Guest guest Posted May 2, 2006 Report Share Posted May 2, 2006 boy denise you said it , I always feel behind ,I wished I would have thought about my immune system before my biospy if you can boost yours up as much as possible it might help to recovery easier sending you strengh dorisjanne5303 wrote: , Not only are you having to deal with all this....you get to be sick while you do it...it is so hard to think straight when you are so tired. I make a list and if I get one thing done a day, I feel that I have accomplished that much. I have put off so many important decisions. Stuck my head in the sand and refused to really think about it. But, I have read and worked to keep informed. I have been very blessed by having these years when my fibrosis was stable or slow growing. But, the progression has happened and now all these things have to be dealt with. Wish I had done more planning when I still had an ounce of energy! Take a few days off.....stop, relax and recoup. Also, you can know that we are with you in spirit. We are all pulling for you. My prayers are with you, Joyce >> I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. I> feel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having a> hard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrow> to discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation with> UCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability in> order, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of a> sudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I want> to stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does it> stay crazy like this? > Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. PC-to-Phone calls for ridiculously low rates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2006 Report Share Posted May 2, 2006 your right about the attention pf is not getting I did right oprah suggesting a topic on this desease will see if I hear anything from her group? lately freinds have been dropping by that havew heard about me , and I tell them I feel like Iam in training for a race.. a race for my life or breath dorisDAVID ADAMS wrote: I felt the same way for months after I was diagnosed. But just told my self (with the help of statements of my primary Dr. (not lung). That I was not going to let this control my life at least what is left of it and while I'm not confined to bed. I am doing what I want to do, be it a lot slower, but it is getting done. I also have volunteered to work on committees who are trying to get our little island released from Portland Me and become it's own town. Boy what a lot of mind and paper work that I can get buried in. What I still need to vent on is the lack of media interest in our little problem that is killing almost as many as breast cancer. Yet look at the attention they get. I guess I feel that I wish I had cancer and not this. Dave Overwhelmed I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. Ifeel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having ahard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrowto discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation withUCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability inorder, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of asudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I wantto stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does itstay crazy like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2006 Report Share Posted May 2, 2006 Hi , I think getting things in order is a very smart thing to do. You can only take one thing at a time, One day at a time. Yes as soon as you stop for a few min. and just rest. Everything will happen. Don't look at what you don't have or are going to loose. If you'll read the paper their are people dying daily from things they didn't plan. WE just may be here a lot longer than we think.. When God gets ready for each one of his children He'll call them ( us ) home. But until that day I am thankful for life and do not intend to waste any of it worrying. You can vent ANYTIME we're here for you and with you in these rough times. God Bless and give you strength to endure. Peggy on 5/2/06 1:04 AM, dnsrndl at dnsrndl@... wrote: I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. I feel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having a hard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrow to discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation with UCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability in order, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of a sudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I want to stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does it stay crazy like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2006 Report Share Posted May 2, 2006 I am proud of you. You have the answer to peace and strength right in your hand. Read every day and you'll begin to feel peace come over you.. God Bless and Keep you Peggy I think I'm gonna have my hubby make some cookies for me.. FUNNNNNY. I want some. on 5/2/06 10:18 PM, denise randel at dnsrndl@... wrote: Thanks Peggy! I am having a better day. I realized that I keep focusing on dying instead of focusing on living and looking at what I do have instead of what I