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Maybe you should stay at your work

And find yourself a nice lover there to give you LAA?

I know someone that it seem to work good for him

(see my previous post)

Ask your husband, what he thinks about my idea

T

> dear Andy, I find this pretty fascinating.. Of no choice

> I think I want to quit my job and then again I don't

> My husband said to give it two weeks.

> How will I know what to do?

> Im really confused I guess I will wait and see.

> I wanted to work on days .. Today I found out they just hired a new

> person for days.. I guess I should quit.

> not only because of that but I don't know if I really am that good

at

> helping people - due to the fact I don't listen and duplicate

> I think I am a potential trouble source which is described in

> scientology.

> I'm glad to feel no responsibility but is that really true?

> TO be totally honest I wish I could die.

> no wonder so many people think I need drugs.

> I wouldn't commit suicide , it just seems like the only solution

to my

> depression. Which I've had since grade school or maybe before.

> I do the work and get no where - I will try to do it on someone

else.

> I still feel the problem is with me.

> any advice is welcome but I feel pretty hopeless as usual

> If I have no choice whats the use

> whining Debbie downer, r

>

>

>

>

> -- In Loving-what-is , " Andy " <endofthedream@>

wrote:

> >

> >

> >

> > Dear ~ Some ruminations arising from this

> > fascinating....dialogue.

> >

> > You wrote,

> >

> > " Well, these posts don't sound peaceful to me. And, yes, that's

just

> > me. Because in the moment I don't see you as peaceful, I am not

in

> > peace. "

> >

> >

> >

> > Yes, this seems like insightful teaching. The thing of it is,

> > is...all this yearning for peace.....Hmmmmmmmm.....

> >

> > Well.....what *I* see is that what we see, or don't see, " in the

> > moment, " is not " up to us. " We have NO CONTROL over what we see

or

> > don't see (peace or disharmony, for example).

> >

> > In a moment of disharmony, a thought may arise to question

everything,

> > we may be provoked to do The Work, and even if The Work is

engaged, it

> > may, or may not, dissolve the confusion. Ultimately, however, it

> > seems to me, that what happens is simply not....up....to....us.

> >

> > The sense here is that we are constructed constructs,

constructed out

> > of the illusion that we have some say in how things are.

Rather, what

> > we are IS how things are.

> >

> > So....sometimes there is peace....sometimes there is not peace.

And

> > this is so for all the other states-of-being (joy, grief, humor,

> > sadness, lust, boredom). Can it be Seen Clearly that we are not

the

> > Author of any of them, merely the recepients?

> >

> > So, we 'do' The Work in a stressful moment, and,

> > SOMETIMES........sometimes.....The Work...works! In such

instances

> > some may be led to conclude, " Ah....I did that! By doing The

Work,

> > 'I' undid the stress. " This only adds to the illusion that we

have

> > some " power " to effect change.

> >

> > Just where this has been going for me, lately.

> >

>

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dear t.. thanks for the suggestion.. I'm not really good with kids..

i wish i was.. my best friend patty is excellent with kids.. and she

used to have a day care in her home.

I have decided to quit my job. I dont know what i will do after that.

I guess i will just wait and see.

I've had the flu and i feel sick but i have to work tomorrow and i

will give my notice than.

actually working with alzheimer people is like working with kids.. so

in that maybe your half right.

i really would like not to work at all.

love,r

-- In Loving-what-is , " Tami " wrote:

>

> Dear R

>

> I am sorry, I replied to you without readingall your mail

> Now after I read it, I want to tell you that

> I know the feeling: I want to die.

> SO I understand you.

> I wish you all the best and I want to share with you a messege I got

> only for you from the angels

>

> Here it goes:

>

> " You have a gift for working with young people, and your Divine

> purpose involves helping, teaching, or parenting children. "

>

> Additional Message: " Children respond to your openhearted nature.

> You are also charmed by their straight-forward honesty, laughter,

> and innocence. In many ways, they engage and heal your own inner

> child. You seek to give these children that which you desired when

> you were young. You also feel an inner calling to improve the lives

> of children, and you may wonder about the best way to proceed. "

>

> " I am with you as a guardian angel who delights in bringing you new

> opportunities to help children. All you need to do is notice the

> young people whom I bring into your orbit. Be your delightful self

> with these children, and the rest will take care of itself. As soon

> as you're ready for an increased role, please say the word to me,

> and I will increase the number of lives you touch. Please be assured

> that I understand your temperament and will only bring you to

> situations that match your passions, talents, and interests. You are

> a blessing to children everywhere! "

>

>

> Love, T

>

>

> > dear andy, I find this pretty fascinating.. of no choice

> > I think i want to quit my job and then again i dont

> > My husband said to give it two weeks.

> > How will i know what to do?

> > Im really confused i guess i will wait and see.

> > i wanted to work on days .. today i found out they just hired a new

> > person for days.. I guess i should quit.

> > not only because of that but i dont know if i really am that good

> at

> > helping people - due to the fact i dont listen and duplicate

> > I think i am a potential trouble source which is described in

> > scientology.

> > I'm glad to feel no responsibility but is that really true?

> > TO be totally honest i wish i could die.

> > no wonder so many people think i need drugs.

> > i wouldnt commit suicide , it just seems like the only solution to

> my

> > depression. Which i've had since grade school or maybe before.

> > I do the work and get no where - I will try to do it on someone

> else.

> > I still feel the problem is with me.

> > any advice is welcome but i feel pretty hopeless as usual

> > If i have no choice whats the use

> > whining debbie downer, r

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > -- In Loving-what-is , " Andy " <endofthedream@>

> wrote:

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Dear ~ Some ruminations arising from this

> > > fascinating....dialogue.

> > >

> > > You wrote,

> > >

> > > " Well, these posts don't sound peaceful to me. And, yes, that's

> just

> > > me. Because in the moment I don't see you as peaceful, I am not

> in

> > > peace. "

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Yes, this seems like insightful teaching. The thing of it is,

> > > is...all this yearning for peace.....Hmmmmmmmm.....

> > >

> > > Well.....what *I* see is that what we see, or don't see, " in the

> > > moment, " is not " up to us. " We have NO CONTROL over what we see

> or

> > > don't see (peace or disharmony, for example).

> > >

> > > In a moment of disharmony, a thought may arise to question

> everything,

> > > we may be provoked to do The Work, and even if The Work is

> engaged, it

> > > may, or may not, dissolve the confusion. Ultimately, however, it

> > > seems to me, that what happens is simply not....up....to....us.

> > >

> > > The sense here is that we are constructed constructs,

> constructed out

> > > of the illusion that we have some say in how things are.

> Rather, what

> > > we are IS how things are.

> > >

> > > So....sometimes there is peace....sometimes there is not peace.

> And

> > > this is so for all the other states-of-being (joy, grief, humor,

> > > sadness, lust, boredom). Can it be Seen Clearly that we are not

> the

> > > Author of any of them, merely the recepients?

> > >

> > > So, we 'do' The Work in a stressful moment, and,

> > > SOMETIMES........sometimes.....The Work...works! In such

> instances

> > > some may be led to conclude, " Ah....I did that! By doing The

> Work,

> > > 'I' undid the stress. " This only adds to the illusion that we

> have

> > > some " power " to effect change.

