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Re: Black Hole Tami

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>

>

> Are you saying that has better credibility than Tami, is that

> your point?

>

> My personal point boils down to this: Both and Tami have the

> same story in my eyes, equal credibility to move the work.

> doesn't have a 'better grasp on reality' than Tami. I completely

> understand if that's your story, because that was mine before, too.

>

My 2 cents :)

This is a wonderful example of level confusion. Yes, from the

perspective of God, Tami and have equal credibility.

However, from where we are in the dream has a far better grasp

on reality than Tami. The fact that discovered the Work, has

written several books about it and conducts schools to teach it,

would seem to indicate to me that her grasp on reality is fairly

good. Can the same be said of Tami? No, I don't think so. In the

dream there seems to me to be different levels of sleepiness. Most

normal people are quite asleep. A few who study spiritual texts may

be slowly awakening. Then there are the very few like or Jesus

who have fully awakened, and now appear in the dream to help us

awaken.

The distinction between and Tami does not exist in ultimate

reality, but in the dream there are levels of awakening which cannot

be discounted. is very much " awake " in the dream as evidenced

by her speech and conduct, Tami on the other hand seems to be quite

asleep given her current speech and behaviour. Sure she may have

moments of clarity as do we all, but overall she is mostly asleep!

Have a beautiful day :)

" So, I say, question what you believe and love where you're at.

There's nothing to fear but what we believe. " Byron

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My ego is saying this has turned into quite an excellent topic. Lots more depth

and insights to it than I could have imagined.

Thanks for your input. Very valuable.

Vivian

Re: Black Hole Tami

>

>

> Are you saying that has better credibility than Tami, is that

> your point?

>

> My personal point boils down to this: Both and Tami have the

> same story in my eyes, equal credibility to move the work.

> doesn't have a 'better grasp on reality' than Tami. I completely

> understand if that's your story, because that was mine before, too.

>

My 2 cents :)

This is a wonderful example of level confusion. Yes, from the

perspective of God, Tami and have equal credibility.

However, from where we are in the dream has a far better grasp

on reality than Tami. The fact that discovered the Work, has

written several books about it and conducts schools to teach it,

would seem to indicate to me that her grasp on reality is fairly

good. Can the same be said of Tami? No, I don't think so. In the

dream there seems to me to be different levels of sleepiness. Most

normal people are quite asleep. A few who study spiritual texts may

be slowly awakening. Then there are the very few like or Jesus

who have fully awakened, and now appear in the dream to help us

awaken.

The distinction between and Tami does not exist in ultimate

reality, but in the dream there are levels of awakening which cannot

be discounted. is very much " awake " in the dream as evidenced

by her speech and conduct, Tami on the other hand seems to be quite

asleep given her current speech and behaviour. Sure she may have

moments of clarity as do we all, but overall she is mostly asleep!

Have a beautiful day :)

" So, I say, question what you believe and love where you're at.

There's nothing to fear but what we believe. " Byron

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tami.. i will join your fan club..

but i know you would prefer lovethework.

oh well.. take what you can get, me.

love, roslyn

> >

> >

>

> >

> > In amongst all the provocation in her posts, I find Tami's grasp on

> reality

> > quite good!

> >

>

> Really? All of the people I've encountered who seem to have a good

> grasp on reality, as you put it, don't seem to spend their time

> intentionally attempting to provoke anyone else. They seem to care

> very deeply about other's (even though they may realise it is not their

> actions that cause's another harm, or that ultimately all is well),

> they are deeply compassionate, they serve with the intention of

> kindness. You may be amused by Tami, or not bothered by her in the

> least...a good grasp on reality though? She does indeed occassionally

> have clarity and has access to the same wisdom that we all have within,

> and when she chooses to come from that place we all benefit from it.

> However, anyone who disregards others feelings, spends their time

> intentionally attempting to provoke in order to amuse themselves,

> suffers from bouts of depression, is occupied by the attempt to

> manipulate and needs to express their sexuality in as juvenile a manner

> as Tami, wouldnt appear to me to have a good grasp on reality...

>

> Look at 's behaviour as an example of someone with a good grasp

> and compare it to Tami's....for me it's that simple.

>

> Yes, amazing how different our stories can be.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Hey love

Don't push me, the rope became a snake again

You are so arogant!

Ok, I cannot change you

This thought of you brings me stress

Love is arogant

Can I know that for sure?

NO, maybe he is just caught up in his point of view

And since he cannot see things in all colours only in back or white

He wants me to be happy according to his limited point of view

So he is just being mind narrow

Which it is a story too, but not stressful so I will keep it

And he is such a loving and caring person to

Write back to me and share with me his point of view

Love / rope

I love you again

No one can take you away from me

T

-- Re: Black Hole Tami

>

> As long as there are those of us willing to be bridges, then I don't

> see a reason to remove someone such as Tami. She, on this board, can

> be the perfect exercise to practice the work for many instead of

> just discussing it.

>

Hi Hypegia,

As mentioned we are not trying to have Tami removed, she is

perfect even in her confusion.

