Re: ~ Men :-)

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I just had to pipe up on this. I couldn't let this one go by. is

absolutely correct. I for one, met an amazing man... my true soul mate

and very best friend. I was in a horrible first marriage to an

emotional abusive idiot who also cheated on me more time than I could

count. Once the idiot walked out of my life, I hit rock bottom with the

depression. I'm sure I've said this story before, but I think you need

to hear this.

I was at the very bottom and seriously contemplated ending my life. The

only thing that kept me going were my dogs. They needed me.. and would

have been lost if anything would have happened to me. The routine of

getting up every day, going to work, coming home to an empty house

besides my dogs, was more than I could cope with at that time.

One day at work (September of 1996) a co-worker suggested that I get the

Internet and find out more information on my truck. I had a Dodge

Dakota (still do, but a newer one now) and loved my truck. I figured

out how to use the Internet and managed to find a mailing list for

fellow Dodge Dakota owners. I subscribed... got tons of e-mail that

kept me busy reading and replying, had all my truck questions answered,

and enjoyed the companionship.

Once day, I posted a question about what I should do with all the snow

that the bed of the truck had accumulated. One man responded to build a

snowman and drive around with it in the truck bed. I noticed a

quotation in his signature line that caught my eye. It was a quote from

a science fiction tv program that I watched regularly. I commented on

it, he replied back, we started e-mailing back and forth privately on a

regular basis and discovered so many things we had in common. He was a

single man, 15 years my junior, alone and unhappy. As he was 23 at that

time and I was 38, I thought I'd give him a few pointers on meeting

women and dating. I had no intention of sparking up a relationship with

him as he was 2000 miles away, in another country, and our ages

difference wouldn't be fair to him (or so I thought).

We met on the mailing list in November of 1996 and by December we had

fallen in love without even knowing what each other looked like. I am

overweight (a lot - trust me), older, not even divorced, and yet he

still fell in love with me. It shocked both of us. By July 1997,

had moved to Toronto, Canada from Salt Lake City, Utah and we were

married by November 1998. This is definitely the reader's digest

version of the story as so much happened in between, it would definitely

be a novel. Hopefully I'll write it into one soon.

Sooo... in a nutshell... there are many men out there that are alone,

lonely, and have given up on ever meeting anyone that would be right for

them. Love strikes you when you least expect it and usually when you

aren't looking or even interested. I know that a relationship for

myself was the very last thing on my mind. I wanted nothing from a man

ever again at that point.

Sooo... when I was at my lowest point in life and wanted to end it all..

was when this wonderful man was basically dropped into my life.

Apologies to anyone regarding this next statement that has different

beliefs from myself... I firmly believe that my higher power saw that I

had basically been carrying a load/burden that was more than I could

handle and deserved a break in life. This is my personal belief and I'm

not expecting anyone to agree with it.. I'm just passing on my

experience and how I have interpreted it.

loving hugs to you and all,

Norah

Norah Bleazard - Burlington, Ontario Canada

www.bleazard.net ~ www.janorlites.com

E-MAIL=

norah.fibroyahoo@...

CHAT=

MSN = black_dak_98@...

Yahoo = drazaelbn

AIM = black98dak

ICQ = 105346330

Fibromites_Fighting_Weight:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Fibromites_Fighting_Weight

http://fibromites.ath.cx

wrote:

>Never give up , there are plenty of wonderful men out there. I

>thought the same as you did up until 2 years ago and then just by

>chance I met a wonderful guy. He accepts me as I am, fibro and all,

>even the getting up three million times during the middle of the night

>LOL And both of my kids adore him. And I am in a worse boat than you

>girl, I will be 40 this year and also overweight! The only downside is

>that he lives 4 hours south of me in Louisiana but we spend as much

>time as we can together. Will it ever lead to marriage?? Who knows, we

>haven't talked about that, however, it did renew my faith that God

>will put someone in your life when HE thinks the time is right.

>

>**hugs**

>

>

>

>

>

> > So I just need to find myself a kind and caring man to

> > be part of my son's and my life. But unfortunately

> > with all my health problems, plus that I am overweight

> > and I am a single mother, I don't see that ever

> > happening. Add to that the fact that I am extremely

> > independant and it is an almost gaurantee that I will

> > remain single for the rest of my natural born life.

>

>

>

>

>1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as

>to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr.

>Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to

>certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

>

>2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be

>afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation

>better.

>

>

>Have a nice day everyone.

