Re: stupid things people say...

[Guest guest]

ahh, yes, the stupid things people say part of the program!

These come from my own mother, who, as she likes to put it,

is " strong as an ox, comes from hardy stock people, and never had

time to 'give in' to every little sniff and sneeze that came down

the road, if this thing is heredetary, I MUST have gotten it from my

father's side of the family, because it sure didn't come from HER "

Some of hers:

(after my first trip to the rheumatologist once I'd been diagnosed):

" Well, now that's all settled and done with,you can get back to

normal again "

" When do you get to stop going to that doctor downtown? " (as this is

an all day trip for me since I have to arrange a ride there, pay for

lunch for the person who took me, which I don't mind doing, and then

the ride back, followed by a nap once I get home since just that

little bit always wears me out-and that's only the half of it unless

he orders bloodwork and other tests at the hospital next door.)

" You know, you always did give into all your little ailments way too

easily-I think you just liked all the attention you got "

" You know, you'll never get rid of this thing until you make up your

own mind to fight it off "

Keep in mind that this was a woman who, while at the mall watching a

local fashion show where one of the models was a little girl with

cerebral palsy, said loud enough for people nearby to hear, " oh!

look at that poor little girl there! How can her parents let her

walk pigeon-toed like that? It would be so easy to fix her feet if

only they'd put her into ballet lessons, and ICE SKATING lessons!

Something needs to be done about her crooked feet, look! she can't

even walk the right way.... "

She would have kept ranting on like that, but I leaned forward and

told her to shut up because the little girl had cerebral palsy, and

besides that, she HEARD her.

You think she would have been chagrined? No! All she said was " oh,

well I didn't know, after all, they put her in something that

usually only normal little girls get involved in, they should have

known people would have expressed their reactions, so they should

have kept her at home. "

I'm so glad I never had a sibling confined to a wheelchair, I can

hear it now, " you know you COULD get by without that chair, if you

put your mind to it, you could walk if you REALLY wanted to! "

[Guest guest]

What a joy it is to be able to talk to people online who actually understand

each other.

I am amazed you can put up with your mother! I feel I would keep right away

from her as she is so insensitive. My parents had both died before I got so

bad, but my sons are very sympathetic, as is my closest friend. A neighbour

once accosted me as I walked on sticks to the car.. she told me if I pulled

myself together I would be ok!

Anyway, here we know everyone understands.. and that is great:)

Penny

Shrewsbury UK

Re: stupid things people say...

ahh, yes, the stupid things people say part of the program!

These come from my own mother, who, as she likes to put it,

is " strong as an ox, comes from hardy stock people, and never had

time to 'give in' to every little sniff and sneeze that came down

the road, if this thing is heredetary, I MUST have gotten it from my

father's side of the family, because it sure didn't come from HER "

[Guest guest]

You poor thing, I am lucky to have a supportive mate, but my mother

suffered with migraines for 10 years before finally finding a cure.I now

live in the same town with her, and we talk or see each other every day.She

says suffering with the migraines made her much more sympathetic to other

disorders people suffer with...especially the kind not readily apparent to

the naked eye!She has always been an ear to listen, and a shoulder to cry

on.On the other hand, I had a mother in law who finally figured out

something was really wrong with me after ten years of my suffering!

Melodie

Re: stupid things people say...

> ahh, yes, the stupid things people say part of the program!

>

> These come from my own mother, who, as she likes to put it,

> is " strong as an ox, comes from hardy stock people, and never had

> time to 'give in' to every little sniff and sneeze that came down

> the road, if this thing is heredetary, I MUST have gotten it from my

> father's side of the family, because it sure didn't come from HER "

>

> Some of hers:

>

> (after my first trip to the rheumatologist once I'd been diagnosed):

> " Well, now that's all settled and done with,you can get back to

> normal again "

>

> " When do you get to stop going to that doctor downtown? " (as this is

> an all day trip for me since I have to arrange a ride there, pay for

> lunch for the person who took me, which I don't mind doing, and then

> the ride back, followed by a nap once I get home since just that

> little bit always wears me out-and that's only the half of it unless

> he orders bloodwork and other tests at the hospital next door.)

