Do you find it strange too?

[Guest guest]

Do you find it strange too?

I wear prescription glasses while driving. I am legally required to

wear these correction glasses while driving because my eyesight is

not 20/20.

My old pair broke so recently I got a new pair of glasses with

correction built into a Ray Ban sun glasses. My wife saw me wearing

them and said they look " too fancy " and I might be wearing them just

to look attractive to women! Saying that she took away my glasses

and hid it! I told her that it is legal requirement and I am not

supposed to drive without them but, saying so didn't change her

decision.

Now, I drive without wearing correction glasses and can get traffic

ticket or even license suspension if caught by a cop!

I find it really strange and quite mindless!

Do you find it strange too?

What will you do in such situations?

[Guest guest]

arvind, why are you asking this?

>

> Do you find it strange too?

>

> I wear prescription glasses while driving. I am legally required

to

> wear these correction glasses while driving because my eyesight is

> not 20/20.

>

> My old pair broke so recently I got a new pair of glasses with

> correction built into a Ray Ban sun glasses. My wife saw me

wearing

> them and said they look " too fancy " and I might be wearing them

just

> to look attractive to women! Saying that she took away my glasses

> and hid it! I told her that it is legal requirement and I am not

> supposed to drive without them but, saying so didn't change her

> decision.

>

> Now, I drive without wearing correction glasses and can get

traffic

> ticket or even license suspension if caught by a cop!

>

> I find it really strange and quite mindless!

>

> Do you find it strange too?

>

> What will you do in such situations?

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Do you find it strange too?

>

> I wear prescription glasses while driving. I am legally required

to

> wear these correction glasses while driving because my eyesight is

> not 20/20.

>

> My old pair broke so recently I got a new pair of glasses with

> correction built into a Ray Ban sun glasses. My wife saw me

wearing

> them and said they look " too fancy " and I might be wearing them

just

> to look attractive to women! Saying that she took away my glasses

> and hid it! I told her that it is legal requirement and I am not

> supposed to drive without them but, saying so didn't change her

> decision.

>

> Now, I drive without wearing correction glasses and can get

traffic

> ticket or even license suspension if caught by a cop!

>

> I find it really strange and quite mindless!

>

> Do you find it strange too?

>

> What will you do in such situations?

i would tell her that she now has to drive u every single way you

have to make. to work, to get things bought. whatever.

>

[Guest guest]

>

> arvind, why are you asking this?

I think that sould be clear after reading:

" What will you do in such situations? "

However, it is more a question for people

who think/write " like " LTW, Steve, ...

Because, I think your answer might be to

" not live with " such a person.

Is that correct?

Love,

ac.

> >

> > Do you find it strange too?

> >

> > I wear prescription glasses while driving. I am legally required

> to

> > wear these correction glasses while driving because my eyesight

is

> > not 20/20.

> >

> > My old pair broke so recently I got a new pair of glasses with

> > correction built into a Ray Ban sun glasses. My wife saw me

> wearing

> > them and said they look " too fancy " and I might be wearing them

> just

> > to look attractive to women! Saying that she took away my

glasses

> > and hid it! I told her that it is legal requirement and I am not

> > supposed to drive without them but, saying so didn't change her

> > decision.

> >

> > Now, I drive without wearing correction glasses and can get

> traffic

> > ticket or even license suspension if caught by a cop!

> >

> > I find it really strange and quite mindless!

> >

> > Do you find it strange too?

> >

> > What will you do in such situations?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Of course you may get license suspension by a cop.

That's what they do to people who don't wear their prescription

glasses while driving!

You make it sound like it were your wife's fault if you drove without

glasses!

;-)

And from a " work " -point-of-view:

Who is the one driving without prescription glasses?

Love,

Am 19.09.2006 um 19:41 schrieb adithya_comming:

> Do you find it strange too?

>

> I wear prescription glasses while driving. I am legally required to

> wear these correction glasses while driving because my eyesight is

> not 20/20.

>

> My old pair broke so recently I got a new pair of glasses with

> correction built into a Ray Ban sun glasses. My wife saw me wearing

> them and said they look " too fancy " and I might be wearing them just

> to look attractive to women! Saying that she took away my glasses

> and hid it! I told her that it is legal requirement and I am not

> supposed to drive without them but, saying so didn't change her

> decision.

>

> Now, I drive without wearing correction glasses and can get traffic

> ticket or even license suspension if caught by a cop!

>

> I find it really strange and quite mindless!

>

> Do you find it strange too?

>

> What will you do in such situations?

___________________________________________________________

Telefonate ohne weitere Kosten vom PC zum PC: http://messenger.yahoo.de

[Guest guest]

well. arvind - first, thanks for responding.

> > arvind, why are you asking this?

>

> I think that sould be clear after reading:

*** well. there are more than one way/s to interpret your question.

>

> " What will you do in such situations? "

>

> However, it is more a question for people

> who think/write " like " LTW, Steve, ...

*** i see. the general way of your words, didn't make that clear

before. now it is.

>

> Because, I think your answer might be to

> " not live with " such a person.

>

> Is that correct?

*** I'm not sure.

i don't know what made you get together with your wife. was it a

love marriage, was it an arranged marriage. you seem to come from a

different cultural background. my socialisation is different to

yours. the ideals i'm still favourising might also be different.

from what you described of your wife, she might be a rather afraid

person. or maybe she is a person with a psychological script that

says: men are there to get bleeded. i don't know.

i could be many other reasons.

i don't know what keeps you to be with her, other than your kids. it

is not my job to know it. that is yours. i hear u have your reasons.

and you say you love her. that is great. i see that you in a

way " struggle " to deal/cope with your life situation and i truely

admire you for this.

" rose would not chose " to marry someone who doesn't respect her

personal limits. i was very clear with my husband before we got

married, about what i think about relationships. about my dark sides

and my bright sides. we both shared all to the bottom before we made

that step.

and then, just another thought: on the other end. the photo you put

into the profile looks in a way rather tempting. (to me ) ) may be

you are flirting with women and your wife senses it and is afraid to

loose you. no matter how much u say u don't ... ... ... .

why did you marry her? why do you stay with her? do you " abuse " her

for any religious/philosophical ideals? are you the " good guy in

this relationship and she's the " ... " one? did you know what you

know now about her, before you got married? have you been very young

when you got married?

(these are questions for you, the answers as well. not for me. ok.)

that's it for the moment.

lr

[Guest guest]

Re: Do you find it strange too?

>>well. arvind - first, thanks for responding.

Thanks.

> > arvind, why are you asking this?

>

> I think that sould be clear after reading:

>>*** well. there are more than one way/s to interpret your question.

Yes.

>

> " What will you do in such situations? "

>

> However, it is more a question for people

> who think/write " like " LTW, Steve, ...

