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1. Who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you,

and why? What is it about them that you don't like?

I am dissapointed and angry at my mother because she is so cold,

selfish and childish.

Is it true? Yes.

Can you absolutely know it´s true? No.

How do you react when you believe this thought? I feel angry,

dissapointed, frustrated, my stomach hurts, my whole body get tense.

I criticize her a lot. I make a big distance between us. I feel

scornful. I treat her like someone who doesn´t know anything. I

don´t trust her.

Who would you be without this thought? Then I would feel love. I

would be kind and gentle with my mother. I would feel a whole lot

more peaceful inside.

TA: My mother is so cold, selfish and childish

My mother is not cold, selfish and childish. 3 ways that is truer:

She says she loves me every day. She gives us money every now and

day. She was very grown-up when her husband died and she sold her

apartment and moved to my city.

I am cold, selfish and childish. Yes I am cold towards my mom. I

often make fun of her and feel scornful. I am very selfish when I

want her money, and can´t be happy for her new things. Childish yes.

I have a childfeeling that she is my mother and therefore owe me

certain things.

2. How do you want her to change? What do you want

her to do?

I want her to be a mature, stabil and reliable grown-up.

Is it true? No, I just want peace and be ok with other people no

matter what they do or how they appear.

How do you react when you belive this thought? I am really angry at

her for not being the one I want her to be. I feel insecure around

her. Sometimes I starts fights with her and feel a lot of scorn by

the way she reacts. I feel so frustrated that she never change.

Who would you be without this thought? Love her just the way she is.

Have fun with her. Feeling warmth and joy. I would stay in my own

business and let her live her life without interferring. I would´t

try to change her. It would be very peaceful.

TA: I want her to be a mature, stabil and reliable grown-up.

I don´t want her to be a mature, stabil and reliable grown-up. This

is truer. All i want is peace inside.

I want me to be a mature, stabil and reliable grown-up. Very true.

There are many times I´m not acting mature, stabil and reliable.

Especially around my mother.

3. What is it that she should or shouldn't do, be, think,

or feel? What advice could you offer?

She shouldn´t spend all her money so recklessly.

Is it true? No. She spend her money. Recklessly is just my label on

it. And how she spend her money is none of my business.

How do you react when you belive this thought? I worry. I get angry.

I start to lecture and question her decisions. I think she is

totally irrisponsible and that makes me furious.

Who would you be without this thought? Very peaceful and in my own

business. Happy for her. I would be able to share her joy.

TA: She shouldn´t spend all her money so recklessly.

She should spend all her money so recklessly. Absolutely. She should

spend all the money she wants, which is exactly what she does.

I shouldn´t spend all my money so recklessly. True. I buy clothes

and dvd:s and books when we really can´t afford it. I couldn´t stop

myself, and i see now that she is just the same.

She should give more money to me.

Is it true? No. She has given me the exact perfect amount of money

in reality.

How do you react when you believe this thought? I don´t wish her

anything good, I want it all for me. When I see all the things she

buys for herself, I feel like a child who didn´t get any coocies

when all the other children got. It makes me feel sad and worried to

be without.

Who would you be without this thought? It would be such a relief. I

would be happy and carefree and peaceful.

TA: She should give more money to me.

She shouldn´t give more money to me. That is absolutely true.

Reality is very clear here.

I should give more money to her. This one just never occured to me

until now. I never give her any money. I just take for granted that

she should give me.

I should give me more money. Well, I am the one who wants money so I

am the one who should start working and buy less things.

4. Do you need anything from her? What does she

need to do in order for you to be happy?

I need my mothers unconditional love. Is it true? No, I´m doing

fine witout it. And I can´t be sure what she feels anyway.

How do you react when you believe this thought? I think she is a bad

mother. I think she owe me unconditional love and when I don´t get

it, I get so angry and dissapointed. And somehow, whatever she does

isn´t enough. I just want to change her whole appearence. I feel

deprieved of her love.

Who would you be without this thought? I would see that my mother is

a good enough mother and that she loves me. And that would be enough

for me. I would feel satisfied and warm.

TA: I need my mothers unconditional love.

I don´t need my mothers unconditional love. Truer. It´s just when I

think I need it that I suffer.

My mother needs my unconditional love. Well, this is where I should

start. I don´t love her unconditionally. Maybe it is just as hard

for her as it is for me? And when I love her unconditionally I don´t

think I care if she even loves me at all.

I need my own unconditional love. Yes. I don´t have it so I seek it

in others. And it hurts. This is the most important TA for me.

5. What do you think of her? Make a list.

She is mentally unstabil, impulsive, childish, weak, dependent.

TA: I am mentally unstabil. Yes, 2 years ago I was psykotic for a

short period. So yes, I can certainly be unstabil.

I am impulsive. Oh yes. I want what I want and I want it now!

Patient isn´t my strongest side.

I am childish. Yes, and especially in the way I have been treated my

mother.

I am weak. Yes that happens.

I am dependent. Yeah tell me about it! I am dependent in coffee,

cigg, Hans, pills...

6. What is it that you don't want to experience with

that person again?

I don't ever want to listen to my mother talking about all the

things she has bought when I barely have money for food.

TA: I look forward to listen to my mother talking about all the

things she has bought when I barely have money for food. And if it

still hurts I know I am just 4 questions away from freedom.

Thank you for listening and feel free to respond.

God´s speed and stay out of harms way;)