Guest guest Posted September 25, 1999 Report Share Posted September 25, 1999 I'm sure we can all relate to one or 2 of these warnings... Due to increasing products liability litigation, alcohol manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all alcohol containers: WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wandering what the hell happened to your trousers. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can converse logically with members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species or name you can't remember). WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Franz. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe fat ugly people are slim and attractive. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time- space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time seem to literally disappear. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.