>>*** i see. the general way of your words, didn't make that clear

before. now it is.

Yes, I can understand that.

>

> Because, I think your answer might be to

> " not live with " such a person.

>

> Is that correct?

>>*** I'm not sure.

I think that is *good*.

>>i don't know what made you get together with your wife. was it a

love marriage, was it an arranged marriage.

Arranged marriage – my wife and I had never met, talked or seen each

other before marriage.

>>you seem to come from a

different cultural background. my socialisation is different to

yours.

Yes, I think that is true.

>>the ideals i'm still favourising might also be different.

from what you described of your wife, she might be a rather afraid

person.

Yes, I think that is true.

>>or maybe she is a person with a psychological script that

says: men are there to get bleeded. i don't know.

i could be many other reasons.

i don't know what keeps you to be with her, other than your kids.

Kids are very big part of it. My wife's parents and my parents are

other very big part.

>>it is not my job to know it. that is yours.

Sure.

>>i hear u have your reasons.

and you say you love her.

Yes.

>> that is great. i see that you in a

way " struggle " to deal/cope with your life situation and i truely

admire you for this.

Thanks.

>> " rose would not chose " to marry someone who doesn't respect her

personal limits.

Neither might I...

But, I may not leave such a person once I was already married to one.

>>i was very clear with my husband before we got

married, about what i think about relationships. about my dark sides

and my bright sides. we both shared all to the bottom before we made

that step.

That sounds like a good approach to me.

>>and then, just another thought: on the other end. the photo you put

into the profile looks in a way rather tempting. (to me ) ) may be

you are flirting with women and your wife senses it and is afraid to

loose you. no matter how much u say u don't ... ... ... .

Yes, there could be some truth to it.

>>why did you marry her? why do you stay with her?

>> do you " abuse " her

for any religious/philosophical ideals?

I don't think so. My wife doesn't like about these and as a result

we almost never talk about these.

>>are you the " good guy in

this relationship and she's the " ... " one?

Well... most people including myself, her parents, my parents,

my extended family, her extended family says so.

>>did you know what you

know now about her, before you got married?

No.

>> have you been very young

when you got married?

Maybe. I was 23 and she was 19. is that too young?

>>(these are questions for you, the answers as well. not for me. ok.)

I answered them anyway.

>>that's it for the moment.

>>lr

Thanks!

Love,

ac.

[Guest guest]

there's something about you (or my thinking about you) that

touches me tenderly. strange. i read recently that less then 10 % of

a communication go through the words. there's all these other

communicating level/expressions also. ...

again thanks for responding. even if you even answered the

questions. )

> > Because, I think your answer might be to

> > " not live with " such a person.

> >

> > Is that correct?

>

> >>*** I'm not sure.

>

> I think that is *good*.

*** : )

>

> >>i don't know what made you get together with your wife. was it a

> love marriage, was it an arranged marriage.

>

> Arranged marriage – my wife and I had never met, talked or seen

each other before marriage.

*** hm. i have no experience with a setting like this. i can only

fantasize about it, collect memoriesmixtures from movies, or from a

stay in india a very long time ago. ...

>

>

> >>you seem to come from a

> different cultural background. my socialisation is different to

> yours.

>

> Yes, I think that is true.

me too.

>

>

>

> >>the ideals i'm still favourising might also be different.

> from what you described of your wife, she might be a rather afraid

> person.

>

> Yes, I think that is true.

well. you describe a context that seems not really to gave her a

setting to become an indipendend selfsufficient person. my darling

was married to an italian woman from a little village with very

strong rules in the first marriage. she was overwhelmed by the

freedom of his cultural background. as far as i understood you are

living in CA. how does your wife cope with the difference of her

in " comparison " with a CA woman? ( i know they are not all the same)

>

>

> >>or maybe she is a person with a psychological script that

> says: men are there to get bleeded. i don't know.

> i could be many other reasons.

> i don't know what keeps you to be with her, other than your kids.

>

> Kids are very big part of it. My wife's parents and my parents are

> other very big part.

oh yes. i think so too. your family setting seems to be very strong

in it's rules. the consensus in it is perhaps passed over since

generations. that is not easy. for someone like you with different

interesses it could become a real challenge.

>

>

> >>it is not my job to know it. that is yours.

>

> Sure.

it's not that i'm not caring. i just don't want to interfere, or

pester, or be in your business, leavin' my own. ok?

>

> >>i hear u have your reasons.

> and you say you love her.

>

> Yes.

love is something that can grow from different angles, different

directions. it is not a simple thing. how open is she to serve your

wishes/desires? how open are you?

>

> >> that is great. i see that you in a

> way " struggle " to deal/cope with your life situation and i truely

> admire you for this.

>

> Thanks.

: ) it's true. not a hollow compliment.

>

> >> " rose would not chose " to marry someone who doesn't respect her

> personal limits.

>

> Neither might I...

>

> But, I may not leave such a person once I was already married to

one.

*** what do you mean with " may " not?

>

>

>

> >>i was very clear with my husband before we got

> married, about what i think about relationships. about my dark

sides

> and my bright sides. we both shared all to the bottom before we

made

> that step.

>

> That sounds like a good approach to me.

it works wonderfully. since about 16 years. we are truely happy

together. sometimes saying jokingly we will make the next hundred

lifetimes together as well. )

>

>

> >>and then, just another thought: on the other end. the photo you

put

> into the profile looks in a way rather tempting. (to me ) ) may

be

> you are flirting with women and your wife senses it and is afraid

to

> loose you. no matter how much u say u don't ... ... ... .

well what i thought, (just rather simple) after sending the last

posting to you, was, ray ban sunglasses, here, as i came to know

about them are considered as pickup accessoires. (don't know if that

is true at all, it's just what i learned about ray ban)

>

>

> Yes, there could be some truth to it.

***yes.

>

> >> do you " abuse " her

> for any religious/philosophical ideals?

>

> I don't think so. My wife doesn't like about these and as a result

> we almost never talk about these.

*** reread this again. if you like.

>

> >>are you the " good " guy in

> this relationship and she's the " ... " one?

>

> Well... most people including myself, her parents, my parents,

> my extended family, her extended family says so.

hm. and how does she like it?

>

>

> >>did you know what you

> know now about her, before you got married?

>

> No.

oh. why did you marry in such a setting?

> >> have you been very young

> when you got married?

>

> Maybe. I was 23 and she was 19. is that too young?

is there any " too " at all? but in a way yes. i think it is at least

young. you weren't differentiated enough to have a real choice. in a

way. but on the other side. you know, this is your path. " i " is the

first lie. remember.

> >>(these are questions for you, the answers as well. not for me.

ok.)

