lots of landscaping/mowing work

for them), they say i can stay til my sentencing date, sept 21. but

only til then.

i haven't been able to find any short term rentals in town. haven't

been able to find a paying job. so i'm spending what i've saved, and

could have had a job and place to live in colorado for about a

month, then... oh well. coulda/woulda/shoulda.

i hate the path my life has taken.

it just seems easier to plead guilty to the forest fire, rather than

fight the system.

i shall fight no more.

who said that?

chief somebody or other

he sounds very wise to me

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