(No subject)

[Guest guest]

> > hey mary, i hope (oh well, hope is for kids) it's ok, if i pop in

> > here, it's just i would like to drop in my two cents to what you

> > have written.

*** dear catherine.

> ***Hi Rose ~

>

> This subject of suicide makes me think of hearing kt say that when

> she hears about someone commiting suicide, she gets kind of, what

> she would call, excited for them. 'cause she knows how painful an

> unquestioned mind is. Some people find a way 'out' thru the work,

> some thru meditation, drugs, etc., and some thru suicide.

*** yep. i know.

In our

> story, some choices are better than others, 'higher' lets say. Can

> I really know that things havent happened EXACTLY as they were meant

> to happen?

*** some circumstances are (i experience as) more dramatic than

others. as i have shared a little bit, i was out of balance like our

friend, myself, years ago. i know how terrible, painful and extreme it

was, and i know how my family has suffered due to this. i am clear

that no two things are the same. i am most of the time a very happy

person today. that was not the way of/for our friend.

life it what it is.

all my days are so unpredictably that i tend to say, it's not at all

me who is living my life, but life is lived through my physical

appearance. inclusive all this pondering and wondering.

maybe i am just writing bla bla.

> I am not where kt appears to be with this, and I dont

> pretend to be. However, I do see her as clear and what she says

> reasonates with something inside of me that feels true.

*** me too. (but i haven't read all of her.)

> All of the

> horrible, sad, terrifying stories we have about death don't ring as

> true for me as they once did.

*** i always experienced death as friendly. when i was out of balance

that suddenly changed and i was afraid for i was like hypnoticed that

i had done all and everything wrong in my life and i imagined worst

scenarios of getting punished after dying. that was extremly awful. i

was a volunteer in a hospice (before i was out of balance), i remember

a few talks with people about their upcoming death. then i had no fear

of death. today - i just don't know. i will see when it's time to.

> We can't save each other (and when I

> am in the presence of an expressed 'need' I can choose to meet it if

> I am able to ~ that feels good and kind to me)

*** me too.

....my partner's

> brother shot himself, and I see he did what he needed to do for

> himself. I see him as free ~ and yes, this is my story and it feels

> balanced, peaceful and kind to me.

*** sounds fine.

> If I still wished it had

> happened differently, I see that I would have to change all that is,

> all of history....I tried that for many years, I prefer now to see

> things as unfolding as they are meant to (when I do).

*** yes i agree. i can't know what is/was best for my friend. i just

know that what happened has happend. i can live with it, without

resisting. when i say we sometimes miss his uniqueness, i mean for

example the moments when we sat together with food, candlelight and

lot's of laughter. there were so many very relaxed moments, compared

to the encounters with the ones i know also, it was " most relaxed " .

but, alltogether - it's ok. that with others it is not so relaxed, and

also that he is not here in physical form anylonger.

>

> Anyway, thank you for this topic. I appreciate it.

*** thank you for responding.

> Cheers,

>

love r

> >

> > love, rose.