A [typical] Night and Day ... [or, why I think my wife is *bad*!].

[Guest guest]

I reached home yesterday night around

8.00PM. My daughter became very excited

and happy seeing me. My son started

jumping on the sofa in joy. I asked my

daughter about her school. I played

horsy-horsy with my son and daughter. I

played balloons with my son. I took my

son out in stroller [yes, at 9.00PM]. I

went upstairs with my son and daughter

my daughter and I read together. My son

played with books and puzzles in the

same room. I put my daughter and son to

sleep around 10.30 PM.

When I reached home my wife was on

sofa watching TV. Little later, when I

was free from my son and daughter I

hugged her. When I was feeding my son

and my wife was seating on the sofa

watching TV, I asked my wife to help

our daughter take bath. Hearing this

wife became angry saying that our

daughter should know what to do. Little

later she did shout on her for not

doing shampoo and helped her shampoo. I

didn't like my wife's getting angry at

me or my daughter.

I told my wife that she has to get up

tomorrow at 7.30 to help our daughter

get ready and to pack her lunch. I

asked my wife to go to bed and rest but

she kept watching TV. When I came down

she said that one astrologer had told

that I [her husband] was going to have

affair with my brother's wife. I found

it too ridicules and low level even to

comment on it. My wife accused me of

having affair with my sister. I knew

that my wife didn't believe it and was

simply saying that to make me angry,

hurt or sad. I didn't become sad, angry

or hurt. But, this kind of behavior was

beyond my definition and boundary of

dignity, civility and human respect.

Yes, I thought my wife was *bad*! In

somewhat similar way that many

*terrorist*, child molesters, robbers

are *bad*. Just part of the reality -

yet, I know they can hurt. I do call

behavior of child molesters, terrorists,

thieves, robbers *bad* and I don't think

calling that behavior bad hurts me or

is stressful to me. It is just a fact.

I got up at 6.30 AM. Checked my office

mails, checked Internet, I brushed, I

gave my son milk and I woke my daughter

up at 7.15 AM to get her ready for

school, I asked my wife to get up in 15

minutes to help my daughter get ready

[today was her school picture day]. My

wife didn't wake up until 7.45AM - so I

went and woke her up again. She woke up

and called my daughter [7 year old]

bitch and leper for not being able to

get ready by herself. Those were kind

of words that I had rarely heard before

my marriage.

Those are among the words that I

have never used for my children. And,

when my wife uses it, I don't know what

kind of impact it would have on

daughter especially when she is

starting her day like that. Little

later, my daughter was upset and angry

with her mom, she was not talking to

her mom and was not ready to take her

help. I helped my daughter put on shoes

and dropped her to her school and came

to work.

I haven't called my wife yet. But, I

will after posting this message.

Love,

ac.

[Guest guest]

ac, dear one! did you ever get angry about/with your parents about

choosing such a women for you to marry?

did they tell you the truth about arranged marriages?

how are the emergency exits in this tradition if a marriage within

this framework is not working happily?

love rose

> I reached home yesterday night around

> 8.00PM. My daughter became very excited

> and happy seeing me. My son started

> jumping on the sofa in joy. I asked my

> daughter about her school. I played

> horsy-horsy with my son and daughter. I

> played balloons with my son. I took my

> son out in stroller [yes, at 9.00PM]. I

> went upstairs with my son and daughter

> my daughter and I read together. My son

> played with books and puzzles in the

> same room. I put my daughter and son to

> sleep around 10.30 PM.

>

> When I reached home my wife was on

> sofa watching TV. Little later, when I

> was free from my son and daughter I

> hugged her. When I was feeding my son

> and my wife was seating on the sofa

> watching TV, I asked my wife to help

> our daughter take bath. Hearing this

> wife became angry saying that our

> daughter should know what to do. Little

> later she did shout on her for not

> doing shampoo and helped her shampoo. I

> didn't like my wife's getting angry at

> me or my daughter.

>

> I told my wife that she has to get up

> tomorrow at 7.30 to help our daughter

> get ready and to pack her lunch. I

> asked my wife to go to bed and rest but

> she kept watching TV. When I came down

> she said that one astrologer had told

> that I [her husband] was going to have

> affair with my brother's wife. I found

> it too ridicules and low level even to

> comment on it. My wife accused me of

> having affair with my sister. I knew

> that my wife didn't believe it and was

> simply saying that to make me angry,

> hurt or sad. I didn't become sad, angry

> or hurt. But, this kind of behavior was

> beyond my definition and boundary of

> dignity, civility and human respect.