> > >

> > > Just where this has been going for me, lately.

> > >

> >

>

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i work with all women.

actually at night there is only two of us

and besides I dont want a lover

And i dont want to ask my husband.

He would suggest a divorce and i dont want that.

Though it could happen.

r

-

-- In Loving-what-is , " Tami " wrote:

>

> Maybe you should stay at your work

> And find yourself a nice lover there to give you LAA?

>

> I know someone that it seem to work good for him

> (see my previous post)

>

> Ask your husband, what he thinks about my idea

>

> T

>

>

> > dear Andy, I find this pretty fascinating.. Of no choice

> > I think I want to quit my job and then again I don't

> > My husband said to give it two weeks.

> > How will I know what to do?

> > Im really confused I guess I will wait and see.

> > I wanted to work on days .. Today I found out they just hired a new

> > person for days.. I guess I should quit.

> > not only because of that but I don't know if I really am that good

> at

> > helping people - due to the fact I don't listen and duplicate

> > I think I am a potential trouble source which is described in

> > scientology.

> > I'm glad to feel no responsibility but is that really true?

> > TO be totally honest I wish I could die.

> > no wonder so many people think I need drugs.

> > I wouldn't commit suicide , it just seems like the only solution

> to my

> > depression. Which I've had since grade school or maybe before.

> > I do the work and get no where - I will try to do it on someone

> else.

> > I still feel the problem is with me.

> > any advice is welcome but I feel pretty hopeless as usual

> > If I have no choice whats the use

> > whining Debbie downer, r

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > -- In Loving-what-is , " Andy " <endofthedream@>

> wrote:

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Dear ~ Some ruminations arising from this

> > > fascinating....dialogue.

> > >

> > > You wrote,

> > >

> > > " Well, these posts don't sound peaceful to me. And, yes, that's

> just

> > > me. Because in the moment I don't see you as peaceful, I am not

> in

> > > peace. "

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Yes, this seems like insightful teaching. The thing of it is,

> > > is...all this yearning for peace.....Hmmmmmmmm.....

> > >

> > > Well.....what *I* see is that what we see, or don't see, " in the

> > > moment, " is not " up to us. " We have NO CONTROL over what we see

> or

> > > don't see (peace or disharmony, for example).

> > >

> > > In a moment of disharmony, a thought may arise to question

> everything,

> > > we may be provoked to do The Work, and even if The Work is

> engaged, it

> > > may, or may not, dissolve the confusion. Ultimately, however, it

> > > seems to me, that what happens is simply not....up....to....us.

> > >

> > > The sense here is that we are constructed constructs,

> constructed out

> > > of the illusion that we have some say in how things are.

> Rather, what

> > > we are IS how things are.

> > >

> > > So....sometimes there is peace....sometimes there is not peace.

> And

> > > this is so for all the other states-of-being (joy, grief, humor,

> > > sadness, lust, boredom). Can it be Seen Clearly that we are not

> the

> > > Author of any of them, merely the recepients?

> > >

> > > So, we 'do' The Work in a stressful moment, and,

> > > SOMETIMES........sometimes.....The Work...works! In such

> instances

> > > some may be led to conclude, " Ah....I did that! By doing The

> Work,

> > > 'I' undid the stress. " This only adds to the illusion that we

> have

> > > some " power " to effect change.

> > >

> > > Just where this has been going for me, lately.

> > >

> >

>

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dear alexander,

i agree having no choice is better ..what is, is always better

I've noticed that to be true from losing past friendships.

--- Another thought that came to me, is: when I want someone to be

different in any way,

> what I do is to kill this person in my mind, and replace him with

someone else who is

> more like I think he should be. No wonder it is painful.

Which is why i want to die because i wish i was better.

The only way i would want the world to change right now.. is that i

would like not to have to work.

im good at helping people only sometimes. sometimes not And I have

decided to quit my job.

potential trouble source is a scientology term.. for someone connected

with a suppressive type person in the past. someone who keeps other

people down. I dont think i have been around any suppressives this

life but i think i was in my last life. i could be wrong on that.

Is it true we dont have any responsibility?

I suppose we only have responsiblity for ourselves. not for others

I can only hurt me. no one else and i get that.

Depression is the feeling of hopelessness for me. And arguing with

reality of course

I dont take drugs because i dont think i need drugs. i think i need to

fix my thinking but it feels impossible.

First time i felt depression was probably when my mom would wash my

hair and when i had to take swimming lessons. due to a fear of water.

Which i finally was able to overcome after many years.

My first male swimming instructor said i probably drown in another

life and i didnt know what he was talking about at the time.. but i

do think he was probably right.

Also being the last picked for baseball which was due to the fact i

never wanted to play and never wanted to be picked anyway.

suicide isnt a solution to depression but it feels like the only way

to stop my mind.

AS i dont do the work very well.

My thinking is depressing.. true.. actually i have a very easy life.

Where do i want to get.

To a place of loving what is..

Id like to not work and still have money.

im giving my two weeks notice as i think i am too old to work nights.

well thats my excuse

thanks, r

In Loving-what-is , wrote:

>

> Dear " whining debbie downer " ,

>

> I don't have a choice. I notice that, because if I argue with

something that is, I loose.

>

> Turns out, that my idea of what's best wasn't that great, anyway.

Because what is

> supposed to be is much better.

>

> So, not having a choice is a good thing.

>

> I notice that when I inquire. And I do inquire into whatever I

think would be a good idea

> for reality to change into.

>

> Another thought that came to me, is: when I want someone to be

different in any way,

> what I do is to kill this person in my mind, and replace him with

someone else who is

> more like I think he should be. No wonder it is painful.

>

> Same goes for anything else.

>

> So, instead of trying to explain why I want what - which is mind

explaining itself - it doesn't seem to get me anywhere - I try to find

what I would like to have.

>

> Is there any way you would like the world to change, so that you

did not have to do it?

> Because it sounds like it's very difficult for you to change, anyway.

> And try to be aware of when you start rationalizing your wants.

>

> > i wanted to work on days... today i found out they just hired a new

> > person for days.. I guess i should quit.

> So, they should give you that job. Is that true?

>

> And sit with it.

>

> You don't seem to be quitting. Not yet.

>

>

>

> > ... but i dont know if i really am that good at helping people

> well, who else would know, if not you?

>

> So ask you: are you good at helping people?

>

> Have you ever helped someone? Can you find it?

>

> > I think i am a potential trouble source which is described in

scientology.

> So judge the " potential trouble " . What is that? In your words?

>

>

> > I'm glad to feel no responsibility but is that really true?

> Is what true? That you are glad, or that you feel no responsibility?

>

> > To be totally honest i wish i could die.

> And you will. Trust me on that.

>

> > no wonder so many people think i need drugs.

> are they right? Do you take drugs?

> How do you know you need something?

>

> > i wouldnt commit suicide , it just seems like the only solution to

my depression.

> Well, what IS a depression? I want you to ask you. And I want to

know how you

> experience it, because I lack that experience. Or maybe not.