I respond to her posts here, primarily to correct her

misinterpretations and misapplications of the Work. From reading her

posts it would seem that the Work can be used to justify adultery,

rudeness, crudeness, vulgarity and the list goes on. She offends and

distresses others, then defends her actions by saying that they need

to question their own thinking. Or she may revert to the ultimate

defence by asking others to stay in their own business. Nice little

twist because that gives her free reign to go on offending and

upsetting others. She never seems to stop to realize that if love has

the slightest hint that it has hurt or offended anyone it stops

immediately, even though it is well aware that the only thing that

can really hurt another is their story.

I have no problem with Tami being Tami, she is caught in her stories

as we all are. She only evokes a response from me when she tries to

justify being Tami by misinterpreting and misapplying the insights

gained from the Work. The Work does indeed lead to total freedom in

our thoughts, but that does not translate to total freedom in the

world.

Have a beautiful day :)

" Love is what you are already. Love doesn't seek anything. It's

already complete. It doesn't want, doesn't need, has no shoulds. It

already has everything it wants, it already is everything it wants,

just the way it wants it. So when I hear people say that they love

someone and want to be loved in return, I know they're not talking

about love. They're talking about something else. " Byron

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Hello! Now I am 2 cents richer. :)

I can see your points. Initially, when someone is starting the work, a

person like can get through the dream and facilitate a person

possibly more effectively than someone like Tami. does not have

her own negative stories to contend with while helping someone through

theirs. Gotcha.

I started contemplating this concept of levels of awakening, also.

Babies to the work do need a gentler hand or else they can be scared

straight back into their dream (hence the sturdier structure of B.K.'s

school to stay on task for everybody's sake). However, those of us who

raise children know that many times just the calm presence of the

parent in a stressful situation shows the child that there is nothing

to fear. Our calmness (and joy) in the presence of those like Tami who

evoke outrage in others can show those people that there is nothing to

to be outraged about. Maybe they don't get it in the present moment

and wish to discuss their displeasure, but I can attempt to be as the

'bridge' from their displeasure towards their joy in regards to her.

As long as there are those of us willing to be bridges, then I don't

see a reason to remove someone such as Tami. She, on this board, can

be the perfect exercise to practice the work for many instead of just

discussing it.

Crap. Now that I'm thinking about using a gentler hand and assisting

others through their struggles, I realize that I may have been too

abrasive yesterday towards someone in my life. Wish I could redo that.

Oh well, chalk it up to experience. I will 'redo' it as a new

opportunity arises.

xoxo

> >

> >

> > Are you saying that has better credibility than Tami, is that

> > your point?

> >

> > My personal point boils down to this: Both and Tami have the

> > same story in my eyes, equal credibility to move the work.

> > doesn't have a 'better grasp on reality' than Tami. I completely

> > understand if that's your story, because that was mine before, too.

> >

>

> My 2 cents :)

>

> This is a wonderful example of level confusion. Yes, from the

> perspective of God, Tami and have equal credibility.

>

> However, from where we are in the dream has a far better grasp

> on reality than Tami. The fact that discovered the Work, has

> written several books about it and conducts schools to teach it,

> would seem to indicate to me that her grasp on reality is fairly

> good. Can the same be said of Tami? No, I don't think so. In the

> dream there seems to me to be different levels of sleepiness. Most

> normal people are quite asleep. A few who study spiritual texts may

> be slowly awakening. Then there are the very few like or Jesus

> who have fully awakened, and now appear in the dream to help us

> awaken.

>

> The distinction between and Tami does not exist in ultimate

> reality, but in the dream there are levels of awakening which cannot

> be discounted. is very much " awake " in the dream as evidenced

> by her speech and conduct, Tami on the other hand seems to be quite

> asleep given her current speech and behaviour. Sure she may have

> moments of clarity as do we all, but overall she is mostly asleep!

>

> Have a beautiful day :)

>

>

> " So, I say, question what you believe and love where you're at.

> There's nothing to fear but what we believe. " Byron

>

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>

> " She does indeed occassionally

> have clarity and has access to the same wisdom that we all have

within,

> and when she chooses to come from that place we all benefit from it.

> However, anyone who disregards others feelings, spends their time

> intentionally attempting to provoke in order to amuse themselves,

> suffers from bouts of depression, is occupied by the attempt to

> manipulate and needs to express their sexuality in as juvenile a

manner

> as Tami, wouldnt appear to me to have a good grasp on reality...

> Look at 's behaviour as an example of someone with a good grasp

> and compare it to Tami's....for me it's that simple. "

>

> Are you saying that has better credibility than Tami, is that

> your point?

***Absolutely not. That would be you. I am simply noticing that I

see a difference btwn the behaviour of and Tami. I am not

saying that one is better, or higher, or more credible. I was simply

expressing my story that is an example to me of someone who has

a good grasp on reality...and Tami is not. I see a difference in the

way that they respond to people, I do not see a difference in their

value in the large scheme of things. Tami is as much God as

...I just see as awake, compassionate, and 'undone'. And,

I make reference to since this group uses LWI and the work as a

basis for its origins and discussions.