>

>

> Yes, I thought my wife was *bad*! In

> somewhat similar way that many

> *terrorist*, child molesters, robbers

> are *bad*. Just part of the reality -

> yet, I know they can hurt. I do call

> behavior of child molesters, terrorists,

> thieves, robbers *bad* and I don't think

> calling that behavior bad hurts me or

> is stressful to me. It is just a fact.

>

>

> I got up at 6.30 AM. Checked my office

> mails, checked Internet, I brushed, I

> gave my son milk and I woke my daughter

> up at 7.15 AM to get her ready for

> school, I asked my wife to get up in 15

> minutes to help my daughter get ready

> [today was her school picture day]. My

> wife didn't wake up until 7.45AM - so I

> went and woke her up again. She woke up

> and called my daughter [7 year old]

> bitch and leper for not being able to

> get ready by herself. Those were kind

> of words that I had rarely heard before

> my marriage.

>

> Those are among the words that I

> have never used for my children. And,

> when my wife uses it, I don't know what

> kind of impact it would have on

> daughter especially when she is

> starting her day like that. Little

> later, my daughter was upset and angry

> with her mom, she was not talking to

> her mom and was not ready to take her

> help. I helped my daughter put on shoes

> and dropped her to her school and came

> to work.

>

> I haven't called my wife yet. But, I

> will after posting this message.

>

>

> Love,

> ac.

>

[Guest guest]

>

> ac, dear one! did you ever get angry about/with your parents about

> choosing such a women for you to marry?

> did they tell you the truth about arranged marriages?

> how are the emergency exits in this tradition if a marriage within

> this framework is not working happily?

>

> love rose

Men are " usually " supposed to " rule "

and 'control' 'their' women!

I have found myself unable to do that

as I have failed to even " rule "

and 'control' myself!

LOL

Love,

ac.

[...]

[Guest guest]

you " failed " again!!! go back to my questions! !!!

lr

> > ac, dear one! did you ever get angry about/with your parents

about

> > choosing such a women for you to marry?

> > did they tell you the truth about arranged marriages?

> > how are the emergency exits in this tradition if a marriage

within

> > this framework is not working happily?

> >

> > love rose

>

> Men are " usually " supposed to " rule "

> and 'control' 'their' women!

>

> I have found myself unable to do that

> as I have failed to even " rule "

> and 'control' myself!

>

> LOL

>

> Love,

> ac.

>

> [...]

>

[Guest guest]

>

> darling ac I'm still waiting for your response to these three

> questions, below. love u, rose

> >

>>ac, dear one! did you ever get angry about/with

your parents about choosing such a women for you to marry?

No, I don't think so. I thought [and still think]

that didn't have any choice and they did the best

it was possible for them to do.

>>did they tell you the truth about arranged marriages?

No. But, I don't think they know the " truth " about

arranged marriages. They simply knew/know that it

is somewhat of a 'gamble' - you might get a

partner that matches you and you have a harmonious

marriage or you might get one that doesn't 'match'

you and you have life long struggle. All they think

they can really do is try their best in their 'social

framewor' leave the rest to God.

>>how are the emergency exits in this tradition if a marriage

within this framework is not working happily?

Some people have left [or, in some cases without

leaving] their wife and remarried

another woman without formally divorcing their

wife.

My wife's father did it. My wife's mother was

my father in law's second wife. Even my own

grand father maried twice. My grandfather got re-married

for the sake of wanting a son; my father in law re-married

because his first wife was 'allegedly' crazy.

Both my father in law

and my grand father lived in the same, under same roof

with two wives until one of them died.

Love,

ac.

> > > > love rose

> > >

[Guest guest]

huuuuhaaa what i relief. finally u made it. thank you to

pieces. lr

> > darling ac I'm still waiting for your response to these three

> > questions, below. love u, rose

> > >

>

> >>ac, dear one! did you ever get angry about/with

> your parents about choosing such a women for you to marry?

>

> No, I don't think so. I thought [and still think]

> that didn't have any choice and they did the best

> it was possible for them to do.