>

> And suicide is the only solution to your depression. - is that

true? I mean, do you even

> believe that?

>

> > Which i've had since grade school or maybe before.

> Ask you. What is the first time you remember you had a depression?

What was it like? Where were you, what did you think, what was around

you? Be accurate. It's your

> life. Do you want to miss any part of it?

>

>

> > I do the work and get no where

> Is that true? And where do you WANT to get?

>

> > - I will try to do it on someone else.

> Good.

>

> > I still feel the problem is with me.

> Turn it around. Put " my thinking " or " my thoughts about

depression " in it.

>

> > any advice is welcome but i feel pretty hopeless as usual

> You'd have to feel that. It sounds like you spin over and over.

That's how you get " nowhere " : you never stop. It doesn't matter where

you stop, you are somewhere. Always. But if you go: " I should do this,

I should do that, but maybe that won't be good, and I think maybe... "

you go on travelling.

>

> > If i have no choice whats the use?

> The use of what? To live? To decide? What do you want a use for?

> What do you want a choice for?

>

>

> > whining debbie downer, r

> Love,

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Sie denken an Ihre Sicherheit? Das tun wir auch.

>

>

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dear steve..ive read almost every book written on reincarnation

And I bought neale donald walsh book on death but never read it.

basically i know that what ever state of mind your in at death

you will take with you.

so i know its not a solution but when you feel hopeless it seems like

a good idea. ---thanks ,r

In Loving-what-is , " Steve D " wrote:

>

> Dear r,

>

> I notice that you said:

> " TO be totally honest i wish i could die. "

>

> I was wondering if you believe that death would be a solution to your

> depression?

>

> I would ask myself the following questions:

>

> " Where is my proof that death would help my situation? I base this

> belief on what proof? Can I really know what awaits me after death?

> Can I really know that things would be any better? "

>

> Just wondering?

>

> Love, Steve D.

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > Dear ~ Some ruminations arising from this

> > > fascinating....dialogue.

> > >

> > > You wrote,

> > >

> > > " Well, these posts don't sound peaceful to me. And, yes, that's

> just

> > > me. Because in the moment I don't see you as peaceful, I am not

> in

> > > peace. "

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Yes, this seems like insightful teaching. The thing of it is,

> > > is...all this yearning for peace.....Hmmmmmmmm.....

> > >

> > > Well.....what *I* see is that what we see, or don't see, " in the

> > > moment, " is not " up to us. " We have NO CONTROL over what we see

> or

> > > don't see (peace or disharmony, for example).

> > >

> > > In a moment of disharmony, a thought may arise to question

> everything,

> > > we may be provoked to do The Work, and even if The Work is

> engaged, it

> > > may, or may not, dissolve the confusion. Ultimately, however, it

> > > seems to me, that what happens is simply not....up....to....us.

> > >

> > > The sense here is that we are constructed constructs, constructed

> out

> > > of the illusion that we have some say in how things are. Rather,

> what

> > > we are IS how things are.

> > >

> > > So....sometimes there is peace....sometimes there is not peace.

> And

> > > this is so for all the other states-of-being (joy, grief, humor,

> > > sadness, lust, boredom). Can it be Seen Clearly that we are not

> the

> > > Author of any of them, merely the recepients?

> > >

> > > So, we 'do' The Work in a stressful moment, and,

> > > SOMETIMES........sometimes.....The Work...works! In such

> instances

> > > some may be led to conclude, " Ah....I did that! By doing The

> Work,

> > > 'I' undid the stress. " This only adds to the illusion that we

> have

> > > some " power " to effect change.

> > >

> > > Just where this has been going for me, lately.

> > >

> >

>

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You are not good with KIDS, R

Is that true?

Can you be yourself around kids?

That would be more than enough :) (cause kids value honesty).

Wonna know how I am with kids?

It depend on what side of the bed I woke up :)

If I am happy, and joyful

I want to play!

So, if I see my nephew plays basketball, for example

I go out and join the game.

Last time, I won, and I started to dance in the street, and make

funny noises

My nephew told some people that he " doesn't know that women " -I am

use to that :)

However, if I am sad, and miss a man in my life, Dahh

I take the first kid I see, and force him / her to listen to me

Cause I need to complain, and I could use unconditional love (kids

are good at that)

And when I wanted LAA, I asked my nephew which ant he loves the most.

He said: YOU, and I asked WHY?

You know what he told me?

That I am is favorite ant cause I am truthful and I never try to

please him

He heard several times an honest NO to the question: T, do you want

to play with me?)

Actually it was more of: Sorry, I cannot, I am too busy doing

nothing. Ask me latter, will you?

R, I perceive you as an honest person, I think it will do with kids

Start with that and come back for further instructions :)

T

> dear t.. Thanks for the suggestion.. I'm not really good with

kids..

> I wish I was.. My best friend patty is excellent with kids.. And

she

> used to have a day care in her home.

> I have decided to quit my job. I don't know what I will do after

that.

> I guess I will just wait and see.

> I've had the flu and I feel sick but I have to work tomorrow and I

> will give my notice than.

> actually working with Alzheimer people is like working with kids..

So

> in that maybe your half right.

> I really would like not to work at all.

> love,r

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You see how honest you are with your answers?

Children would love you :)

T

-- Re: to work or not

i work with all women.

actually at night there is only two of us

and besides I dont want a lover

And i dont want to ask my husband.

He would suggest a divorce and i dont want that.

Though it could happen.

r

-

-- In Loving-what-is , " Tami " wrote:

>

> Maybe you should stay at your work

> And find yourself a nice lover there to give you LAA?

>

> I know someone that it seem to work good for him

> (see my previous post)

>

> Ask your husband, what he thinks about my idea

>

> T

>

>

> > dear Andy, I find this pretty fascinating.. Of no choice

> > I think I want to quit my job and then again I don't

> > My husband said to give it two weeks.

> > How will I know what to do?

> > Im really confused I guess I will wait and see.

> > I wanted to work on days .. Today I found out they just hired a new

> > person for days.. I guess I should quit.

> > not only because of that but I don't know if I really am that good

> at

> > helping people - due to the fact I don't listen and duplicate

> > I think I am a potential trouble source which is described in

> > scientology.

> > I'm glad to feel no responsibility but is that really true?

> > TO be totally honest I wish I could die.

> > no wonder so many people think I need drugs.

> > I wouldn't commit suicide , it just seems like the only solution

> to my

> > depression. Which I've had since grade school or maybe before.

> > I do the work and get no where - I will try to do it on someone

> else.

> > I still feel the problem is with me.

> > any advice is welcome but I feel pretty hopeless as usual

> > If I have no choice whats the use

> > whining Debbie downer, r

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > -- In Loving-what-is , " Andy " <endofthedream@>

> wrote:

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Dear ~ Some ruminations arising from this

> > > fascinating....dialogue.

> > >

> > > You wrote,

> > >

> > > " Well, these posts don't sound peaceful to me. And, yes, that's

> just

> > > me. Because in the moment I don't see you as peaceful, I am not

> in

> > > peace. "

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Yes, this seems like insightful teaching. The thing of it is,

> > > is...all this yearning for peace.....Hmmmmmmmm.....