>

> My personal point boils down to this: Both and Tami have the

> same story in my eyes, equal credibility to move the work.

> doesn't have a 'better grasp on reality' than Tami. I completely

> understand if that's your story, because that was mine before, too.

***This is interesting. I really have no idea about anyone

else's 'grasp on reality'. I only tell the story of what I am drawn

to. And yes, ultimately, it is all here to 'wake me up' and Tami's

behaviour may prompt that as much as 's.

>

> Yes, they are both perfect: perfectly the same. They are both

> perfectly me and my interpretation of reality. If one doesn't have a

> 'better grasp on reality' then that means through that individual

that

> I'm the one that doesn't have the better grasp on reality to see

them

> with clarity, and I would 'disregards their feelings, spend my time

> intentionally attempting to provoke in order to amuse myself,

> suffers from bouts of depression, be occupied by the attempt to

> manipulate and need to express sensitive topics in as juvenile a

> manner as I could.' Just because I might restrain my actions better

> than Tami doesn't mean I restrain the desire to do those things to

> someone I don't have a great grasp of reality on.

**Okay. I can't follow your meaning on what you have written above.

>

> I think I should start a group on you, because that zinger up there

> makes feel out of grasp with reality.

>

> Bahaha.

**Again, I don't understand the above statement. I dont have the

belief that Tami is 'less' than , and sometimes I feel that this

is misunderstood. Occassionally, I express my views concerning some

of Tami's posts, and I find it amusing how strong the reactions often

are to those views. I love it that Tami is here, and I loved it when

she wasnt.

>

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> > >

> > >

> > > Are you saying that has better credibility than Tami, is

that

> > > your point?

> > >

> > > My personal point boils down to this: Both and Tami have

the

> > > same story in my eyes, equal credibility to move the work.

> > > doesn't have a 'better grasp on reality' than Tami. I completely

> > > understand if that's your story, because that was mine before,

too.

> > >

> >

> > My 2 cents :)

> >

> > This is a wonderful example of level confusion. Yes, from the

> > perspective of God, Tami and have equal credibility.

> >

> > However, from where we are in the dream has a far better

grasp

> > on reality than Tami. The fact that discovered the Work,

has

> > written several books about it and conducts schools to teach it,

> > would seem to indicate to me that her grasp on reality is fairly

> > good. Can the same be said of Tami? No, I don't think so. In the

> > dream there seems to me to be different levels of sleepiness.

Most

> > normal people are quite asleep. A few who study spiritual texts

may

> > be slowly awakening. Then there are the very few like or

Jesus

> > who have fully awakened, and now appear in the dream to help us

> > awaken.

> >

> > The distinction between and Tami does not exist in ultimate

> > reality, but in the dream there are levels of awakening which

cannot

> > be discounted. is very much " awake " in the dream as

evidenced

> > by her speech and conduct, Tami on the other hand seems to be

quite

> > asleep given her current speech and behaviour. Sure she may have

> > moments of clarity as do we all, but overall she is mostly asleep!

> >

> > Have a beautiful day :)

> >

> >

> > " So, I say, question what you believe and love where you're at.

> > There's nothing to fear but what we believe. " Byron

> >

>

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>

> As long as there are those of us willing to be bridges, then I don't

> see a reason to remove someone such as Tami. She, on this board, can

> be the perfect exercise to practice the work for many instead of

> just discussing it.

>

Hi Hypegia,

As mentioned we are not trying to have Tami removed, she is

perfect even in her confusion.

I respond to her posts here, primarily to correct her

misinterpretations and misapplications of the Work. From reading her

posts it would seem that the Work can be used to justify adultery,

rudeness, crudeness, vulgarity and the list goes on. She offends and

distresses others, then defends her actions by saying that they need

to question their own thinking. Or she may revert to the ultimate

defence by asking others to stay in their own business. Nice little

twist because that gives her free reign to go on offending and

upsetting others. She never seems to stop to realize that if love has

the slightest hint that it has hurt or offended anyone it stops

immediately, even though it is well aware that the only thing that

can really hurt another is their story.

I have no problem with Tami being Tami, she is caught in her stories

as we all are. She only evokes a response from me when she tries to

justify being Tami by misinterpreting and misapplying the insights

gained from the Work. The Work does indeed lead to total freedom in

our thoughts, but that does not translate to total freedom in the

world.

Have a beautiful day :)

" Love is what you are already. Love doesn't seek anything. It's

already complete. It doesn't want, doesn't need, has no shoulds. It

already has everything it wants, it already is everything it wants,

just the way it wants it. So when I hear people say that they love

someone and want to be loved in return, I know they're not talking

about love. They're talking about something else. " Byron

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Hypegia's most recent email and yours both reinforce the notion that being

intentionally cruel is not acceptable ever. And to hide behind " That isn't your

business " makes it even more arrogant and egotistical.

I have the right to say whatever I want. But if my words bring distress to

another, why would I ever want to utter them?

Vivian

Re: Black Hole Tami

>

> As long as there are those of us willing to be bridges, then I don't

> see a reason to remove someone such as Tami. She, on this board, can

> be the perfect exercise to practice the work for many instead of

> just discussing it.