have lost. I also realized that fear is overtaking me each time I get tests results back. MY new PF tests came back at 50% functioning and I am having a biopsy on Monday. I met with the surgeon today and he is going to do the thorascopic surgery (2 dorito chip sized triangles) instead of the open lung biopsy. I decided the biopsy is the ONLY thing I am doing for the week and phone calls and all the other stuff can wait. I also decided that for every negative thing I was going to do a positive-Sooooo. . .this morning I prayed, read positive Bible verses (Ps. 118:17 " I shall not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord. " ), had a deluxe pedicure complete with a flower on my big toe AND sent my son to the bakery for peanut butter cookies. I quess thats 4 positives for my one negative but I am smiling now instead of crying! Take Care- Peggy wrote: Re: Overwhelmed Hi , I think getting things in order is a very smart thing to do. You can only take one thing at a time, One day at a time. Yes as soon as you stop for a few min. and just rest. Everything will happen. Don't look at what you don't have or are going to loose. If you'll read the paper their are people dying daily from things they didn't plan. WE just may be here a lot longer than we think.. When God gets ready for each one of his children He'll call them ( us ) home. But until that day I am thankful for life and do not intend to waste any of it worrying. You can vent ANYTIME we're here for you and with you in these rough times. God Bless and give you strength to endure. Peggy on 5/2/06 1:04 AM, dnsrndl at dnsrndl@... wrote: I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. I feel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having a hard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrow to discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation with UCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability in order, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of a sudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I want to stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does it stay crazy like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Way to go Barb. I am on the patch, still hard. I sometimes feel the need for a glass of wine at bedtime, mind works too much to sleep. On my way out the door to see Dr. maybe he will come up with something today.If not I think time for me a new one. Barbara Soice wrote: Hey, Everyone: It is me. Barb from Kentucky. Well, Deborah and I went and picked out our grave site today. Just kinda took a deep breath and concentrated on where I wanted to be buried. Found a really pretty spot near a cow pasture. The grave yard is kind of a rolling grave yard. It isn't flat like so many are. Tomorrow we meet with the fellow who is designing our headstone. Then once I get that over with, I guess I will write my obituary and hopefully I am still going to have time to write my euology (sp?) and then I need to pick one more song for my funeral then everything will be set. I won't be a bother to no one. I will have taken care of everything. But in the meantime, I am going to concentrate on living longer. I have been smoking and today I bought me commit lozenges, tomorrow I start to get rid of devil nicotine. Hope you all don't mind, but I have drank a few beers today. Guess I kinda needed it. I love the Lord with all my heart, but I think I need to get back into church. I believe that will be my final step in this journey called life. You all have a wonderful day. Barb in KYPeggy wrote: I am proud of you. You have the answer to peace and strength right in your hand. Read every day and you'll begin to feel peace come over you.. God Bless and Keep you PeggyI think I'm gonna have my hubby make some cookies for me.. FUNNNNNY. I want some.on 5/2/06 10:18 PM, denise randel at dnsrndl@... wrote: Thanks Peggy! I am having a better day. I realized that I keep focusing on dying instead of focusing on living and looking at what I do have instead of what I have lost. I also realized that fear is overtaking me each time I get tests results back. MY new PF tests came back at 50% functioning and I am having a biopsy on Monday. I met with the surgeon today and he is going to do the thorascopic surgery (2 dorito chip sized triangles) instead of the open lung biopsy. I decided the biopsy is the ONLY thing I am doing for the week and phone calls and all the other stuff can wait. I also decided that for every negative thing I was going to do a positive-Sooooo. . .this morning I prayed, read positive Bible verses (Ps. 118:17 "I shall not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord."), had a deluxe pedicure complete with a flower on my big toe AND sent my son to the bakery for peanut butter cookies. I quess thats 4 positives for my one negative but I am smiling now instead of crying! Take Care-Peggy wrote: Re: Overwhelmed Hi , I think getting things in order is a very smart thing to do. You can only take one thing at a time, One day at a time. Yes as soon as you stop for a few min. and just rest. Everything will happen. Don't look at what you don't have or are going to loose. If you'll read the paper their are people dying daily from things they didn't plan. WE just may be here a lot longer than we think.. When