>

> I answered them anyway.

love rose

>

> >>that's it for the moment.

>

> >>lr

>

> Thanks!

>

> Love,

> ac.

>

[Guest guest]

> there's something about you (or my thinking about you) that

> touches me tenderly. strange.

ac. i would say it is these moments in your postings when your heart

comes through. this touches mine. a heart to heart connection around

the globe. in a way i'm scratching my head now, can this be " true " how

do you sense it? sorry if that's (perhaps) too francly now. i am

speaking literally.

lr

[Guest guest]

> hm. alexander, hi ac. that's interesting.

>

> here is a kind of interface. my first response, (she shall drive

him,

> if she hids his glasses) was coming from the point that if he

cannot

> buy new ones (again and again, perhaps, if neccessary) due to

money

> reasons, and he is perhaps the one who earns the family income,

and

> wants to keep the rules (not driving without glasses) then she

needs

> to drive him. or work herself for the money. through this way she

> might get aware of her the consequences of what she's doing.

>

> let me rephrase it. my reponse was in other words: i would resist

> driving without the glasses. (rose is fan of rules that can make

> traffic safer - if people follow ; )) ) tell it to her, and ask

her

> what else ideas she can bring up, other than she drives arvind

> around. ( " knowing " that " money " and " time " often can - but not

must -

> be a great support in getting things clearer in the thinking.)

>

> lr

>

>

> > You make it sound like it were your wife's fault if you drove

> without

> > glasses!

> > ;-)

> >

> > And from a " work " -point-of-view:

> > Who is the one driving without prescription glasses?

> >

> > Love,

> >

[Guest guest]

>

> there's something about you (or my thinking about you) that

> touches me tenderly.

Thanks. But, I don't really know.

I think I am a " good " person though

Some people have said that they find

me " child like " . I am not really sure,

why.

> strange. i read recently that less then 10 % of

> a communication go through the words. there's all these other

> communicating level/expressions also. ...

Yes, I think that is true.

>

> again thanks for responding. even if you even answered the

> questions. )

>

> > > Because, I think your answer might be to

> > > " not live with " such a person.

> > >

> > > Is that correct?

> >

> > >>*** I'm not sure.

> >

> > I think that is *good*.

>

>

> *** : )

>

> >

> > >>i don't know what made you get together with your wife. was it a

> > love marriage, was it an arranged marriage.

> >

> > Arranged marriage – my wife and I had never met, talked or seen

> each other before marriage.

>

> *** hm. i have no experience with a setting like this. i can only

> fantasize about it, collect memoriesmixtures from movies, or from a

> stay in india a very long time ago. ...

> >

> >

> > >>you seem to come from a

> > different cultural background. my socialisation is different to

> > yours.

> >

> > Yes, I think that is true.

>

> me too.

> >

> >

> >

> > >>the ideals i'm still favourising might also be different.

> > from what you described of your wife, she might be a rather afraid

> > person.

> >

> > Yes, I think that is true.

>

> well. you describe a context that seems not really to gave her a

> setting to become an indipendend selfsufficient person. my darling

> was married to an italian woman from a little village with very

> strong rules in the first marriage. she was overwhelmed by the

> freedom of his cultural background. as far as i understood you are

> living in CA. how does your wife cope with the difference of her

> in " comparison " with a CA woman? ( i know they are not all the same)

She has had very limited interactions with

American women. California has a large Indian

community and she has mostly intercted in that

community only.

Though, she might have something against

" working " " career " woman. She has broken

sevral relationships simply because

the woman was a career woman.

Perhaps, she thinks that I might expect

same from her, might compare her or that

I might fall for her.

I remember that the day after marriage

I talked to her brother and she listened.

After listening she said that she felt

that she was not going to be able to match

me at mental level and wondered if that

was going to be a problem.

Maybe, she is still insecure about it.

She is/ws extremely beautiful though.

I thought irrespctive of everything else,

she could pretty much have any man whe wanted.

In physical attributes and beauty area,

she was certainly as attractive as a

model or film actress. And, you how crazy

most man are after women of that kind...

I thought she had absolutely no reason

to insecure about.

In a way, I was extremely lucky to

be married to such a beautiful woman.

>

> >

> >

> > >>or maybe she is a person with a psychological script that

> > says: men are there to get bleeded. i don't know.

> > i could be many other reasons.

> > i don't know what keeps you to be with her, other than your kids.

> >

> > Kids are very big part of it. My wife's parents and my parents are

> > other very big part.

>

> oh yes. i think so too. your family setting seems to be very strong

> in it's rules. the consensus in it is perhaps passed over since

> generations. that is not easy. for someone like you with different

> interesses it could become a real challenge.

It is mainly not wanting to hurt

feelings, family image, reputation

and pride.

Now, it is becoming somewhat easier

but, still not completely gone...

> >

> >

> > >>it is not my job to know it. that is yours.

> >

> > Sure.

>

> it's not that i'm not caring. i just don't want to interfere, or

> pester, or be in your business, leavin' my own. ok?

I understand.

> >

> > >>i hear u have your reasons.

> > and you say you love her.

> >

> > Yes.

>

> love is something that can grow from different angles, different

> directions. it is not a simple thing. how open is she to serve your

> wishes/desires?

No, she is not open.

> how open are you?

I think I am open to a large extent.

> >

> > >> that is great. i see that you in a

> > way " struggle " to deal/cope with your life situation and i truely

> > admire you for this.

> >

> > Thanks.

>

> : ) it's true. not a hollow compliment.

Thanks again

> >

> > >> " rose would not chose " to marry someone who doesn't respect her

> > personal limits.

> >

> > Neither might I...

> >

> > But, I may not leave such a person once I was already married to

> one.

>

> *** what do you mean with " may " not?

That I am not completely sure.

If it becomes too difficult for children and myself,

separtion can still happen though, it is not very

likely.

> >

> >

> >

> > >>i was very clear with my husband before we got

> > married, about what i think about relationships. about my dark

> sides

> > and my bright sides. we both shared all to the bottom before we

> made

> > that step.

> >

> > That sounds like a good approach to me.

>

> it works wonderfully. since about 16 years. we are truely happy

> together. sometimes saying jokingly we will make the next hundred

> lifetimes together as well. )

I can believe that.

> >

> >

> > >>and then, just another thought: on the other end. the photo you

> put

> > into the profile looks in a way rather tempting. (to me ) ) may

> be

> > you are flirting with women and your wife senses it and is afraid

> to

> > loose you. no matter how much u say u don't ... ... ... .

>

> well what i thought, (just rather simple) after sending the last

> posting to you, was, ray ban sunglasses, here, as i came to know

> about them are considered as pickup accessoires. (don't know if that

> is true at all, it's just what i learned about ray ban)

I had never heard that about ray Ban glasses.