>

Hi Hypegia,

As mentioned we are not trying to have Tami removed, she is

perfect even in her confusion.

I respond to her posts here, primarily to correct her

misinterpretations and misapplications of the Work. From reading her

posts it would seem that the Work can be used to justify adultery,

rudeness, crudeness, vulgarity and the list goes on. She offends and

distresses others, then defends her actions by saying that they need

to question their own thinking. Or she may revert to the ultimate

defence by asking others to stay in their own business. Nice little

twist because that gives her free reign to go on offending and

upsetting others. She never seems to stop to realize that if love has

the slightest hint that it has hurt or offended anyone it stops

immediately, even though it is well aware that the only thing that

can really hurt another is their story.

I have no problem with Tami being Tami, she is caught in her stories

as we all are. She only evokes a response from me when she tries to

justify being Tami by misinterpreting and misapplying the insights

gained from the Work. The Work does indeed lead to total freedom in

our thoughts, but that does not translate to total freedom in the

world.

Have a beautiful day :)

" Love is what you are already. Love doesn't seek anything. It's

already complete. It doesn't want, doesn't need, has no shoulds. It

already has everything it wants, it already is everything it wants,

just the way it wants it. So when I hear people say that they love

someone and want to be loved in return, I know they're not talking

about love. They're talking about something else. " Byron

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Hypegia

You are such a sweet person

I know I know the turn around

Tell me something I don't know ;-)

T

-- Re: Black hole Tami

>

> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

> > I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

> work with you

>

> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter productive.

>

> Vivian

LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny that

she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She can't hurt

nor offend me.

Let's see if I can break this down:

Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't control

their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician manipulates

his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's false.

Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind towards me

and I enjoy her.

I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

facilitate the stress you feel around this?

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> Buddhists say that desire IS suffering. That's always plunked around

> in my head as false, and now I know why. You can desire things, but

> you can also be completely content with not having those things at

the

> same time. I guess I see it from this angle: joy wants and welcomes

> more joy, but joy itself is enough.

>

> Thanks for the banter, . :)

Hi ,

I'm looking at the whole 'wanting' thing, and am confused. It does

seem like if I was just loving what the moment held, why would want be

present? Can I want and be satisfied in the same moment?

I find when I catch myself wanting, and do a body check, there isn't a

complete open-ness/relaxation. It's almost like a part of me is

saying 'no' and the body is holding that resistance.

If I go into a restaurant and look at a menu, though, I do find myself

choosing something over other options. So am I wanting then?

I want....the chicken salad, w/ ranch dressing. Do I? When I really

investigate it, it doesn't seem like I'm wanting it, I'm choosing it.

I can ask do the turnaround, 'I don't want a chicken salad' and it

feels true or truer. How would I reword that putting thinking into the

sentence?

Boy, I don't know where I'm going with all this. I do find myself

drawn to the discussion topic of wanting/desire/choosing.

If anyone is familiar with 's take on it, or want to share

theirs, I WANT to hear it. lol I do want to hear it, but I don't

feel stress with that thought. Maybe that means I'll love it if I get

a response, and I'll love it if I don't.

and round and round she goes

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What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

> I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

work with you

That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe has no place

on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter productive.

Vivian

Re: Reality?

>

> What is Reality?

>

> Tree doesn't eat its own fruits!

>

> Sun doesn't need its own light!

>

> A (wo)man dies and leaves whatever

> (s)he creates - behind! But, in trying

> to make everything " for me " and " about

> me " while (s)he is alive - (s)he goes

> against the 'flow of life' which

> creates a blockage andlot of unnecessary pain!

>

> What is spiritual living?

>

> Living with the knowledge that I don't

> live for 'self'!

>

> What is Bhakti?

>

> Serving Life!

>

> What is service?

>

> Serving Life!

>

> What is Dharma?

>

> Serving Life!

>

> How do you live when you don't live spiritually?

>

> You serve Life - but, you serve it with the " illusion " that it is

> about " me " !

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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>

> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

> > I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

> work with you

>

> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter productive.

>

> Vivian

LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny that

she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She can't hurt

nor offend me.

Let's see if I can break this down:

Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't control

their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician manipulates

his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's false.

Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind towards me

and I enjoy her.

I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

facilitate the stress you feel around this?

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There is no question that we are responsible for our own distress and are the

causers of it. We choose how to react. What one will cry at another will laugh

and move on.

However, if I see my actions or words cause another distress, even if I'm not

responsible for that person's reaction, it is still appropriate for me to pull

back and not do that action again. That is kindness.

Continuing on a course that causes distress in others is to intentionally

provoke reactions.

And that is Tami.

Vivian

Re: Black hole Tami

>

> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

> > I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

> work with you

>

> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter productive.

>

> Vivian

LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny that

she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She can't hurt

nor offend me.

Let's see if I can break this down:

Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't control

their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician manipulates

his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's false.

Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind towards me

and I enjoy her.

I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

facilitate the stress you feel around this?

