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-Go-Round / there is no where to get to!

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I got to my parents house yesterday morning, all the possessions I'd

taken with me to my carnival job all boxed and bagged.

48 hours later I will be hopping on train to go to waitress job in

Washington state. So much of what I've packed I will just repack.

But it kinda seemed like I didn't know if I was coming or going.

Then I saw a little merry-go-round sticker that I'd bought to use for

stationary when I thought I'd be with the carnival all summer.

And looking at the merry-go-round image reflected how I was feeling,

going round and round in circles but never really getting anywhere.

And suddenly it was like the universe opened up for an instant and I

saw the truth, that we never really do go anywhere.

For as long as I can remember I've felt like I need to either 'be'

someone, or/and 'get somewhere'. But what am I to 'be' and where am I

to 'go.'?????

no thing/no where

Ever ridden a merry-go-round where there are gold rings that you reach

for? In Spokane they have one like that, there are rings you can

reach for as you lean from your horsie that's going up and down. And

if you grab the gold one, you get a free ride.

But I guess I don't need to try to get the gold one anymore, because I

can't seem to get off the -Go-Round.

This post is making me dizzy.

Life is a carnival.

1) play the carnival games where you win cheap materialistic crap that

you think will make you happy but doesn't really

2) buy and eat lots of junk food

3) then ride dizzying rides that make you throw up the junk food you

ate onto the prizes you won

Ex-Carny

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mary go round..

I was thinking about that very thing yesterday.. that i never seem to

get any better or improve much.

I suppose my stories are so entrenched or its in the wanting to get

somewhere i am not in the present enough to notice the now

. Have a fun trip, r

-- In Loving-what-is , " " wrote:

>

> I got to my parents house yesterday morning, all the possessions I'd

> taken with me to my carnival job all boxed and bagged.

>

> 48 hours later I will be hopping on train to go to waitress job in

> Washington state. So much of what I've packed I will just repack.

>

> But it kinda seemed like I didn't know if I was coming or going.

>

> Then I saw a little merry-go-round sticker that I'd bought to use for

> stationary when I thought I'd be with the carnival all summer.

>

> And looking at the merry-go-round image reflected how I was feeling,

> going round and round in circles but never really getting anywhere.

>

> And suddenly it was like the universe opened up for an instant and I

> saw the truth, that we never really do go anywhere.

>

> For as long as I can remember I've felt like I need to either 'be'

> someone, or/and 'get somewhere'. But what am I to 'be' and where am I

> to 'go.'?????

>

> no thing/no where

>

> Ever ridden a merry-go-round where there are gold rings that you reach

> for? In Spokane they have one like that, there are rings you can

> reach for as you lean from your horsie that's going up and down. And

> if you grab the gold one, you get a free ride.

>

> But I guess I don't need to try to get the gold one anymore, because I

> can't seem to get off the -Go-Round.

>

> This post is making me dizzy.

>

> Life is a carnival.

>

> 1) play the carnival games where you win cheap materialistic crap that

> you think will make you happy but doesn't really

> 2) buy and eat lots of junk food

> 3) then ride dizzying rides that make you throw up the junk food you

> ate onto the prizes you won

>

> Ex-Carny

>

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