Guest guest Posted April 26, 2006 Report Share Posted April 26, 2006 right. Thanks! " mrcitrus6 " wrote: > > - Since when is Love of parents unconditional? God's love is not > > unconditional (being thrown out of the Garden of Eden etc) - > > God didnt throw anyone out of the garden.. we left it. > Ive been taught at unity > WE wanted the experience of duality and ate of the tree of good and > evil of duality and so we see everyhting with that perception. > > if your interested in another view read THe Disappearance of the > Universe by gary renard. > page 25 .. i would key in the quote but its kindof long. > " even todays parents know the surest way to get children to do > something is to tell them they cant . " > > Its a mythological story with symbolic meaning thats all. > > hell is also a myth -even a human parent wouldnt send their child to > hell.. might seem like they do if they mistreat them. > Hell is what we sometimes create for ourselves here. > love, r > > > > > > > > - In Loving-what-is , " nel stevens " <stevensnel@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > I have a friend who rase her child on her own > > > > (yes yes, she is a single mom). > > > > > > > > Her child all the time complains, cries, and doesn't get no for an > > > answer. > > > > > > > > He is the boss and Carmit tries all the time to please him so that > > > he would > > > > be happy. > > > > > > > > Well, don't be too sad reading this, > > > > Cause I came to her rescue! > > > > > > > > I was at her home today, and her child wanted me to get up from the > > > carpet > > > > So he could play on it (it has a picture of roads and houses on it). > > > > He didn't ask me, he just started to cry. > > > > > > > > Now it was my business too, so I decided to talk to him > > > > And you know me, I never try to please anyone not even a 4 years old > > > crying > > > > child. > > > > > > > > ANyway he cried so I asked him: what do you want? > > > > > > > > Child: crying > > > > > > > > Tami: I am sorry, honey. I want to help you but I cannot cause I > don't > > > > understand a word you say. > > > > > > > > Child: crying and shouting at me: move move. > > > > > > > > Tami: I am sorry honey, if you want me to do something, you need to > > > ask for > > > > it. What do you want? > > > > (playing dammy, teaching him to communicate, Dahh) > > > > > > > > Child: crying, shouting. > > > > > > > > Tami: it is ok to cry, if that is what you want. But if you want me > > > to do > > > > something you need to ask me. > > > > I don't understand. > > > > > > > > Child: move move (crying) > > > > > > > > Tami: listen, if you ask me nicely, I will move. Can you do it? > > > > > > > > Child: crying > > > > > > > > Tami: you know how to ask nicely? I will teach you. All you need to > > > do is to > > > > say to me: tami I want you to move, please. You don't need to cry. I > > > will be > > > > happy to move but I need you to ask. > > > > > > > > Child: please move. > > > > > > > > Tami: I would love to move but I am too selfish... No NO I dint say > > > that. > > > > I said: ok, I am moving. Thank you for asking. > > > > > > > > > > > > After a while, I was sitting at the sofa with my legs on the carpet. > > > > He was playing with some cars on the carpet and than he came to > me and > > > > started to cry cause I had one leg on one of the houses on the > > > carpet. He > > > > cried that was his old way to tell me: move. > > > > > > > > Again, I did the same thing. Told him that when he cries I don't > > > understand. > > > > After a long battle he did ask me nicely to move. > > > > > > > > Tami: I really want to please but I cannot. > > > > I am sitting on this sofa and I have no place to put my legs other > > > than this > > > > house. > > > > You can play with other houses if you want > > > > > > > > Child: crying > > > > > > > > Tami: you want me to move (child: yes) I understand. You Are mad? > > > (child: > > > > yes). > > > > Well honey, it is ok to cry, and it is ok to be mad. I understand > > you > > > > > > > > Child: crying > > > > > > > > Tami: do you have any suggestion where I should put my legs? > > > > > > > > Child: crying > > > > > > > > Tami: I understand, it is very painful not to get what you want. > > > > > > > > > > > > After a while he calmed down > > > > > > > > Than he found another thing to cry about. And he did a lot of noise > > > crying. > > > > > > > > I said to my friend. If I was his mom, I know what I will do. > > > > I will ask him to stop crying cause I need some quiet around here, > > > and if he > > > > feels that he wants to cry > > > > I cannot control his behavior so I would just put him in the > > > Bathroom and > > > > close the door, and explain him why I do it, not as a punishment but > > > because > > > > I need quiet. > > > > So she did it. He was crying there and I told her that he needs to > > > cry and > > > > it is ok. And every once in a while she can ask him if he is willing > > > to be > > > > quiet so she would let him out. > > > > It worked, he went out and was quiet. > > > > > > > > Basically what I told her that she should learn him how to > > > communicate: ask > > > > for what he wants and not cry for it. > > > > By only responding to a clear request and not communicate wit him > > > while he > > > > cries (manipulation). > > > > > > > > Second, she can teach him that he is not the only person in the > > > world, his > > > > mom has needs too for example she need quiet and when he makes to > > > much noise > > > > it is ok, but he will do it in the bathroom and he can always > > > choose to go > > > > out by obeying her rules. > > > > > > > > That was lesson one, I gave her > > > > And I learn it from . > > > > > > > > Any responses? > > > > > > > > T > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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