I thought they had stopped being " cool " long

time back and weren't considered hype or trendy

anymore.

>

> >

> >

> > Yes, there could be some truth to it.

>

> ***yes.

>

>

> >

> > >> do you " abuse " her

> > for any religious/philosophical ideals?

> >

> > I don't think so. My wife doesn't like talking about these and as

a result we almost never talk about these.

>

> *** reread this again. if you like.

Yes, there are was typo in it.

is that what you are trying to point to?

Or, are we trying to point to us never

talking about these things?

There is definetely a lack of communication in our marriage.

Many times when I open my mouth, it results in fights.

Most other times, our communication consists of my wife

talking and me listening. What my wife usually talks is:

- How bad my wife's friends are.

- How great my wife's friend's husbands are.

- How bad my parents are.

- How good my wife's parents are.

- How everyone thinks that I am a

good guy and my wife is bad and how wrong everyone is.

- How everyone praises me just because I

have money and they want to get my money.

and,

- Am I having an affair?

- Did I look at that woman?

- How hurt she is by the affair that I

had two years before I had met my wife.

> >

> > >>are you the " good " guy in

> > this relationship and she's the " ... " one?

> >

> > Well... most people including myself, her parents, my parents,

> > my extended family, her extended family says so.

>

> hm. and how does she like it?

I think I answered that above.

> >

> >

> > >>did you know what you

> > know now about her, before you got married?

> >

> > No.

>

> oh. why did you marry in such a setting?

I thought other choice (love marriage)

would have been quite painful to my family

[parents and siblings].

Love,

ac.

>

>

> > >> have you been very young

> > when you got married?

> >

> > Maybe. I was 23 and she was 19. is that too young?

>

> is there any " too " at all? but in a way yes. i think it is at least

> young. you weren't differentiated enough to have a real choice. in a

> way. but on the other side. you know, this is your path. " i " is the

> first lie. remember.

>

>

> > >>(these are questions for you, the answers as well. not for me.

> ok.)

> >

> > I answered them anyway.

>

> love rose

> >

> > >>that's it for the moment.

> >

> > >>lr

> >

> > Thanks!

> >

> > Love,

> > ac.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>

> > there's something about you (or my thinking about you) that

> > touches me tenderly. strange.

>

> ac. i would say it is these moments in your postings when your heart

> comes through. this touches mine. a heart to heart connection around

> the globe. in a way i'm scratching my head now, can this be " true " how

> do you sense it? sorry if that's (perhaps) too francly now. i am

> speaking literally.

>

> lr

>

Me too...

But, then, I had taken a walk!

Love,

ac.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

YOu might suggest to your wife that she accompany you the next time you go to

buy glasses or clothes. Perhaps she would like to participate.

Also, you may wish to thank her for believing other women will find you

attractive. She is probably looking for reassurance that your interests lie with

her, not with other women.

vivian

Re: Do you find it strange too?

> hm. alexander, hi ac. that's interesting.

>

> here is a kind of interface. my first response, (she shall drive

him,

> if she hids his glasses) was coming from the point that if he

cannot

> buy new ones (again and again, perhaps, if neccessary) due to

money

> reasons, and he is perhaps the one who earns the family income,

and

> wants to keep the rules (not driving without glasses) then she

needs

> to drive him. or work herself for the money. through this way she

> might get aware of her the consequences of what she's doing.

>

> let me rephrase it. my reponse was in other words: i would resist

> driving without the glasses. (rose is fan of rules that can make

> traffic safer - if people follow ; )) ) tell it to her, and ask

her

> what else ideas she can bring up, other than she drives arvind

> around. ( " knowing " that " money " and " time " often can - but not

must -

> be a great support in getting things clearer in the thinking.)

>

> lr

>

>

> > You make it sound like it were your wife's fault if you drove

> without

> > glasses!

> > ;-)

> >

> > And from a " work " -point-of-view:

> > Who is the one driving without prescription glasses?

> >

> > Love,

> >

[Guest guest]

What I notice is that when I resist the unconsciousness in another, I

seem to become less conscious in the process.

I can't know this but it occurs to me that your wife is acting from

her unconsciousness and intentionally (unconsciously) provoking a

fight. Sometimes just remaining present in the presence of such

creates an opening. You might genuinely ask about her concearn that

another woman might find you attractive. You might ask if she

genuinely feels that she needs to prevent you from wearing the glasses

in order to preserve the relationship. But not if you think she would

find that a provocation.

Best of luck with this,

[Guest guest]

Hi ac,

Actually...

what's the issue? " she should give me my glasses! " ? If so, do a work

on it.

If not... get more specific. " she should let me drive " , " she should

trust me " , " she... " .

It's not about the driving, is it? And it's not about the glasses,

either.

What do you say?

Love,

Am 20.09.2006 um 04:08 schrieb Vivian Barning:

> Hi,

> YOu might suggest to your wife that she accompany you the next time

> you go to buy glasses or clothes. Perhaps she would like to

> participate.

> Also, you may wish to thank her for believing other women will find

> you attractive. She is probably looking for reassurance that your

> interests lie with her, not with other women.

>

> vivian

> Re: Do you find it strange too?

>

>

>> hm. alexander, hi ac. that's interesting.

>>

>> here is a kind of interface. my first response, (she shall drive

> him,

>> if she hids his glasses) was coming from the point that if he

> cannot

>> buy new ones (again and again, perhaps, if neccessary) due to

> money

>> reasons, and he is perhaps the one who earns the family income,

> and

>> wants to keep the rules (not driving without glasses) then she

> needs

>> to drive him. or work herself for the money. through this way she

>> might get aware of her the consequences of what she's doing.

>>

>> let me rephrase it. my reponse was in other words: i would resist

>> driving without the glasses. (rose is fan of rules that can make

>> traffic safer - if people follow ; )) ) tell it to her, and ask

> her

>> what else ideas she can bring up, other than she drives arvind

>> around. ( " knowing " that " money " and " time " often can - but not

> must -

>> be a great support in getting things clearer in the thinking.)

>>

>> lr

>>

>>

>>> You make it sound like it were your wife's fault if you drove

>> without

>>> glasses!

>>> ;-)

>>>

>>> And from a " work " -point-of-view:

>>> Who is the one driving without prescription glasses?

>>>

>>> Love,

>>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

hm. i am everything else but not sure if this is not to far away from

the work list. but on the other side it started here, and i find it

somehow strange to now pull it to the personal account. so let's get

it clear here briefly. ok?

> > > there's something about you (or my thinking about you) that

> > > touches me tenderly. strange.

> >

> > ac. i would say it is these moments in your postings when your heart

> > comes through. this touches mine. a heart to heart connection around

> > the globe. in a way i'm scratching my head now, can this be " true "

how

> > do you sense it? sorry if that's (perhaps) too francly now. i am

> > speaking literally.