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shame on me!

and without the story that I am " hurtful "

who would you be vivian?

just close your eyes, maybe touch your pussy a little

and tell me, what do you see?

You are welcome!

I am glad I could help you,

that is just the kind of person that I am-

kind, and HOT (see my profile)

T

> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

> > I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

> work with you

>

> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter

productive.

>

> Vivian

>

>

> Re: Reality?

> >

> > What is Reality?

> >

> > Tree doesn't eat its own fruits!

> >

> > Sun doesn't need its own light!

> >

> > A (wo)man dies and leaves whatever

> > (s)he creates - behind! But, in trying

> > to make everything " for me " and " about

> > me " while (s)he is alive - (s)he goes

> > against the 'flow of life' which

> > creates a blockage andlot of unnecessary pain!

> >

> > What is spiritual living?

> >

> > Living with the knowledge that I don't

> > live for 'self'!

> >

> > What is Bhakti?

> >

> > Serving Life!

> >

> > What is service?

> >

> > Serving Life!

> >

> > What is Dharma?

> >

> > Serving Life!

> >

> > How do you live when you don't live spiritually?

> >

> > You serve Life - but, you serve it with the " illusion " that it

is

> > about " me " !

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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Defending would be the right answer here

Or

Teaching (for confusion)

T

(just " observing "

-- Re: Re: Black hole Tami

I'm simply observing.

Vivian

Re: Re: Black hole Tami

> Dear Vivian,

>

> Are you defending or teaching?

>

> And it may be neither.

>

> But she is saying that to me.

>

> Love,

>

>

> PS: I'd think she spelled it that way either on purpose, or because

> she didn't care to look it up. We have a name for that, here: it's

> Tami. Don't we love names? :-) Oh, and it's not anyones job to be

> kind. We are too busy being rude, offending and counterproductive. We

> have no time for kindness. You do it.

>

> Am 14.02.2007 um 22:57 schrieb Vivian Barning:

>

>> There is no question that we are responsible for our own distress

>> and are the causers of it. We choose how to react. What one will

>> cry at another will laugh and move on.

>>

>> However, if I see my actions or words cause another distress, even

>> if I'm not responsible for that person's reaction, it is still

>> appropriate for me to pull back and not do that action again. That

>> is kindness.

>>

>> Continuing on a course that causes distress in others is to

>> intentionally provoke reactions.

>>

>> And that is Tami.

>>

>> Vivian

>>

>>>>> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

>>>>> I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

>>>>> work with you

>>>>

>>>> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

>>>> has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter

>>>> productive.

>>>>

>>>> Vivian

>>>

>>> LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny

>>> that

>>> she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

>>>

>>> If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

>>> feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She

>>> can't hurt

>>> nor offend me.

>>>

>>> Let's see if I can break this down:

>>>

>>> Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't

>>> control

>>> their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

>>> manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician

>>> manipulates

>>> his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

>>> but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's

>>> false.

>>>

>>> Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

>>> belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind

>>> towards me

>>> and I enjoy her.

>>>

>>> I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

>>> the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

>>> facilitate the stress you feel around this?

>>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Der fr?he Vogel f?ngt den Wurm. Hier gelangen Sie zum neuen Yahoo! Mail:

> http://mail.yahoo.de

>

>

>

>

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Dear Vivian,

Are you defending or teaching?

And it may be neither.

But she is saying that to me.

Love,

PS: I'd think she spelled it that way either on purpose, or because

she didn't care to look it up. We have a name for that, here: it's

Tami. Don't we love names? :-) Oh, and it's not anyones job to be

kind. We are too busy being rude, offending and counterproductive. We

have no time for kindness. You do it.

Am 14.02.2007 um 22:57 schrieb Vivian Barning:

> There is no question that we are responsible for our own distress

> and are the causers of it. We choose how to react. What one will

> cry at another will laugh and move on.

>

> However, if I see my actions or words cause another distress, even

> if I'm not responsible for that person's reaction, it is still

> appropriate for me to pull back and not do that action again. That

> is kindness.

>

> Continuing on a course that causes distress in others is to

> intentionally provoke reactions.

>

> And that is Tami.

>

> Vivian

>

>>>> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

>>>> I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

>>>> work with you

>>>

>>> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

>>> has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter

>>> productive.

>>>

>>> Vivian

>>

>> LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny

>> that

>> she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

>>

>> If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

>> feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She

>> can't hurt

>> nor offend me.

>>

>> Let's see if I can break this down:

>>

>> Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't

>> control

>> their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

>> manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician

>> manipulates

>> his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

>> but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's

>> false.

>>

>> Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

>> belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind

>> towards me

>> and I enjoy her.

>>

>> I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

>> the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

>> facilitate the stress you feel around this?

>

___________________________________________________________

Der frühe Vogel fängt den Wurm. Hier gelangen Sie zum neuen Yahoo! Mail:

http://mail.yahoo.de

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Share on other sites

I'm simply observing.

Vivian

Re: Re: Black hole Tami

> Dear Vivian,

>

> Are you defending or teaching?

>

> And it may be neither.

>

> But she is saying that to me.