> > >

> > > Well.....what *I* see is that what we see, or don't see, " in the

> > > moment, " is not " up to us. " We have NO CONTROL over what we see

> or

> > > don't see (peace or disharmony, for example).

> > >

> > > In a moment of disharmony, a thought may arise to question

> everything,

> > > we may be provoked to do The Work, and even if The Work is

> engaged, it

> > > may, or may not, dissolve the confusion. Ultimately, however, it

> > > seems to me, that what happens is simply not....up....to....us.

> > >

> > > The sense here is that we are constructed constructs,

> constructed out

> > > of the illusion that we have some say in how things are.

> Rather, what

> > > we are IS how things are.

> > >

> > > So....sometimes there is peace....sometimes there is not peace.

> And

> > > this is so for all the other states-of-being (joy, grief, humor,

> > > sadness, lust, boredom). Can it be Seen Clearly that we are not

> the

> > > Author of any of them, merely the recepients?

> > >

> > > So, we 'do' The Work in a stressful moment, and,

> > > SOMETIMES........sometimes.....The Work...works! In such

> instances

> > > some may be led to conclude, " Ah....I did that! By doing The

> Work,

> > > 'I' undid the stress. " This only adds to the illusion that we

> have

> > > some " power " to effect change.

> > >

> > > Just where this has been going for me, lately.

> > >

> >

>

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ive decided to quit my job.

I am fixated on what is wrong with my life. its habit.

I see what you mean you have to actively want something better.

I went to a buddhist group and they would say you have to want

to be free from suffering.

I 'm not there yet. but my life is really easy compared to most people

in reality. I sprained my back and i have the flu but that is temporary.

thanks for the suggestions , r

- In Loving-what-is , " joseph.being "

wrote:

>

> Dear Debbie Downer

>

> You don't know what to do? Is that true? SHOULD you know what to

> do? It seems that you chose to wait and see.

>

> You don't listen? Is that true? Could you learn to listen better?

>

> Depression... it does seem that it will never end...

> I've had some experience with that, perhaps this will be useful.

> Why are you depressed? I'm not talking about the deep underlying

> issues here but the day to day, minute to minute ways that you keep

> yourself depressed. I know that it doesn't SEEM like it but I've

> found that staying depressed is actually quite alot of work. It

> seems natural and effortless because it is habit and " normal " but...

> I think that if you really look at it you will see how you must FEED

> your depression to keep it going (your post is a good example).

> Every depressing thought, every action that you take (or not) based

> on those depressing thoughts serves to keep you that way. A simple

> technique that can be used is NOT-DOING. Once you identify what

> those depressing thoughts and actions are, consciously choose to do

> something different. I remember that one of my favorite ways to

> feed my depression was music. I would find negative music and

> indulge to the limits, savoring every last juicy drop of the

> pain...and hopelessness. No wonder I was depressed! My not-doing:

> choose uplifting music or no music. But it wasn't only that. All

> day long every day my mind was fixated on what was so wrong with my

> life. How could I possibly NOT be depressed!? My not-doing:

> choosing a project meant to improve my life and doing that instead

> of sitting around lost in thoughts of how horrible it all is, or

> engaging in some MEANINGLESS distraction. Reading your post it

> seems that you even use The Work to feed your depression.(?) But

> the key is whether you really WANT something different. If you

> DON'T WANT to be depressed, or DON'T WANT this or that. That's

> still a negative focus and; how does that make you feel? If you DO

> WANT something different then you WILL engage in the thoughts and

> actions to bring that about. The Work or not-doing or any other

> system or technique is not going to help unless you ACTIVELY WANT

> something better.

>

> Warm Regards

> ph

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > Dear ~ Some ruminations arising from this

> > > fascinating....dialogue.

> > >

> > > You wrote,

> > >

> > > " Well, these posts don't sound peaceful to me. And, yes, that's

> just

> > > me. Because in the moment I don't see you as peaceful, I am not

> in

> > > peace. "

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Yes, this seems like insightful teaching. The thing of it is,

> > > is...all this yearning for peace.....Hmmmmmmmm.....

> > >

> > > Well.....what *I* see is that what we see, or don't see, " in the

> > > moment, " is not " up to us. " We have NO CONTROL over what we see

> or

> > > don't see (peace or disharmony, for example).

> > >

> > > In a moment of disharmony, a thought may arise to question

> everything,

> > > we may be provoked to do The Work, and even if The Work is

> engaged, it

> > > may, or may not, dissolve the confusion. Ultimately, however, it

> > > seems to me, that what happens is simply not....up....to....us.

> > >

> > > The sense here is that we are constructed constructs,

> constructed out

> > > of the illusion that we have some say in how things are.

> Rather, what

> > > we are IS how things are.

> > >

> > > So....sometimes there is peace....sometimes there is not peace.

> And

> > > this is so for all the other states-of-being (joy, grief, humor,

> > > sadness, lust, boredom). Can it be Seen Clearly that we are not

> the

> > > Author of any of them, merely the recepients?

> > >

> > > So, we 'do' The Work in a stressful moment, and,

> > > SOMETIMES........sometimes.....The Work...works! In such

> instances

> > > some may be led to conclude, " Ah....I did that! By doing The

> Work,

> > > 'I' undid the stress. " This only adds to the illusion that we

> have

> > > some " power " to effect change.

> > >

> > > Just where this has been going for me, lately.

> > >

> >

>

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> TO be totally honest i wish i could die.

Dear R

I was depressed...I was suicidal; as a matter of fact, I would have

killed myself but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you

kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

Grrrr

T

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dear .,

I suppose friendship is eternal in some sense. Like says

everyone loves me they just dont realize it.

The scientology thing is about communication. And i was referring to

the ARC triangle.. WE are friends with those people we have ARC in

common with.. or those we communicate well with.

ARC stands for AFfinity REality and communication equals

understanding --

Its a triangle because if your affinity for someone is low.. it means

your communication and your reality are also low.

When your communication is high it increases affinity and reality.

AS one side of the triangle increases the others do and if one is less

the others become less.

I dont know if you are back with your wife or not.. but when a couple

break up it is due to a break in the arc triangle..

And to resolve it you use communication..

When i was saying friends stop communicating then the friendship ends

that was why? Although i suppose we are all friends on this

planet.just being here.

I did quit my job and i feel guilty because i wasnt good at it.. so

its good i quit.

You asked when was i sad and i was going to answer my entire childhood

and life but then of course that is not true. Thats just where im at

now in my depression state again

I really had an easy childhood for the most part. IT was my parents

arguing that was very hard

I argued with the fact they argued.

My brother was so effected he almost never talks. He lives with my

mom . My sister was not effected and has had a very successful career

and is a happy person.

I guess it was our stories we bought into.

It was good in that 1 it was honest.

2 REleased tension.

And 3 it meant they were communicating even if it was in anger

I do think screaming can be beneficial.. if your not around kids.. or

if your home alone.

Maybe its ok around kids as well.. i suppose its the amount of

screaming --well thats a story.