God gets ready for each one of his children He'll call them ( us ) home. But until that day I am thankful for life and do not intend to waste any of it worrying. You can vent ANYTIME we're here for you and with you in these rough times. God Bless and give you strength to endure. Peggy on 5/2/06 1:04 AM, dnsrndl at dnsrndl@... wrote: I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. I feel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having a hard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrow to discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation with UCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability in order, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of a sudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I want to stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does it stay crazy like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Barb, Thanks for your honesty. Many prayers are coming your way. LeanneBarbara Soice wrote: Hey, Everyone: It is me. Barb from Kentucky. Well, Deborah and I went and picked out our grave site today. Just kinda took a deep breath and concentrated on where I wanted to be buried. Found a really pretty spot near a cow pasture. The grave yard is kind of a rolling grave yard. It isn't flat like so many are. Tomorrow we meet with the fellow who is designing our headstone. Then once I get that over with, I guess I will write my obituary and hopefully I am still going to have time to write my euology (sp?) and then I need to pick one more song for my funeral then everything will be set. I won't be a bother to no one. I will have taken care of everything. But in the meantime, I am going to concentrate on living longer. I have been smoking and today I bought me commit lozenges, tomorrow I start to get rid of devil nicotine. Hope you all don't mind, but I have drank a few beers today. Guess I kinda needed it. I love the Lord with all my heart, but I think I need to get back into church. I believe that will be my final step in this journey called life. You all have a wonderful day. Barb in KYPeggy wrote: I am proud of you. You have the answer to peace and strength right in your hand. Read every day and you'll begin to feel peace come over you.. God Bless and Keep you PeggyI think I'm gonna have my hubby make some cookies for me.. FUNNNNNY. I want some.on 5/2/06 10:18 PM, denise randel at dnsrndl@... wrote: Thanks Peggy! I am having a better day. I realized that I keep focusing on dying instead of focusing on living and looking at what I do have instead of what I have lost. I also realized that fear is overtaking me each time I get tests results back. MY new PF tests came back at 50% functioning and I am having a biopsy on Monday. I met with the surgeon today and he is going to do the thorascopic surgery (2 dorito chip sized triangles) instead of the open lung biopsy. I decided the biopsy is the ONLY thing I am doing for the week and phone calls and all the other stuff can wait. I also decided that for every negative thing I was going to do a positive-Sooooo. . .this morning I prayed, read positive Bible verses (Ps. 118:17 "I shall not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord."), had a deluxe pedicure complete with a flower on my big toe AND sent my son to the bakery for peanut butter cookies. I quess thats 4 positives for my one negative but I am smiling now instead of crying! Take Care-Peggy wrote: Re: Overwhelmed Hi , I think getting things in order is a very smart thing to do. You can only take one thing at a time, One day at a time. Yes as soon as you stop for a few min. and just rest. Everything will happen. Don't look at what you don't have or are going to loose. If you'll read the paper their are people dying daily from things they didn't plan. WE just may be here a lot longer than we think.. When God gets ready for each one of his children He'll call them ( us ) home. But until that day I am thankful for life and do not intend to waste any of it worrying. You can vent ANYTIME we're here for you and with you in these rough times. God Bless and give you strength to endure. Peggy on 5/2/06 1:04 AM, dnsrndl at dnsrndl@... wrote: I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. I feel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having a hard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrow to discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation with UCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability in order, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of a sudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I want to stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does it stay crazy like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Barb, I do think your on the right track. I KNOW you are. Anyhow I'm glad your about done with your funeral plans and all that goes with it. I am a little concerned about the beers with your meds.. have you checked it out? When I quit smoking it was a state of mind. (ROUGH STATE ) I used the patch (one on each arm) and the gum constantly, my jaw was hurting so bad but I was determined to do it. I know what the box says but it took me two months to be FREE It was the hardest but the best thing I've EVER done. YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!!! Barb, The