>

> Love,

>

>

> PS: I'd think she spelled it that way either on purpose, or because

> she didn't care to look it up. We have a name for that, here: it's

> Tami. Don't we love names? :-) Oh, and it's not anyones job to be

> kind. We are too busy being rude, offending and counterproductive. We

> have no time for kindness. You do it.

>

> Am 14.02.2007 um 22:57 schrieb Vivian Barning:

>

>> There is no question that we are responsible for our own distress

>> and are the causers of it. We choose how to react. What one will

>> cry at another will laugh and move on.

>>

>> However, if I see my actions or words cause another distress, even

>> if I'm not responsible for that person's reaction, it is still

>> appropriate for me to pull back and not do that action again. That

>> is kindness.

>>

>> Continuing on a course that causes distress in others is to

>> intentionally provoke reactions.

>>

>> And that is Tami.

>>

>> Vivian

>>

>>>>> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

>>>>> I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

>>>>> work with you

>>>>

>>>> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

>>>> has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter

>>>> productive.

>>>>

>>>> Vivian

>>>

>>> LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny

>>> that

>>> she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

>>>

>>> If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

>>> feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She

>>> can't hurt

>>> nor offend me.

>>>

>>> Let's see if I can break this down:

>>>

>>> Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't

>>> control

>>> their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

>>> manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician

>>> manipulates

>>> his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

>>> but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's

>>> false.

>>>

>>> Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

>>> belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind

>>> towards me

>>> and I enjoy her.

>>>

>>> I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

>>> the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

>>> facilitate the stress you feel around this?

>>

>

>

>

>

>

> ___________________________________________________________

> Der frühe Vogel fängt den Wurm. Hier gelangen Sie zum neuen Yahoo! Mail:

> http://mail.yahoo.de

>

>

>

>

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And aren't you sharing, as well?

That what you are observing, is it inside or outside?

Love,

Vivian Barning schrieb:

I'm simply observing.

Vivian

Re: Re: Black hole Tami

> Dear Vivian,

>

> Are you defending or teaching?

>

> And it may be neither.

>

> But she is saying that to me.

>

> Love,

>

>

> PS: I'd think she spelled it that way either on purpose, or because

> she didn't care to look it up. We have a name for that, here: it's

> Tami. Don't we love names? :-) Oh, and it's not anyones job to be

> kind. We are too busy being rude, offending and counterproductive. We

> have no time for kindness. You do it.

>

> Am 14.02.2007 um 22:57 schrieb Vivian Barning:

>

>> There is no question that we are responsible for our own distress

>> and are the causers of it. We choose how to react. What one will

>> cry at another will laugh and move on.

>>

>> However, if I see my actions or words cause another distress, even

>> if I'm not responsible for that person's reaction, it is still

>> appropriate for me to pull back and not do that action again. That

>> is kindness.

>>

>> Continuing on a course that causes distress in others is to

>> intentionally provoke reactions.

>>

>> And that is Tami.

>>

>> Vivian

>>

>>>>> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

>>>>> I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

>>>>> work with you

>>>>

>>>> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

>>>> has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter

>>>> productive.

>>>>

>>>> Vivian

>>>

>>> LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny

>>> that

>>> she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

>>>

>>> If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

>>> feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She

>>> can't hurt

>>> nor offend me.

>>>

>>> Let's see if I can break this down:

>>>

>>> Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't

>>> control

>>> their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

>>> manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician

>>> manipulates

>>> his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

>>> but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's

>>> false.

>>>

>>> Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

>>> belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind

>>> towards me

>>> and I enjoy her.

>>>

>>> I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

>>> the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

>>> facilitate the stress you feel around this?

---------------------------------

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I would say we observe both ourselves and others. If I want to be kind and

notice I am not that, it is for me to do otherwise. I also notice when others

appear to be intentionally unkind. I think it is counterproductive on a Board to

have someone attacking others. It has a chilling effect on their desire to be

vulnerable and to share honestly. That led to my query as to whether someone

could be dropped from the Board.

Vivian

Re: Re: Black hole Tami

> Dear Vivian,

>

> Are you defending or teaching?

>

> And it may be neither.

>

> But she is saying that to me.

>

> Love,

>

>

> PS: I'd think she spelled it that way either on purpose, or because

> she didn't care to look it up. We have a name for that, here: it's

> Tami. Don't we love names? :-) Oh, and it's not anyones job to be

> kind. We are too busy being rude, offending and counterproductive. We

> have no time for kindness. You do it.

>

> Am 14.02.2007 um 22:57 schrieb Vivian Barning:

>

>> There is no question that we are responsible for our own distress

>> and are the causers of it. We choose how to react. What one will

>> cry at another will laugh and move on.

>>

>> However, if I see my actions or words cause another distress, even

>> if I'm not responsible for that person's reaction, it is still

>> appropriate for me to pull back and not do that action again. That

>> is kindness.

>>

>> Continuing on a course that causes distress in others is to

>> intentionally provoke reactions.

>>

>> And that is Tami.