> >

> > lr

> >

>

>

> Me too...

>

> But, then, I had taken a walk!

*** i am not clear what you express here. does it relate/belong to

" how do you sense it " , or does it relate to " i'm speaking literally " ?

lr

>

>

> Love,

> ac.

>

[Guest guest]

> > there's something about you (or my thinking about you) that

> > touches me tenderly.

>

> Thanks. But, I don't really know.

>

> I think I am a " good " person though

>

i see. ok.

> Some people have said that they find

> me " child like " . I am not really sure,

> why.

>

aha.

how does your wife cope with the difference of her

> > in " comparison " with a CA woman? ( i know they are not all the same)

>

> She has had very limited interactions with

> American women. California has a large Indian

> community and she has mostly intercted in that

> community only.

>

> Though, she might have something against

> " working " " career " woman. She has broken

> sevral relationships simply because

> the woman was a career woman.

>

> Perhaps, she thinks that I might expect

> same from her, might compare her or that

> I might fall for her.

>

> I remember that the day after marriage

> I talked to her brother and she listened.

> After listening she said that she felt

> that she was not going to be able to match

> me at mental level and wondered if that

> was going to be a problem.

>

> Maybe, she is still insecure about it.

*** how about asking her?

>

> She is/ws extremely beautiful though.

> I thought irrespctive of everything else,

> she could pretty much have any man whe wanted.

>

> In physical attributes and beauty area,

> she was certainly as attractive as a

> model or film actress. And, you how crazy

> most man are after women of that kind...

*** nothing new under the sun.

>

> I thought she had absolutely no reason

> to insecure about.

>

> In a way, I was extremely lucky to

> be married to such a beautiful woman.

*** the old story. hm.

and what do you think now?

> It is mainly not wanting to hurt

> feelings, family image, reputation

> and pride.

*** do you want to stay the good guy? i believe there is a way to

emancipate within a social group and be authentic and true to yourself

without attacking or leavin' the others. but my experience is, it's a

process and it goes along with joy and also pain in it. and it takes

quite a while and goes through different phases.

>

> Now, it is becoming somewhat easier

> but, still not completely gone...

of course.

> > > >>it is not my job to know it. that is yours.

> > >

> > > Sure.

> >

> > it's not that i'm not caring. i just don't want to interfere, or

> > pester, or be in your business, leavin' my own. ok?

>

> I understand.

*** good/i like that.

> > love is something that can grow from different angles, different

> > directions. it is not a simple thing. how open is she to serve

your wishes/desires?

>

> No, she is not open.

>

> > how open are you?

>

> I think I am open to a large extent.

i see. thanks for responding.

>

>

> > >

> > > >> that is great. i see that you in a

> > > way " struggle " to deal/cope with your life situation and i truely

> > > admire you for this.

> > >

> > > Thanks.

> >

> > : ) it's true. not a hollow compliment.

>

> Thanks again

welcome.

> > > But, I may not leave such a person once I was already married to

> > one.

> >

> > *** what do you mean with " may " not?

>

> That I am not completely sure.

>

> If it becomes too difficult for children and myself,

> separtion can still happen though, it is not very

> likely.

i understand. thanks.

>

> I had never heard that about ray Ban glasses.

> I thought they had stopped being " cool " long

> time back and weren't considered hype or trendy

> anymore.

ok

> > > >> do you " abuse " her

> > > for any religious/philosophical ideals - on your end?

> > >

> > > I don't think so. My wife doesn't like talking about these and as

> a result we almost never talk about these.

> >

> > *** reread this again. if you like.

>

> Yes, there are was typo in it.

>

> is that what you are trying to point to?

no! reread it again. i typed a few more words. maybe it get's clearer

then.

>

> Or, are we trying to point to us never

> talking about these things?

??? i dont get this.

>

> There is definetely a lack of communication in our marriage.

>

> Many times when I open my mouth, it results in fights.

>

> Most other times, our communication consists of my wife

> talking and me listening. What my wife usually talks is:

>

> - How bad my wife's friends are.

>

> - How great my wife's friend's husbands are.

>

> - How bad my parents are.

>

> - How good my wife's parents are.

>

> - How everyone thinks that I am a

> good guy and my wife is bad and how wrong everyone is.

>

> - How everyone praises me just because I

> have money and they want to get my money.

>

> and,

>

> - Am I having an affair?

>

> - Did I look at that woman?

>

> - How hurt she is by the affair that I

> had two years before I had met my wife.

>

well, from what you write, she appears to me to be an insecure person

which tries to feel safe. she appears to me as a person that was led

away from her own original impulses and fit into a framework that

wasn't really her's. in a way like a person that has lost connection

to itself. but it could be completly different as well.

> > >

> > > >>are you the " good " guy in

> > > this relationship and she's the " ... " one?

> > >

> > > Well... most people

including myself,

her parents, my parents,

> > > my extended family, her extended family says so.

*** this, " including myself " , would be hard to stand for me. if i was her.

> > hm. and how does she like it?

>

> I think I answered that above.

>

>

> > >

> > >

> > > >>did you know what you

> > > know now about her, before you got married?

> > >

> > > No.

> >

> > oh. why did you marry in such a setting?

>

> I thought other choice (love marriage)

> would have been quite painful to my family

> [parents and siblings].

here we go. and who's to pay the bill? love, rose

>

> Love,

> ac.

>

>

>

> >

> >

> > > >> have you been very young

> > > when you got married?

> > >

> > > Maybe. I was 23 and she was 19. is that too young?

> >

> > is there any " too " at all? but in a way yes. i think it is at least

> > young. you weren't differentiated enough to have a real choice. in a

> > way. but on the other side. you know, this is your path. " i " is the

> > first lie. remember.

> >

> >

> > > >>(these are questions for you, the answers as well. not for me.

> > ok.)

> > >

> > > I answered them anyway.

> >

> > love rose

> > >

> > > >>that's it for the moment.

> > >

> > > >>lr

> > >

> > > Thanks!

> > >

> > > Love,

> > > ac.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>>Hi ac,

>>Actually...

>>what's the issue? " she should give me my glasses! " ? If so, do a

work

on it.

>>If not... get more specific. " she should let me drive " , " she should

trust me " , " she... " .

>>It's not about the driving, is it? And it's not about the glasses,

either.

>>What do you say?

>>Love,

>>

Thanks !

Issue was that I wanted my glasses back.

Today, my wife gave me my glasses back!

The other issue [or motivating factor] was that I wanted to express

that I find my wife's behavior quite strange and unreasonable.

However, it doesn't hurt me that much anymore...

I still don't condone her behavior but, I am learning to take it as

the part of the reality.