>

>

> >>did they tell you the truth about arranged marriages?

>

> No. But, I don't think they know the " truth " about

> arranged marriages. They simply knew/know that it

> is somewhat of a 'gamble' - you might get a

> partner that matches you and you have a harmonious

> marriage or you might get one that doesn't 'match'

> you and you have life long struggle. All they think

> they can really do is try their best in their 'social

> framewor' leave the rest to God.

>

>

>

> >>how are the emergency exits in this tradition if a marriage

> within this framework is not working happily?

>

>

> Some people have left [or, in some cases without

> leaving] their wife and remarried

> another woman without formally divorcing their

> wife.

>

>

> My wife's father did it. My wife's mother was

> my father in law's second wife. Even my own

> grand father maried twice. My grandfather got re-married

> for the sake of wanting a son; my father in law re-married

> because his first wife was 'allegedly' crazy.

>

> Both my father in law

> and my grand father lived in the same, under same roof

> with two wives until one of them died.

>

>

> Love,

> ac.

>

>

> > > > > love rose

> > > >

>

[Guest guest]

adithya.. that sort of thinking is from the dark ages.. -

no one should rule or control anyone..

i guess that is arguing with what is. Well can anyone be controlled

always..

KAtie says dictators are very unhappy people because it never works..

Your wife sure tries.. I wonder if she calls your daughter names

becuase she cant upset you by calling you names.

I think your daughter would be much better off getting ready and doing

everything on her own..

and having the least amount of time with your wife as possible but

then i dont know her path or your wifes.

Your daughter may learn not to be effected by her

and learn a lot.. or teach your wife

in your business as usual rh

-- In Loving-what-is , " adithya_comming "

wrote:

>

>

> >

> > ac, dear one! did you ever get angry about/with your parents about

> > choosing such a women for you to marry?

> > did they tell you the truth about arranged marriages?

> > how are the emergency exits in this tradition if a marriage within

> > this framework is not working happily?

> >

> > love rose

>

> Men are " usually " supposed to " rule "

> and 'control' 'their' women!

>

> I have found myself unable to do that

> as I have failed to even " rule "

> and 'control' myself!

>

> LOL

>

> Love,

> ac.

>

> [...]

>

[Guest guest]

HI,

Just a reminder that you can't really know what is in the daughter's best

interests. For that matter, you don't really know the family dynamics as you are

only reading one side of it. Yes, the wife sounds awful but we don't have a full

picture and certainly can't see things from the child's point of view.

vivian

Re: A [typical] Night and Day ... [or, why I think

my wife is *bad*!].

adithya.. that sort of thinking is from the dark ages.. -

no one should rule or control anyone..

i guess that is arguing with what is. Well can anyone be controlled

always..

KAtie says dictators are very unhappy people because it never works..

Your wife sure tries.. I wonder if she calls your daughter names

becuase she cant upset you by calling you names.

I think your daughter would be much better off getting ready and doing

everything on her own..

and having the least amount of time with your wife as possible but

then i dont know her path or your wifes.

Your daughter may learn not to be effected by her

and learn a lot.. or teach your wife

in your business as usual rh

-- In Loving-what-is , " adithya_comming "

wrote:

>

>

> >

> > ac, dear one! did you ever get angry about/with your parents about

> > choosing such a women for you to marry?

> > did they tell you the truth about arranged marriages?

> > how are the emergency exits in this tradition if a marriage within

> > this framework is not working happily?

> >

> > love rose

>

> Men are " usually " supposed to " rule "

> and 'control' 'their' women!

>

> I have found myself unable to do that

> as I have failed to even " rule "

> and 'control' myself!

>

> LOL

>

> Love,

> ac.

>

> [...]

>

[Guest guest]

very true.. thanks.. rh

> > >

> > > ac, dear one! did you ever get angry about/with your parents

about

> > > choosing such a women for you to marry?

> > > did they tell you the truth about arranged marriages?

> > > how are the emergency exits in this tradition if a marriage

within

> > > this framework is not working happily?

> > >

> > > love rose

> >

> > Men are " usually " supposed to " rule "

> > and 'control' 'their' women!

> >

> > I have found myself unable to do that

> > as I have failed to even " rule "

> > and 'control' myself!

> >

> > LOL

> >

> > Love,

> > ac.

> >

> > [...]

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>