Lord loves you too. Just speak his name. He hears our prayers. God Bless and help you to look to your future.. We do have one ya know! Peggy on 5/3/06 2:28 AM, Barbara Soice at babs594@... wrote: Hey, Everyone: It is me. Barb from Kentucky. Well, Deborah and I went and picked out our grave site today. Just kinda took a deep breath and concentrated on where I wanted to be buried. Found a really pretty spot near a cow pasture. The grave yard is kind of a rolling grave yard. It isn't flat like so many are. Tomorrow we meet with the fellow who is designing our headstone. Then once I get that over with, I guess I will write my obituary and hopefully I am still going to have time to write my euology (sp?) and then I need to pick one more song for my funeral then everything will be set. I won't be a bother to no one. I will have taken care of everything. But in the meantime, I am going to concentrate on living longer. I have been smoking and today I bought me commit lozenges, tomorrow I start to get rid of devil nicotine. Hope you all don't mind, but I have drank a few beers today. Guess I kinda needed it. I love the Lord with all my heart, but I think I need to get back into church. I believe that will be my final step in this journey called life. You all have a wonderful day. Barb in KY Peggy wrote: I am proud of you. You have the answer to peace and strength right in your hand. Read every day and you'll begin to feel peace come over you.. God Bless and Keep you Peggy I think I'm gonna have my hubby make some cookies for me.. FUNNNNNY. I want some. on 5/2/06 10:18 PM, denise randel at dnsrndl@... wrote: Thanks Peggy! I am having a better day. I realized that I keep focusing on dying instead of focusing on living and looking at what I do have instead of what I have lost. I also realized that fear is overtaking me each time I get tests results back. MY new PF tests came back at 50% functioning and I am having a biopsy on Monday. I met with the surgeon today and he is going to do the thorascopic surgery (2 dorito chip sized triangles) instead of the open lung biopsy. I decided the biopsy is the ONLY thing I am doing for the week and phone calls and all the other stuff can wait. I also decided that for every negative thing I was going to do a positive-Sooooo. . .this morning I prayed, read positive Bible verses (Ps. 118:17 " I shall not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord. " ), had a deluxe pedicure complete with a flower on my big toe AND sent my son to the bakery for peanut butter cookies. I quess thats 4 positives for my one negative but I am smiling now instead of crying! Take Care- Peggy wrote: Re: Overwhelmed Hi , I think getting things in order is a very smart thing to do. You can only take one thing at a time, One day at a time. Yes as soon as you stop for a few min. and just rest. Everything will happen. Don't look at what you don't have or are going to loose. If you'll read the paper their are people dying daily from things they didn't plan. WE just may be here a lot longer than we think.. When God gets ready for each one of his children He'll call them ( us ) home. But until that day I am thankful for life and do not intend to waste any of it worrying. You can vent ANYTIME we're here for you and with you in these rough times. God Bless and give you strength to endure. Peggy on 5/2/06 1:04 AM, dnsrndl at dnsrndl@... wrote: I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. I feel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having a hard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrow to discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation with UCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability in order, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of a sudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I want to stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does it stay crazy like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2006 Report Share Posted May 22, 2006 Just now catching up on lots of emails from this group---Just wanted to respond to " I wish I had cancer & not this " Be careful what you wish for. Any terminal disease is just that---terminal. After losing my 44 year old husband to colon cancer on 2/12/05, I would not wish that on anyone. By the way----this is one of my missions----make sure if you are 50 or over that you have had a screening colonoscopy. AND if you have any symptoms---black, tarry stools; abdominal pain; tiredness; pencil thin stools; unexplained diarrhea or constipation; any change in bowel habits---then GET A COLONOSCOPY!!! Several of my friends are referring to me as a 'pain in the ass' because I keep hounding them about getting their scopes scheduled. I just tell them that I would rather be a pain in the ass than to have to take care of them if they get colon cancer. The kicker here is that my hubby HAD NO SYMPTOMS and upon diagnosis was stage IV with mets to liver and lungs and lasted only 20 months after diagnosis. So---if this scares you a bit ------ then get your scope scheduled! A polyp left in your body will turn to cancer within 10 years---and the only way to find polyps is to have a colonoscopy. I'll quit preaching for now--just had to say my piece. Sheila Strong Reply-To: Breathe-Support