>>

>> Vivian

>>

>>>>> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

>>>>> I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

>>>>> work with you

>>>>

>>>> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

>>>> has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter

>>>> productive.

>>>>

>>>> Vivian

>>>

>>> LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny

>>> that

>>> she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

>>>

>>> If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

>>> feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She

>>> can't hurt

>>> nor offend me.

>>>

>>> Let's see if I can break this down:

>>>

>>> Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't

>>> control

>>> their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

>>> manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician

>>> manipulates

>>> his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

>>> but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's

>>> false.

>>>

>>> Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

>>> belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind

>>> towards me

>>> and I enjoy her.

>>>

>>> I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

>>> the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

>>> facilitate the stress you feel around this?

---------------------------------

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telefonieren.

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Yes. Talk for yourself. You say you notice when others appear to be

intentionally unkind. In that moment you know something. How do you feel with

this knowledge, and who would you be without it?

You know how those feel who want to be unkind. It doesn't matter whether they

really do or not. You know their motives, you know why they do it. And you know

how those it is directed to feel. The moment you know these things they are real

to you. They all are part of your world. So I question them. So that I can act

without thought.

Another quote:

" A man sticks a pistol into my stomach, pulls the hammer back, and says: 'I'm

going to ill you.' I am shocked that he is taking his thoughts so seriously. To

seomone identified as an I, the thought of killing causes guilt that leads to a

life of suffering, so I ask him, as kindly as I can, not to do it. I don't tell

him that it's his suffering I'm thinking of. He says that he has to do it, and I

understand; I remember believing that I had to do things in my old life. I thank

him for doing the best he can, and I notice that I'm fascinated. " ... (A thousand

names for joy, p.5)

" I don't tell him that it's his suffering I'm thinking of. "

Love,

Vivian Barning schrieb:

I would say we observe both ourselves and others. If I want to be kind and

notice I am not that, it is for me to do otherwise. I also notice when others

appear to be intentionally unkind. I think it is counterproductive on a Board to

have someone attacking others. It has a chilling effect on their desire to be

vulnerable and to share honestly. That led to my query as to whether someone

could be dropped from the Board.

Vivian

Re: Re: Black hole Tami

> Dear Vivian,

>

> Are you defending or teaching?

>

> And it may be neither.

>

> But she is saying that to me.

>

> Love,

>

>

> PS: I'd think she spelled it that way either on purpose, or because

> she didn't care to look it up. We have a name for that, here: it's

> Tami. Don't we love names? :-) Oh, and it's not anyones job to be

> kind. We are too busy being rude, offending and counterproductive. We

> have no time for kindness. You do it.

>

> Am 14.02.2007 um 22:57 schrieb Vivian Barning:

>

>> There is no question that we are responsible for our own distress

>> and are the causers of it. We choose how to react. What one will

>> cry at another will laugh and move on.

>>

>> However, if I see my actions or words cause another distress, even

>> if I'm not responsible for that person's reaction, it is still

>> appropriate for me to pull back and not do that action again. That

>> is kindness.

>>

>> Continuing on a course that causes distress in others is to

>> intentionally provoke reactions.

>>

>> And that is Tami.

>>

>> Vivian

>>

>>>>> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

>>>>> I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

>>>>> work with you

>>>>

>>>> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

>>>> has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter

>>>> productive.

>>>>

>>>> Vivian

>>>

>>> LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny

>>> that

>>> she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

>>>

>>> If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

>>> feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She

>>> can't hurt

>>> nor offend me.

>>>

>>> Let's see if I can break this down:

>>>

>>> Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't

>>> control

>>> their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

>>> manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician

>>> manipulates

>>> his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

>>> but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's

>>> false.

>>>

>>> Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

>>> belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind

>>> towards me

>>> and I enjoy her.

>>>

>>> I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

>>> the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

>>> facilitate the stress you feel around this?

---------------------------------

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I will admit that there are times I feel superior and that is not in my best

interests.

But other times I think only of the one who is being shamed by the Tamis of

world.

Still other times I think: I'm so glad that I don't do that. It is cruel. And

then I like myself quite a lot.

vivian

Re: Re: Black hole Tami

> Dear Vivian,

>

> Are you defending or teaching?

>

> And it may be neither.

>

> But she is saying that to me.

>

> Love,

>

>

> PS: I'd think she spelled it that way either on purpose, or because

> she didn't care to look it up. We have a name for that, here: it's

> Tami. Don't we love names? :-) Oh, and it's not anyones job to be

> kind. We are too busy being rude, offending and counterproductive. We

> have no time for kindness. You do it.

>

> Am 14.02.2007 um 22:57 schrieb Vivian Barning:

>

>> There is no question that we are responsible for our own distress

>> and are the causers of it. We choose how to react. What one will

>> cry at another will laugh and move on.

>>

>> However, if I see my actions or words cause another distress, even

>> if I'm not responsible for that person's reaction, it is still

>> appropriate for me to pull back and not do that action again. That

>> is kindness.

>>

>> Continuing on a course that causes distress in others is to

>> intentionally provoke reactions.

>>

>> And that is Tami.

>>

>> Vivian

>>

>>>>> What is the phone number of your cykayetris?