>

>

>

>*

[Guest guest]

Gee, you guys keep this up and you might give me faith

that there ARE some really great guys still left out

there. LOL

I will definitely keep this in mind. Especially as

has already informed me that he wants me to get

married cause he wants a dad.....

Thank you so much. You guys really are making me think

thath there still might be hope for me yet. :-)

--- Norah Bleazard

wrote:

> Hi ,

>

> I just had to pipe up on this. I couldn't let this

> one go by. is

> absolutely correct.

=====

If I can't serve as a good example, then I guess I'll just have to serve as a

horrible warning.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Write about this part of your life as much as you like Norah.. I am smiling as I

type.. I just love to hear happy stories!

Hugs

Penny

On 19/08/2004 19:23:39, fibromyalgia_support_group wrote:

> Hi ,

>

> I just had to pipe up on this. I

> couldn't let this one go by. is

> absolutely correct. I for one, met an amazing man... my true soul mate

> and very best friend.

[Guest guest]

,

The way I met my current " beau " was truly a chance happening, God's

intervention I guess?? I was casually dating someone at the time but

it was nothing serious because we both knew he was moving back to

Washington State in March of last year, so basically it was just good

friends going out together to keep from being alone.

We went to a get-together in Conway, AR because some friends of mine

invited us up for a big mardi gras party up there. The sunday morning

after the mardi gras party we are all eating breakfast at a local

resturant and this guy shows up and joins us. He was friends with some

other people that had attended the party. Didn't even really talk to

him, just to say hello and introduce ourselves. Then forgot about it.

My friend moved back to Washington State earlier than expected, First

of March. About a week after that I get an email from the guy who had

been at breakfast, he had tracked down my email by asking from friend

to friend of the people he knew that had been there!! LOL

We started talking, VERY cautiously on my part at first, because I was

thinking this is really weird. Anyway, we talked in email and on the

phone for almost a month and then met in person for a " date. " That was

last April. We see each other at least once a month for the weekend,

sometimes twice, talk to each other on the phone and emal.

Is it perfect? No, because we live 4 hours apart. But for right now it

is what we both need, although I think both of us would like more. We

are going to " test " that in two weeks. We are going on a week long

cruise together LOL

I guess the moral of this story is, just have faith. God will bring

someone to you when HE knows the time is right.

> Gee, you guys keep this up and you might give me faith

> that there ARE some really great guys still left out

> there. LOL

[Guest guest]

At 11:32 AM 8/19/2004 -0700, Tarvin wrote:

>Gee, you guys keep this up and you might give me faith

>that there ARE some really great guys still left out

>there. LOL

,

My first husband was a real dud. I wanted a divorce before I even married

him. He gave me an engagement ring for my birthday, and after I spent a

week admiring the pretty diamond, I realized I just wanted the ring and not

him. I just had a feeling about him. I was going to give him back the ring,

had a speech all planned, and then found out I was preggers. So we got

married, and in 18 1/2 years he had 24 different jobs, and went long

stretches without working at all. I hated him, and he was a terrible

father. He never once went outside with the kids to play ball, or do

anything else with them. I was the mother, so they were MY responsibility.

We didn't have a phone, and he'd go off with his friends to ride motocross

or go fishing or hunting. Sometimes I'd be left alone with the kids for 3

or 4 days in a row, I couldn't drive (he had the only car anyway) and I was

going bonkers.

One night he raped me...I wasn't in the mood, so he got out the jar of

Vaseline & threw me on the bed and, well, you get the picture. And it

wasn't the last time he pulled that nasty ritual. Then he got involved with

cocaine (he'd been smoking pot since before we were married, but I wouldn't

allow it in the house). My daughter was 10 months old and picked up a virus

her brothers had. She lost nearly half her weight overnight, and I made Bob

take her to the hospital. (he always thought I was being over-reactive when

I wanted to take the kids to a doctor). When the doctor saw her, he called

Social Services, and they nearly took her away from me. They didn't know if

she would even live, and I was being grilled by Social Services, and it was

a total nightmare. She lived, but was in the hospital, in isolation, for 10

days. When we got her back, we had to have a lady from Social Services come

out every week and make sure we were taking proper care of all our children.

When we got home that night, Bob went next door to our neighbor's place.