Every child will be effected differently. depending on ones story.

dr phil on TV here in america said his parents fought and he is very

much against it in front of children. However it certainly didnt stop

him from being successful.

I suppose it is my old victim mentality which wants to blame my

parents for any problems i have with depression now.. and that of

course is something i have to take responsiblity for and heal ...

or i dont because i have gotten sympathy from having a depression

problem.. I know my husband is really getting tired of my old tapes..

Im back to being unemployed and i hope i can some how cure myself.

I feel very down lately as usual. And maybe its a drama i dont want to

let go of some how.. My old identity. Without it i wouldnt have a

problem and what would i talk about. ?

I didnt really want to go back to work and now i realize i really

shouldnt of tried to go back after all.

i should be doing the work but im too depressed.

I hope someone learns from my mistakes if thats possible

love, r

..

- In Loving-what-is , wrote:

>

> >> The question is: how do YOU know that

> >> you lost a friend? What is your reference?

> > not calling not seeing the friend,

> I have plenty of friends I don't call all day long and I don't always

> see.

> I need a more specific reference point.

> I don't think it has to do with time... with what DOES it have to do?

>

> > or seeing them and they ignor you or you them...

> Well, maybe the did not see me, and maybe I just don't fell like

> talking to the NOW. I could be angry for something, but that could be

> settled somewhen, don't you think?

>

> > I would say that would be an indication the friendship is over.

> Ok... that means it COULD be true that the friend is lost.

> And how do you KNOW the friend is lost?

>

> > dahh

> > or in scientology terms a break in communication.

> Do these words convey the same meaning as what we were talking about?

>

> A break in communication happens at every pause, even when you talk,

> and my mind just wanders off.

>

>

> >> You will be happy, as soon as you stop

> >> keeping yourself from noticing.

> > TRue .. as katie would say its just that thought you need something to

> > be different that kicks us out of heaven. I agree.

> So, whenever you feel that you got kicked out of heaven, remind

> yourself of that.

>

> >> How good do you have to become, so that you can be happy?

> >> How would you notice that you are finally " good enough " when you get

> >> there?

> > I have no idea..

> Well, get one! Because as long as you don't, even if you get good

> enough, you miss it!

>

> >> And you can't quit. - Is that true?

> > I could of quit

> Good.

>

> > and i did in 2 weeks but the lady in charge says they

> > have an ad in the paper and she hasnt been able to find anyone yet.

> Yes, and you CAN'T quit. Is that true?

>

> How do you feel when you believe the thought? Who ARE you with this

> thought?

>

>

> >> Why? What is the circumstance that thought occured to you first? And

> >> if you can't get to the first time, just take any ONE time.

> > about not being good enough with swimming

> > i remember a family reunion and feeling like an outcast for not liking

> > swimming.. it was humiliating. oh well

> How was it humiliating? What were the words? What were YOUR words?

>

> >> Well, it's like: if I can't be good enough at anything, let me be the

> >> best at not being good enough.

> >>

> >> So much for not having high standards!

> > Well it is all a matter of ego..

> It is a matter of... what?

>

> > And about Joan I would try to contact her but i dont know her last

> > name and i really didnt realize who she was till later.

> > And i told her i didnt want to be in touch with anyone and not Joan ..

> > not realizing she was joan. dah.

> > I have never wanted to go to a high school reunion.

> So this is how you react when you believe you had no friends there.

> Or whatever the thought is you believe.

>

> > And did i have other friends in grade school no just Joan pretty

> > pathetic just kidding. I was a shy kid. she was not.

>

> > What did i feel when my parents were arguing.. is very hard.. because

> > i sort of blocked it all out. And i cant pick one time because its so

> > vague.

> It's to see what's going on in your mind. Even if it didn't happen at

> ONE time, pick it how it comes to you. If you remember two things

> happening short after another, then they did happen one after another.

> As far as you are concerned.

>

> > I was very very sad.

> When?

>

> > which is why i dont think people who argue should stay married but

> > maybe that is just my story and not reality at all.. I could of just

> > said oh well their arguing again but i suppose i argued with their

> > arguing.

> Yes, it's good to know.

>

> And how do you know it's just your story? Ask yourself: did they stay

> married? Do you know ONE couple that argues and stays married? There

> you have your answer. It doesn't get any simpler.

>

> > They would have screaming matches and to this day i have no idea

> > what was said.. none zero and this was not that rare of an occurance.

> > I think you could hear my father a block away and yet i have no idea

> > what was said.. isnt that weird. ?

> Well, some people pay money to go to therapies where they can scream!

> It is a form of relieving stress. Sometimes you get so tense, you

> just want to leave it out. Others get sick because they don't let

> their emotions out. So... having screaming matches may just have

> released a lot of tension and could have been a very kind thing to do

> to each other.

> Find three genuine things that were good about them having screaming

> matches.

>

> > my father was having an affair but i didnt figure that out till i was

> > an adult. I decided very early that i would never ever get married and

> > i would not have kids.. but so much for that idea.. you dont make

> > decisions they get made for you.. I have been married 28 years and i

> > have two sons. so -so much for that decision.

> Well, you had a thought that you thought was true. And it was until

> you got married.

>

> > my parents stayed married till my dad died of cancer.

> >

> > They loved each other very much just yelled a lot.

> Yes, that's what it tells me, as well.

>

> Isn't that good to know?

>

> Look at them, yelling at each other, look if you can find a

> thought... and notice the difference with and without the thought.

>

> > i dont feel angry very often. just depressed still oh well. I suppose

> > it is an old story and im so used to it.

> Anger is a form of fear. No fear, no anger.

>

> And sadness is a sign that you are believing a thought that is not

> true for you.

>

> > thanks for all your time. .

> You are welcome.

>

> > love, r

> Love,

>

>

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--- A break in communication happens at every pause, even when you talk,

> and my mind just wanders off.

alex, your right i shouldnt of used scientology terms again

A break in communication would be not speaking or disagreeing -or a

break in reality or understanding.

People can have breaks in communication and then get back in

communication again of course..

Like if you have a fight with someone and then you start talking about

things you agree on.. you raise reality and then affinity and then

you could communicate again.

In screaming at each other i suppose my parents were increasing their

affinity in some respects. and for kids it could be hard

because at least for my brother and i-- it sort of stopped our

communcation.

Of course it doesnt have to anymore.. but my brother and i havent got

much in common.. so we rarely talk to each other.

WE disagree on religion , and politics.

ITs weird how children can be so different. yet im trying to accept

his reality --its all different stories.

love,r

In Loving-what-is , wrote:

>

> >> The question is: how do YOU know that

> >> you lost a friend? What is your reference?

> > not calling not seeing the friend,

> I have plenty of friends I don't call all day long and I don't always

> see.

> I need a more specific reference point.

> I don't think it has to do with time... with what DOES it have to do?

>

> > or seeing them and they ignor you or you them...

> Well, maybe the did not see me, and maybe I just don't fell like

> talking to the NOW. I could be angry for something, but that could be

> settled somewhen, don't you think?

>

> > I would say that would be an indication the friendship is over.

> Ok... that means it COULD be true that the friend is lost.

> And how do you KNOW the friend is lost?