I also don't condone robbers robbing houses and thieves breaking

into houses but I have learnt that my 'what I do' [like complaining,

writing to police, media, protecting my house] might have an impact

on robbery and theft and but, what I feel inside [resentment, fear,

anger] may not. And, even if me feeling angry, resentful, fearful,

stressed was to decrease the frequency of theft – I might have still

chosen not to feel resentful because it feels very bad to feel

resentment.

[Guest guest]

[...]

> > I remember that the day after marriage

> > I talked to her brother and she listened.

> > After listening she said that she felt

> > that she was not going to be able to match

> > me at mental level and wondered if that

> > was going to be a problem.

> >

> > Maybe, she is still insecure about it.

>

> *** how about asking her?

I have asked her.

She says that she feels insecure.

> >

> > She is/was extremely beautiful though.

> > I thought irrespctive of everything else,

> > she could pretty much have any man whe wanted.

> >

> > In physical attributes and beauty area,

> > she was certainly as attractive as a

> > model or film actress. And, you how crazy

> > most man are after women of that kind...

>

> *** nothing new under the sun.

> >

> > I thought she had absolutely no reason

> > to insecure about.

> >

> > In a way, I was extremely lucky to

> > be married to such a beautiful woman.

>

>

> *** the old story. hm.

> and what do you think now?

Now I think physically she is fat and about 6 pounds overweight.

Mentally she is too used to being lazy, comfortable, not working,

being complaining, resentful, suspecting, bossy and not being careful

with she says.

I think it will be relatively difficult for her to get married and

it will take few very hard shocks before she feels the need to

change – and, by then it might be way too late.

IOW... I think unless she gets married to an extremely compassionate,

caring, kind man who deeply cares for her but, one that is also very

intelligent, very *skilled*, disciplined, focused and has great

degree

of determination, focus and will – it will be hard for her to keep a

good

marriage.

I find myself too plain and too simple from being able to do that.

I don't even consider it my duty to *improve* her.

I think I myself need many *improvements* that I haven't yet made –

I

want to work on them.

>

>

> > It is mainly not wanting to hurt

> > feelings, family image, reputation

> > and pride.

>

> *** do you want to stay the good guy?

It hurts me to hurt those whom I care about.

It hurts me to hurt those whom I find *good*,

well meaning and honest.

> i believe there is a way to

> emancipate within a social group and be authentic and true to

yourself

> without attacking or leaving' the others. but my experience is,

it's a

> process and it goes along with joy and also pain in it. and it

takes

> quite a while and goes through different phases.

I can believe that.

But, I have found that social and family *skills* and

*communications* are not easy and some of those

*skills* in fact fall outside my own *integrity* and my

idea of truth and honesty.

To me some of them look like plain *cheating*

where you say something that you know is not

true. I don't do that unless I a very, very afraid

and I don't see myself changing that!

[...]

>

> > > > >> do you " abuse " her

> > > > for any religious/philosophical ideals - on your end?

> > > >

> > > > I don't think so. My wife doesn't like talking about these

and as

> > a result we almost never talk about these.

> > >

> > > *** reread this again. if you like.

> >

> > Yes, there are was typo in it.

> >

>

>

> > is that what you are trying to point to?

>

> no! reread it again. i typed a few more words. maybe it get's

clearer

> then.

>

>

> >

> > Or, are we trying to point to us never

> > talking about these things?

>

> ??? i dont get this.

I mean my wife and myself almost never talk about

philosophy, spirituality etc. Is that the issue you were

pointing to?

> >

> > There is definitely a lack of communication in our marriage.

> >

> > Many times when I open my mouth, it results in fights.

> >

> > Most other times, our communication consists of my wife

> > talking and me listening. What my wife usually talks is:

> >

> > - How bad my wife's friends are.

> >

> > - How great my wife's friend's husbands are.

> >

> > - How bad my parents are.

> >

> > - How good my wife's parents are.

> >

> > - How everyone thinks that I am a

> > good guy and my wife is bad and how wrong everyone is.

> >

> > - How everyone praises me just because I

> > have money and they want to get my money.

> >

> > and,

> >

> > - Am I having an affair?

> >

> > - Did I look at that woman?

> >

> > - How hurt she is by the affair that I

> > had two years before I had met my wife.

> >

> well, from what you write, she appears to me to be an insecure

person

> which tries to feel safe. she appears to me as a person that was

led

> away from her own original impulses and fit into a framework that

> wasn't really her's.

I think that is at least partly true.

I think she might have been more comfortable had we stayed

in her hometown closer to her mom, rest of her family and her

childhood friends. But, that was not a choice that I had. Her city

had no jobs for me.

> in a way like a person that has lost connection

> to itself. but it could be completly different as well.

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > >>are you the " good " guy in

> > > > this relationship and she's the " ... " one?

> > > >

> > > > Well... most people

>

>

> including myself,

>

>

> her parents, my parents,

> > > > my extended family, her extended family says so.

>

>

> *** this, " including myself " , would be hard to stand for me. if i

was her.

I can understand that.

>

>

> > > hm. and how does she like it?

> >

> > I think I answered that above.

> >

> >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > >>did you know what you

> > > > know now about her, before you got married?

> > > >

> > > > No.

> > >

> > > oh. why did you marry in such a setting?

> >

> > I thought other choice (love marriage)

> > would have been quite painful to my family

> > [parents and siblings].

>

> here we go. and who's to pay the bill? love, rose

Me, my wife, our children and our parents.

Love,

ac.

[Guest guest]

Blah blah blah

B

--- adithya_comming wrote:

> [...]

>

> > > I remember that the day after marriage

> > > I talked to her brother and she listened.

> > > After listening she said that she felt

> > > that she was not going to be able to match

> > > me at mental level and wondered if that

> > > was going to be a problem.

> > >

> > > Maybe, she is still insecure about it.

> >

> > *** how about asking her?

>

> I have asked her.

>

> She says that she feels insecure.

>

>

> > >

> > > She is/was extremely beautiful though.

> > > I thought irrespctive of everything else,

> > > she could pretty much have any man whe wanted.

> > >

> > > In physical attributes and beauty area,

> > > she was certainly as attractive as a

> > > model or film actress. And, you how crazy

> > > most man are after women of that kind...

> >

> > *** nothing new under the sun.

> > >

> > > I thought she had absolutely no reason

> > > to insecure about.

> > >

> > > In a way, I was extremely lucky to

> > > be married to such a beautiful woman.

> >

> >

> > *** the old story. hm.

> > and what do you think now?

>

> Now I think physically she is fat and about 6 pounds

> overweight.

> Mentally she is too used to being lazy, comfortable,

> not working,

> being complaining, resentful, suspecting, bossy and

> not being careful

> with she says.