I didn't know it at the time, but the guy was a big-time cocaine dealer

(and user). After about 10 minutes Bob came back and told me to come with

him to Chris's. I'd never seen cocaine before, but when approached me

with a mirror with some lines laid out, I knew what it was. I said NO, and

tried to leave. Bob grabbed my arms and held them behind my back and

covered my mouth with his other hand. put the straw up my nose and I

had no choice but to inhale, I was suffocating. I hated both of them for

that. kept coming over to our place with bottles of coke...once he

gave me a gram, which I put on a shelf and forgot about. I didn't want

anything to do with it. After a few more " forced " inhalations, I started to

feel it...that's the thing about cocaine, the first few times you " do " it

you don't feel anything. After a while, though, it makes you feel like the

world is great and you can do anything. I'm ashamed to admit, the next 12

years I did coke any time I could get it. I never did it in front of the

kids, and always waited til they were asleep for the night, but I'm still

ashamed of what I did. After a while I started getting horrendous migraines

after doing coke (I'd had them before, so this was nothing new), then one

night I over-dosed and hallucinated. That's when I stopped cold. I refused

to have the stuff in the house.

I was working as a waitress in a hotel, and there was a group of TBI (Tenn.

Bureau of Investigation) officers staying there, investigating computer

fraud. They were there for 6 months, and I became involved with one of

them. He wanted me to get a divorce and marry him, but I was afraid of

changing my life so much at that time. But I was sick of the cocaine...It

was being flown in directly from Columbia by some " friends " of ours, Bob

was taking all my tips (about $500 a week) & spending it on coke. I decided

to narc on them. I told my " friend " about it, all the details, and even

brought him a gram. He said he'd look into it. This was in September, and

nothing happened, so I figured it wasn't all that important. Then the bust

went down, bigtime. The coke was being flown into a small airport in

ville, TN, and the TBI got everyone involved, down to the guys Bob was

getting it from. They actually asked me to hold onto all their

paraphernalia while they were in prison! They never found out it was me who

turned them in, but I was living in fear that they would find out and " take

care " of me.

Anyway, this is supposed to be about great guys. I'd started working at the

bookstore, and met . We had the same interests, and used to go to

the movies together on our days off. He was 12 years younger than me, but

everyone figured we were an " item " . We swore we were just friends. I told

him EVERYTHING about my life, and he was sympathetic and told me it wasn't

my fault. He gave me the courage to move out into an apartment of my own,

and he came to visit and never left. His parents hated me, they thought I'd

spend his $21,000 (I can't think of the word, some kind of fund that

becomes available at a certain age, begins with an " r " , dratted fibro fog).

He paid for my divorce, and used the rest of the money to buy a car. Oh

yes, he also took me to Jamaica for a week, which was an experience. We

were robbed our first day there. Not fun. They took us to the top of a

mountain and said if we wanted to leave we'd give them all our money. I

said all our travelers's checks were in the motel safe (a lie, it was

hidden in a secret compartment of my wallet), and they actually said if I'd

cash in $50 worth and gave it to them at the hotel, they'd leave us alone.

When we got back (the walk back was terrible, I kept expecting a knife in

the back or a gunshot to some part that would really hurt) we immediately

told the police. The motel had a police officer living there, and he

rounded up the usual suspects. We recognized them, but from the looks they

gave us, I knew if we identified them we'd be dead. So we said we didn't

recognize any of them. The police knew we were lying, but word got around

and no one bothered us for the rest of the trip (except for the guys who

followed us and asked if we wanted some ganga, but usually they were

undercover police officers so we weren't really bothered by them. One

honeymoon couple fell for it and ended up in jail with a $500 fine each).

Anyway, & I will be celebrating our 14th anniversary in October,

and I can say I'm lucky to have found him. We never argue (sometimes we

have disagreements, but we don't " fight " like Bob & I did) My kids all love

him, and prefer him to their own father. They said he takes care of me the

way a husband should, and he treats me well, which makes him a king in

their eyes.

Well, I've babbled enough....but the point of all this is, I lived almost

19 years of pure hell, as did my children, and I found the perfect mate by

pure accident. It started out as a friendship based on similar likes &

dislikes, and I think that's what a marriage should be based on. (as well

as God, but I know this isn't a list to talk about that...and I could fill

a page with the time I had bringing to God). But my heart goes with

you, and don't ever give up....love comes when it will, and when you least

expect it. I'll be on the sidelines rooting for you!

cyn

clmerritt@...

" Not bad for my first time with a gun. I shot that sucker right in the gumpy. "

-J. Evaovich