>

> " You know, you always did give into all your little ailments way too

> easily-I think you just liked all the attention you got "

>

> " You know, you'll never get rid of this thing until you make up your

> own mind to fight it off "

>

> Keep in mind that this was a woman who, while at the mall watching a

> local fashion show where one of the models was a little girl with

> cerebral palsy, said loud enough for people nearby to hear, " oh!

> look at that poor little girl there! How can her parents let her

> walk pigeon-toed like that? It would be so easy to fix her feet if

> only they'd put her into ballet lessons, and ICE SKATING lessons!

> Something needs to be done about her crooked feet, look! she can't

> even walk the right way.... "

> She would have kept ranting on like that, but I leaned forward and

> told her to shut up because the little girl had cerebral palsy, and

> besides that, she HEARD her.

> You think she would have been chagrined? No! All she said was " oh,

> well I didn't know, after all, they put her in something that

> usually only normal little girls get involved in, they should have

> known people would have expressed their reactions, so they should

> have kept her at home. "

>

> I'm so glad I never had a sibling confined to a wheelchair, I can

> hear it now, " you know you COULD get by without that chair, if you

> put your mind to it, you could walk if you REALLY wanted to! "

>

>

>

>

>

>

> 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the

list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with

your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as

well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

>

> 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls

don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make

that situation better.

>

>

> Have a nice day everyone.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kay,

When people do say that to me I don't let them get by with it.

Depending on how I'm feeling at that particular time I either

patiently explain for the umpteenth time just exactly what fibro is

and how it effects us...or...I let fly with both barrels. hehehe!!!

Today is a " let fly " day......tons of pain, fatigue, muscle spasms

(will someone PLEASE get this railroad spike out of my hip???!!!)

and depression.

Blessings all,

Pixi

>

> Pixi,

> I have not had anyone say, " fibromyalgia...isn't that the disease

people get

> when they want to sit home and collect disability? "

> I don't doubt for a minute that people say it...I don't know how I

would

> react if someone said it to me...I would definitely be furious and

I doubt if I

> could shrug it off...especially on a day when I am not feeling

good.

> We should all get together and write a book about what STUPID

people say to

> sick people!!!

> Kay

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

nonnieJo,

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that your Mom is like that. My Mom is bad, but I don

t think quite that bad. She does think that I need to just get on with my

life though like I can do anything about what is happening to my body.

Oh well, we just need to consider that they just " don't get it. "

gentle hugs,

Sundra

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall

[Guest guest]

Wow!!!! Margaret!!!! TERRIFIC ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love,

Cam

Re: Re: stupid things people say...

In a message dated 7/4/2004 1:10:17 AM Central Daylight Time,

lilacskyz@... writes:

Ive heard from two christian friends. The first one told me its

demonic.

The second one tells me Dont be claiming you have fibromyalgia you give

the devil a foothold.

So I guess denial is better ???

I dont get it.

Lord have mercy...i am speechless....bless your sweet heart,hon....i told my

husband,he is still shaking his head,and saying,WHAT??? ((((hugs)))) carmen

[Guest guest]

Please remember Sundra, the majority of thinking Christians are not at all

like the idiots that talked to Deb. I'm a Presbyterian and we would NEVER say

something like that to anyone.....whatever the circumstances. I am a Bible

teacher and that just isn't what Jesus was all about. Hugs, Camilla

Re: Re: stupid things people say...

Ive heard from two christian friends. The first one told me its

demonic.

The second one tells me Dont be claiming you have fibromyalgia you give

the devil a foothold.

So I guess denial is better ???

I dont get it.

[Guest guest]

I really didn't have to stress over that for too long actually, as

mom is fully in the throes of taking care of her elderly parents.

She doesn't have the time or the energy to devote herself

to " fixing " what's wrong with me.

when she does call, we're able to have a decent conversation

actually, and when it starts to get " hairy " , I tell her I have to go

do something/call someone else/fix dinner/etc.

I think she's pretty much resigned to the fact that her words are

not going to intimidate me into getting better. She, because of the

current situation, is also finally realizing that you can't make

things better just because you want it that way. Before she took

over caregiving, her siblings took turns visiting the grandparents.

Mom always complained that they weren't doing it " right " , and that

she could do better. Well, now it's her turn, and she's realizing

that, in this case anyway, she can't put her money where her mouth

is. True, she's working twice as hard as any of them ever did, but

it's still not making any difference. the others realized it, but

she hasn't yet.