>>>>> I want to call him and tell him that he has been doing a lousy

>>>>> work with you

>>>>

>>>> That's an example of the kind of comment from Tami that I believe

>>>> has no place on a board like this. It is hurtful and counter

>>>> productive.

>>>>

>>>> Vivian

>>>

>>> LOL. Now, if she wrote that to me, I would just think it's funny

>>> that

>>> she spelled psychiatrist so horribly wrong. Hahaha. :-D

>>>

>>> If I *believed* it was hurtful and counter productive, then I would

>>> feel the same as you. I just see it as Tami being Tami. She

>>> can't hurt

>>> nor offend me.

>>>

>>> Let's see if I can break this down:

>>>

>>> Tami sees how someone can react to her behavior. She doesn't

>>> control

>>> their reactions. She has no power to do so. She IS, however,

>>> manipulating their beliefs into an illusion as a magician

>>> manipulates

>>> his audience's perception. It LOOKS like he cut that woman in half,

>>> but it's false. Tami LOOKS like she's being offensive, but it's

>>> false.

>>>

>>> Tami cannot do that to me. Why? Because she just CAN'T. I have no

>>> belief for her to manipulate. She's actually been very kind

>>> towards me

>>> and I enjoy her.

>>>

>>> I see that you are distressed by her antics. But I see that you are

>>> the one responsible for your own distress. Would you like me to

>>> facilitate the stress you feel around this?

---------------------------------

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telefonieren.

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,

I am always good, (or so i am being told), and this may-be because it

is the only way to like myself.

That's the easy part.

But sometimes i have to meet with evil people who aim to a good person

as a target. And then i would like to not be good, for my own protection.

So i feel sometimes that being a good person to everyone is like i am

not good with myself- i feel it like i am straining myself.

I am not sure If it is obligatory to be good in order to be at ease-

what does say?

Is it that important to find a good story?

(terms good/not good/evil used extremely loosely.

i have no idea what makes a person good or not, maybe just by their

actions-if there is a wish to harm- or maybe it is just an undefined

" feeling " )

nel

" Vivian Barning " wrote:

>

> I will admit that there are times I feel superior and that is not in

my best interests.

> But other times I think only of the one who is being shamed by the

Tamis of world.

> Still other times I think: I'm so glad that I don't do that. It is

cruel. And then I like myself quite a lot.

>

> vivian

> Re: Re: Black hole Tami

>

>

> Yes. Talk for yourself. You say you notice when others appear to

be intentionally unkind. In that moment you know something. How do you

feel with this knowledge, and who would you be without it?

>

> You know how those feel who want to be unkind. It doesn't matter

whether they really do or not. You know their motives, you know why

they do it. And you know how those it is directed to feel. The moment

you know these things they are real to you. They all are part of your

world. So I question them. So that I can act without thought.

>

> Another quote:

> " A man sticks a pistol into my stomach, pulls the hammer back, and

says: 'I'm going to ill you.' I am shocked that he is taking his

thoughts so seriously. To seomone identified as an I, the thought of

killing causes guilt that leads to a life of suffering, so I ask him,

as kindly as I can, not to do it. I don't tell him that it's his

suffering I'm thinking of. He says that he has to do it, and I

understand; I remember believing that I had to do things in my old

life. I thank him for doing the best he can, and I notice that I'm

fascinated. " ... (A thousand names for joy, p.5)

>

> " I don't tell him that it's his suffering I'm thinking of. "

>

> Love,

>

>

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Dear Vivian,

> I will admit that there are times I feel superior and that is not in

> my best interests.

I'm glad you noticed.

> But other times I think only of the one who is being shamed by the

> Tamis of world.

How loving of you. Towards the person being shamed.

Do you know any?

And do you really care for them? What do you want to protect them

from? Why? What experience do you want to take away from them?

Who *are* these people you want to protect?

> Still other times I think: I'm so glad that I don't do that. It is

> cruel. And then I like myself quite a lot.

Yes, you are sooo wonderful!

Give yourself a break once in a while.

Love,

___________________________________________________________

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,

Thanks for your response. I'm curious as to your last comment: Give yourself a

break once in awhile.

I've heard that before from perceptive people. And yet I see it as just trying

to be fair and evenhanded. Yes I hold myself to a high standard but why wouldn't

I? And I would hope others would do the same, both to me and to themselves.

Vivian

Re: Re: Black hole Tami

Dear Vivian,

> I will admit that there are times I feel superior and that is not in

> my best interests.

I'm glad you noticed.

> But other times I think only of the one who is being shamed by the

> Tamis of world.

How loving of you. Towards the person being shamed.

Do you know any?

And do you really care for them? What do you want to protect them

from? Why? What experience do you want to take away from them?

Who *are* these people you want to protect?

> Still other times I think: I'm so glad that I don't do that. It is

> cruel. And then I like myself quite a lot.

Yes, you are sooo wonderful!

Give yourself a break once in a while.

Love,

__________________________________________________________

Telefonate ohne weitere Kosten vom PC zum PC: http://messenger.yahoo.de

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