>

> > dahh

> > or in scientology terms a break in communication.

> Do these words convey the same meaning as what we were talking about?

>

> A break in communication happens at every pause, even when you talk,

> and my mind just wanders off.

>

>

> >> You will be happy, as soon as you stop

> >> keeping yourself from noticing.

> > TRue .. as katie would say its just that thought you need something to

> > be different that kicks us out of heaven. I agree.

> So, whenever you feel that you got kicked out of heaven, remind

> yourself of that.

>

> >> How good do you have to become, so that you can be happy?

> >> How would you notice that you are finally " good enough " when you get

> >> there?

> > I have no idea..

> Well, get one! Because as long as you don't, even if you get good

> enough, you miss it!

>

> >> And you can't quit. - Is that true?

> > I could of quit

> Good.

>

> > and i did in 2 weeks but the lady in charge says they

> > have an ad in the paper and she hasnt been able to find anyone yet.

> Yes, and you CAN'T quit. Is that true?

>

> How do you feel when you believe the thought? Who ARE you with this

> thought?

>

>

> >> Why? What is the circumstance that thought occured to you first? And

> >> if you can't get to the first time, just take any ONE time.

> > about not being good enough with swimming

> > i remember a family reunion and feeling like an outcast for not liking

> > swimming.. it was humiliating. oh well

> How was it humiliating? What were the words? What were YOUR words?

>

> >> Well, it's like: if I can't be good enough at anything, let me be the

> >> best at not being good enough.

> >>

> >> So much for not having high standards!

> > Well it is all a matter of ego..

> It is a matter of... what?

>

> > And about Joan I would try to contact her but i dont know her last

> > name and i really didnt realize who she was till later.

> > And i told her i didnt want to be in touch with anyone and not Joan ..

> > not realizing she was joan. dah.

> > I have never wanted to go to a high school reunion.

> So this is how you react when you believe you had no friends there.

> Or whatever the thought is you believe.

>

> > And did i have other friends in grade school no just Joan pretty

> > pathetic just kidding. I was a shy kid. she was not.

>

> > What did i feel when my parents were arguing.. is very hard.. because

> > i sort of blocked it all out. And i cant pick one time because its so

> > vague.

> It's to see what's going on in your mind. Even if it didn't happen at

> ONE time, pick it how it comes to you. If you remember two things

> happening short after another, then they did happen one after another.

> As far as you are concerned.

>

> > I was very very sad.

> When?

>

> > which is why i dont think people who argue should stay married but

> > maybe that is just my story and not reality at all.. I could of just

> > said oh well their arguing again but i suppose i argued with their

> > arguing.

> Yes, it's good to know.

>

> And how do you know it's just your story? Ask yourself: did they stay

> married? Do you know ONE couple that argues and stays married? There

> you have your answer. It doesn't get any simpler.

>

> > They would have screaming matches and to this day i have no idea

> > what was said.. none zero and this was not that rare of an occurance.

> > I think you could hear my father a block away and yet i have no idea

> > what was said.. isnt that weird. ?

> Well, some people pay money to go to therapies where they can scream!

> It is a form of relieving stress. Sometimes you get so tense, you

> just want to leave it out. Others get sick because they don't let

> their emotions out. So... having screaming matches may just have

> released a lot of tension and could have been a very kind thing to do

> to each other.

> Find three genuine things that were good about them having screaming

> matches.

>

> > my father was having an affair but i didnt figure that out till i was

> > an adult. I decided very early that i would never ever get married and

> > i would not have kids.. but so much for that idea.. you dont make

> > decisions they get made for you.. I have been married 28 years and i

> > have two sons. so -so much for that decision.

> Well, you had a thought that you thought was true. And it was until

> you got married.

>

> > my parents stayed married till my dad died of cancer.

> >

> > They loved each other very much just yelled a lot.

> Yes, that's what it tells me, as well.

>

> Isn't that good to know?

>

> Look at them, yelling at each other, look if you can find a

> thought... and notice the difference with and without the thought.

>

> > i dont feel angry very often. just depressed still oh well. I suppose

> > it is an old story and im so used to it.

> Anger is a form of fear. No fear, no anger.

>

> And sadness is a sign that you are believing a thought that is not

> true for you.

>

> > thanks for all your time. .

> You are welcome.

>

> > love, r

> Love,

>

>

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>> --- A break in communication happens at every pause, even when you

>> talk,

>> and my mind just wanders off.

>

> alex, your right i shouldnt of used scientology terms again

>

> A break in communication would be not speaking

So, you speak, I listen. I don't speak.

> or disagreeing -

That's not very uncommon, either, is it?

> or a break in reality

What is a break in reality?

> or understanding.

That's not very uncommon, either, is it?

> People can have breaks in communication and then get back in

> communication again of course..

Good find!

> Like if you have a fight with someone and then you start talking about

> things you agree on.. you raise reality and then affinity and then

> you could communicate again.

> In screaming at each other i suppose my parents were increasing their

> affinity in some respects.

Well, it was their way of communicating. And I hear they had other

ways, as well.

> and for kids it could be hard

And for me it...

" Kids " don't have to do with it.

> because at least for my brother and i-- it sort of stopped our

> communcation.

Is that true?

So, if your parents had not screamed at each other, at all, you would

have become different communicators. Can you really know that?

> Of course it doesnt have to anymore.. but my brother and i havent got

> much in common.. so we rarely talk to each other.

> WE disagree on religion , and politics.

Well, you know, people who disagree may have a lot to talk about.

> ITs weird how children can be so different. yet im trying to accept

> his reality - its all different stories.

Well, it's a story of who you are, that you are siblings, that

siblings should have anything in common - actually that any two

people should have anything in common...

But your take was about " loosing someone "

So, how do YOU loose someone? Pick one person you lost.

You lost him. Is that true?

> love,r

Love,

> In Loving-what-is , wrote:

>>

>>>> The question is: how do YOU know that

>>>> you lost a friend? What is your reference?

>>> not calling not seeing the friend,

>> I have plenty of friends I don't call all day long and I don't always

>> see.

>> I need a more specific reference point.

>> I don't think it has to do with time... with what DOES it have to do?

>>

>>> or seeing them and they ignor you or you them...

>> Well, maybe the did not see me, and maybe I just don't fell like

>> talking to the NOW. I could be angry for something, but that could be

>> settled somewhen, don't you think?

>>

>>> I would say that would be an indication the friendship is over.

>> Ok... that means it COULD be true that the friend is lost.

>> And how do you KNOW the friend is lost?

>>

>>> dahh

>>> or in scientology terms a break in communication.

>> Do these words convey the same meaning as what we were talking about?

>>

>> A break in communication happens at every pause, even when you talk,

>> and my mind just wanders off.

>>

>>

>>>> You will be happy, as soon as you stop

>>>> keeping yourself from noticing.

>>> TRue .. as katie would say its just that thought you need

>>> something to

>>> be different that kicks us out of heaven. I agree.

>> So, whenever you feel that you got kicked out of heaven, remind

>> yourself of that.

>>

>>>> How good do you have to become, so that you can be happy?

>>>> How would you notice that you are finally " good enough " when you

>>>> get

>>>> there?