To: <Breathe-Support > Subject: Re: Overwhelmed Date: Tue, 2 May 2006 07:32:06 -0400 I felt the same way for months after I was diagnosed. But just told my self (with the help of statements of my primary Dr. (not lung). That I was not going to let this control my life at least what is left of it and while I'm not confined to bed. I am doing what I want to do, be it a lot slower, but it is getting done. I also have volunteered to work on committees who are trying to get our little island released from Portland Me and become it's own town. Boy what a lot of mind and paper work that I can get buried in. What I still need to vent on is the lack of media interest in our little problem that is killing almost as many as breast cancer. Yet look at the attention they get. I guess I feel that I wish I had cancer and not this. Dave Overwhelmed I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. I feel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having a hard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrow to discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation with UCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability in order, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of a sudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I want to stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does it stay crazy like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2006 Report Share Posted May 22, 2006 Shelia, My father passed from cancer, I would not wish that kind of death on my worst enemy.With this I hope to go quietly with peace for everyone involved. ipf 7/05Sheila Strong wrote: Just now catching up on lots of emails from this group---Just wanted to respond to "I wish I had cancer & not this" Be careful what you wish for.Any terminal disease is just that---terminal.After losing my 44 year old husband to colon cancer on 2/12/05, I would not wish that on anyone. By the way----this is one of my missions----make sure if you are 50 or over that you have had a screening colonoscopy. AND if you have any symptoms---black, tarry stools; abdominal pain; tiredness; pencil thin stools; unexplained diarrhea or constipation; any change in bowel habits---then GET A COLONOSCOPY!!! Several of my friends are referring to me as a 'pain in the ass' because I keep hounding them about getting their scopes scheduled. I just tell them that I would rather be a pain in the ass than to have to take care of them if they get colon cancer. The kicker here is that my hubby HAD NO SYMPTOMS and upon diagnosis was stage IV with mets to liver and lungs and lasted only 20 months after diagnosis. So---if this scares you a bit ------ then get your scope scheduled! A polyp left in your body will turn to cancer within 10 years---and the only way to find polyps is to have a colonoscopy.I'll quit preaching for now--just had to say my piece.Sheila StrongReply-To: Breathe-Support To: <Breathe-Support >Subject: Re: OverwhelmedDate: Tue, 2 May 2006 07:32:06 -0400I felt the same way for months after I was diagnosed. But just told my self (with the help of statements of my primary Dr. (not lung). That I was not going to let this control my life at least what is left of it and while I'm not confined to bed. I am doing what I want to do, be it a lot slower, but it is getting done. I also have volunteered to work on committees who are trying to get our little island released from Portland Me and become it's own town. Boy what a lot of mind and paper work that I can get buried in.What I still need to vent on is the lack of media interest in our little problem that is killing almost as many as breast cancer. Yet look at the attention they get. I guess I feel that I wish I had cancer and not this.Dave Overwhelmed I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. I feel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having a hard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrow to discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation with UCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability in order, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of a sudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I want to stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does it stay crazy like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2006 Report Share Posted May 22, 2006 Sheila...right on! I had a colonoscopy and polyps were found that could have turned cancerous had I not had them removed. Once polyps are found one is called a "polyp grower" ugg...and now I have a scope every five years. Keep preachin' girlfriend. Sher ipf 5-06 Overwhelmed I know there is no cure for this feeling butI just need to vent. I feel that there are so many things to do right now and I am having a hard time deciding what should come first. I see the surgeon tomorrow to discuss Open Lung biopsy, I want to schedule a consultation with UCLA, my doctor recommended I get my life insurance and disability in order, AND I need to educate myself as much as possible. All of a sudden every decision I make seems to carry so much weight and I want to stop for awhile. UGHHHH!!! Does it ever calm down or does it stay crazy like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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