>

> I think it will be relatively difficult for her to

> get married and

> it will take few very hard shocks before she feels

> the need to

> change – and, by then it might be way too late.

>

> IOW... I think unless she gets married to an

> extremely compassionate,

> caring, kind man who deeply cares for her but, one

> that is also very

> intelligent, very *skilled*, disciplined, focused

> and has great

> degree

> of determination, focus and will – it will be hard

> for her to keep a

> good

> marriage.

>

> I find myself too plain and too simple from being

> able to do that.

>

> I don't even consider it my duty to *improve* her.

>

> I think I myself need many *improvements* that I

> haven't yet made –

> I

> want to work on them.

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> >

> > > It is mainly not wanting to hurt

> > > feelings, family image, reputation

> > > and pride.

> >

> > *** do you want to stay the good guy?

>

> It hurts me to hurt those whom I care about.

> It hurts me to hurt those whom I find *good*,

> well meaning and honest.

>

> > i believe there is a way to

> > emancipate within a social group and be authentic

> and true to

> yourself

> > without attacking or leaving' the others. but my

> experience is,

> it's a

> > process and it goes along with joy and also pain

> in it. and it

> takes

> > quite a while and goes through different phases.

>

> I can believe that.

>

> But, I have found that social and family *skills*

> and

> *communications* are not easy and some of those

> *skills* in fact fall outside my own *integrity* and

> my

> idea of truth and honesty.

>

> To me some of them look like plain *cheating*

> where you say something that you know is not

> true. I don't do that unless I a very, very afraid

> and I don't see myself changing that!

>

>

> [...]

>

> >

> > > > > >> do you " abuse " her

> > > > > for any religious/philosophical ideals - on

> your end?

> > > > >

> > > > > I don't think so. My wife doesn't like

> talking about these

> and as

> > > a result we almost never talk about these.

> > > >

> > > > *** reread this again. if you like.

> > >

> > > Yes, there are was typo in it.

> > >

> >

> >

> > > is that what you are trying to point to?

> >

> > no! reread it again. i typed a few more words.

> maybe it get's

> clearer

> > then.

> >

> >

> > >

> > > Or, are we trying to point to us never

> > > talking about these things?

> >

> > ??? i dont get this.

>

> I mean my wife and myself almost never talk about

> philosophy, spirituality etc. Is that the issue you

> were

> pointing to?

>

>

> > >

> > > There is definitely a lack of communication in

> our marriage.

> > >

> > > Many times when I open my mouth, it results in

> fights.

> > >

> > > Most other times, our communication consists of

> my wife

> > > talking and me listening. What my wife usually

> talks is:

> > >

> > > - How bad my wife's friends are.

> > >

> > > - How great my wife's friend's husbands are.

> > >

> > > - How bad my parents are.

> > >

> > > - How good my wife's parents are.

> > >

> > > - How everyone thinks that I am a

> > > good guy and my wife is bad and how wrong

> everyone is.

> > >

> > > - How everyone praises me just because I

> > > have money and they want to get my money.

> > >

> > > and,

> > >

> > > - Am I having an affair?

> > >

> > > - Did I look at that woman?

> > >

> > > - How hurt she is by the affair that I

> > > had two years before I had met my wife.

> > >

> > well, from what you write, she appears to me to be

> an insecure

> person

> > which tries to feel safe. she appears to me as a

> person that was

> led

> > away from her own original impulses and fit into a

> framework that

>

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> > > Maybe, she is still insecure about it.

> >

> > *** how about asking her?

>

> I have asked her.

>

> She says that she feels insecure.

Now what do you think and feel when you get this genuine answer from

her?

> > *** the old story. hm.

> > and what do you think now?

>

> Now I think physically she is fat and about 6 pounds overweight.

> Mentally she is too used to being lazy, comfortable, not working,

> being complaining, resentful, suspecting, bossy and not being

careful

> with she says.

Inquire this!

>

> I think it will be relatively difficult for her to get married and

> it will take few very hard shocks before she feels the need to

> change – and, by then it might be way too late.

Inquire this.

>

> IOW... I think unless she gets married to an extremely

compassionate,

> caring, kind man who deeply cares for her but, one that is also very

> intelligent, very *skilled*, disciplined, focused and has great

> degree of determination, focus and will – it will be hard for her

to keep a

> good marriage.

Inquire this.

>

> I find myself too plain and too simple from being able to do that.

>

> I don't even consider it my duty to *improve* her.

>

> I think I myself need many *improvements* that I haven't yet made –

> I want to work on them.

Inquire!

> >

> > > It is mainly not wanting to hurt

> > > feelings, family image, reputation

> > > and pride.

> >

> > *** do you want to stay the good guy?

>

> It hurts me to hurt those whom I care about.

> It hurts me to hurt those whom I find *good*,

> well meaning and honest.

That's the surface! Inquire!

> > i K N O W there is a way to emancipate within a social group

and be authentic and true to yourself without attacking or leaving'

the others. but my experience is,

> it's a process and it goes along with joy and also pain in it. and

it

> takes quite a while and goes through different phases.

>

> I can believe that.

>

> But, I have found that social and family *skills* and

> *communications* are not easy and some of those

> *skills* in fact fall outside my own *integrity* and my

> idea of truth and honesty.

>

> To me some of them look like plain *cheating*

> where you say something that you know is not

> true. I don't do that unless I a very, very afraid

> and I don't see myself changing that!

Ac wrote: I can believe that, BUT ….

Inquire.

> [...]

>

> >

do you " abuse " her for any religious/philosophical ideals?

>

> I mean my wife and myself almost never talk about

> philosophy, spirituality etc. Is that the issue you were

> pointing to?

No.

Last round: do you " abuse " her for any of your beloved

religious/philosophical ideals?

> > well, from what you write, she appears to me to be an insecure

> person which tries to feel safe. she appears to me as a person that

was

> led away from her own original impulses and fit into a framework

that

> > wasn't really her's.

>

> I think that is at least partly true.

>

> I think she might have been more comfortable had we stayed

> in her hometown closer to her mom, rest of her family and her

> childhood friends. But, that was not a choice that I had. Her city

> had no jobs for me.

Why did she confirm to marry you? What made her chose it?

> > in a way like a person that has lost connection

> > to itself. but it could be completly different as well.

And! It is her OWN choice if or not, and if yes WHEN she wants to

dis_cover it again. That's part of her freedom.

> > > > > >>are you the " good " guy in

> > > > > this relationship and she's the " ... " one?

> > > > >

> > > > > Well... most people

> >

> >

> > including myself,

> >

> >

> > her parents, my parents,

> > > > > my extended family, her extended family says so.

> >

> >

> > *** this, " including myself " , would be hard to stand for me. if i

> was her.