>>> I have no idea..

>> Well, get one! Because as long as you don't, even if you get good

>> enough, you miss it!

>>

>>>> And you can't quit. - Is that true?

>>> I could of quit

>> Good.

>>

>>> and i did in 2 weeks but the lady in charge says they

>>> have an ad in the paper and she hasnt been able to find anyone yet.

>> Yes, and you CAN'T quit. Is that true?

>>

>> How do you feel when you believe the thought? Who ARE you with this

>> thought?

>>

>>

>>>> Why? What is the circumstance that thought occured to you first?

>>>> And

>>>> if you can't get to the first time, just take any ONE time.

>>> about not being good enough with swimming

>>> i remember a family reunion and feeling like an outcast for not

>>> liking

>>> swimming.. it was humiliating. oh well

>> How was it humiliating? What were the words? What were YOUR words?

>>

>>>> Well, it's like: if I can't be good enough at anything, let me

>>>> be the

>>>> best at not being good enough.

>>>>

>>>> So much for not having high standards!

>>> Well it is all a matter of ego..

>> It is a matter of... what?

>>

>>> And about Joan I would try to contact her but i dont know her last

>>> name and i really didnt realize who she was till later.

>>> And i told her i didnt want to be in touch with anyone and not

>>> Joan ..

>>> not realizing she was joan. dah.

>>> I have never wanted to go to a high school reunion.

>> So this is how you react when you believe you had no friends there.

>> Or whatever the thought is you believe.

>>

>>> And did i have other friends in grade school no just Joan pretty

>>> pathetic just kidding. I was a shy kid. she was not.

>>

>>> What did i feel when my parents were arguing.. is very hard..

>>> because

>>> i sort of blocked it all out. And i cant pick one time because

>>> its so

>>> vague.

>> It's to see what's going on in your mind. Even if it didn't happen at

>> ONE time, pick it how it comes to you. If you remember two things

>> happening short after another, then they did happen one after

>> another.

>> As far as you are concerned.

>>

>>> I was very very sad.

>> When?

>>

>>> which is why i dont think people who argue should stay married but

>>> maybe that is just my story and not reality at all.. I could of just

>>> said oh well their arguing again but i suppose i argued with their

>>> arguing.

>> Yes, it's good to know.

>>

>> And how do you know it's just your story? Ask yourself: did they stay

>> married? Do you know ONE couple that argues and stays married? There

>> you have your answer. It doesn't get any simpler.

>>

>>> They would have screaming matches and to this day i have no idea

>>> what was said.. none zero and this was not that rare of an

>>> occurance.

>>> I think you could hear my father a block away and yet i have no idea

>>> what was said.. isnt that weird. ?

>> Well, some people pay money to go to therapies where they can scream!

>> It is a form of relieving stress. Sometimes you get so tense, you

>> just want to leave it out. Others get sick because they don't let

>> their emotions out. So... having screaming matches may just have

>> released a lot of tension and could have been a very kind thing to do

>> to each other.

>> Find three genuine things that were good about them having screaming

>> matches.

>>

>>> my father was having an affair but i didnt figure that out till i

>>> was

>>> an adult. I decided very early that i would never ever get

>>> married and

>>> i would not have kids.. but so much for that idea.. you dont make

>>> decisions they get made for you.. I have been married 28 years and i

>>> have two sons. so -so much for that decision.

>> Well, you had a thought that you thought was true. And it was until

>> you got married.

>>

>>> my parents stayed married till my dad died of cancer.

>>>

>>> They loved each other very much just yelled a lot.

>> Yes, that's what it tells me, as well.

>>

>> Isn't that good to know?

>>

>> Look at them, yelling at each other, look if you can find a

>> thought... and notice the difference with and without the thought.

>>

>>> i dont feel angry very often. just depressed still oh well. I

>>> suppose

>>> it is an old story and im so used to it.

>> Anger is a form of fear. No fear, no anger.

>>

>> And sadness is a sign that you are believing a thought that is not

>> true for you.

>>

>>> thanks for all your time. .

>> You are welcome.

>>

>>> love, r

>> Love,

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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I suppose it is my old victim mentality which wants to blame my

parents for any problems i have with depression now.. and that of

course is something i have to take responsiblity for and heal ...

*****No. You are not responsible. NO ONE is responsible. Never in

the history of the world has there been any responsibility.

You (as us all) have always done, and will continue to do, the

conditioning that is " you, " Rosyln. You had no say in the creation of

that conditioning, thus, you have no say in its outcome either.

Seeing that, really SEEING that, is liberation.

or i dont because i have gotten sympathy from having a depression

problem..

*****Do you prefer the depression AND the sympathy, or would you trade

the pair for the lack of depression?

I know my husband is really getting tired of my old tapes..

*****The tapes will change when YOU get tired of them. But in this,

as in all things, you have no say. It will happen when -- and if --

it happens.

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a break in reality is seeing things in a differnt light.. Different

stories.. like republicans and democrats have a different

story. -reality of whats true for them

if you agree or have the same story you have the same reality. And

then communication is higher and so is affinity. they all go together.

When people disagree their communication is less and their affinity is

less.

I cant know my parents arguing effected our communication

it was my story.

I suppose pretending to agree is just as bad.

AS for losing a friend .. my story still is you do if you dont

communicate. but i suppose on another level you are still friends.

I'm not friends with Joan or a boyfriend Dell however i suppose they

are still friends also. so you win. Or rather i see the truth in that.

thanks, love,roslyn

-- In Loving-what-is , wrote:

>

>

> >> --- A break in communication happens at every pause, even when you

> >> talk,

> >> and my mind just wanders off.

> >

> > alex, your right i shouldnt of used scientology terms again

> >

> > A break in communication would be not speaking

> So, you speak, I listen. I don't speak.

>

> > or disagreeing -

> That's not very uncommon, either, is it?

>

> > or a break in reality

> What is a break in reality?

>

> > or understanding.

> That's not very uncommon, either, is it?

>

> > People can have breaks in communication and then get back in

> > communication again of course..

> Good find!

>

> > Like if you have a fight with someone and then you start talking about

> > things you agree on.. you raise reality and then affinity and then

> > you could communicate again.

>

> > In screaming at each other i suppose my parents were increasing their

> > affinity in some respects.

> Well, it was their way of communicating. And I hear they had other

> ways, as well.

>

> > and for kids it could be hard

> And for me it...

> " Kids " don't have to do with it.

>

> > because at least for my brother and i-- it sort of stopped our

> > communcation.

> Is that true?

>

> So, if your parents had not screamed at each other, at all, you would

> have become different communicators. Can you really know that?

>

> > Of course it doesnt have to anymore.. but my brother and i havent got

> > much in common.. so we rarely talk to each other.

> > WE disagree on religion , and politics.

> Well, you know, people who disagree may have a lot to talk about.

>

> > ITs weird how children can be so different. yet im trying to accept

> > his reality - its all different stories.

> Well, it's a story of who you are, that you are siblings, that

> siblings should have anything in common - actually that any two

> people should have anything in common...

