scared about my new job/bring it on baby movement

[Guest guest]

I start my new job (traveling carnival) in about a day and a half.

And I'm scared.

I'm scared because I have quit so very many jobs in the past.

I'm scared because at so many jobs in the past I've butted heads with

people, and/or gotten so upset when it's noisy at night, and I want to

sleep. Or gotten upset with people who just talk and talk, or don't

talk at all. Scared that I want to start a support group and/or

spiritual group with co-workers and maybe no one will be interested.

Scared that everybody else will be going to the bars every night, and

since I rarely enjoy going to bars, I'll stay back - though that

doesn't sound too bad to me.

But something feels different this time. Something about acknowledging

the fear. About being afraid before I go into it. But going into it

anyway. I love the scene from THE MATRIX, where Neo is facing his

adversary, and stretches his arm out, and with his fingers, does the

'bring it on baby' movement. That's what I'm doing, I can see the

fear, and I'm doing the 'bring it on baby' movement.

Maybe I'll quit before the first day is over. Maybe I'll have my own

carnival a few years down the line, and Tami will be the incredible

bearded lady.

But it feels different. Something about allowing the fear to be, and

choosing to be with it.

Put down the magnifying glass, and pick up the mirror.

I have picked up the mirror here, kinda.

I've got many worksheets, and will keep them handy.

(soon to be) Carny

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Sounds exciting .. I hope you get a chance to write to us and let us

know how it is

DO you sleep in a trailer or where?

I hope you dont get a roommate who snores. Do you have ear plugs?

I listen to Eckart Tolle CDS when i cant sleep with a headset -ear

phones on..

sometimes and sometimes not if my husband wants to hear it.

Eckart is great but he puts me to sleep.. I know that seems odd but

for me it cures insomnia..

I found out a friend of mine is on an antidepressant called lexapro..

And on the web it says 12 million people are taking it..

Is anybody drug free? Is it true.. well i guess.

My counselor told me i needed antidepressants so now i am going to ask

my old unity teacher flo to be my counselor.. Im sort of worried she

will say i should take pills too.. oh drats..

KEep us posted and good luck and best wishes,

roslyn

>

> I start my new job (traveling carnival) in about a day and a half.

> And I'm scared.

>

> I'm scared because I have quit so very many jobs in the past.

>

> I'm scared because at so many jobs in the past I've butted heads with

> people, and/or gotten so upset when it's noisy at night, and I want to

> sleep. Or gotten upset with people who just talk and talk, or don't

> talk at all. Scared that I want to start a support group and/or

> spiritual group with co-workers and maybe no one will be interested.

> Scared that everybody else will be going to the bars every night, and

> since I rarely enjoy going to bars, I'll stay back - though that

> doesn't sound too bad to me.

>

> But something feels different this time. Something about acknowledging

> the fear. About being afraid before I go into it. But going into it

> anyway. I love the scene from THE MATRIX, where Neo is facing his

> adversary, and stretches his arm out, and with his fingers, does the

> 'bring it on baby' movement. That's what I'm doing, I can see the

> fear, and I'm doing the 'bring it on baby' movement.

>

> Maybe I'll quit before the first day is over. Maybe I'll have my own

> carnival a few years down the line, and Tami will be the incredible

> bearded lady.

>

> But it feels different. Something about allowing the fear to be, and

> choosing to be with it.

>

> Put down the magnifying glass, and pick up the mirror.

>

> I have picked up the mirror here, kinda.

>

> I've got many worksheets, and will keep them handy.

>

> (soon to be) Carny

>