> I'm so stricken by your post that I can hardly write back. Your

poor mom...and I say that meaning every word. Someone who is that

insensitive surely has a hard time in life. I'm sad that she

doesn't understand you. Is there any way you can set boundaries and

just tell her if she insists on being so insensitive that you would

rather not spend time with her??? Yes, I know that sounds pretty

harsh, but I think it would take a bulldozer to get into her

mind. You have a right to be treated with respect and love.....she

does NOT have the right to criticize you. I apologize if I have

been too blunt. I mean no disrespect. I'm on your side!!!!!

Hugs, Camilla p.s. My mother in law was the same way.....did not

recognize illness. She and the FIL were quite a pair. I finally

refused to see them...I was treated so badly. Boy, did they

come around after that. I really felt quite good.....even though I

didn't like them. But they treated me with respect and I did the

same to them.

> Re: stupid things people

say...

>

>

> ahh, yes, the stupid things people say part of the program!

>

> These come from my own mother, who, as she likes to put it,

> is " strong as an ox, comes from hardy stock people, and never

had

> time to 'give in' to every little sniff and sneeze that came

down

> the road, if this thing is heredetary, I MUST have gotten it

from my

> father's side of the family, because it sure didn't come from

HER "

>

> Some of hers:

>

> (after my first trip to the rheumatologist once I'd been

diagnosed):

> " Well, now that's all settled and done with,you can get back to

> normal again "

>

> " When do you get to stop going to that doctor downtown? " (as

this is

> an all day trip for me since I have to arrange a ride there, pay

for

> lunch for the person who took me, which I don't mind doing, and

then

> the ride back, followed by a nap once I get home since just that

> little bit always wears me out-and that's only the half of it

unless

> he orders bloodwork and other tests at the hospital next door.)

>

> " You know, you always did give into all your little ailments way

too

> easily-I think you just liked all the attention you got "

>

> " You know, you'll never get rid of this thing until you make up

your

> own mind to fight it off "

>

> Keep in mind that this was a woman who, while at the mall

watching a

> local fashion show where one of the models was a little girl

with

> cerebral palsy, said loud enough for people nearby to hear, " oh!

> look at that poor little girl there! How can her parents let

her

> walk pigeon-toed like that? It would be so easy to fix her feet

if

> only they'd put her into ballet lessons, and ICE SKATING

lessons!

> Something needs to be done about her crooked feet, look! she

can't

> even walk the right way.... "

> She would have kept ranting on like that, but I leaned forward

and

> told her to shut up because the little girl had cerebral palsy,

and

> besides that, she HEARD her.

> You think she would have been chagrined? No! All she said

was " oh,

> well I didn't know, after all, they put her in something that

> usually only normal little girls get involved in, they should

have

> known people would have expressed their reactions, so they

should

> have kept her at home. "

>

> I'm so glad I never had a sibling confined to a wheelchair, I

can

> hear it now, " you know you COULD get by without that chair, if

you

> put your mind to it, you could walk if you REALLY wanted to! "

>

>

>

>

>

> 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone

on the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls

always check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given

along with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or

just dangerous in general.

>

> 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it

is) pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to

trying to make that situation better.

>

>

> Have a nice day everyone.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yea you are right

Hugs Deb

--- wrote:

---------------------------------

Personally, I don't think they mean well but were trying to exert

some power or control over your feelings/emotions. You know how you

feel, they don't. Don't listen to those who dismiss your pain. There

is no demon except in their fears.

)

> ---------------------------------

> In a message dated 7/4/2004 1:10:17 AM Central Daylight Time,

> lilacskyz@y... writes:

> Ive heard from two christian friends. The first one told me its

> demonic.

> The second one tells me Dont be claiming you have fibromyalgia you

give the devil a foothold.

> So I guess denial is better ???

> I dont get it.

> Lord have mercy...i am speechless....bless your sweet heart,hon....i

> told my

> husband,he is still shaking his head,and saying,WHAT??? ((((hugs))))

> carmen

> Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the

list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check

with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along with

other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just dangerous in

general.

2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls

don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to

make that situation better.

Have a nice day everyone.