Wondering aloud and wandering about....Doers and Not-Doers

[Guest guest]

I suppose I should probably save this till tomorrow and try to edit

for clarity, but my doer doesn't want to, LOL.

I " m trying to sort of puzzle something out, so that it feels right to

me. It has to do with this idea that we're not the doer. I can't

decide if that is a comforting or disturbing thought. Both, perhaps.

And it also has to do with how I'm trying to assimilate the work into

my life, and what it means to my life. And I can't help all this

puzzling, it seems to just be what I do, LOL. But the answer has to

feel right in my gut. (there's " an answer " ?) And then, more idly I'm

wondering why does what she does,if none of us are the doers.

And if we're not, would we have found/embraced the work if it wasn't

out there in the world for us to find? Would we have found the " next

best thing " ? Personally, I have wandered through various areas of

psychology and spirituality for many years, and yet the work is the

one that really seems to resonate for the last year. And yet

sometimes it just bothers me--probably when I " m looking at it too

much with the intellect and not enough with the heart (because other

times it seems very simple and peaceful).

Anyway, I was thinking about the work, and how we are all here in

this forum because we're drawn to it for whatever reason, and we do

or don't do our worksheets, perhaps because our organism, mind,

heart, whatever has the impulse toward action of some kind, and then

we say we're doing it. OK, some of that feels right to me, in my gut

or heart, that I will just find myself doing something. And I THINK

sometimes this is reassuring, because it can take away a lot of

painful self-judgment (and also some self-pride). But it still feels

like there's some choice. Like -- I'm KIND OF the doer (??)

Whatever it is that makes me want to learn about the work and do the

work, I can feel THAT as just being part of my makeup, not really

under my control. I've always been drawn towards asking some of

the " big questions " about life, interested in hearing other people's

answers, and it seems like many of us here feel that way, too. As

well, there is that common human impulse to learn a way to avoid pain

and unhappinness...another reason why we like the work -- or why I

do, anyway.

So if I was stranded on a desert island, and there was one person

there who had SOME sort of philospy or psychology of life, I " m sure

I " d be drawn to that person (rather than leaving them alone on their

side of the island) so that we could converse on these ways of

understanding ourselves, life, our universe...But the conservative

fundamentalist I might be interested to talk if her or she was the

only other inhabitant, but I would like to just talk to them and

think about what they say, but there'd be no " click. "

So then if there were three other people, let's say, with three

differing philophies, maybe a Buddhist, and a fundamentalist

Christian, and .... um, a cognitve therapist, I know I would be drawn

more to one over the others. Someone's philospy I might just find

intersting to discuss during our long days on the island, but another

belief system I want to embrace.

So I can imagine which one I'm drawn to is really not my choice, not

my doing. There's an innate impulse in me drawn to a certain TYPE of

worldview. (no fire and brimstone for me). And I know (can't really

know but bear with me) if were there, she would be the one I

was drawn to most of all. But how does one of these philosphies

really stick?

OK, and the other thing I wondering. Why does go out and spread

the work to a vast number of people? Just wondering, not being in her

business particularly ;-) Obviously she works very hard at it. If

she's not the doer, then she just can't help herself, right? But

doesn't she (or someone like her )feel like she can REACH someone out

there? Like she can motivate them or draw them or attract them in

some way? And if we're not the doer, we will respond or not respond

We have nothing to do with that?. If only a certain number of people

will find themselves drawn to it, working with it, dedicating

themselves to it for at least a time, and some for life...is it a

numbers kind of thing? Certain people who happen to cross paths with

or the work just need to have the right...attraction? impulse?

when this certain worldview comes along?

I guess what I " m thinking is that I " m not the doer as far as what I " m

attracted to as a philosophy, what happens if just stayed at

home doing her own thing and none of us had ever heard of her? It

seems like a lot of us are still " seekers " of some kind. So if the

work wasn't around, we find ACIM or buddhism or something else?

I feel like the attraction is something that I don't control, but

there still is a " I like this " / " don't like this & I'm going to keep

looking " feeling where I AM the doer/chooser. I seem to find this

idea reassuring.

/end of pondering

Want to do something fun now... Lite? Pictionary?