>

> But your take was about " loosing someone "

>

> So, how do YOU loose someone? Pick one person you lost.

> You lost him. Is that true?

>

> > love,r

> Love,

>

>

> > In Loving-what-is , <olli_26@> wrote:

> >>

> >>>> The question is: how do YOU know that

> >>>> you lost a friend? What is your reference?

> >>> not calling not seeing the friend,

> >> I have plenty of friends I don't call all day long and I don't always

> >> see.

> >> I need a more specific reference point.

> >> I don't think it has to do with time... with what DOES it have to do?

> >>

> >>> or seeing them and they ignor you or you them...

> >> Well, maybe the did not see me, and maybe I just don't fell like

> >> talking to the NOW. I could be angry for something, but that could be

> >> settled somewhen, don't you think?

> >>

> >>> I would say that would be an indication the friendship is over.

> >> Ok... that means it COULD be true that the friend is lost.

> >> And how do you KNOW the friend is lost?

> >>

> >>> dahh

> >>> or in scientology terms a break in communication.

> >> Do these words convey the same meaning as what we were talking about?

> >>

> >> A break in communication happens at every pause, even when you talk,

> >> and my mind just wanders off.

> >>

> >>

> >>>> You will be happy, as soon as you stop

> >>>> keeping yourself from noticing.

> >>> TRue .. as katie would say its just that thought you need

> >>> something to

> >>> be different that kicks us out of heaven. I agree.

> >> So, whenever you feel that you got kicked out of heaven, remind

> >> yourself of that.

> >>

> >>>> How good do you have to become, so that you can be happy?

> >>>> How would you notice that you are finally " good enough " when you

> >>>> get

> >>>> there?

> >>> I have no idea..

> >> Well, get one! Because as long as you don't, even if you get good

> >> enough, you miss it!

> >>

> >>>> And you can't quit. - Is that true?

> >>> I could of quit

> >> Good.

> >>

> >>> and i did in 2 weeks but the lady in charge says they

> >>> have an ad in the paper and she hasnt been able to find anyone yet.

> >> Yes, and you CAN'T quit. Is that true?

> >>

> >> How do you feel when you believe the thought? Who ARE you with this

> >> thought?

> >>

> >>

> >>>> Why? What is the circumstance that thought occured to you first?

> >>>> And

> >>>> if you can't get to the first time, just take any ONE time.

> >>> about not being good enough with swimming

> >>> i remember a family reunion and feeling like an outcast for not

> >>> liking

> >>> swimming.. it was humiliating. oh well

> >> How was it humiliating? What were the words? What were YOUR words?

> >>

> >>>> Well, it's like: if I can't be good enough at anything, let me

> >>>> be the

> >>>> best at not being good enough.

> >>>>

> >>>> So much for not having high standards!

> >>> Well it is all a matter of ego..

> >> It is a matter of... what?

> >>

> >>> And about Joan I would try to contact her but i dont know her last

> >>> name and i really didnt realize who she was till later.

> >>> And i told her i didnt want to be in touch with anyone and not

> >>> Joan ..

> >>> not realizing she was joan. dah.

> >>> I have never wanted to go to a high school reunion.

> >> So this is how you react when you believe you had no friends there.

> >> Or whatever the thought is you believe.

> >>

> >>> And did i have other friends in grade school no just Joan pretty

> >>> pathetic just kidding. I was a shy kid. she was not.

> >>

> >>> What did i feel when my parents were arguing.. is very hard..

> >>> because

> >>> i sort of blocked it all out. And i cant pick one time because

> >>> its so

> >>> vague.

> >> It's to see what's going on in your mind. Even if it didn't happen at

> >> ONE time, pick it how it comes to you. If you remember two things

> >> happening short after another, then they did happen one after

> >> another.

> >> As far as you are concerned.

> >>

> >>> I was very very sad.

> >> When?

> >>

> >>> which is why i dont think people who argue should stay married but

> >>> maybe that is just my story and not reality at all.. I could of just

> >>> said oh well their arguing again but i suppose i argued with their

> >>> arguing.

> >> Yes, it's good to know.

> >>

> >> And how do you know it's just your story? Ask yourself: did they stay

> >> married? Do you know ONE couple that argues and stays married? There

> >> you have your answer. It doesn't get any simpler.

> >>

> >>> They would have screaming matches and to this day i have no idea

> >>> what was said.. none zero and this was not that rare of an

> >>> occurance.

> >>> I think you could hear my father a block away and yet i have no idea

> >>> what was said.. isnt that weird. ?

> >> Well, some people pay money to go to therapies where they can scream!

> >> It is a form of relieving stress. Sometimes you get so tense, you

> >> just want to leave it out. Others get sick because they don't let

> >> their emotions out. So... having screaming matches may just have

> >> released a lot of tension and could have been a very kind thing to do

> >> to each other.

> >> Find three genuine things that were good about them having screaming

> >> matches.

> >>

> >>> my father was having an affair but i didnt figure that out till i

> >>> was

> >>> an adult. I decided very early that i would never ever get

> >>> married and

> >>> i would not have kids.. but so much for that idea.. you dont make

> >>> decisions they get made for you.. I have been married 28 years and i

> >>> have two sons. so -so much for that decision.

> >> Well, you had a thought that you thought was true. And it was until

> >> you got married.

> >>

> >>> my parents stayed married till my dad died of cancer.

> >>>

> >>> They loved each other very much just yelled a lot.

> >> Yes, that's what it tells me, as well.

> >>

> >> Isn't that good to know?

> >>

> >> Look at them, yelling at each other, look if you can find a

> >> thought... and notice the difference with and without the thought.

> >>

> >>> i dont feel angry very often. just depressed still oh well. I

> >>> suppose

> >>> it is an old story and im so used to it.

> >> Anger is a form of fear. No fear, no anger.

> >>

> >> And sadness is a sign that you are believing a thought that is not

> >> true for you.

> >>

> >>> thanks for all your time. .

> >> You are welcome.

> >>

> >>> love, r

> >> Love,

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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This is what I learn:

mrcitrus6 schrieb: a break in reality is seeing things

in a differnt light.. Different

stories.. like republicans and democrats have a different

story. -reality of whats true for them

I have different stories of what republicans and democrats are.

> if you agree or have the same story you have the same reality. And

> then communication is higher and so is affinity. they all go together.

So that's about how many stories we agree on. Maybe " how few stories we disagree

on " would be more accurate.

> When people disagree their communication is less and their affinity is

> less.

> I cant know my parents arguing effected our communication it was my story.

Who do you become when you believe that story?

> I suppose pretending to agree is just as bad.

I don't know about that.

> AS for losing a friend .. my story still is you do if you dont

> communicate. but i suppose on another level you are still friends.

> I'm not friends with Joan or a boyfriend Dell however i suppose they

> are still friends also. so you win. Or rather i see the truth in that.

So you win.

This is how I see it (using your communication-suggestion): I " loose " a

friend, if I believe the thought, that we don't have anything valuable to

communicate about. And full extent to loose him, would be that we won't ever

have anything valuable to share. Wich is like he died. and the moment I believe

that thought I killed him.

> thanks, love,roslyn

love,

---------------------------------

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