>

> I can understand that.

Ok. And what do you do with this " understanding " ?

> > > > oh. why did you marry in_to such a setting?

> > >

> > > I thought other choice (love marriage)

> > > would have been quite painful to my family

> > > [parents and siblings].

> >

> > here we go. and who's to pay the bill? love, rose

>

> Me, my wife, our children and our parents.

And how long will you continue a painful tradion?

Lr

ps: to answer your question of/from the subject line/field:

no! i find it logical.

[Guest guest]

Dear ac,

What is so strange about her behaviour? She says she doesn't want you

to wear the glasses, so she takes them away. Sounds very congruent to

me.

You say it's dangerous for you to drive without glasses, and drive

without glasses. That, on the other hand, does *not* sound congruent.

Am 21.09.2006 um 02:47 schrieb adithya_comming:

>> Hi ac,

>>

>> Actually...

>>

>> what's the issue? " she should give me my glasses! " ? If so, do a

>> work

>> on it.

>>

>> If not... get more specific. " she should let me drive " , " she should

>> trust me " , " she... " .

>>

>> It's not about the driving, is it? And it's not about the glasses,

>> either.

>>

>> What do you say?

>>

>> Love,

>>

>

> Thanks !

>

> Issue was that I wanted my glasses back.

So, why do you tell *us*? We can't give you your glasses. Tell your

wife.

> Today, my wife gave me my glasses back!

Good. Because it happened.

> The other issue [or motivating factor] was that I wanted to express

> that I find my wife's behavior quite strange and unreasonable.

> However, it doesn't hurt me that much anymore...

Question is: does it still hurt you? If yes, inquire, if you want to

know the truth. If only to understand your pain. It's an exploration

to understand your emotions.

> I still don't condone her behavior but, I am learning to take it as

> the part of the reality.

How generous and educated of you.

I did not understand what of her behaviour bothers you. What did she do?

> I also don't condone robbers robbing houses and thieves breaking

> into houses but I have learnt that my 'what I do' [like complaining,

> writing to police, media, protecting my house] might have an impact

> on robbery and theft

You see... no one needs you condonement. Robbers rob houses, whether

you condone them, or not.

You take care of one robber, and of one house, and there's plenty

more around.

Question is: who are *you*, when you resent someone for stealing? How

do you feel, etc. And I am not asking out of an interest. Take it as

an opportunity to explore...

> and but, what I feel inside [resentment, fear,

> anger] may not. And, even if me feeling angry, resentful, fearful,

> stressed was to decrease the frequency of theft – I might have still

> chosen not to feel resentful because it feels very bad to feel

> resentment.

And especially you felt the feelings that theft gave you over and

over, while the robbery was going on only in your mind.

Oh, well.

Love,

___________________________________________________________

Telefonate ohne weitere Kosten vom PC zum PC: http://messenger.yahoo.de

[Guest guest]

does not have a loving, caring and tender heart,

etc. except when he does.

does not have patience, wisdom etc., except when

he does.

How do I know that I don't?....because I judge others,

point outward.

B

--- gitoros wrote:

> now once again frank, it's me. the " pestering " rose.

>

> now show me what you have learned when you were with

> katie.

> where is your loving, caring and t e n d e r

> heart?

> where is your acceptance, where your patience and

> where your wisdom

> that each one of us has it's own unique path with

> it's own timing.

> and where is the understanding that it takes trust

> und courage to

> expose yourself here " publically " ?

>

> frank franks, ac acs, rose roses. in this meaning, i

> ask you for an

> open mind. open mind is open heart. bk.

>

> love, rose

>

>

>

>

> > Blah blah blah

> >

> > B

> >

> > --- adithya_comming wrote:

> >

> > > [...]

> > >

> > > > > I remember that the day after marriage

> > > > > I talked to her brother and she listened.

> > > > > After listening she said that she felt

> > > > > that she was not going to be able to match

> > > > > me at mental level and wondered if that

> > > > > was going to be a problem.

>

> [...]

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

it takes trust

> und courage to

> expose yourself here " publically "

Is that true Rose? I don't think this is very public at all. Perhaps it is true

for you and feels like you are exposing yourself. For me, not so much.

Sitting with and doing the Work before several hundred people, now that to

me takes courage.

Vivian

Re: Re: Do you find it strange too?

does not have a loving, caring and tender heart,

etc. except when he does.

does not have patience, wisdom etc., except when

he does.

How do I know that I don't?....because I judge others,

point outward.

B

--- gitoros wrote:

> now once again frank, it's me. the " pestering " rose.

>

> now show me what you have learned when you were with

> katie.

> where is your loving, caring and t e n d e r

> heart?

> where is your acceptance, where your patience and

> where your wisdom

> that each one of us has it's own unique path with

> it's own timing.

> and where is the understanding that it takes trust

> und courage to

> expose yourself here " publically " ?

>

> frank franks, ac acs, rose roses. in this meaning, i

> ask you for an

> open mind. open mind is open heart. bk.

>

> love, rose

>

>

>

>

> > Blah blah blah

> >

> > B

> >

> > --- adithya_comming wrote:

> >

> > > [...]

> > >

> > > > > I remember that the day after marriage

> > > > > I talked to her brother and she listened.

> > > > > After listening she said that she felt

> > > > > that she was not going to be able to match

> > > > > me at mental level and wondered if that

> > > > > was going to be a problem.

>

> [...]

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

hello and thanks dear frank, for your response. and thanks for being

honest. this really touches my heart. love, rose

> does not have a loving, caring and tender heart,

> etc. except when he does.

>

> does not have patience, wisdom etc., except when

> he does.

>

> How do I know that I don't?....because I judge others,

> point outward.

>

> B

>

> --- gitoros wrote:

>

> > now once again frank, it's me. the " pestering " rose.

> >

> > now show me what you have learned when you were with

> > katie.

> > where is your loving, caring and t e n d e r

> > heart?

> > where is your acceptance, where your patience and

> > where your wisdom

> > that each one of us has it's own unique path with

> > it's own timing.

> > and where is the understanding that it takes trust

> > und courage to

> > expose yourself here " publically " ?

> >

> > frank franks, ac acs, rose roses. in this meaning, i

> > ask you for an

> > open mind. open mind is open heart. bk.

> >

> > love, rose

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > > Blah blah blah

> > >

> > > B

> > >

> > > --- adithya_comming <adithya_comming@> wrote:

> > >

> > > > [...]

> > > >

> > > > > > I remember that the day after marriage

> > > > > > I talked to her brother and she listened.

> > > > > > After listening she said that she felt

> > > > > > that she was not going to be able to match

> > > > > > me at mental level and wondered if that

> > > > > > was going to be a problem.

> >

> > [...]

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>